2
Dress shopping is its own layer of hell. The lady who is assisting us is as small as my pinkie. We came in at 8AM sharp, so we have two change rooms reserved for the four of us. Emilie and Nessie took maybe fifteen minutes to find a dress. Laura clocked in at forty minutes. I, however, still haven't found one after an hour in a half.
"That's the only other sixteen I have." says the lady, who eyes my figure. I feel like sitting on the ground and crying.
"Maybe one of my sisters could pick something up." Nessie suggested. "They're shopping in Barrie today."
"You missed Barrie for us?" Laura said, stroking her dress in her lap. I stomp back into the change room and gingerly remove the orange monstrosity from me. The cross dangles from my neck and hits me in the nose as I lean down to put on my pants.
I hear them chatter outside as I get dressed. I wait for them to pay and I chauffeur everyone home. Emilie and Laura are dying to see Nessie's house, but it makes the most sense to drop her off last.
"Right here," she warns me as I nearly drive by. There's no one on the road so I reverse a little and then drive into the driveway. Driving down the driveway takes another ten minutes or so. I stop near the front. They have a circle driveway with another lane that juts around to a back parking garage.
"See ya Monday." I say, trying not to sound too glum. She gives me a small smile.
"Thanks for having me over, Celia. See ya Monday."
She closes the door and I drive back down the driveway. When I get to the main road I turn on the melancholy playlist.
I feel like the Grinch as I tear through my closet, tossing garments onto my bed.
"Freya, if I can't find something to wear then I'm not going!" I declare. Freya lays under a pile of shirts and wags her tail.
I pack everything back into my closet and sit on the ground. Maybe if I don't eat anything for a few days, I could fit into a fourteen. I could get some spanx, and go back to the snooty lady's store on Wednesday after school.
I feel miserable, and I climb into bed to cuddle with Freya. My phone buzzes—my mother posted a picture of her with Ryan's kids. She looks happy. I can't call her.
I'm starving but I take a bath, since I'm not eating until the party on Saturday. Freya sits by the door as I undress and slip into the hot water. I even dug out some bubbles for the occasion. The water feels divine, and I'm as close to at peace as I'll probably ever be.
Eventually the water begins to cool, and I sigh heavily. Freya lets out a whine in response, and now I have to comfort her. I dry off and let her into the bathroom while I brush my hair. I look into the mirror. At least I have good skin.
I take my homework downstairs and set it on the couch before digging through the freezer for leftovers. There's some sort of vegetable soup from a month ago, and I uncover it before setting it in the microwave before remembering that I'm not eating. Fuck.
I set it back in the fridge and take my pills with water. Freya watches me as if she's confused by my actions. Twenty minutes later I've dived into homework and I barely remember my skipped meal.
I bring a large water bottle to school and spin a lie about having to work on in the library during lunch, since I have to prep for the party when I get home. Emilie and Laura are mysteriously 'busy', so I find myself labouring through every afternoon and evening to the sound of the radio and Freya's laboured breaths as she hobbles through the yard. I love autumn, and it's hard not to feel a base level of happiness as my house becomes transformed.
By the end of Monday and Tuesday night, I'm exhausted: hungry, thirsty, and sore. But Wednesday, having completed the preparations, I'm jittery to go shopping again. I can barely hold a conversation as I drop of Emilie and Laura, and then drive home to change into the knock-off spanx. About a half hour away there was another, less-stocked dress shop, and I wanted to try that first just to avoid the rude sales lady.
The stock was pitiful, with only 4 size 14s and 2 16s, but one of the 14s was forgiving. It had a small hole in one of the seams of the back and was marked down, but I wasn't worried that I could sew it up at home. I almost cried from relief as the worker, a woman easily in her 60s, rang me through. I didn't need to be the Belle of the ball, as long as I didn't look out of place.
Thursday came, and the school was eerily quiet with most of the 11 and 12th graders missing. Nessie and I were the only ones of our tentative friend group to show up, so we spent most of the day together. I mindlessly followed her to the cafeteria with only my water bottle and my phone.
"Didn't you bring a lunch?" she asked as we sat down. Frick.
"Oh, I didn't feel that great last night. I'm still not that hungry, but I'm trying to drink lots of fluids." I said, shaking my water bottle. "I don't want to be out of commission for Halloween tomorrow. You're still coming, right?"
"Of course! My sisters thought the Addams's family theme was kind of cute."
"Thanks," I said, unscrewing the cap. "It's just easy, and people can come dressed in black."
Nessie smiled. "I'm excited to see what the house will look like. What non-perishables are you looking for?"
"The food bank said they're pretty low on baby food, snack foods, and pasta sauce. But everything helps."
Nessie nodded as if she was committing the small list to memory. We broke off into silence, reading our books for English until the bell rang.
"I've got a hair appointment," she said, grabbing her lunch bag. "But I'll see you tonight?"
"For sure. See you later." I said with a smile and wave. Nessie was actually pretty nice and chill, especially without Emilie and Laura around.
It took an hour and a half for me to tame my hair into an updo, and another hour to get my makeup to cooperate. Thankfully, the process of dressing was much easier. I took my ticket from the fridge and put it in my clutch along with a bit of emergency money and my lipstick.
"Be good while I'm gone," I teased Freya, who was lying fast asleep under the kitchen table.
I drove in a pair of flats but changed into nude pumps when I got to the hotel. Emilie and Laura weren't too hard to find, but they looked shocked to see me.
"I thought you were going to wear that big gray bag? Where did this come from?" Laura asked.
"Hey, I like that dress!" I said.
"Nessie! Over here!" Emilie waved to the direction behind me and Nessie came clip-clopping out of the parking lot. "We kinda thought you were gonna bail. But that's okay, we'll just sit without Veronica or Rachel. They can join Steph's table."
Nessie caught up to us, beaming.
"You look so nice!"
"I love your hair!"
"You look like a celebrity!"
Nessie blushed as we showered her with compliments. "Let's go inside," she said, pulling me and Emilie. Laura ran after us in her precarious stilettos.
We got our picture taken together, and then with Josie and Ashley, who joined our table for dinner.
"I'm so excited for your party tomorrow," Josie said from across the table as she passed around the bread basket.
"You're in for a real treat, Nessie," Ashley promised her.
"So I've heard." She said, turning to me. I just sipped my water, a bit embarrassed.
"I heard Bridget and Caroline complaining about not getting an invite," said Josie. "I mean, that's completely unfair. You haven't had classes with them before, have you Celia?"
I had to set down my ice water, which was quickly just becoming ice. "I don't think so. Not in the last few years, at least."
Josie smirked. "Kind of rude, don't you think? If they wanted an invite, they should have made more of an effort." Then she turned to Nessie. "You get a pass because you're new."
"It's not like I make people work for it. It's just that I don't want the party to turn completely chaotic," I said. "And I don't really know that many people, so I wouldn't feel comfortable with strangers running through the forest on Halloween."
"Ooh, that reminds me I need to get a new flashlight!" Ashley said.
The conversation turns away from me and I finally relax.
Dinner is yummy, but maybe that's because it was my first meal in days. I eat everything in its entirety, even the lumpy mashed potatoes.
"Hungry much?" Laura asks, elbowing me. My eyes narrow and I feel Josie's eyes linger on us for a minute.
Dessert is served, but people are getting up to dance and the cake doesn't even look that good, I tell myself. Nessie and I walk to the dance floor together and bop around awkwardly to the music, laughing and smiling at our horrible 'dad moves'.
Nessie shouts to me that she's going to the bathroom just as Emilie and Laura join. We dance together for a while, but the primal gleam in their eyes tell me that they're hunting for a single man to dance with. The tightness in my chest has gone away slightly, only to be replaced with anxiety as Emilie and Laura start to move away from me. Not to any boys, just away… and when I move closer, they move again.
Josie and Ashley join us, too cheerful to be completely innocent. But Josie grabs my hand and we spin around and laugh, and minutes later I forget my uneasiness. I've know these girls for years now— I have no reason to be nervous.
Josie, even as she is slightly smaller than me (and a whole lot skinnier), pats my head and throws back her head to laugh. "You're one of a kind, Celia." She says before taking Ashley with her to talk to the DJ.
I feel a warm hand on my arm and I turn to Nessie. I can't quite hear her as the music is loud, and she pulls me off the dance floor.
"The back of your dress split open." She says, and I can feel the blood drain from my face. "It's not that bad, just mostly your back is showing."
I reach behind. I can feel my bra and the spanx. The hole is huge.
"Maybe some teachers have a safety pin or something," she says, but she doesn't sound hopeful.
"I think I'm just going to go. I only wanted to stay for a bit, I still have some prep I have to do for tomorrow," I lied.
She looked a little disappointed but gave me a hug and wished me a safe drive home.
When I got in the car I was already crying angry tears, picturing Emilie and Laura moving away, and Josie's laughing face. Why didn't they just tell me?
I drove home fuming. I should have just worn the grey dress that my friends hated and not went through all this trouble.
I parked the car in the garage and sat in the darkness for a long time. Why did I even care what they thought? Did I want them to miss me?
I leaned my head against the steering wheel and didn't wake up until 2AM.
In another few chapters there will be more Cullens and wolves, don't worry!
As always, tell me what you think! Likes/dislikes- I have a thick skin ;) but I AM motivated by reviews