Chapter 5: Radioactivity? Isn't that what You're-

"The Jacob Brothers, wanted for Midtown Bank robbery; imprisoned two days ago…" Peter weaved himself between skyscrapers with a bunch of crinkled newspapers in his hand. "Laurence Jenkins, abusive girlfriend; imprisoned three days ago," He pulled his web and landed atop a work building. "Prad Bitt, alleged murderer, proved guilty and imprisoned this morning!?" He threw the papers up in the night air and waved his arms. "Who the heck is doing my job!?" A spike jolted through his left arm, and he winced. The pain still hasn't gone away since five days ago when he was nicked with that strange liquid. "Damn. It." Peter hadn't gained a single bit of information since then, and he certainly hasn't told anyone about it. It's also been four days since he's seen the masked mercenary Deadpool. He was sick to his stomach with worry already, he didn't need an unstable trouble-maker on the loose as well.

He was interrupted from his thoughts all of a sudden. "Hey, Spider-Man?" A voice spoke shyly behind him. His spider-senses haven't gone off, so Peter calmly turned to face the voice. A young man, about five years older than him stepped out of the roof compartment. "It's me, Casey. I really wanted to thank you for saving me from my girlfriend. You know, it's just that I didn't want to hurt any feelings is all." Peter stared, confused.

"Um, oh sure. No problem…" He rubbed his neck. What…?

"Like, when you came up all of a sudden in the grocery store to stop her from hurting me anymore. I mean, really cool man. Also that time you came hurdling out of the air and tackled the Jacob brothers in a bar. Can I have your autograph?" This man named Casey held out a notepad and pen. Peter smiled back silently as he signed. "Sweet. Thanks again. Hope to see you around Web-Head!" The man slipped behind the door again.

"What the…?" Peter remembered doing none of this. He's been a little too absorbed in trying to find out exactly what is swimming in his bloodstream. In fact, time to get back to the lab and continue research. Peter sighed, and primarily used his right arm to swing back to the tower.

…

"I am a really, really awesome man." Wade brushed his hands together and grinned triumphantly as he watched a pair of robbers hog-tied together and yelling through their gags. Still not a hero. "Buzzkill." Wade walked out of the alley and was about to dial the police on a payphone until he spotted a certain Web-Slinger swinging by. Hey is that-? "Yes, yes it is! Yoo hoo! Spiiiideeeeey!" He jumped and waved his arms around like a toddler recieving chocolate. How did we make three exclamation-marks? It's a fourth-wall gig, don't mind it."Spidey! Down here!"

Peter's spider-senses sent a little shiver down his neck and he instinctively looked down to the streets. Over by the opening of an alleyway, was… crap. Not crap, but Wade. The streetlights poured light over him eerily. "Ugh." Peter shot a strand of web beside the mercenary's feet. He landed abruptly and stood up to full height as soon as both his feet were on the ground. "What is it Dea-" He was cut short by a pair of strong arms wrapping around his waist and lifting him off his feet. "DEADPOOL-"

"Oh, Spidey! I missed you sosososososoooo much! I kept thinking about what Yellow and White said, and how they said that I was a jerk and have no friends, and I wanted to prove to the them that you're my friend by catching all the criminals for you and that you have no girlfriend or at least that I'm a good guy for you and-" Wade ranted as he buried his masked face in Peter's chest, and he had a feeling he was slowly losing oxygen. He also felt his arm burn more than before. Through Wade's rambling, Peter used his uninjured arm that was not in the mercenary's death grip and pried himself away enough for him to breathe. He stuck his hand on Wade's face to shut him up.

"You- you mean you're the one who's been doing my job?" Peter let go of the man's face so he could speak.

"Yeah, I figured you were busy, also I kind of need someone to think I'm not a horrible ass-hat murderer." Which we totally are. "Which I'm totally not." He retaliated against the voice.

"Frankly. I'm not actually that surprised." Peter pursed his lips. "I mean, with that weird… moment you had in my room. I kind of expected you to so something stupid."

Wade grinned beneath his mask and hugged Peter tighter against his chest and rocked him around. "Oh Baby-Boy, you know I'm stupid for you!" A duet of groans sounded from the alley.

"So is this what the world's come to? Two Spider-Men. And they be datin'." One of the crooks got his gag loos while the other was snickering. Peter's face flushed beneath his mask as he shot a web at the man's mouth with incredible accuracy. An angry mrmph was heard from the crook. For extra measure, he webbed the other mouth too.

"Alright, ya bloke, put me down." Peter turned his face away in reflex to hide the blush sprinkled across his cheeks, even though the mask hid all emotion anyways. Wade whined.

"It's been so long though. I can't believe it's been five days since I saw you! And I can't get over how cute you actually look under that mask-" Peter pressed his palm against Wade's face again. A strangled complaint was felt on his hand. "Sshperdy!" His lips tickled his palm.

"DOWN." Peter spoke through his teeth. Wade seemed to get the idea as his masked eyes widened comically behind Peter's hand. Wade pretty much dropped him and the hero grunted in surprise. He sighed in exasperation. "Why've you been catching all these criminals?" He gestured widely to the two crooks tied together. "That's my job. Aren't you, I dunno, supposed to be out being a mercenary doing, well… mercenary things?" Peter avoided the 'K' word. It might trigger Wade into a 'K'-ing spree. Said man shrugged.

"Wanted to try something different for once." Wade lied. We could just tell him we want to be a hero. "Yeah, but what if he thinks I can't change?" The man spoke to the voices awkwardly.

"I can't say you can,"

Crap, we were talking out loud again. "Can what?" Wade put a finger to his lips sheepishly.

"I can't say you can change," At that Wade visibly withered in size. But Peter quickly corrected himself. "But you're doing a pretty good job. I can't stay, Deadpool. I have to get home, urgent." Peter was about to leave him there and swing away until he felt wade holding onto his arm again. Oh God, please not another dance…! Peter groaned loudly and turned to see Wade holding a finger in the air.

"Is it that one time you said something about something dangerous running in your bloodstream?" He stated matter-of-factly. We remembered that? It's been five days! We've got a man-crush on him, it's our job to remember.

"How did you- never mind. But yes, and I can't believe I'm telling you this, but I'm really freaking out. You're the only one I can actually trust around here to not go blabbing out to SHIELD about the issue." Peter rambled.

Oh. My. GOD. Wade blinked as Peter spoke. He said he trusts us. HE TRUSTS US DAMN IT. ODIN UP IN ASGARD. We're one step closer to becoming his boyfriend! "And you guys doubted me…" Wade whispered blissfully.

"…And she said something about radioactivity before she died. I have a feeling what's in my bloodstream now is radioactivity." Peter realized that he has been pacing around in front of Wade while he listened surprisingly well for once. "You get me?" Wade blinked.

"…Uh?" The mercenary tilted his head as Peter groaned and slapped his palm against his face.

"The one moment I thought you were listening. Anyways, the last thing that girl said was radioactivity. It caused her to literally melt on me, but it's been five days and I'm not a blob of steaming goo yet. I can't figure out what's happening, and my arm still hurts. This is too hard to figure out, and I can't worry anyone over this." Peter slumped. "Especially not my parents." Wade titled his head yet again.

"Radioactivity? Isn't that what you're- made of, or something? I thought your origin story was this radioactive spider biting you up in Oscrap, or something along those lines." Wade shifted lightly on both feet, and shrugged while Peter stared. "If I were you, I'd probably think I'd be fine. I mean aren't your powers basically formed from radioactivity-" he was cut off by a cry from Peter.

"That's it! That's it, the radioactivity! No wonder I'm fine, the spider itself was radioactive!" Peter ignored the fact that he was basically losing his cool in front of Wade. He jumped with his arms folded close to his chest. Peter smiled and grasped Wade's shoulders, and shook him as lightly as his spider-strength would allow in his excitement. "I'll be okay!" He fist-pumped.

"…What did I do?" Wade blinked.

"You saved me from any more research. And, now I get to sleep properly." Peter let go of Wade's shoulders and crossed his arms triumphantly. "You know what- you're smarter than you look." Peter admitted.

Wade squealed. "So that means we're friends?" He stuck out his hand for a shake, his arm trembling with anticipation.

Peter tapped his lips, calming from the epiphany. "Well not exactly. But you did try hard in catching criminals while I was away, and you helped me figure out this big problem…"

Wade groaned. "C'mon, don't leave me hangin'!" He gestured with his outstretched hand.

The hero shook his head. "Getting there." He reached out for Wade's hand. But at that moment muffled shrieks resounded behind them in the alleyway, and Peter's hand recoiled as the two of them snapped their heads to search for the source. Wade's swords were already at hand. The two men Wade had tied together, were writhing and hitting against each other as they frothed at the mouth. "NO!" Peter screamed in horror as he ran to the men. Without thinking he placed both hands on the rope and tore it apart, freeing the two for breathing space. In barely a split second he was on his stomach on the slimy ground, Wade's back was on top of him, and the mercenary's arms were crossed with one blade in each mouth of the crooks. He grunted and pushed Peter closer to the ground.

"Are they- supposed to have super-strength or am I just out of shape!?" Wade cried out as the two men suddenly slumped on his swords and their heads slid to his handle. "Uuugh, gross!" He let go of his weapons to wipe his hands on his suit. "I think the stuff got in my mouth…" Wade gagged as the two crooks began to melt. Peter was frantic as he pushed the mercenary off his back.

"Get away from that!" Peter pulled Wade away from the goo and peered around the alleyway. "When did this happen, Wade!? Was something wrong with them when you caught them?" He questioned. Wade flicked the last of the goo of his swords, and glanced back at Peter.

"No uh, They were pretty okay for robbers." Despite his slightly playful tone, his swords were clutched tightly in his hands, and his stance was wide. He joined Peter in looking around the darkness, spotting a bright green trail of some sort of liquid. "Is that the thing…?"

"It is." Peter looked to Wade. "And I'm gonna figure this out before the whole city ends up like them," He pointed at the puddles of steaming black slime, and ran into the darkness. Wade jumped between feet excitedly.

Aw yiss. We know what this means, right? Wade giggled and screamed "AMAZING FRIEND TEAM-UP!" He could hear a certain Spider groan slightly near him as he chased after his supposed-friend, swords ready in his hands.