Many, many apologies. I'm sure you've been wondering what's happened to me. If you haven't been wondering please don't tell me as that will depress me ;) At any rate, I really struggled with writers block. That combined with being ridiculously busy at work has kept me further away from my writing than I'd like. At any rate, here you go!
For the first few minutes in the car, Lizzy simply enjoyed the peace and quiet. No storming relatives, no worries about clothes, appearances or what anyone thought of them. It was just the two of them. She looked over at William and saw his eyes firmly focused on the road ahead. She sighed. 'Five days. They'd been married for five days and they'd already faced so much. Really, William had,' Lizzy thought. She looked over to him again and noticed a frown on his face. He looked unhappy. 'Was he regretting his decision to marry her? Between the money she'd cost him, the issues with his sister and aunt, the press scrutiny, and now the possibility of losing a relationship with one of his closest friends, his marriage to her was fraught with problems. Why had she agreed to go along with all of this?' Biting her lip, she was filled with regret. 'She was the only one benefiting from this marriage. She couldn't bear the thought of all the pain and trouble she'd caused. But what could she do?' Lost in her thoughts and worry, she became oblivious to everything else.
"Lizzy?" He reached over to touch her arm to get her attention. "Lizzy, we're home." Startled, Lizzy quickly blinked back the tears that had gathered in her eyes. She didn't want him to see her pity tears. Grabbing her bag, she climbed out of the car and quietly followed him up to the condo. William, lost in thought himself, absently leaned down to place a kiss on her lips and went off to check his email.
The kitchen was Lizzy's respite when she was stressed or unhappy. She found herself puttering around trying to determine something special she could make William for dinner. She was pulling ingredients together for her speciality, chicken and rice, when she felt William's arms wrap around her pulling her into his chest, his lips on her neck. "What are you doing in here Lizzy? You have a final tomorrow and should be studying not cooking. I'll take care of dinner. It won't be as tasty but I'm sure I can manage something."
"Can you stop, please?" Lizzy pleaded, frustration edging her voice.
"Stop what?" William asked completely confused.
"Being so, so, so perfect. Ugh, I can't handle it. I know you're going to turn around one day soon and simply see all the sacrifices and difficulties our marriage has caused. I don't want you to come to resent me. The least I can do is make dinner. It's the only thing I'm probably good for although I guess you could have Mrs. Reynolds come down to do that for you too." Her tears started falling in earnest. She needed to be alone. Running from the kitchen she ran into the bathroom locking the door behind her. She needed to push him away before he decided to first.
William stood in the kitchen stunned. He thought back over their afternoon and the ride home. She'd been quiet in the car and when they'd first come home. He realized this outburst had probably been brewing since they'd left his aunt and uncle's home. Confused, he reflected on her words. 'Resent her? How could she think that? I'm all in here. And why was she taking on everyone else's issues? She's done nothing wrong. Their issues were caused by others. She'd been perfect throughout this mess.' William needed to find her and talk this out; not his strong suit but he knew it's what his aunt Sophia would tell him to do. Walking down the hall, he heard the shower running. He pulled out his phone, sat down on the floor outside the bathroom, and read through email waiting for the shower to end. Hopefully a little time and space would help clear her head.
The shower did help and her mind was more focused, yet resigned to her fate. She wouldn't make this hard for him. She'd let him out of this marriage and deal with the consequences of her immigration issues. Towel drying her hair she thought about the decisions she'd made. Her only regret was for the issues she caused for William. She had no regrets for herself. Wrapped in a towel, she opened the door tripping over William's legs as she attempted to exit the bathroom, her body spilling across the floor.
"Are you ok? I didn't hear the door open." William asked with concern. She was mortified. "Graceful as a gazelle. Just another one of my redeeming qualities." Lizzy murmured as she rubbed her hip.
William got himself off the floor and reached his hand to Lizzy, pulling her up to stand next to him,"We need to talk."
"I know. I'm sorry I ran away. I needed to order my thoughts."
William handed her a robe, "If I wait for you in the living room, will you come out to talk to me?"
"Yes. I promise, just give me a moment." Lizzy answered quietly.
The two made their way to the couch, Lizzy picking the opposite end of where William had chosen to sit. "I think we made a mistake. I didn't realize how much trouble this marriage would cause. I think we should get an annulment."
William just sat there, open-mouthed. "What? Why? Is that really what you want?"
"It's the right thing to do." she answered quietly.
"For who. For who is it right? For my sister? For Caroline Bingley? For my aunt? The press?" William was standing at this point, his face red and fists clenched.
"For you." Lizzy answered quietly.
"Who are you to decide what's best for me? I love you. And you told me you love me. We've had two difficult days and just like that you want to throw it all away? I thought you were stronger then that." William's voice cracked, anger and sadness filling him. "When we came home, I walked into the living room and saw the picture you hung on our wall and it made me so happy. You're the only one whose been able to patch over my cracks and holes Lizzy. Why are you trying to create a new one?"
"That's not what I said. I just, I'm scared. You're pushing everyone away for me - Charlie, your sister, your aunt. I've fallen in love with you and I'm so worried that if I fall further it will hurt so much more when you realize that I'm not enough."
William took a deep breath and sat down again, this time next to Lizzy. "You need to trust me."
"I do trust you," Lizzy insisted.
"Clearly you don't or we wouldn't be having this conversation." William answered, calm but certainly not collected. "Why do you care what they think? Why don't you care what I think?" William demanded.
"William I trust you to do the right thing. I'm just worried that the right thing will cost you too much. If I can save you any misery, I will do what's necessary."
"Stop being a martyr then and stop talking about leaving me. This mess is my fault, not yours. My friends and family are being idiots. You've done nothing wrong. I'm sorry this week has been so stressful. As I was driving home all I could think about was next Wednesday. When we could simply be for a little while. Please don't give up." William was almost pleading.
Lizzy looked into his sweet, earnest face. She didn't want to walk away from him, or what they'd committed to one another. It was just so hard for her to believe he'd want to be with her given all of the challenges that had already erupted. She'd never trusted her happiness to another and it seemed so much more complicated than she'd ever imagined. "I'm sorry. This is all very hard for me. I just got so worried. I don't want to give up. I just want things to be ok." Lizzy sighed, resting her head on William's chest.
Pulling her onto his lap, arms wrapped around her, he whispered into her hair, "Lizzy, I don't know how this will all end up but I do know that you make me happy. I believe that as long as we're together, everything will be ok. Just try to trust me a little."
They rested on the couch together, holding one another, simply enjoying the feel of one another in their arms. Lizzy wanted to trust him so much. It required a leap of faith but, she reasoned to herself, she didn't have much to lose. At that moment she decided that the only way forward was to focus on William's happiness. If he was happy, then so was she. "Let's make dinner together."
"Are we ok?" He asked.
"Yes. I'm sorry I panicked. We're ok."
"Then dinner must be made. You can help only if you promise to focus on studying afterwards. You, young lady, have not done nearly enough studying for your finals."
"Yes, sir. I promise."
"I think I need a kiss to seal the deal." William demanded.
She didn't need to be asked twice. Several minutes later, she retightened her belt robe and they made their way to the kitchen.
Lizzy and William had turned in well past midnight. Opening one eye to peer at the clock, Lizzy decided to be grateful for the five hours she'd managed to sleep. Stress was not necessarily conducive to good sleep and she woke this morning with a pit in her stomach. Her exam was at 10:00 and it would be the first time she'd face her classmates since the news broke. To this point, Lizzy really hadn't encountered anyone outside her closest circle of friends and, if it wasn't enough to have the stress of finals, she'd need to deal with everyone's impressions of her as well.
Sitting up, she found William sleeping deeply. He was a large man and when he slept, his massive form could seemingly take over the king sized bed. Arms and legs splayed outward, she'd often tuck her body against his in order to find a comfortable place to sleep and avoid the inevitable movement of his legs and arms. This morning, her nervous energy couldn't keep her in bed and she longed to go for a run to clear her mind. The weather outside looked awful. Sleet was coming down making the early morning light seem darker than it should given the hour. Despite the gloom, for once, Lizzy thought the grim December morning might actually be to her benefit. It would take some very hardy reporters, photographers and protesters to stand outside her classroom building in this weather. Even more, she could wrap herself up sufficiently such that no one would be able to discern her from all of the other students entering the building. 'Yes, there's a silver lining in every cloud.' The thought brightened her outlook up a bit and she decided she deserved a bubble bath. She could certainly review her notes in the bathtub as easily as she could at the dining room table.
William woke to the sound of humming coming from the bathroom. A smile broke across his face at the thought of Lizzy puttering around their home. For all of its challenges, this week had actually been one of the best of his life. The two arguments with Lizzy notwithstanding, she'd brought more life and love into his days than anyone had done since his mother had been alive. And that had been entirely different - good - but different. Propping himself up in bed, he decided to give her some space this morning. Grabbing his iPad, he quickly scanned the news and checked his email. There was one from Charlie and while he dreaded opening it, knew the contact was inevitable.
Lizzy opened the bathroom door to find William reading something, a scowl on his face. "I hope that look on your face isn't directed at me."
"Huh?" William asked, looking up from the screen.
"That frown on your face, what's wrong?" She asked.
"Oh, uh, Charlie wants to come by, to talk. I mean, I know why he wants to but, to be honest, I was hoping for one day free of all this stuff," William sighed.
Lizzy came to sit beside him, taking his hand in hers. "I know what you mean but you and he will probably have an easier weekend if you just get the conversation over with."
"You're right. I'll email him back and ask him to come over at 10:30. What time will your exam end?"
"I think I'll be done around 1:00. Maybe you could meet me on Quincy Street right outside of Emerson?"
"Perfect. I'll have the car loaded up for our drive. We can grab a bite on the way up to tie us over until we get to Maine."
"Oh, I made some turkey sandwiches this morning. They're in a bag in the refrigerator with apples and water. Can you grab them when before you leave?"
William laughed, "Did you sleep last night? What time did you get up this morning by the way?"
She answered, unaware of his incredulity, "6:30 I think. I made a pot of coffee that should still be warm. I'm going to finish getting ready and I'll throw a few things in a bag for the weekend. I imagine we're not going out and so I'll only need clothes for hanging out?"
"Pack some warm things too. We might go hiking, ice skating, or maybe I'll even convince you to try out skiing at the town ski hill."
"We'll see. I'm definitely up for the first two activities. I'm not sure this is the weekend to try out a new sport. I wouldn't want to add a broken leg to my list of concerns next week."
"Fair enough, although I doubt you could get enough speed to do much damage to anything on the ski hill in town. It's where Georgie and I both first learned to ski. I'm definitely going to get you up there sooner rather than later."
Lizzy left William to get himself ready while she pulled together a few things for their weekend in Maine. Surveying her collection of lingerie, she decided to slip an emerald green silk ensemble into her bag. She'd decided to put her fears from last night behind her and move forward. Pushing their relationship forward was one thing she could control. The rest of her packing went quickly and she left her bag by the front door. Time flew and it was 9:30 before she knew it. Lizzy began the process of wrapping herself up in her coat, scarf, mittens and hat to brave the winter weather. "Where do you think you're going young lady?" William asked the bundled mass of a girl.
"Why to my exam, dear husband. In case you don't remember, I have one of those today," she responded, pulling down her scarf to give him a quick kiss. "Wish me luck."
"I'm driving you. You'll be a frozen mess if you walk there in this weather and in no condition to sit in a three-hour exam."
She appreciated how protective he'd become but was more than capable of getting herself to her exam. She wasn't going to let him baby her. "Thank you but I actually need the walk to clear my head. I'll be calmer if I have a little bit of exercise to settle me down before I get there. The weather's never bothered me in the past, and it won't now. I'll see you at 1:00. Good luck with Charlie. I expect a full report on the drive up." With that, she gave him one more kiss and exited out of the condo before he'd even gotten his shoes on.
Opening the door, William called out, "Text me?"
"Will do worrywart," She answered before blowing him a kiss and stepping into the elevator.
William stood there shaking his head. She was a stubborn one and he was slowly realizing that support of her was very different than trying to control everything she did. Having experienced her stubborn streak more than once this week he was quickly learning to give in when she got that determined look in her eye. He remembered his uncle's words last weekend, "You'll soon learn to pick your battles son. You've got to give her a say. Remember, a happy wife is a happy life." Well, he was trying.
The next hour was spent packing up the car for their trip up. At 9:52 he received a text.
ED: Hey W3, safe and sound with my sharpened pencils. CU L8R.
'What's W3?' William figured it was some new nickname she'd concocted and he'd have to ask her. Focusing on his packing, he really only needed his books and notes for studying. Nevertheless, it seemed to take him long enough to organize himself and 10:30 rolled around soon enough. Charlie was actually prompt for once in his life.
"Hey Will," he greeted his best friend softly. He'd spent the entire night and morning thinking about what he'd say in an attempt to make amends. He was mortified by what his sister had done and he couldn't think of how to make it up to him - but he'd try.
"Charlie. Thanks for coming by. Especially in this weather. It looks awful out there," 'How'd he get to a point where he was chatting about the weather with Charlie?' William wondered. "Can I get you a cup of coffee or some tea?"
"Thanks. I'll have some coffee. I didn't sleep much last night and at some point it'll hit me. When it does I'll probably fall right over." Charlie said, attempting humor but the jest fell completely flat. Will poured them each a fresh cup and they made their way to the living room.
Charlie slumped down, running his hands through his hair. The pair stared at their respective mugs for several minutes before Charlie finally got the courage to begin speaking, "Will, I get if you never want to see or hear from another Bingley so long as you live. You've told me for years that my sister was trouble and I ignored your requests to keep her away. I'm horrified by what my sister did. I don't know what she was thinking. Yesterday afternoon, I called my parents and told them everything. They wanted me to personally express their apologies. If you'd see them, they're planning to drive up today to deal with Caroline. They'd like to come over this weekend to apologize to both you and Lizzy."
William was surprised by the slumped demeanor and seriousness in Charlie's voice. Distraught and Charlie where two thoughts that never went together and it was quite a sight to see his normally chipper friend so miserable. "Charlie, I appreciate the sentiments and your sincerity in delivering them but Lizzy and I won't be able to meet with your parents this weekend."
Charlie jumped up, almost knocking his coffee over as he got to his feet. "Oh. I see," he paused, "Of course, I understand. I really should be going. I uh, I won't take up your time."
William was taken aback, 'Why were people always running off?' "Wait. Charlie, slow down. Where are you going?"
Turning around he looked mournfully at Will, "You've been gracious enough with your time. Really, you've been more than a good friend tolerating me and my family all these years. I won't bother you anymore." Charlie was trying to get himself towards the door but, when troubled, he seemed to have difficulty talking and walking at the same time.
William was torn between confusion, laughter and sympathy for his friend. He was worried Charlie was actually going to walk into a wall given how flustered he seemed. He called to him but it didn't seem he was getting through. Finally he yelled, "Charlie! Sit down!"
Charlie stopped and dropped into a nearby chair. William grabbed a dining room chair and sat down across from him. "Now Charlie, do not speak, or move until I've finished." Slowly and calmly William began speaking again, looking directly into Charlie's eyes to ensure his understanding. "Lizzy and I are going away this weekend. As much as I'd be happy to see your parents, we're not in town and won't stay in town simply to meet with them. Ok?"
"Oh, ok. So you're still willing to associate with me even after everything my sister has done?" Charlie asked timidly.
"I'm upset of course, but I certainly don't want to end our friendship. You're one of my best friends Charlie. I do have two very important requests. First, I never want to see or hear of your sister ever again. Second, I don't want a word of our lives shared with her. I know I'm asking a lot but I hope you understand that I don't trust Caroline and I don't want her to know anything about our lives. If you need to stand by your sister, or if you can't promise to keep our lives completely out of her knowing, it'll be hard to maintain our friendship. It's not what I want but I'll understand if you stand by her. She's your family."
Charlie looked as though a 100 pounds had been lifted off his shoulders, "Really? Are you serious?"
"When am I not serious Charlie?"
He laughed, "I'm not speaking to my sister and my parents told me they'd completely understand if I didn't speak to her for a year. To be honest, I think they don't like her very much right now. My parents are so embarrassed. They've already told her they're taking her new car and they've cancelled her graduation trip to Europe. She'll be working in the family business to earn every dollar she got from selling those pictures and the story to the newspapers. I think they're planning on having her give the money to Lizzy as payback."
William laughed too, "Don't give the money to Lizzy. She doesn't need it, but maybe they could have Caroline give it to an immigrant legal aid clinic or something."
Charlie's smile brightened, "That'd be brilliant. I'm going to suggest that to my parents." Turning serious again, he focused himself again, "Truly Will, I'm so sorry. I never thought my sister would ever do anything like this. Is Lizzy ok? I haven't seen her since I got here. Is she avoiding me?"
"Charlie, I don't think I can get used to this serious version of you. If this is the way my face always looks, I'm going to have to work on smiling more. And don't worry about Lizzy. It's been an incredibly hard week but she's hanging in there. Right now she's in the middle of a final exam and I'm picking her up at 1:00 to head out of town." William said, his own smile brightening his face as he thought about her.
"Where are you two going? Actually, don't tell me. I don't want the responsibility of knowing." Charlie answered. William understood. Charlie wasn't the guy you confided in but he was a great friend nonetheless.
"So married life is good?"
"Six days in and I definitely prefer it to any other alternative. I just wish the first week had gone a bit smoother." Noticing Charlie's wince, William quickly added, "It's not your fault Charlie. Others had a hand in making our lives difficult. I'm looking forward to getting away and for this semester ending."
"Have you spoken to Georgie?" Charlie asked.
"No. Richard took her phone away and I've called the campus a few times but haven't reached her. He'll be bringing a new phone over to Georgie this weekend that can only make and receive calls from a set of six pre-set numbers, all family. She'll hate it, but she won't be able to avoid me." William said with a sigh.
"I have to say I'm grateful my parents are around to deal with Caroline. I don't want to even look at her right now. I really am sorry about everything."
"I know. Look, enough. How are things with Jane going? Any progress?" William asked attempting to divert the conversation again.
Charlie lit up again, "She's incredible. She came over last night and listened to me as I stressed out over talking to you. Jane also made it clear that I needed to take some ownership of this situation and meet you asap. I want to be a better man for her. We'll see if it works."
"I'm glad. Hey, if I'm going to be on time to pick up Lizzy I need to get moving. Her birthday is Monday and I need to take care of somethings before we leave. I'll see you next week, ok?"
"Yea. Have a good weekend and give Lizzy my best."
"Will do." He walked Charlie out the door, glad to have cleared the air with his friend.
The twenty minute power walk through the sleet and rain was exactly what Lizzy needed to clear her mind. Walking up to classroom building, Lizzy ran up the stairs and ducked into the bathroom. The handicapped stall was open and she popped in there, closing the door behind her. 9:51. Well, nine minutes until her exam began. Unbundling herself she tucked away her hat, mittens and scarf into her backpack. She pulled out her phone to dash off a text to her worrywart husband. W cubed, was her shorthand or W3, shorthand for WorryWart William. Chuckling to herself she thought about the superhero nicknames her papa had for each of them as kids. She'd been "Madam Megaphone" because apparently as a young girl she'd been quite the chatterbox. Now she had William's nickname. It seemed to fit.
Looking at her watch again she still had six minutes until her exam. She felt ridiculous hiding in the bathroom. Really what was she hiding from? And why? She'd done nothing wrong so why act like it. Lizzy resolved she would walk into her classroom, head held high. There was nothing and no one to be afraid of, right? Slowly she pulled open the door to the bathroom stall and made her way out into the hall. Her classroom was directly across the hall and no one seemed to be lingering outside. Walking through the classroom door, she quickly scanned the room for an open seat finding one towards the front. A number of heads turned as she walked towards her destination and Lizzy wondered if any of her classmates would actually approach her. Once she set her things down she felt a tug on her arm.
"Lizzy? Is it true? Are you here illegally? Did you marry to get your green card?"
She turned around to see Jeremy Goulding, one of her fellow Crimson writers standing next to her. Lizzy took a deep breath and with a brilliant smile began, "Great to see you too Jeremy. Are you ready for this exam?"
"Lizzy, you're not going to dodge me that easily. We've known each other for two and a half years now. What's going on?"
Lizzy rolled her eyes, "Do you really think that super hot, super rich William Darcy would marry me just to help me get a green card? Half of HLS would probably marry him - and I'm not just talking about the half that are women."
Jeremy laughed, "You're probably right. Never trust the press."
"I'm sorry to break up this little tete-e-tete but we do have an exam to take. Mr. Goulding? Ms. Benetez, I mean Mrs. Darcy, can we please sit down?" Their professor stared them down and the conversation ended.
Lizzy quickly settled herself into her seat and opened her exam. The next three hours flew by and it was soon time to hand in her essays. She hadn't looked up once. History of Economic Thought was one of her favorite classes and she was glad to throw herself into the bouillonist vs. anti-bouillonist argument in Britain for the past few hours; all thought of marriage and immigration out of her mind. Lizzy handed in her essay book and packed up her belongings. With coat and hat on, she exited the classroom to find three of her classmates waiting for her. A smile on her face she greeted them individually, "Jeremy, Jenny, Clare, so what'd ya think of the exam?"
"Lizzy, our conversation was interrupted before. What's going on?" Jeremy pressed.
"Why do you want to know?" Lizzy asked, a bit defensively.
"We've been friends since freshman year. What's going on? We just want to know the truth, not the half truths floating around. It's not helping you and we want to help."
"I'll give you the short story but I do need to head out as William's waiting for me outside. So quickly...yes, I'm married to William Darcy. We met before I found out my immigration status and got married a week ago. Yes, I'm here in the US under an expired visa. I discovered my immigration status in November when my papa told me. I had no idea before. Yes, I've applied for a green card. My marriage to William helped although I'd already been working on a way to normalize my status before he proposed. Marrying an American does make it easier but it's not the sole reason for our marriage. As I said before, William could've literally married anyone probably, fortunately for me, he loves me. I'm thinking about writing an op-ed in the Crimson to at least clear up things in the community. I've done nothing wrong and don't want people to have the wrong idea about me." Lizzy looked at each one of her friends.
They all were silent for a moment when Jeremy spoke, "I think the op-ed is an excellent idea. I couldn't believe some of the things people were saying about you Lizzy. I wanted to stand up for you but didn't know what to say. Now I know the facts."
Lizzy didn't want to think about what others might be saying or thinking. She hugged Jeremy and thanked her friends for caring. Swinging her backpack over her shoulder she quickly walked out to Quincy Street. Spying the black Escalade parked on the side of the street, hazard lights flashing, she sprinted to the car.
"Hello love," William greeted her.
Giving him a quick kiss, Lizzy exclaimed, "Let's get outta here. I need an escape."
We're off to a weekend in Maine. Lots of one-on-one time that I'm looking forward to...
Thoughts? reactions? Disappointments? I wanna hear em...