Rhyperior

The day: hot and dusty. The place: an old rock quarry. The time: when the sun was still high and the shadows were still small. The contenders: one male Rhyperior, eight feet tall and cracking his knuckles, and one female Rhyperior, taller but with smaller drill horns on her snout.

These two were rarely seen Pokemon that caused curiosity, and uncertainty, in the smaller and less developed locals. These wild ones lurked on higher ledges, feeling that this was the calm before the storm. A handful of Rattatas peered down to the bottom level where the two giant Pokemon watched each other. The giants were grinning with mischief and anticipation. A few Taillows kept an eye on the two humans, Trainers to the two below. The only one not paying attention was a Geodude, hiding under a pile of rocks and (pardon the expression) sleeping like a log.

The humans were also one boy and one girl, cousins who had conspired to train and grow their Pokemon to this level. They both had orangey-red hair, freckles, and dusty clothes. The girl held onto a thick white stick with an old off-white bath towel tied to the end of it. The boy held onto a digital camera, waiting to record what would take place. Some time ago, an idea had come to them. Now they were about to see if it would be as they thought.

Was it stupid? Probably. Was it insane? An argument could be made for that. Was it going to be stupendously ridiculously enormously crazily awesome? They sure hoped so, which was why they were recording the event.

The two star Pokemon were ready, only their patience from being trained holding them still. The local Pokemon were ready, although they weren't sure what for. The two Trainers were ready. The boy looked up at his cousin and frowned, wondering why she was taking so long. The girl grinned, then whipped the homemade flag high in the air.

The two Rhyperiors roared a friendly challenge to each other. This startled the quarry's keeper, a cranky oddball hermit who kept a shotgun in arm's reach at all times. He glared at the quarry, grumbling about doggone Pokemon before turning back to his crossword puzzle.

Not wasting any more time, the two Rhyperiors both snatched up rocks. With their unique muscle structure, they were able to fire these rocks from the palms of their hands like they were using ginormous slingshots instead. They did so at each other, but neither would allow themselves to be hit. Instead, they used their arms to bat the rocks right back at the other.

Then, with speed surprising for such large creatures, they snatched up two more rocks and began juggling them as well. The female slipped up and sent one of her returns wide. The Taillows screeched out of the way of the careening fowl ball, but soon returned to watch. This was just too weird and wild to miss.

On another ledge, the Rattatas began cheering, even though they weren't sure what the point of this exercise was. The girl human squealed, jumping and waving the towel flag wildly, while the boy yelled encouragement to his similarly gendered Rhyperior. The female Rhyperior, possibly accidentally, whacked a rock to whiz right by the male human to where he could feel the wind from its passage. But that wouldn't stop this match, no-sir-ee.

The male Rhyperior managed to bat back two rocks towards his counterpart before snatching up a third and shooting it at her. The thump of his heavy footstep finally awoke the sleeping Geodude, who wondered if she was still in a dream. The trio of rocks arrived at nearly the same time, but the female Rhyperior wasn't fazed. She whipped her body around and batted all three towards her peer's head.

That was a bit much. He rolled aside, then grabbed the puzzled Geodude. She realized quickly what deep trouble she was in and began flailing her arms about. However, the Rhyperior was too caught up in the excitement of the moment. Grinning, he fired.

The female Rhyperior did notice that the new rock was a living Pokemon... but she didn't really care. Grinning back, almost to the point of insanity, she braced her whole body, then brought all the power she had into smacking the Geodude like an all-star baseball player looking to make a home run record.

And the Geodude flew, zooming high over the male Rhyperior, screaming high over the Rattatas, speeding out of the quarry, smashing directly into the window of the quarry keeper's house, blasting the table and its contents all over the room, then finally crashing into an antique china cabinet, destroying it and everything inside.

Seeing stars whirling above her head and shards of white and blue plates around her, the Geodude moaned, "Why meeee?"

In the quarry, everything had come to a standstill. The wild Pokemon knew the crashing sound was a bad sign. The two Rhyperiors stared up in the direction of the house with their jaws dropped. The girl Trainer dropped the flag. The boy Trainer brought his camera closer. "Uh-oh."

The quarry keeper recovered from the shock first. Instinctively, he grabbed his shotgun and rushed outside. He fired off a blast as soon as there was sky above him. "Whoever is responsible for this mess is going to pay in blood!"

The boy Trainer jumped up and grabbed the Pokeball at his side. "Rhyperior, back!"

"Rye-Rye, back!" After the two were safely away, she whispered, "Let's get out of here!"

Another shotgun blast scattered all the locals and sent the two teens scrambling up the narrow path they had taken into the quarry. The resulting video had three million Internet hits by the day's end.

…

Rhyperior Diamond/Pearl entry: It puts rocks in holes in its palms and uses its muscles to shoot them. Geodude are shot at rare times.

If I had two Rhyperiors, I would totally do that.