Chapter Fifteen

In all the years of their partnership, Ladybug had never really given much thought to when they'd previously held hands. It had simply been a means to an end. Chat Noir had always been the one with the goofy look on his face but now it was stoic. She was the one melting inside. She was the one whose heart thundered like a furious storm. Meanwhile her partner was eyeing the sky as if expecting an attack. His grip on her fingers was firm, yet still loose enough for her to pull away if the need arose. It was like they were in the middle of an akuma fight, yet they weren't.

Chat Noir was as edgy as he'd been after Hawkmoth's defeat. While his movements were fluid as he prowled through the shadows, there was a stiffness to his broad shoulders. Cat ears flickered at the briefest sounds and his nostrils flared as he scented the air. The end of his tail twitched harshly as one of the helicopters veered in their direction.

There was a strong tug on her hand as Chat Noir pulled her behind him and reached for his baton. "Why are you so jumpy?" she asked.

"I told you, I don't want to talk to the media. They've run roughshod over my life enough as it is."

Ladybug was taken aback. "All they've done is enquire about your whereabouts and rattled off some conspiracy theories. Nothing bad had been said about you."

There was much venom in his voice as he glared at the sky. "I'm not talking about while I'm being Chat Noir. It's the other half of my life they're intent on exposing every last dirty detail of."

Blue eyes scrutinised his face, looking for a clue to his identity outside the mask, but it was kind of pointless. Tikki had told her before that the magic of their miraculous had mysterious ways of protecting their identities. "But they don't know who lies under Chat Noir's mask. Even I don't know who you are."

Her partner's green gaze fell on her and lost all its hostility. "And for that I'm truly thankful."

A shard of pain shot through her chest. "You're glad I don't know?"

"I was meaning more the first part of what you said."

"But you stayed away from me too."

The panning spotlight of the helicopter drew Chat Noir's attention and he shifted closer to the buildings and increased their pace. "How about we discuss things when we're not being hounded by the media?"

Ladybug let out a resigned huff. "Fine. Lead on."

For a kilometre they stuck to the laneways. For most of it, Ladybug studied her partner. There was a wariness to Chat Noir that had never existed in their previous endeavours, and it broke her heart to see it. Gone was the cocksure show off, who paraded his antics for the world to see. In his place was a much more hesitant and stealthy Chat Noir. The shadows almost seemed to cling to him as they wove their way through the streets.

Eventually he paused, seemingly satisfied that they were out of range of the helicopters. He waved her closer as he held his staff vertical and wrapped an arm around her waist to shoot them up to the rooftops. It was something they'd done many times before, but again for Ladybug it felt different. As familiar as Chat Noir was, this older version was somewhat foreign. The press of her body to his was more intimate, and she was noticing that he was more chiselled than she recalled. The other big stand out was his silence. Normally her partner was chatty and playful.

As they landed together she couldn't help but wonder if his feelings for her had changed. Ladybug swallowed, she'd always been the one to push him away. What if he'd met someone? After three years it was entirely possible that he could be married. Though there had been a minor exchange of flirting earlier. Yet that could be a hang up from old habits. His current focus was on running, so there was little evidence either way to know if Chat Noir was still aware of her in that regard.

His attention was firmly on their journey. Now that they were on the rooftops, he dropped her hand and began travelling across the divide. For the most part, he ducked between chimneys and neared buildings with their lights out. Chat Noir chose a pathway that was winding and arduous but kept them away from prying eyes. At no point did he show off or flounce about. Ladybug couldn't help but wonder, what had caused this drastic change in her partner?

Blue eyes widened in surprise when they moved into a more affluent part of the city. Here Chat Noir showed more caution, alternating between a running crouch and all-four sprints. He really didn't want to be seen. She followed him without hesitation, determined to prove to him that she was okay with his terms.

Ladybug was so focussed on duplicating his movements and tracing his footsteps that she was startled when he finally stopped at a penthouse rooftop courtyard. Chat Noir straightened his spine and replaced his baton to his back. That same hand reached out to hers, "This way." Ladybug placed her gloved hand within his and he led her around the scattered pot plants and furniture. They stopped at glass bi-folding doors and Chat unzipped his pocket to retrieve a remote key. With the doors opened, Chat Noir waved her inside. "Welcome to my home."

Stepping inside her eyes bulged, the place was spacious without being huge but at the same time the furnishings screamed of money. An involuntary gasped escaped Ladybug. Apparently Chat Noir was loaded. "You live here?"

"You sound shocked." He said with a touch of amusement in his eyes.

"I guess this wasn't what I was expecting."

He chuckled. "Did you think I lived in a cat-run?"

Ladybug shrugged. "To be honest I never gave it much thought."

With a press on the remote, the doors behind Chat closed and the glass turned opaque. "There's definite advantages in a place like this. It's very private, and it's the primary reason why I bought it." He turned on a few more lights before indicating a hand to sit. Ladybug placed herself on the black leather lounge and crossed her legs.

Chat Noir stopped at the coffee table, fidgeting with his ring. "Do you want anything to drink or eat?"

A smirk crept across Ladybug's lips as Chat's left knee began to bounce as he awaited her answer. "A glass of water would be great."

He gave a sharp nod and dashed to the open plan kitchen as if his backside were on fire. Ladybug spun sideways in her seat to watch as he hurried back with two glasses. As he handed hers over, she felt a sense of relief when their fingers brushed. Again, he stood looking at her as if he were uncertain what to do. She cleared her throat. "You brought me here to talk?" she prompted with gentle teasing.

His Adam's apple bobbed, "Right." Sinking down beside her, Chat Noir picked up his tail for a moment then dropped it to rest his elbows on his knees. Green eyes darted to hers with a look of apprehension. "As you may have guessed, I come from a wealthy background. In actual fact, I'm rather famous out of the mask."

She half expected him to drop his transformation after that declaration but he didn't. Instead he lifted his glass of water to his lips and gulped it down. In a very feline move, he raised his wrist to wipe his face before turning back to her. Those worried eyes met with hers. "Coming from a rich family, a lot of people would think I've lived the high life. I was born into money that my father made from his own business. My mother was in the film industry and dabbled in acting. But things turned sour when I reached my teens, that is before I met you."

Chat Noir's fingers clenched as he looked at her hands resting in her lap. She wondered if he was considering reaching for her, but he laid his hands on his thighs. "My life changed for the worst when my mother disappeared. Father would never tell me the details, I just knew she was gone and he became emotionally cold. He pushed me to be perfect in everything, failure was not an option. I had to be flawless."

The air in Ladybug's lungs burned. This story was all too familiar. Chat Noir looked down at his hands again and fiddled with his ring before gazing up at her. "I know I have my faults, but I had to hide them. I had to be the good son, but inside it was killing me. When I got this," he held up his hand displaying his miraculous, "I finally felt free. And being with you, it was like the real me actually mattered."

For a moment she glimpsed a genuine smile from her partner, but it quickly faded. "It was hard balancing the two aspects of my life, as I'm sure you understand. I had to sneak out a lot when I needed to transform, that included evading security cameras, bodyguards and my father's assistant. I'm pretty sure they thought I was going through some rebellious phase and they tried to hide it from my father. But little did I know why I saw him so infrequently. It turned out he was living a double life too."

Chat Noir turned to face Ladybug, the muscles in his jaw were taunt as he finally reached over to pick up her hands. His voice was unsteady as he intertwined their fingers. "Nobody wants to believe that their parents are capable of wicked things. We all make bad decisions but Father's desperation for my mother was obsessive. But I had no clue, I was completely oblivious. When we faced Hawkmoth, I had an inkling but I wanted to be wrong. I had to be wrong. When you removed his miraculous, my worst fears were confirmed, I was fighting my own father."

He sank down onto the floor on his knees before her, clutching her hands in a vicelike grip. "I was already on the verge of losing control when he tried to kill you, but I completely snapped when he said that all he cared about was bringing back my mother. That he would let me die to have her back. I wanted to hurt him, like he'd hurt me. I wanted to beat him to an inch of his life, then eviscerate him with my claws and it scared the hell out of me. It made me realise I'm no better than him. I'm a monster too."

Dropping his forehead to her knees, a sob escaped him. "I should have told you why I reacted as I did, you deserved that. But was so ashamed. I couldn't look you in the eye, let alone face you. And I'm sorry for that. You deserve a better partner, someone far stronger than me."

Ladybug lowered herself to the floor, sweeping him into her arms as tears streamed down her mask. "No Chat, you're my partner, and you will always be my partner. I knew something was wrong, it wasn't like you to be so violent but Hawkmoth tried to kill both of us." She caught his face in her hands, lifting his head to look him in the eye. Green eyes pooled with tears as she continued. "He sliced your face, Chat. I thought you were going to die. I've never been so terrified in my life. But then you called on your power when I was frozen in fear. If you'd really been a monster, you would have used cataclysm on Hawkmoth instead of on his sword."

Chat Noir's whole body began to tremble as his cried with shuddering breaths. "I wanted to do it. I needed to save myself, and to save you. I simply reacted. What if my hand had missed the sword? What if I'd killed my own father?"

"But you didn't. We're alive, your father is alive. We won, the people of Paris are safe." Ladybug stroked her thumbs across his cheeks, wiping away the steady flow of his tears. "Everyone is worried about you. Everyone wants to know, what happened to Chat Noir? And you left me hanging for five months. Five months, Chat. For all I knew you were dead. The media you hate so much, grilled me continuously about you and I knew nothing. I retired after two long years of it because I couldn't take not knowing anymore. I'm not that strong either."

"I'm so sorry," he blubbered as he pulled her close. "I was so caught up in my own problems that I didn't consider what I was doing to you."

Ladybug stroked the hair at his nape and closed her eyes, gaining as much comfort from the action as she was giving. "I understand now why, but I wish you'd trusted me enough to tell me." It was rhetorical, but she couldn't help adding, "Adrien, why didn't you tell me!"

His answer was immediate, as if using his real name compelled him to confess. "Because I've always been alone. Isolated from other people because my father believed that relying on others was a weakness. Needing help was a weakness. Caring for others was a weakness." Chat shuddered with a tortured sob, "He used that against me, he knew I wouldn't let his business fail because I care. I couldn't let all those people down. And I stupidly bent to his will, the same way I always do. Because I am weak. The fact I couldn't even talk to you, shows how truly pathetic I am."

"Stop, right there. You are not pathetic and you are not alone." Ladybug snapped. "You pushed me away but I'm here now. To need other people is not a sign of weakness, nor is it a weakness to care or ask for help. We're human, we make mistakes. To learn from them makes us better and stronger people. And I know you're a good person, Adrien, because we share a relationship outside the masks too."

Chat Noir's eyes grew wide and his feline ears rotated back in shock. "We do?"

Ladybug smiled at him as she evoked the magic to dispel her transformation. "Tikki, spots off." A steady flash of pink light rolled over the heroine to reveal the woman beneath.

"Marinette!" Chat Noir gasped at his eyes raked over her face and his mouth hung open in shock. "T-that's why you were so upset when you saw me," he murmured as he put the pieces together. Suddenly she was pulled into a fierce hug. Chat Noir cradled her nape as he tugged her into the crook of his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

For a while they simply held each other. Both relieved at finding each other and that there were no more secrets between them. Well there was one, but Marinette wasn't sure if now was the time to express that particular emotion. Yes, Chat Noir had always been open with his admiration for her, but that was before he discovered who she really was. Heck her cheeks started to burn as she realised the implications of all his previous actions as Chat Noir. Underneath it all, Adrien Agreste had been flirting and showing off all those years, for her.

Swallowing hard, Marinette became all too aware of the fact that she was currently straddling Chat Noir's knees as they held each other. His arms were firmly wrapped around her body and only their clothes provided any barrier between their touching torsos. To add to that, Chat Noir's face was buried against her neck. She could feel his every breath, which had slowed drastically from his earlier sobs.

Placing her hands on his shoulders, she sat back to look at him. There was something almost shy about him as their eyes met. "Are you going to transform?" she asked.

A timid, yet lopsided smile tugged at his lips. "Plagg, claws in." And like that Chat Noir's familiar visage and costume disappeared. The reality that she was sitting on Adrien Agreste's lap really began to sink in. Before she could say anything, there was a flurry of movement beside them.

Tikki and Plagg were twirling around each other in the air, clearly pleased to be reunited. The soft brush of fingers against her cheek returned her attention back to Adrien. Shifting her gaze to him, she arched an eyebrow. "To think, you completely ignored me hanging outside your window for months, but you were happy enough to speak to me when I was out of the mask."

Adrien's fingers traced her jawline to her chin. "I wouldn't say you were completely ignored. Plagg gave me a running commentary of what you were doing." His head dipped as his look turned sheepish, "Plus I may have worn certain types of clothing that showed off my physique while climbing."

Marinette rolled her eyes, it was such a typical Chat Noir thing for him to do. "I should have picked up right there that I was looking at my partner."

"Ah, but did you like what you saw, milady?"

She tapped a finger on the end of his nose and smirked. Here was the flirting she expected from Chat Noir. It felt a little odd having it come from Adrien, but the look on his face was one she was well established in seeing from her partner. Sliding her arms over his shoulders to link at his neck, she leaned in close and watched his pupils widened as she admitted, "I've always liked what seen."

And let the awakening romance begin... More to come next chapter. As usual thanks for all your support, reviews, follows and favourites.

To Hannah, who posted a guest review, the website automatically removes email addresses in messages so I couldn't send you the update. You can create an account on the site as just a reader (you don't have to be a writer), that way you can follow and favourite stories you enjoy. Cheers :)