I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE DIARIES OR THE CHARACTERS.
Music Credit: "Monster" – Meg & Dia
~*.*~
'Monster, how should I feel?
Creatures lie here, looking through the window.
That night he caged her, bruised and broke her.
He struggled closer, then he stole her.
Violet wrists and then her ankles – silent pain…
Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams.'
~*.*~
Chapter Three:
I squirmed under Damon's grip. This can't be happening again. It can't! The look in his eyes is lethal. I've never won against him. He's too strong – he's always been too strong. I felt hot tears leaking down my face, betraying me. I can't show weakness against him. It's crucial to my survival. He feeds off my weaknesses and goes increasingly vicious.
"Come on, Bonnie. You know you want this. You were so willing before. What's the matter? Stage fright?" He taunted me. I keep struggling against him, getting nowhere.
"I don't want this." I spat. He gripped both my wrists with one hand and backhanded me. I cried out, dizzy. I looked at the wall behind him. This seems so familiar – déjà vu. Definitely an intense déjà vu feeling… "I don't want you." I pressed. "Let me go, Damon." I tried. I've been here before. I've done this before.
"You're mine."
"I don't want this, Damon. If you force me, it'll be rape." I said, in a last ditch effort.
"You're such a fucking cock-tease. You want this. You want me. You and every other woman think you can tease whoever you want or flaunt your body around without consequence. You can't! You're mine and I'm going to take you. You know you want it." He argued. I felt white, hot panic shoot through every pore in my body. He's serious. He's really going to do it. He tore off my panties and shoved his length inside. I screamed. I've been here before. He's done this before – exactly this. I remember. I can't escape. Oh, God!
"Bonnie," someone whispered. I can't see them. Why am I shaking? "Wake up, sweetheart." The voice finally registered. Klaus? My eyes shot opened and I screamed. I sat up; clutching the pocket knife I keep underneath my pillow. He tried to grab my arm, but I scrambled away from him and fell onto the floor. "I'm not going to hurt you, love." He whispered. He stepped towards me and I shook my head, frantically.
"Stop. Just stop. You can't sneak up on me. I-I don't… I don't handle it well." I pressed myself against the wall behind me and pushed myself up. I couldn't bring myself to meet Klaus' gaze. I felt too exposed and fled to the bathroom. "I need to shower. I'll be out in a bit." I told him, refusing to look over my shoulder.
I shut the door behind me and lock it. I fling off my clothes and flip on the water. I don't even wait for the water to heat up. I jump at the sudden cold. It heats up quickly and burns my skin. Still, I don't adjust it, just let it burn. Images from my memories keep flashing before me. I can't stop them. They're on repeat and refuse to let up.
I choked out a small sob and hit the shower wall. I got away from him and he's still controlling me. It's not fair. Nothing has been fair. I let myself cry for a minute longer before mopping my face and washing up. I'm stronger than that. Crying isn't going to fix anything. I don't have time to wallow in self-pity. I need to focus and fix my life. I let him take it from me and now I need to take it back.
I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I toweled off and put on my robe, cursing myself for not grabbing clean clothes. I threw my hair into a haphazard bun and left the bathroom to face Klaus. He didn't say anything, just watched me, quietly. I grabbed a clean pair of under-things and slipped them on under my robe. I turned away from Klaus and pulled on a pair of thick leggings, a bra and another oversized sweater. I sat down on the bed and faced him.
"I'm sorry." He broke the silence. He looks genuinely remorseful. I sighed.
"You didn't know. I know that you didn't do it on purpose." I told him. He nodded. "I can't deal with human contact sometimes. I'm jumpy. It's… too much." I told him.
"'Bekah was the same way for awhile. I should have known…"
"It's fine." I pressed.
"You're not fine, sweetheart."
"I will be… eventually."
"Would you like something that will help you sleep?" He asked me. I shook my head.
"I'm used to running on fumes." I told him. "I don't like feeling out of control like that. Thank you, but that won't be necessary." What is it about awkward situations that make people unnaturally polite? I mean, my God. Who talks like that, normally? No one. Certainly, not me.
"I was walking by your room when I heard you calling out." He explained. "I was going to let you be, but you kept screaming. I thought it best to wake you."
"Thank you." I offered. He bit back a laugh.
"It seems I've done more harm than good."
"I knew I was having a nightmare, but couldn't wake myself up. Thank you." I repeated. He nodded, letting it go.
"We'll talk more in the morning. You should try to get some rest, sweetheart." Klaus got up and moved toward the bedroom door. I jumped to my feet and put my hand on his arm to stop him.
"Please, stay." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I don't want to be alone tonight." I whispered. He looked like he was mulling something over in his mind.
"Then stay in my room. There's more than enough space and my bed is bigger." He suggested. I clamped my mouth shut. Did he? I don't want this to turn into something I'm not ready for. "Just to sleep, love. I'll keep my hands to myself. I promise." He gave me his word. I nodded.
"Okay."
"How can you bear to wear these clothes?" A voice floated into my ear. I stretched and opened my eyes, lazily. I can't remember the last time I got this much dreamless sleep. It's refreshing. "Honestly, I just don't understand." The voice forced me to focus. My eyes landed on Rebekah. She was rifling through my bag. I don't remember bringing it to Klaus' room. She must have picked it up from mine and brought it with her. I guess everyone gets curious.
"It's not like I was trying to stand out. I didn't want to be found. I brought clothes that were practical. They kept me warm and I could take off with a moment's notice wearing them." I told her, sitting up. I ran my fingers through my hair. My ponytail holder must've fallen out while I was sleeping.
"When you put it that way, it makes sense." She agreed. "You're far too pretty to keep wearing them. Come on, then. Let's take you shopping." She beamed, clapping her hands together. I chuckled and shook my head.
"I'm still a fugitive, remember? I can't." I told her. She clicked her tongue. "As soon as that's cleared up, I'll gladly go with you. Most of my clothes don't even fit anymore. I'm pretty sure I've slimmed down some since I've been on the run." I confessed.
"Please sweetie, I'm a Mikaelson. If I want to shop – I shop. Who said anything about going anywhere? I'll have my stylist come to the house. He's very discreet. If you're really that concerned, I'll have Mother clear it with our lawyer. Sound good?" She asked. I nodded. She's a little much, but I can see why Klaus is so attached to her. She cares in her own way. "I love having another woman around. It's already a nice change in dynamics." She smiled.
The days that followed passed in a blur. I was amazed at what the Mikaelson attorneys could accomplish in a week. There was no doubt in my mind that there were other players at work here, but I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to step foot in something I didn't understand.
At week's end, with my taped testimony, and the evidence thoroughly looked through by an unbiased party, I was cleared of all charges. Klaus had also managed to get a protective order for me against the entire Salvatore family. I was hazy on the details and wasn't too sure on what happened under the table, so I didn't ask.
All I knew is that I was free… But at what cost? I know Damon and I know he won't take this lying down. He is going to retaliate – there's no question. The question is how and when. Until then, I'm going to try and rebuild my life.
I've become so comfortable with the Mikaelson clan so quickly. It's not hard to fit in here. Ester reminds me a bit of my Grams. As for the rest of Klaus' siblings, they are the brothers and sisters I've never had. Kol flirts with me, relentlessly. Elijah is clearly the wise, older brother. And Rebekah, she's the sister that I've always yearned for.
True to her word, she took me shopping. I got a few business-casual outfits for interviews. I'm anxious to start working. I want to be connected to the real world. I miss it.
It helps to be around Rebekah. Just knowing that we've been through the same, awful life-experience is comforting. It's comforting knowing that she understands me. She knows what it feels like and she won't judge me. She remembers what it does to someone. Often times, I'll end up spending the night in her room and we'll talk until we fall asleep. It's so much easier when I don't have to deal with my fears alone. She's overcome so much and I aspire to be where she is at in her life.
Things with Klaus… Well, he hasn't pushed for anything. I'm not entirely sure that I really expected him to, but I can feel the chemistry between us. There is a deep lying, wanting that I'm afraid to touch. The last relationship I was in was disastrous. I'm in no hurry to begin anything new. But, I can't help wanting to. I'm friends with Klaus, but it feels like it goes beyond that. I feel… at ease around him. That's something I wasn't sure that I could ever get back around anyone, much less a man.
My mind is constantly filled to the brim with questions surround Klaus. Is he as gentle with women as he with me? Is he seeing anyone? Is he really as patient as he seems to be? How soft are his lips? And what would they feel like against my skin? Why does it feel so right when he holds me? Why am I so scared to start a relationship with him? When he looks at me, why do I feel like the only woman in the world?
He scares me and entices me with equal measure. I crave his company. I've decided to go with my initial gut decision – to take things slow with a glacial pace. Rushing things has never worked in my favor; I doubt it would start now.
If things really are clicking that well between the two of us, they'll still be right when I'm ready. He said that he's a patient man – I'll put that to the test.
I have an awful, sick feeling in my stomach. I know things are going to continue to get worse before they are truly better. I hate waiting and not knowing. It's the hardest part.
~*.*~
'Monster, how should I feel?
Creatures lie here, looking through the window.
I will hear their voices.
I'm a glass child – I am Hannah's regrets.
Monster, how should I feel?
Turn the sheets down.
Murder ears with pillow lace.
There's bathtubs filled with glow flies.
Bathe in kerosene.
Their words tattooed in his veins – yeah.'
~*.*~
A/N: Just a quick note: I'm not abandoning my stories, but updates are probably going to be limited to once every two weeks. More than likely, I'll be updating all of my stories at on the same day. Thank you for your patience!
Here's another chapter for you. More drama next chapter! Reviews would be fabulous. Stay tuned!
-Anneryn