Chapter Eight
"Nat? You busy?" Steve poked his head in her room. She was in the middle of finalizing her monthly report on Wanda's performance progress. Looking up, she gestured for him to come in.
"Five minutes," she replied, turning her attention back on her notebook and Steve stepped in. "What's up, Rogers?"
Instead of answering, he slid into the space beside her on the couch and stole a look at her report.
"I'm worried about Wanda," he finally spoke out, with a sigh.
Natasha frowned but kept her focus on her report.
"Nat!" he called out, his shoulder playfully hitting hers. "Are you even listening?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I heard "worried" and automatically assumes that that is a common ailment among the elderly," she cracked, smirking up at him. He turned to her with a frown but his eyes crinkled with humour.
"Great, more old jokes," he retorted, but his mouth shaped into an affectionate smile.
"On the contrary," Natasha said, her eyes turning back to her screen, "I would never make fun of my elders," she quipped, flashing him an angelic smile that widened when he rolled his eyes.
"Seriously, Nat," he insisted after a moment of silence, "About Wanda."
With a sigh, Natasha placed her hand to close her laptop and turned her full attention on him. "Okay, fine, you have my attention. What about Wanda?"
"I just… I mean, all she does all day is train," Steve said, folding his arms and leaning his head against the back of the couch.
"Exactly why I'm putting an 'Excellent' on this here box that says ' motivation'," Natasha replied, gesturing to the report she was in the middle of doing on her laptop.
Steve shrugged and was silent for a moment. "But that's not exactly normal for a teenage girl, right?" he asked, turning his head to look at her.
"Asking the wrong girl, Cap," Natasha said, not unkindly, alluding to her own less than stellar experience. Her own adolescence had been all about being groomed to become the Black Widow.
He gave a start as if remembering that Natasha's past was never all sunshine and rainbows either. Uncomfortable by the sudden intimacy brought on by her mention of her past, she turned away and turned her attention to her hands instead.
"All the more reason to make sure that Wanda gets a different, happier upbringing, don't you think?" he asked, softly.
Natasha laughed, drily. "You make us sound like her parents, Steve," she said, amused.
Steve chuckled, but his cheeks flushed. After a moment, he said with a shrug, "Who else does she have?"
She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm not exactly the stuff good mothers are made of, Cap," she said, bitingly.
He held her eyes and once again touched her shoulder with his. "I think you do okay so far. Wanda looks up to you. Even made a joke about me and my old age the other day. Must have picked it up from someone."
"If you're recalling that day she called you 'old man' after you referred to her music as random noise, that's just you asking for it," she retorted drily, and smiled when his shoulders shook in concealed laughter. Their eyes met and held again in shared memory.
"Okay, fine," Natasha, said, finally to break the once again easy silence that fell between them. "I'm sure you already have something in mind, am I right?"
He nodded his eyes and grinned, proudly. "Nat, come on. I'm always the man with a plan."
And that was how Natasha found herself tightening the laces on her bowling shoes two nights later. Of course Steve Rogers's plan would involve some outdated form of social outing, she thought with fond resignation. Looking over her shoulder, she spied him excitedly making swinging hands gesture to Vision who, bless his heart, is actually paying rapt attention.
"This is not your idea, is it?" Wanda said with a sigh as she sat down beside Natasha, her eyes eyeing the bowling pins with a mixture of distaste and trepidation.
"What gave it away?" Natasha asked with a wicked smile.
Wanda laughed and shook her head. "You didn't have to do this. I am sure you have more important things to do than play a silly game of bowling," she continued, looking down at her feet.
Natasha turned to look at the girl. "Hey," she said, and waited for Wanda to meet her eyes," the time I think of us simply as a team has long past." She shrugged, turning to look at the three men only to find Steve looking at her with a grateful smile on his face. "We're a family, Wanda," she said, firmly turning back to the girl. "And this is what families do…- right?" Natasha grimaced and pretended to make a face and Wanda burst out laughing.
Two games later, Natasha was surprised to find herself actually enjoying the outing. She watched in amusement as Wanda playfully pushed against Vision just as he was in the act of throwing the ball. Sam hooted and exchanged high fives with Wanda as Vision looked on in dismay at his gutter-ball. Natasha laughed as Wanda flashed her a mischievous grin. She shook her head, grinning back, but then realized that Steve was nowhere around. Searching around the crowded alley, she finally caught sight of him, waiting in line at the refreshment stand. Looking at him more closely, she noticed the flush spreading up his neck and looked around for the reason for his discomfort. She let out a chuckle as she spot a group of women seated at a nearby table sending appreciative looks in Steve's directions. Natasha could hardly blame them. The man was practically a walking sex advertisement with those tight, rippling muscles barely contained by his grey t-shirt and Levi's jeans.
Her good humour faded as one of them, a blonde, stood up and walked predatorily in Steve's direction. Frowning, she watched as the woman struck up a conversation with him. Steve, on the other hand, appeared flustered as she started giggling and looking up at him suggestively. A niggling sense of anger flared up inside Natasha at the forwardness of the blonde and how uncomfortable she was making Steve. Making up her mind to intercede, she stood up and headed in their direction.
"Hey," she murmured, flirtatiously as she snaked her arm around his waist. To his credit, Steve outwardly refrained from showing signs that he was taken by surprise though she felt his body tightened at her touch. "I was looking for you," she purred, flashing him an intimate look, ignoring the other woman completely. His face as he looked down at her showed no indication of his feelings but the twinkling in his blue eyes told her that he was amused by the show she was putting on.
"Is she your girlfriend?" the blonde woman asked, a note of dismay not so hidden in her voice.
Natasha pretended to only then realized the presence of the other woman. "Oh, who's this, malysh?" she asked in syrupy voice, her head tilting to one side as she looked at the blonde.
Steve cleared his throat, hiding an amused grin, replying, "Nat, this is Dianne. She's a journalist. She wanted an interview with the Captain America."
"I'm sure she does," Natasha murmured, flashing a calculatingly fake sweet smile at the blonde. She then turned beseeching eyes to Steve. "Not tonight, right, sweetie?"
"Er,.." Steve stuttered, awkwardly and Natasha resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Steve's inability to be impolite.
-"Oh my god, Captain America is dating the Black Widow?" the blonde exclaimed, suddenly and Natasha flinched inwardly. All her life she has taken comfort in anonymity, never staying the same person for very long. Events in Washington had robbed her of this security and she was still struggling to get used to being recognized.
Before Steve and her could even reply, the woman quickly rushed away, the novelty of being the first to tell her friends this juicy piece of gossip speeding her departure.
"Wow, I'd say you've had a close shave but it's almost insulting how quickly she lost interest," Natasha retorted, drily, as she slid her hand away from Steve and moved a step away.
Steve eyed her, gingerly. "Shouldn't you be more concerned that there'll be rumours about you and me all over the internet?" he asked.
Natasha burst out laughing, though not wholly from amusement. "No one is going to believe that for a second, Cap."
His eyes turned to look at his feet and Natasha could see a frown forming. After a short silence, he turned to look at her and asked, quietly, "Why not?"
Had Natasha been less in control of her emotions, she would have flushed at the question and the intense way in which it was delivered. Instead she pretended a lightness that she didn't really feel and shrugged. "In what universe is a trained killer a suitable mate for Captain America?"
At her words, his eyes snapped to her face and her breath faltered at the growing furiousness there in the blue orbs. He looked at her almost in disbelief. "You are not an evil person, Nat," he snapped, in a voice that bode no argument.
"I have done things in my past that if you knew about would have made you look at me differently, Steve," she replied, matter-of-factly.
"Nat, the first thing Fury did when he recruited me to the Avengers Initiative was to give me everyone's files to read. I know what you've done in the past. More importantly, I know what was done to you to make you do those things," he said firmly, eyes never leaving hers. "And, Nat? There's nothing you could do that would make me look at you different," he finished.
Natasha was speechless, not ever having been the recipient of such intense loyalty. All she could make out in response was a breathless, "Oh, yeah?" And suddenly Natasha became aware of how closely they were standing. And from the darkening in his eyes, she sensed his awareness too. Their eyes locked and she felt him moving even closer, so close that if she were to raise her head, her lips would have touched his. The sudden realization that she wanted to do precisely this caused her heart to pound and her brows puckered in confusion. Seeing this, Steve slowly brought a hand to smooth the lines and the gentle touch of his hand on her skin brought a pool of heat to settle in her body. His head lowered and she closed her eyes in unconscious response, waiting for the touch of his lips on hers.
- "You're going down, Rogers! Two strikes in a row! I'm so the man!" Sam's loud voice broke the spell and Natasha's eyes opened instantly to see an oblivious Sam boisterously making some dance moves in celebration.
Natasha took a shaky breath and cursed herself for her rashness. Kissing Steve Rogers was never something she planned to do. With other men, the act of kissing was probably the least significant things she could do. But kissing Steve would never be insignificant. He was already the person she started the day with, usually as she perched herself up on the kitchen table reading the news on her tablet as he make his special pancakes. He was already that person whose face she would turn to in shared amusement whenever Vision attempted his awkward courting of the oblivious Wanda, or whenever Thor's sometimes exaggerated ignorance of anything Midgard would lead to a tic forming on Tony's face, or during the numerous times Sam supposedly helpful suggestions that Clint pick up a more '21st century' weapon. He was already that person she usually ended her day with, sometimes going over reports or coming up with new strategies, or at times when things quiet down helping Steve update his grasp on popular culture by watching movies together before Natasha inevitably falling asleep on the warmth of his shoulder. In fact, Natasha felt a growing sense of horror at how deeply intertwined her everyday life already was with Steve's. Anything more and she would have broken the most important rule of survival ingrained in her in the Red Room; never ever form an attachment. Attachment leads to distraction. And distraction get you killed.
With these thoughts firmly in mind, she avoided Steve's eyes and left him to head over to the others. She was greeted to the sight of a furious Wanda who looked as if she was ready to murder Sam. For the rest of the night, Natasha regained her composure and kept a steady tone every time she replied to Steve's attempt to draw her into conversations, his eyes constantly seeking hers. And if she derived some satisfaction every time Wanda discreetly used her powers to send Sam's ball off-kilter and into the gutter, she chalked this up to a sense of gratification that the night's outing had succeeded in providing the girl with diversions from the seriousness of their work.
They were flying over the Pacific Ocean when the news reached them.
"Red?" Tony's voice had a slightly manic tone to it that immediately made her nervous. "Did you find Banner? Coz I could certainly use him right about now."
"What's going on, Tony?" Natasha snapped the same time Bruce replied, "I'm here, Tony."
Ignoring her, Tony bellowed, "Ah Banner, I wish I could say I miss you but the truth is I'm jonesing for the big guy at the moment… fuck! Lucky shot, Hawkeye!"
"Hawkeye?" Natasha exclaimed. "Tony, mind telling us what's happening?!"
"No tv where you are, huh? I'd expect Avengers Civil War Part Deux would be all over the news by now."
"Civil War?" Bruce mouthed in Natasha's direction. She brushed off her question and instead quickly strapped herself back in the pilot seat, motioning for Bruce to do the same.
"Tony," she snapped. "Coordinates now!"
"One minute, Nat. I am. Right… in…the middle… of…getting my ass kicked by… Captain America right now," came Tony's reply in between what can only be sounds of heavy punches.
"Steve!" Natasha exclaimed. Her hands on the throttle faltered at the mention of Steve's name and Bruce snapped his head to look at her. She shook herself and fought for her usual control, focusing instead on the task of flying the plane.
"Care to explain why Cap was in the middle of kicking Tony's ass?" Bruce interjected, calmly.
She spared him a frown before focusing once again on the controls. "You really picked a wrong time eat-love-and praying it, Banner." Tony was no longer communicating with them and she increased the speed of the plane, anxious to arrive in time. "Cliff's notes version, many people aren't happy with the destruction we wreaked in New York City and Sokovia. I know, I know, our intentions were good," Natasha interrupted when she saw Bruce made a move to argue," That was never questioned. What they did question was the legitimacy of our authority to act in the first place."
Natasha took Bruce's silence as a sign that he too believed that this was in fact a legitimate question. This was confirmed with his next words. "I do not deny their concern. It is understandable for them to be apprehensive about a group of superpowered people who think they are above the law. But surely the alternative, which is for us to refrain from acting when we can save lives, is not appealing either."
Natasha nodded her head. "Yes, and they came up with what they thought was the middle-ground, which is that we act but the directive needs to come from above. In this case, the UN. They formalized this in the Sokovian Accords and basically ordered us and other superheroes to sign."
Bruce nodded his head in comprehension. "And Civil War?" he asked.
Natasha clenched her jaw. "Most of us don't see eye-to-eye on this. And situation… -sort of escalates. Those of us who refused to sign became fugitives."
Although his overall demeanour did not change, Natasha could tell from the silence that Bruce was beginning to understand the severity of the problem. But further conversation was interrupted by Tony's voice suddenly filling the cockpit once again. "Nat, head to the prison now!" he yelled out. "We don't have the manpower to stop them. They're trying to release the X-Men!"
Natasha let out a frustrated sound, frantically turning the plane in the direction of the underwater facility. "Stark, these are kids…"
- "Ross's men put a tracker in each of the X-Men! Get here now!"
"Shit! If Cap take the kids to their hideout, they'll know where to look for them. " Natasha muttered. Turning to look at Bruce, she said urgently. "Ten minutes to landing. You'd probably take half that time if you…"she faltered.
"Turn green and start jumping?" Bruce filled in, helpfully.
Natasha simply nodded her head, her worry overtaking her ability to speak. Bruce nodded his head with a sigh. She quickly hit the button to release the hatch and without a last look, Bruce Banner jumped out of the moving plane, gradually transforming into the other guy mid air.
She turned back, focusing on decreasing the speed of the aircraft and extending the flaps so as to enable her to safely land on the water. Within seconds of doing this, Natasha swiftly climbed out of the aircraft and swam her way to the platform.
Feeling the foundation shook beneath her feet, she knew that the Hulk has already reached the battle site. This made her run even faster, her heart pounding. She wasn't sure what she was expecting or hoping to see. It was imperative that they stop Cap and the others from taking the kids with them. Not only would the authorities be able to then track their hideout, there is also the question of what would happen to them once they were caught, considering they were still labeled as highly dangerous criminals. On the other hand, she did not want a repeat of what happened at the Berlin airport. The Avengers was already so deeply split, she knew it could not bear any more weight before they broke completely. And this was something she needed to prevent.
She was getting close now. Her heart sank as she took in the sight before her. There were lines of armed men surrounding the superheroes and looking up, she noted with dismay that they had even stationed four snipers at each of the towers surrounding the platform where the fighting was taking place.
She caught sight of Clint and what looked like three teenagers. Concluding that these must be the imprisoned X Men youths, she dashed towards them. As long as they still had the tracking system embedded in them, they are considered a threat to the fugitives and she must make this clear to Clint. The boy turned around and must have labeled her a threat from the defensive stance he assumed. He held his hands up and out came a spray of ice that Natasha, with her fine-honed instincts deftly avoided as she slid down and swept his legs. He fell hard on his back, surprise apparent on his face.
"Nat!" Clint exclaimed, a note of relief on his voice. At the same time, one of the remaining girls noting the efficiency with which she'd taken down her friend, took a step in her direction. Before she could do anything, Natasha still on her sliding momentum, dragged her down by her top and used the sharp edge of her elbow to swiftly knock her out.
"Shit, Nat! Are we going to have to do this again?" Clint muttered in annoyance as he stepped protectively in front of the remaining girl.
Natasha shook her head. She felt bad about taking such aggressive steps but she had very little idea what powers these kids have and decided to err on the side of caution.
"Clint, you need to take the others and leave right now!" Natasha urged him.
"Can't agree with you more, Nat, believe me. But big guy over there doesn't seem to agree."
"Banner's only here to stop you from taking the kids…" A loud sound interrupted her and she whipped her head around just in time to see Ironman fell back, Steve's shield hitting him on his chest. Her eyes sought out Steve and found him with Sam, already following up on his attack on Ironman. She looked around for Wanda and felt a huge sense of relief when she saw her in one corner battling Spiderman. This relief was quickly shattered when Falcon made a quick move to engage the Hulk in a fight.
Natasha made a move to reach Steve and try to reason with him. But before she could move, a loud sound tore through the air and she watched as the Hulk's fist connected with Falcon. This sent the man flying through the air in her direction. Before she could try and intercept his fall, a wave of red energy halted Falcon's impact and soon he was merely floating in mid air. Nearby, Wanda, like everyone else, had stopped fighting long enough to witness what was happening to Sam and was quick enough to react. She, however, took another step in the Hulk's direction and sent another, stronger wave of energy. The force of her power was strong enough that it succeeded in immobilizing the Hulk.
Changing direction, Natasha ran instead in the direction of Wanda, intending to mediate between the two before things get out of hand. "Wanda!" she yelled, frantically. The other girl swiftly turned her head in her direction at the sound of Natasha's voice. For a moment, Natasha could see a softening in the girl's eyes as if she was glad to see her. But as if remembering everything that had happened, Wanda's face hardened and ignoring her, she doubled her effort to try and take the Hulk down.
Suddenly pandemonium struck. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Ironman making a sudden move in the direction of the nearby tower screaming, "No! Stand down! DO NOT SHOOT!"
Natasha immediately understood what was happening and re-doubled her effort to reach Wanda. Three armed guards stood between her and the girl but she quickly and skillfully took them down.
But it was too late. She watched as if in slow motion as Wanda's body was thrown back as if hit by a strong force. In growing horror she watched as another shot threw her further back, and another…
"Noooooo!" she screamed, as she watched Wanda's legs slowly gave way, crimson stain spreading around her chest. Natasha felt her own knees weakening but she fought to get closer to the girl.
She was almost within reach when another anguish cry steal the suddenly quiet air. The wail suddenly turned to anger and Natasha looked up to see a wrathful Vision above them. He spread his arms and aimed flashes after flashes of scorching fiery waves upon the direction where the snipers were stationed. The tower could not withstand the hits and started crumbling down. The sound was deafening but Natasha turned back to look at Wanda who now lay on her back, her body agonizingly still.
Natasha shook her head in denial, her heart in her throat. Willing her legs to move, she made her way closer but before she could reach the girl, a block of solid metal loomed above her. She tried to duck away but shock as well as deep anguish slowed down her reflexes and she felt for a moment the agonizing pain as the falling block pinned her down.
But all her attention was still on the lifeless body just within her reach and she cried out, "Wanda, Wanda, please get up.."
Suddenly another frantic voice reached through her sense of numbness.
- "Wanda?!"
It was Steve and she looked up in time to see him skidding to a full stop beside the fallen body of the Scarlet Witch. He took off his helmet and reached out to slowly shake her body as if to wake her up from mere sleep.
"Steve," Natasha called out, weakly. He looked up, saw her and right there in his eyes was something that Natasha had always dreaded to see but somehow felt was long coming. His eyes were full of accusation and anger as he looked at her. Unable to bear the sight, Natasha sharply turned her face away and closed her eyes to hide the solitary tear.
Wanda is gone, Natasha repeated to herself. And she had forever lost the chance to let her know how deeply and irrevocably she has changed Natasha's life. Their last interaction with each other had been one of enemies taking opposite sides. Now, Natasha would never get the chance to let Wanda know that not once did she ever view Wanda as her enemy.
Natasha was overwhelmed with pain. Pain from the loss of Wanda. Such deep pain that it even numbs the physical trauma caused by having her lower body pinned down by a fallen debris.
Suddenly she felt the agonizing pressure lessened and then disappeared. She opened her eyes in time to see Steve pushing the block away from her. Unable to control herself, she reached out a hand to him. He hesitated and she almost withdrew the hand, recalling the look on his face as he turned to look at her earlier.
But before she did, he grabbed onto her hand and sank heavily to his knees beside her. This time when he looked at her there was no anger, just pure unbridled need. The need to connect, to share the grief that they both felt at the loss of someone very precious to both of them. His body trembled with unreleased sadness and without hesitating, she scooted over, ignoring the pain in favour of gathering him into her arms. As she did this, his own arms tightened around her and he let out a deep, shaky breath.
"Nat, Nat," he cried repeatedly as he burrowed his face in her neck. She raked a hand through his hair and made shushing sounds even as her own tears wet her face.
For a moment, there were only them, lost in their grief. But the reality of where they were and the danger that still lurked caused her to jerk away and tightened her hold on his arms. "Steve, you have to go! They'll bring reinforcements. Take the others and go."
It took him longer to overcome his grief and she fought the urge to shake him to act. To move. Before she finds herself mourning another loss, one she now knows and accepts, would truly break her. Finally he nodded slowly but instead of moving, he looked at her and asked, "Will you be okay?"
She swallowed the fresh bout of sadness brought on by his question. Instead she nodded her head, making an effort to project a calmness she did not feel. He brought his hand to her face and she no longer had the strength to stop herself from leaning into his touch. They would have stayed that way for longer had Clint not appeared to break them apart.
"Cap, I can see three choppers heading this way. We gotta go right now if we don't want to get caught," Clint stated. His eyes kept straying to the still body and Natasha noted that he too was fighting the grief at Wanda's loss.
"Alright," Steve said finally in a strained voice, "Take the kids and let's go."
"No," Natasha cried out, vehemently, grabbing his arm. "It's a trap, Steve. They put trackers on them. You must leave them here."
Suddenly Steve's body seemed to collapse before her eyes. His eyes when he looked at her were full of growing horror. "I did this. The whole rescue was my idea. And it was all a trap. I did this," he repeated and his face grew ashen as he suddenly turned to Wanda's lifeless body. "And Wanda…" his voice trailed off.
"No!" Natasha protested, pulling his head to face her. "Don't do this, Steve. This is not the time. I need you to survive this so we can find out who's really to blame for all of this." For a second it did not appear as if he was listening to her.
"Cap, you have to leave now," Tony's voice announced his arrival.
Natasha kept her eyes on Steve. "Steve, listen to me," she said, and forced him to look at her. Once he did so, she said quietly but firmly. "This cannot be the thing that breaks us." His eyes searched hers and as if he found what he was looking for there, he nodded. With a last look at Natasha and a final parting look at Wanda's dead body, he grabbed the shield from Tony's outreached hand.
"I'll be sure to make use of that thing you delivered to me, okay?" Tony said.
"You do that," – was the last thing he said before he took off, Clint not far behind him.
That left Natasha and Tony. With the others gone, Natasha watched as Tony seemed to let go of his controlled emotions and sank to the ground, his hands seeking the cold ones of Wanda's. Wordlessly, Natasha laid her own hands on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort.
"I thought I knew what I was doing, Nat," Tony muttered in a deeply anguished voice. He shook his head, gesturing to what surrounded them. Natasha finally lifted her head and surveyed the aftermath of the recent battle. Smoke clouded her vision but she could make out the destruction wreaked by the grieving Vision who seemed to have disappeared. From where they kneeled, she could just make out the unconscious but still breathing form of Bruce Banner. Not far from him were the three young X Men, also unconscious.
"I thought I knew what I was doing," Tony repeated, sadly and Natasha turned her eyes back at him. "And now it's all turned to ashes."
In that instant, the ground shook and bright flashing light surrounded the air. As the light disappeared and Natasha's eyes adjusted, she could see a figure standing in the centre, holding an enormous hammer.
"My friends, Heimdall told of ill tidings befalling my brethren in Midgard. I have come to help."