Chapter 7: Beam Me Up, Spidey
"AGH!" Without thinking Peter shot a strand of web from his wrists and hit Wade's snickering mask. He pulled back sharply and hid his face with his forearms while simultaneously yanking the merc's mask off.
"ACK!" Wade stumbled backward slightly at the impact.
"What do you think you're doing?" Peter yelled angrily, tugging whatever happened to be in his hands over his exposed face. It happened to be his company's mask. He gagged audibly. "And… what the hell is with this stench? Ever heard of soap, Wade?" Peter held his breath and had to steady himself against the wall to keep from toppling over because of the God-awful smell. Wade pouted.
"No one told you to wear it, Spidey." Wade's scarred visage formed a slightly nervous smirk, but quickly changed when he looked down to his hands. Hanging from his fingers was Peter's Spider-Man mask, and Wade couldn't be happier. Without asking for permission the mercenary giggled like a baby and yanked the smaller mask over his face. *CONTENT SIGH* IT SMELLS LIKE FRESH LINEN HUNG BY THE SEASIDE. Wade scrunched up his nose. "Yeah linen by the seaside that had melted person drip all over it." He peered over at a very, very discontent radioactive human. "What have you been up to, you naughty boy?"
"I can't believe you just compared melted flesh to... whatever. At least I don't smell like Death decided to eat a cheap, expired nacho and couldn't keep it down." He tugged off the piece of fabric and winced as some of the sharp ends of his hair poked his eyes. "And God, is that blood?" Peter's lip curled as he reduced his full-hand hold to just pinching the material with his thumb and forefinger. "I'll have you talk to my laundry guy."
"Hey, don't make fun of Death! She's gorgeous." Wade poked his own cheeks. Peter's eyes narrowed as he stared at the man squishing his face. "And I'll have you talk to my spandex guy. Don't you get wedgies in that suit?" Wade pulled the mask off to admire the elasticity of the fabric and stretched it as far as possible. Great, two miscreants who shouldn't be caught dead without their masks.
"…Sure." He approached the taller man in order to ask for his mask back as politely as he could, when a childish but gravelly laugh rang through the empty alleyway. Jumping from fright, Peter couldn't help but squeak and pull Wade's mask back over his face again, as did Wade who got it temporarily caught over his ears. "What the hell?" His eyes scanned the area, and glanced over at the mercenary who had a gun in his hand and was looking the other way. Peter noticed their masks were still switched. "Shit." He muttered, and crouched low to the ground in his iconic ready position.
Wade was squinting into the darkness of the other end of the alley, and clicked his gun into use. What the hell what the hell WHAT THE HELL!? The laughter was accompanied by the wet slapping of bloody flesh on concrete. Wade noticed, and wrapped his hand protectively around Spider-Man's. He also felt the sudden, burning glare from his teammate scorching a hole in the back of his head. Wow his hand is way warmer and softer than I thought. Our bodies are going to be COLD and STIFF if we don't get out of here, FAST. Wade gasped and spun his head around to look at Peter, who's gaze was fixed intently at the opposite opening, the glow of the liquid making him look… "…Dead." Wade gulped and held his hand tighter.
With no time to even blink, a glowing tube shot into sight and embedded itself in Wade's chest, his masked eyes going wide and crying out in a mixture of surprise and pain.
"WADE!" Peter screamed, and gasped as another one shot past his head. "Wade, NO!" He was tugged down to his knees roughly by his hand, which was still entwined with the mercenary's. Though their masks were switched, Wade was completely expressionless; extremely uncharacteristic of him. "Wade?" Peter's spider-senses went out of control as he flung himself over the larger man, Wade landing on his back and Peter on top of him just as another syringe whizzed past his head. "Wade! Are you listening? We gotta get out of here!" Peter shouted, growing increasingly desperate for their lives. He felt his heart stop when the mercenary lifted his gun hand; but tapped Peter's wrist with the handle. Spider-Man breathed heavily, and Wade rumbled:
"Beam me up, Spidey."
Peter soon found himself soaring through the nighttime air with a mercenary on his back, trying to drown out the sounds of inhuman shrieking from that cursed alleyway.
…
Very, very short chapter! My sincerest apologies for being away so long, but this story will finish, and even if the chapters are hella late you can expect more plot coming after each one!