Rotom

Cast

Rotom, an Electric-Ghost Pokemon
Karen, a political telemarketer
Polly, a political telemarketer
Bob, a boss telemarketer
Adam, a pizzeria clerk
Tim, an ex-boyfriend

The call center was a rather bland workplace, filled with cubicles, computers, and phone headsets. With elections coming up quickly, the workers were busy trying to reach people to make last minute pushes for their preferred issues. Karen put in the next number on her list and waited through the ringing.

A clear and curious male voice answered. "Hello?"

Time for the spiel. She checked the reference script on the computer screen. "Hello, this is your friendly Jurisdian political party headquarters in Eterna City. We're calling to see if you received our recent postcard detailing our plan to turn Sinnoh in the right direction."

"Yes, he was a brave mailman."

That wasn't normal. "Pardon me?"

"He was a brave mailman," he repeated. "Most of the postal workers are terrified of the Houndoom at the front gate. He likes to collect underwear."

where was this number's address? Out in the deep woods somewhere? "Um, I see. Is this the head of household?"

"That depends on what your definition of head is."

Karen wasn't sure how to respond to that.

Then he chuckled. "I probably am."

"Good. Have you looked over the mailings and thought about the upcoming election?"

There was a pause. "I think someone ate it."

Karen kneaded her forehead. Why was she getting all the weirdos today? She went back to the prepared script. "What are your opinions about this election? The economy needs strengthening and we intend to work hard to address that issue while keeping all jobs secure and fair. Sinnoh doesn't need to turn into a pure tourist region and lose all of our core jobs."

"Huh..." he sounded thoughtful. "Well I think Pokemon battles should be outlawed on Mondays and Tuesdays."

That… that wasn't a political issue she was aware of. "Pokemon battles?"

He went on, apparently having thought it all out before. "It's only fair, really. Pokemon do all the work, but don't get a weekend like humans do. But your weekend of Saturdays and Sundays are packed with Gym battles, because that's when all the kids are off school. So battles should be outlawed on Mondays and Tuesdays to give Pokemon their own weekend of rest."

"It makes sense, but it's not an issue this year."

"Hmph, well it should be."

Okay, he was annoyed. It was bad to get a client annoyed. She changed the subject. "What else is important to you?"

He got excited. "Oh! My sexy new Pokegear 3.0!"

"I see..." Who described a Pokegear as sexy?

Her coworker Polly stoo dup and peered over the cubical wall. "What's up?"

Karen pushed back her headphone to avoid being overheard. "Pokemon League fan, a little obsessed I think."

Nodding, she said, "Ah... then mention the Gym Inspector bill."

Back on the line, the guy was prattling on about his new toy. "With this, I can access the Internet wirelessly, make phone calls, download all sorts of music, check out Gym battles, catch TV shows that I missed, play games, and all that comes with a touchscreen! Only, I have some problems with using the touch screen myself..."

Karen put her headphone back in place, hoping to regain control of the conversation. "Have you heard about our recent bill to...?"

And he promptly ignored the shift. "I like the phone part best. I always loved phones. What kind of phone are you using?"

"Um..." she checked a nearby pamphlet, "it's a Devon Graytooth Wireless Headset."

He sounded like a nerd with his telephone obsession. "Oooo, Graytooth. Can I check it out?"

"Sorry, it belongs to the party headquarters. So what are your plans for voting?"

"Voting?" he asked, confused.

Don't lose your temper, she reminded herself. "Yes, in the election next week."

"I can't vote," he said bluntly. "I'm a Pokemon."

"Oh... you're a Pokemon?"

"Duh. Humans don't live here. I'm Rotom."

"Then sorry about taking up your time, um, Mr. Pokemon. Goodbye." She cut off the call, wanting to scream in frustration. "Ugh, another low point to this week."

Polly, who was still watching from her cubicle, looked puzzled. "You reached a Pokemon?"

She nodded. "Geez, who does research around here? And who sells a Pokegear to a Pokemon?"

"Are you sure they weren't messing with you?"

Karen sighed. "It might have been. I'll put a note to not call that number again." She started to make that note when she heard her line making another call. "Hmm? Hey, did they put me on autodial?"

"That stinks," Polly said, sitting back down to check on her own line.

"Here we go again," Karen mumbled. Maybe this time she could actually get through the script.

Another man (hopefully an actual human) answered. "Good morning, you have reached Skarmory Pizzeria; we will deliver your pizzas hot and fresh within half an hour or it's free. How can we serve you?"

A pizzeria? Why was a pizzeria on her calling list? "Uh..."

And for some reason, the Rotom's voice broke in. "Hi there! Say, how many people are working in this office?"

How had he…? "I... I'm not suppose to release that information"

The pizza guy was just as confused. "M'am... sir?"

The Pokemon wasn't bothered. "Well, there's twenty-one phones. Can we order twenty-one large pizzas?"

Going along with it, the pizza guy said, "Certainly, which office is this?"

"We're not supposed to..." Karen tried to say.

Rotom interrupted again. "The Jurisdian party headquarters in Eterna City."

"Okay, and what kind of pizzas do you want?"

"Bob won't approve of this," Karen said.

"Whatever," Rotom brushed off. "Surprise us, will you? Oh, but make sure at least one has Luvdisc sardines. Mmmm, sardine pizza."

The pizzeria guy cheerfully said, "Great, so twenty random large pizzas and one Luvdisc sardine large pizza. Excellent choice."

Karen crossed her arms over her chest. "Who eats Luvdisc sardines on a pizza? That's disgusting."

"What are you talking about?" the pizza guy said, now annoyed.

"Well excuse me for being reincarnated from a sea predator," the Pokemon retorted. "At least, I think so."

And this got the pizza guy onto a rant. "Luvdisc sardines are underappreciated seafood delicacies and we make sure to only order the finest and best for our pizzas. They have a refined and sophisticated flavor that only the most discerning of tastes can love. I suppose your Jurisdian party can't appreciate such finery."

"I like them because they come in a cute little tin," Rotom said playfully.

"We aren't ordering pizzas," Karen insisted, her voice rising.

In the next cubicle, Polly commented, "Aw shoot. Pizza sounds good."

"Well you don't deserve a Skarmory brand pizza." The pizza guy hung up sharply.

"Smooth move," Rotom told Karen, despite the phone being not in use. "You made the pizza guy mad."

And I'm mad too, she thought spitefully. "What are you doing on this line, Pokemon?"

Rotom didn't take the hint. "Checking out your phone. Oh hey, what's this number?" The phone dialed again.

"Stop messing with my phone!" Karen shouted.

In response, she heard her ex-boyfriend say grumpily, "Are you trying to make up again?"

"Oh, Tim, sorry. This Pokemon is playing pranks on me."

"What kind of Pokemon messes with phones?" It seemed like he had either just gotten up or was having a bad day too.

Rotom merrily replied, "I love phones!"

Tim was quiet, then jealously said, "Hey, who's that guy? What's he doing on this line?"

Karen tried to explain the situation, "It's..."

However, Rotom chose the worst thing to say. "I'm hanging on her ear."

"You cold-hearted...!" Tim slammed the phone down, hanging up.

Karen clenched her fists. Where was that stupid Rotom? "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" he asked, seemingly clueless.

"Calling random people and making my day even worse than it started!"

"Karen…" Polly said, warning her that the others were starting to look their way.

Rotom didn't seem bothered. "I just want to know where those numbers go."

"And what else?" Karen seethed.

The Pokemon paused. "What else is there?"

At his act of innocence, she snapped. "Well I'll make sure you can't mess with me anymore!" She yanked off her headset and went over to a closet, where the building's generator was. Stopping that, she knew that the Pokemon would have no power to do anything.

One of her co-workers shouted, "Hey, I had someone willing to talk!" The others seemed confused or annoyed.

After a moment, their boss came out of his office. "What's going on in here? Why's the power out? We can't make any calls like this."

Karen turned to him. "There's this crazy Pokemon messing up my phone, Bob. I made sure it can't do anything now."

He flinched at the look she had. "Uh, right. Maybe you should take the rest of the day off."

"I'm not crazy!" Karen insisted. "It's..."

And then all of the phones in the office started ringing. With the power out, it was spooky. Polly jumped out of her chair. "Uh, do these have batteries?"

"No," Bob replied.

Karen covered her ears. "I'm not answering that, I'm not answering that..."

as the boss of the call center, Bob decided he had to do something. He went to one of the phone units and pushed the loudspeaker button. "who is this?"

Rotom replied. "Hello. Where's that woman that called me?"

"How are you calling?" the boss asked. "The network's down."

After a sigh, the Pokemon said, "Because I'm in your network, silly billy. Now where is she?"

Everyone looked to Karen. She had her eyes closed and was mumbling to herself. Instead, Polly spoke up, " She doesn't want to talk right now."

Strangely enough, Rotom sounded sad and disappointed. "She doesn't? Does she not like me?"

"Um, she's been having a bad day."

"But I was just having some fun. She really doesn't like me?"

"You're terrible!" Karen shouted.

"B-but nobody ever calls me." The Pokemon sniffled, like he was crying. " I've got this sexy new Pokegear and nobody ever called me until you did. No other Pokemon in the Chateau appreciates technology... I just wanted to talk to someone who appreciates phones like I do. I thought that since you worked with phones, you must love them too..."

Karen tried to keep mad. "Well I wasn't expecting to call some Psychic Pokemon."

That seemed to have insulted Rotom. "I'm an Electric Ghost, not Psychic. Can you at least hook me back up to my Pokegear? It's my new home and is way more comfortable than your stupid Devon Graytooth..." he sniffled again.

At that, she gave up. "Okay, fine." As she was still by the generator closet, she started the power back up. "There you go, call your Pokegear."

"If I could vote, I wouldn't be voting for your mean party." The line then clicked and Rotom seemed to be gone.

"That was a little harsh, wasn't it?" Polly pointed out.

Karen looked away. "It's not like I'll ever talk to that crazy Pokemon again, right?"

The End

(Or Is It?)

Rotom: I'm in ur washing machine, washing ur clothes.

Karen: (shrieks)

…

Rotom Diamond/Pearl entry: Its body is composed of plasma. It is known to infiltrate electronic devices and wreak havoc.

This was originally posted for Halloween of 2008, in a script format. But since that isn't acceptable here, I altered it to a somewhat more standard format. Since this was when Platinum wasn't yet released, it was a huge deal when news on Rotom's different forms came out. My immediate thoughts were Rotom's last line and how I would have had Rotom possess a telephone myself.