CHAPTER NINE
"Are we going to talk about what happened back there?" Sharon Carter demanded as soon as they safely made it into the Wakandan palace.
"Not now, Sharon," Steve said, quietly, his face mask of grief. Not slowing down, he instead quickly left the hall in the direction of his room.
"Is everyone okay?" Tchalla inquired, concern lining his face.
Clint shook his head but refused to say anything, grief still a heavy lead in his heart.
"They knew we were coming!" Sharon continued, persistently. "Care explaining how they knew we were coming, Hawkeye?" she demanded, her voice laced with accusation.
"You trying to say something, Carter?" Clint asked, threateningly.
Sam quickly moved to stand between them. He faced Sharon and gave her a firm look. "Like the Cap said, not now. We just lost Wanda."
"Precisely why we need to talk about this right now before we lose anyone else!" she argued.
"Do you really think this was my doing?" Clint demanded, stepping away from behind Sam to face Sharon.
"You're the one with the link to the Black Widow!" she pointed out, angrily.
"You think she planned all this? Set a trap for us? Have Wanda shot down like that? You really think that was her doing?" Clint was yelling now, anger and grief mixing together and finding a target to unleash both on.
"I don't have the first clue what Black Widow is capable of! All I know is that she is not here with us," she yelled back, gesturing to all of us. "Which means she is out there against us!"
- "STOP THIS!" Steve's thunderous voice stopped whatever Clint was about to say next and all four of them turned to see him striding back into the hall.
"We just suffered a huge loss," he stated in a quieter but no less angry voice. "Can we take the time to mourn her before we start pointing fingers at each other? No, Sharon," he cut her off when he saw her about to say something. "I am aware that they knew we were coming. But I trust each and everyone in this room. Each of you has given up much to be here with me now. We do great disservice if we were to start looking at each other suspiciously now."
He folded his arms and turned to face Sharon head on. "As for Black Widow? She might not be standing with us right now but I trust her explicitly. Whatever happened back there, she didn't have anything to do with it except once again to make sure we all get away safely. Now can we all please table this discussion for later when we're not still feeling raw?"
He waited till they all indicated their agreement, Sharon the last to nod her head, eyes on the floor and cheeks reddening. Without another word, Steve once again made his way out of the hall, the Captain America with shoulders all hunched down as if the weight of the world was all laid there.
Clint felt for the Cap but something was nagging in his head. He looked around at the other three occupants of the room. Steve might trust them but Clint knew that it was not him that tipped anyone off about their plan to rescue the kids. And if it wasn't him, it must be one of the other people in the room.
It wasn't that difficult to lay his hands on what he needed. The next day, he strolled into the palace's security room and asked if they have any bugging devices. "The king send me," Clint stated, casually when the man in charge gave him a skeptical look. He held the other man's eyes, his whole posture oozing sincerity. There was no one better than him when it comes to the art of deception.
He strolled out a few minutes later with his objective in his backpack. Knowing Sharon Carter was down at the dining hall finishing up her breakfast, Clint quickly headed into her room and began setting up the bug.
He was not just mainly going by instincts in isolating Sharon as a suspect. Sam he quickly crossed off the list. For one thing, he was an Avenger. For another, he has been by Steve's side since the debacle in Washington, risking his life for Steve's cause. Plus, Wanda meant just as much to the man as she did to everyone else in the team. So Clint could not see him having an angle.
T'challa was not someone he crossed out lightly. After all they've only made his acquaintance recently. Moreover, his experience with the Avengers did not start off on a good footing, what with Steve protecting the very man suspected of killing his father, and Natasha betraying him at the airport to let Steve and Bucky escape. But T'challa has gone a full ninety-degree ever since finding out the truth about the Geneva bombing. Offering Steve and the other fugitives his palace to hide in, he even helped Bucky go back down into cryogenic freezing to allow the man some peace. Of course Clint wouldn't be the covert agent he is if he didn't also find all these favours suspect. What convinced him the most that T'challa could not have been the spy was the very fact that had he wanted to, he could have given them up at any given time. Had he meant them any harm, there would have been nothing they could have done to prevent him from harming them, as deeply immersed as they are in Wakanda and surrounded by T'challa's men and private army. So why would he bother harming them covertly when he could do so directly anytime he wanted?
So that left Sharon Carter. The woman whose first brush with Steve had been to spy on him, even if it was under Nick Fury's orders. In fact, there was just so much that was still unknown about the woman. She has lied about her identity, concealed her relationship with the woman who played a major role in Steve's past and risked her job and her life for a man that she barely even knew beyond occasional greetings in the hallway.
Heading back to his room, he set up the transmitter and sat himself down, anticipating a long day of surveillance ahead of him.
It was hours later when there was finally some sound of interaction coming from the speaker. Following a knock on the door, a voice Clint recognized as Steve asked her if he could come in. This was followed by some quiet small talks about breakfast and whether Steve slept well the night before.
"Steve, I'm so sorry about Wanda. She was an Avenger. Losing Aunt Peggy so recently, I can only imagine how you're feeling right now," Sharon's voice was soft, and laced with sorrow.
"She wasn't just a teammate, Sharon," he replied, quietly. He was quiet for a while then he let out a heavy sigh. "After I woke up from that ice, there were days when I felt that I couldn't get out of bed. The idea of facing another day, with everything that I have lost, became like a load weighing me down. Those days? I would never have believed that I could ever recover all my losses. But finding the Avengers, fighting alongside this group of brave, incredibly self-less people, brought all that back to me ten-fold. They became more than people that I fight the bad guys with, Sharon. They're my family," he said then continued in a sad voice. "I just lost a member of my family."
Clint felt his own heart grew heavy. What Steve was saying, he felt the same too. He might not have spent as much time with Wanda as Steve, Natasha, Sam and Tony did. But he felt the loss just the same.
For a while there was only silence over the line and Clint imagined the two locked in a comforting embrace. Then Sharon's voice came on, hesitant and awkward. "Steve, about Black Wi…- Agent Romanoff," she started then there was another moment of silence as if she was searching for words. "I… I saw you and her at the prison."
Another silence fell as if she expected Steve to add to what she was saying, volunteering information to a question she seemed to be having difficulty asking. When Steve remained quiet, she continued, "Is there anything between you and Natasha?"
Again there was silence. And again it seemed that Sharon was once again forced to carry out this conversation by herself. "I mean,… -god, I feel awkward asking this! It's just that, back in Berlin, you kissed me. And I just,.. I thought there might be something here. But I don't want to step on anything, if.. if there is anything to step on between you and Natasha."
Finally, as if taking pity on the woman, Clint heard Steve let out a heavy sigh. "Nat is…," he broke off as if he himself was finding it difficult to put a word, a definition on what it was between him and Natasha. "In Berlin, you and I, we connected. We lost someone who meant so much to both of us. And then you risked your job, and as it turned out now you risked everything, to help me out, getting me back my shield and Sam his wings. I felt that you were there and she…"
"Are you saying this is all because you feel grateful that I helped you?" Clint winced at how affronted she sounded.
"No! I just... I do, like you, I mean. But… I, I think I just need to work things out right now."
Clint rolled his eyes. This conversation was starting to get really awkward. And he was starting to feel bad about intruding on Steve's privacy. He quickly made a move to lower down the volume of the transmitter when Sharon's voice came on again, sounding apologetic.
"I'm sorry to put you on the spot like this, Steve. And today of all days, too. I don't know what's wrong with me lately! Sometimes I feel like I'm not acting like myself." Clint's hand froze on the controller.
"Is everything alright, Sharon?" Steve asked, his voice heavy with concern.
"I don't want to trouble you. I mean, I don't even know if there is anything wrong with me. Just that, sometimes I feel like I'm losing the plot. And I'm finding trouble sleeping too." Clint frowned. Was this a ploy to regain Steve's attention or was she genuinely in distress? And if so, what was causing her distress? Could it be the guilt of spying on Steve weighing on her conscience? Or is it something more sinister?
"Could it be stress from all this hiding? I am so sorry, Sharon. This is all my fault."
- "No! Steve, I made this choice. You didn't put a gun to my head, okay? I am here because I choose to be. So please, stop kicking yourself. And please, forget I said anything. I'm just being a spaz." Even to his ears the laughter that followed sounded forced and hollow.
That seemed to end the conversation but Clint was far from convinced. If something was going on with Sharon Carter, he wants to find out about it.