The months following my first—and so far, only—mission flew by without the worry of Aro's expectations weighing me down. For the first time I allowed myself the leisure to explore the cultural treasures contained within the castle. I had been to the library a few times, savoring some old favorites almost as if they were a security blanket and to finish them would mean losing that comfort, but I had never attempted to wander the galleries containing the Volturi's vast art collections, and even in reading I found myself less than adventurous until I no longer felt the older vampires breathing down my neck.

In fact, when I wasn't training with Felix and Demetri, which was as often as the weather allowed, I was completely ignored. I wasn't sure what to do with my free time, never having had much as a human child what with needing to take care of my mom and myself. I fell into brooding over my situation at first, but it's not in my nature to be upset for long periods of time. Thus began my exploration of Volterra, a way to distract myself from the loneliness and sadness that threatened to engulf me.

On day while I was wandering through the gallery, this time examining the priceless Ming vases displayed on low pillars along the walls, Renata appeared beside me. I heard her approach, but it didn't occur to me that she would care to stop and talk. We hadn't said a word toe ach other since the day she insisted I would never prove to be a strong shield. I didn't deliberately avoid her, but I also didn't go out of my way to find her.

Renata appeared as serious and calm as always on the surface, but I thought I detected an undercurrent of tension in her dark red eyes. I dismissed it as being too close to feeding day. Heidi was due back from a "fishing" expedition in a few days, having gone down to Rome to pull from the never-ending round of tourists there.

"The Masters request your presence, Isabella."

Deja vu hit me for a moment, but I didn't bother asking questions. I simply turned on my heel and headed for the throne room. As I went, I wondered if there was another mission in my immediate future.

Unlike the last time, the entire Volturi guard currently in the caste was gathered in the throne room as I entered. It wasn't what I expected, but I didn't let that distract me. A path was cleared in the small crowd that led to the Masters' thrones, so I swept forward and paused at the edge of the dais, eyes on the three sets of feet before me.

"Yes, Masters?" I tried to keep any hint of curiosity out of my voice, but I knew I failed.

"Isabella, dear girl, my brothers and I have come to a decision regarding your status here."

I lifted my eyes to stare at Aro in confusion. My status? What did he mean by that? I was a Volturi guard-in-training, at least until my newborn year was over. That was a few short days away, but I hadn't considered that I would be given much of a choice one way or another. Had they decided to elevate me to full guard status already?

"It is customary to request that a guard join us, but you were given no option due to your unusual circumstances—rarely do we nurture a newborn as we have you as the average newborn requires much care and oversight. My brother," and Aro's eyes flickered to Marcus in irritation for a moment before returning to mine, "has rightly pointed out that you have proven your control over yourself in this past year, and he believes that you should be offered the same choice available to any mature vampire at this time. Will you join the Volturi, or will you go in peace to make your own way in the world?"

I gawked at first Aro, then Caius and finally Marcus. I could leave. They were offering to let me leave. Could I really? What of my human family?

"My parents?" I asked, knowing that Aro would understand.

"If you choose to leave, your parents will remain unharmed by us so long as you have no contact with them. They believe their daughter is dead, and your current appearance would raise too many questions," Aro advised me, disappointment evident in his eyes.

"Thank you." I paused, momentarily unsure how to continue. "May I take some clothing with me?" I made my intentions clear without having to voice my choice.

Aro slowly nodded. "Of course, child. All but…" He looked pointedly at my shoulder.

Oh. The cloak. I reached up, suddenly hesitant to part with the symbol of my time in Volterra. My fingers worked at the V-shaped cloak clasp, and then Renata pulled the wool carefully from my shoulders, draping it over one arm. I felt slightly exposed in my black slacks and blue short-sleeved blouse, but I kept my head high as I looked at Aro.

"Thank you, for everything," I whispered, hoping that he would believe me to be appreciative of the life I now led.

"You're welcome, Isabella. Please remember that we would be overjoyed should you change your mind and decide to return to us." Aro produced a thin smile that failed to reach his eyes.

I nodded with a slight upturn of my own lips and turned to leave. The same path opened before me, this time leading to the door. The guards mostly regarded me in confusion or contempt. They were all content with their lives, as far as I could tell. I was sure none of them shared my doubts about being a vampire, a plague on humanity.

Renata followed me in a weird parallel to my first visit to the throne room. Thinking that maybe Aro had given her a sign to follow me once my back was turned, I ignored her as best I could. Returning to my room took almost no time. It did unnerve me that Renata followed me in and shut the door behind her. Finally I acknowledged her presence, turning to look her in the eye.

Before I could speak, she lifted a finger to her lips. "Isabella, I have done my best for you." I started to protest her barely whispered words, but again she interrupted. "From the beginning, I knew that you despised this life of ours. You remained strong, but I knew that you tolerated the blood drinking instead of relishing it as most do. There have been others before who hated themselves for what we must do to survive, and I fear that in time you will descend into madness the way that almost all of them did. I believed your only option was to leave Volterra."

"Why?" I kept my own voice scarcely audible, even to a vampire's ears, as I worked to process what she was saying and what it revealed about her actions.

"There exists a vampire who is able to survive on the blood of lesser animals, much the way humans consume the meat. Master Aro does not like us to speak of it, and all Volturi are forbidden from practicing what he considers to be a deviance from our nature. This vampire visited us for a time centuries ago, and Aro considers him a friend, but he will not agree that animal blood is an acceptable substitute despite the evidence of his own eyes."

I absorbed this information greedily. I could understand why she hadn't told me before, although I deeply mourned the unnecessary deaths I caused. If I had known there was an option, I might have insisted on trying until Aro became enraged. There would have been no friendly, if reluctant, parting. My parents' lives might have still been in danger in order to gain my compliance.

Renata's actions in belittling my shield took on a new light. Aro was no longer intrigued by my potential. He wouldn't go to any lengths to keep me against my will. Renata made my freedom to try this alternative possible! But how? Didn't Aro read her thoughts as often as he read those of the others? I always saw him taking the hand of one guard or another, as if he needed to constantly refresh his watch on their thoughts.

My confusion must have showed, and she interpreted it correctly. "My shield is mental, like yours, but it functions differently in that I push away those who seek to get too close. It is why Aro values me. He has never learned that I am sometimes able to push away his own gift, at least to an extent, to hide what I must. I am, perhaps, the only being in the world besides yourself capable of keeping a secret from him. I also know how to maneuver around his gift. I mentioned bits and pieces of my observations to Marcus, just enough to make him think that you wouldn't wish to stay with us indefinitely. This prompted him to remember the old rule, and of course Aro read it in his thoughts and acted upon it. He tries to maintain the illusion that the brothers all work together, although sometimes I believe Marcus to be little more than a figurehead."

That revelation left me blindsided. Of course I noticed how quiet and sorrowful Marcus was, but I never considered him to be less than his Volturi brothers. My expansive mind wanted to follow that path, and I let it as I continued my nearly silent conversation with Renata. "Is the vampire you spoke of still alive? The one who consumes animal blood?" I would try on my own, of that I had no doubt, but it would be nice to know I wasn't the only one.

Renata shrugged. "I am not sure. The last I knew, he was planning to head west. He may have stopped in his native England, or he may have gone on to one of the British colonies. As I said, this was centuries ago."

I stifled my disappointment. Colonies. History wasn't my favorite class, but my increasingly blurry human memories told me that England once had dozens of colonies. Which one would this unknown vampire have sought? Could he still be in England? Still, what else was I going to do with my never-ending life other than somehow keep an eye on my parents until their deaths? I could add searching for an elusive, maybe-still-alive vampire to my to-do list.

"What is his name?" Is. Not "was". I would continue to believe that he was alive until someone could confirm otherwise.

"Carlisle Cullen. He was a friendly man. You should be able to find others who knew him." Renata hesitated, then pulled something from her pocket. "And here. You will need this if you are going to search for him."

I reluctantly took two thin plastic cards from her. One was an American driver's license with the picture of a woman who looked a lot like me, a 1986 birthday, and the name "Isabel Smith." The other was a silver credit card with the same name printed on it. These two cards confirmed my suspicion that she had planned this for months. I was no expert, but forgery couldn't be a quick process, at least not ones this good.

"The card has a ten thousand dollar limit, in American dollars, prepaid. That should cover any travel expenses and clothes that you might need to fit in." Renata smiled, a shy yet proud look in her eyes. "Be careful out there. Practice what you were taught. I know that you will do well."

I felt a little as if she was my mother sending me on my first day of school. I reached out and squeezed her hand in thanks. Then, uncomfortable showing even that small amount of emotion, I whipped around and started quickly packing the black duffel bag I found at the bottom of my closet months ago. Black slacks, dark wash jeans, four short-sleeved blouses, four pairs of socks and four sets of underwear filled the empty space almost to the brim. I was already wearing soft black leather loafers, so I didn't necessarily need shoes, but if I traveled over rough terrain on foot I might need something that wouldn't fall apart. With that in mind, I grabbed my black leather hiking boots and tucked them into the remaining space. I tossed a hairbrush on top, aware that I would need to look presentable if I traveled among humans. I shrugged on the black leather jacket hanging in the closet, knowing I wouldn't actually need it but needing to look the part of prepared tourist. I slipped the pair of sunglasses resting on a shelf over my eyes. The driver's license and credit card went into a pocket on the side of the bag.

Turning to Renata once more, I nodded and said at a normal volume, "Thank you for everything as well, Renata." This time I meant the words.

"Of course, Isabella. Safe journeys." She opened the door and was gone.

I stood alone in my room for several seconds, unsure what to do from there. At seventeen years old I was supposed to be worrying about finishing high school and deciding which college I wanted to go to, not setting out on my own to wander around the world for eternity. Where should I start?

The memory of my mother's smile that day in Jacksonville flashed in my mind, and I knew what I had to do. I strolled out of the room that was once my own and down the hall as if I didn't have a care in the world. It was only eight o'clock in the evening. I had time to run to the closest city and find a hotel to stay in throughout the daytime sunlight.

A destination in mind from my studies in the castle's library, I left quietly and with no fanfare. Florence was an hour's run away, and I spent most of the time parallel to the highway and holding my breath. I had no reason to breathe and knew it would be safer for the humans around me if I didn't. The occasional passing car, occupants laughing or arguing or staring sleepily out into the night, were the only challenges I faced until I reached the outskirts of the city.

When I arrived in Florence, I found a decent hotel in the tourist section—easy to find due to the number of Americans wandering around—and requested a room for two nights. The drowsy clerk, blood moving sluggishly in his veins making my throat burn slightly in my hunger, took in my sunglasses and my American accent, shrugged, and handed me a key, a thick old-fashioned metal one with curling loops on one end. I thanked him and searched out my room. It was small with well-worn but clean furniture and a small bathroom. After I secured my bag I snuck back out to the small forest I encountered to the north of the city. It was time to try out Renata's suggestion.

I had never hunted to feed before, although I assumed when humans were involved it wouldn't be very difficult. There were always humans who could be relied upon to help or take advantage of a stranger, which I'd heard from the others was the best approach. Lure them away from populated areas, especially if you're small, young-looking, and, best of all, female.

I imagined hunting animals would be a different situation altogether. Animals avoid vampires. They are more trusting of their instincts and recognize a predator that should be avoided. I knew I would have to use all my senses to find a suitable creature, let alone sneak up on it. Thankfully my senses were so far above those of any mortal creature that it shouldn't prove impossible.

The hunt was easier than I anticipated. The worst part was differentiating between animal scent trails. I assumed that the strongest trails indicated larger animals, which seemed my best bet to get enough blood to satisfy my hunger. However, there were so many to choose from that it was difficult to decide. Finally, after a full minute of internal debate, I found a trail that smelled promising and began to follow.

Taking down that bear was the most interesting and disturbing sensation I'd experienced in my short immortal life. I kept quiet as I crept up, unsure what I was facing. The large, furry body in the clearing two hundred feet away would have been intimidating, even frightening, when I was human. Now I felt what passed for adrenaline pulse in my veins. The smell of the bear's blood wasn't quite enough to send me into a frenzy, but it was there, available for the taking. All I had to do was catch it. With that in mind, I was off.

The bear caught my scent one tenth of a second before my fingers were tangled in the fur of its back. It tried to run away, but by the time its brain sent the message to its limbs., I wrapped my arms around its torso. Even as the bear tried to claw at me, uselessly raking against the diamond-hard skin of my legs, I climbed up to reach its neck. The roar of rage became one of pain as I sank my teeth through fur to flesh.

The taste of the bear's blood was not what I expected. Unlike human blood, with its rich bouquet of flavors, the animal's blood tasted stale, almost lifeless. The burn in my throat was only reduced, not quenched, by the thick liquid. Would I need to put up with the pain forever if I chose to stay on this path?

This thought echoed in my mind as the bear's bloodless body dropped from my grasp. It was followed by another.

Could I sacrifice myself daily in that way so that others—humans—had a chance at a full life?

And another.

Wasn't that worth some discomfort to myself, no matter how constant?

The burn was never fully gone for long, after all. I would always need more blood. No matter how…unusual the animals tasted, it had to be better than killing humans.

My resolve firmed, I set about disposing of the carcass as I had been taught, figuring that what worked for humans would work for animals. It was easier than the human disposal I'd been lectured on, in fact. There were no identifying pieces of plastic or clothing to remove and burn, no face that needed to be bruised and battered to look like a human attacked them. I just buried the animal, careful to move piles of dead leaves out of my way and replace them once I filled in the hole, pushing the mound of dirt down in several spots with a foot to make it look more natural.

There wasn't much I could do about my shredded pants or messed up hair. I could only return as quickly as possible to the hotel room, moving too fast for the human eye to see. Once more locked securely in my room, I stripped off my ruined pants and pulled on a spare pair of jeans instead. Then I went to the mirror to straighten my hair. As I lifted the brush, I saw my reflection and froze.

They were so beautiful. A deep, vibrant orange unlike the ruby red I had become accustomed to, caused by golden filaments of color among the darker shade. I could lose myself in the change, in the peace it brought me. Was this a visible sign of my new diet? If it was, I would take it. I had never been happier about a change in my appearance, not even as I slowly grew out of the awkward adolescent phase of my early teens shortly before my transformation.

With new courage blossoming at the potential my future held, I began to plan how I would search out this Carlisle Cullen, perhaps even how I would return to America, and what I would do once I was there.

I hope this has reassured those of you unhappy with Renata's behavior in the previous chapters. She really did have Bella's best interests at heart. And how do you like my little lead-in to Bella's introduction to the vegetarian diet. Anyone wonder what might happen next?

Well, I certainly know, but I do have a question to pose to my readers. I already have the next three chapters written, in the process of being edited, and waiting to be posted during November when most of my attention will be on NaNoWriMo and my original novel. HOWEVER. There will be a major POV change. I'll let you guess who, but know that while Bella's story will continue, it's not all going to be about her anymore, so I thought some fresh perspective would be nice. Since I've already written the next chapters in the other POV but haven't posted them yet, I have some options that I'd love you to weigh in on. I could continue this story in Bella's POV, although with something of a pause in posting while I rewrite the upcoming chapters, and then I could post the other POV as an out-take story. OR I could just continue with my original plan. I know some people don't like POV changes, so I would love to hear your opinions on this before I go too much farther.