Chapter 2:

Part 1

Hachikuji is not having a fine day. She has just managed to shake off her old childhood friend (still indefinitely plagued with Chuunibyou) who tried to make her read one of his "literary works"; basically poorly written fanfiction based off of historical literature. Hachikuji can painfully remember a time in middle school where she would have gladly reviewed it and occasionally even wrote some pieces with him, but that's all in the past.

Walking into the clubroom, Hachikuji can only foresee her mood worsening in the near future.

"Hello, Ice King."

"Good afternoon, Dead Fish Eyes." Yukinoshita replies without looking up from his book. It seems to be a different volume this time. "You look as depressed as ever. Perhaps you should learn a thing or two from Yuigahama-san and brighten up a bit."

"Sharp as ever, your highness. Maybe you should put your words into practice and make a few frie-"

Just as their bickering starts, the basis of their insults bursts into the room.

"Yahallo, Hikigaya-san, Yukinon!"

"Yahallo"? The heck is that? Can I eat it?

"Y-Yukinon? Of all the crude forms of address... anyway, good afternoon." Yukinoshita forces a smile at the beaming Yuigahama. It has been a while since Yuigahama started attending the Service club regularly, but Yukinoshita has yet to get used to the blindingly bright aura Yuigahama introduces to the normally dreary room.

Yuigahama trots over to his seat and sits down, placing his bag on the new table Hiratsuka-sensei forced them to drag from the back of the class. According to her, the Service Club was granted a budget after Yuigahama joined, as it was able to fulfill the school's minimum requirement of 3 people to form a recognised club. In other words, Hachikuji was coerced into joining an illegitimate club, and is now unable to leave.

Best of all, now she's saddled with a stupid bet that she cannot afford to lose. A stupid bet over what? The right to insult the club president? The position of 'superior individual'? All this over a childish act of self-gratification, Hachikuji realises in a moment of abrupt horror. I'm playing right into the sophistry I pledged to avoid.

Hachikuji's train of thought is interrupted by the sudden exclamation from Yuigahama. Yukinoshita, similarly disturbed, abandons his book. Both of them stare at them orange haired boy, the mere prospect of something being too distressing for Yuigahama chilling them to their bones. Is it a school shooting? Has the principal died?

Yuigahama turns to them with a look of mild puzzlement which quickly morphs into an awkward smile. "Ah, it's this." He holds his phone screen up and turns it around to allow both of them to see a chain message. Things like these appear all the time, especially involving individuals in the top caste, but few of them slander multiple individuals at the same time. Beyond the level of a mere rumour, Hachikuji can see that this particular chain mail was written with the intent to degrade the individuals in question and upset the hierarchy itself. I could learn a thing or two from this.

"Why would you be this disturbed by a chain mail slandering Hayama-kun's close friends?" Yukinoshita asks, oddly interested. "I believe things like these appear frequently enough."

"Well yeah... but this is the third one today. The student who wrote this was trying to bring down Tobe-kun, Ooka-kun and Yamato-kun at the same time. He's probably trying to distance them from Hayato-kun..."

"I still don't see the problem," interjects a confused Yukinoshita, but Hachikuji instantly understands. Any social issue concerning the top riajuu of the school would be troublesome to deal with. Best of luck, Hayama! At least she won't have anything to do with-

"Hayato-kun's livelihood is at stake here! We're the service club, aren't we? We've gotta do something about this!" Right on cue, Yuigahama makes his grand proposal with fiery determination in his eyes. Wait, does that mean you were distressed out of genuine concern for your friend? Wow, and here I was thinking we reached an understanding. Also, why do we have to get involved?

"I refuse," she snips. "We are an official club formed to help with the major problems of our fellow students. Tracking chain mail is too trivial for our attention. Also, it's troublesome."

Yukinoshita narrows his eyes. "Somehow I feel like you only meant that last line. But I concur. We should not interfere with matters outside our requests." As if on cue, the clubroom door slides open to reveal the great Hayama Hayato in the flesh.

Hachikuji groans internally. If only things would just go her way for once, maybe she wouldn't be such a pessimistic person. That's probably not happening, though.

Part 2

Hayama flashes his riajuu smile that has no doubt tamed raging storms and charmed countless hearts. It has a sheepish undertone; Hachikuji wonders how much favour he has curried with it.

"Yukio, what a pleasant surprise! Man, I had no idea you'd be in this club." Oi, what's with that elitist attitude? You only greet the student with the same Grade Point Average, is that it?

Upon meeting eyes with Hachikuji, Hayama gives a small, nervous laugh. "Ah... it's not like that. Our parents know each other, so..." Taking elitism to the corporate level already, huh. As expected of the school's biggest Riajuu. Or maybe he's just trying to say they've known each other for a long time... nah. Elitist bastard.

"I suppose you're here about the chain mail Yuigahama-san was telling us about." Yukinoshita closes his eyes and crosses his legs.

Surprised, Hayama gives another small laugh. "So you already know about that? That saves a lot of trouble. You see, it's a really important matter if someone is spreading insults about my friends and I'd wish for it to stop as soon as possible..."

Hachikuji interrupts to highlight what she is more interested in . "But why is someone slandering your friends in the first place?"

"Huh?" The three guys in the room turn around to stare blankly at Hachikuji. Did I miss something?

"The upcoming workplace visit. You know, the one that requires us to form groups of three?"

Ah, I see. Around this time of year, second years are required to fill in their career surveys and make their way in groups to the associated workplaces for an excursion. While Hachikuji just intended to hand in another essay demeaning the purpose of this activity and excuse herself from school under the pretense of visiting the workplace of a housewife, it seemed that her classmates on the upper echelons of campus saw this as an important event where forming groups is equivalent to choosing sides on the battlefield.

"Right. Just to clarify, your request is for us to smoke out the culprit and expose him in the most brutal way possible, is that right?" Yukinoshita asks, fire and brimstone set aflame in his piercing blue eyes. Scary! What's up with boys getting so determined over such stupid things?

Hayama looks at him, shock evident on his face. "Of course not! I simply want him to stop, is all..."

"I see." And now the flaming orbs are turned to Hayama. "Is that why you chose the service club, for the secrecy? You deduced that we were an insignificant organisation and hence capable of keeping this situation under wraps while solving your personal problems. You want your lackey to stop slandering the other members of your social circle, and yet you refuse to call him out, only desiring to maintain all your farcical relationships. That sounds just like you."

Yuigahama looks ready to intervene, as usual. Hachikuji simply sits back and enjoys the show, watching the emotions cycle across Hayama's face. Shock, mainly. Hachikuji doesn't understand what there is to be so shocked about. She would have said the exact same thing, only that she isn't as pissed off by the 'insignificant organisation' bit as Yukinoshita currently is. Man, if looks could kill...

Hayama eventually settles for sadness and puts on a melancholic face that Hachikuji is sure has convinced multiple girls of his non-existent troubled past. He couples it with yet another nervous laugh. "Yeah... suppose it was pretty unreasonable to ask for that. Do it however you want, I guess. But at the very least, make the messages stop. Please? Not just for me, but for my friends too."

Hachikuji absolutely hates people like Hayama, people who fake their desires and emotions just because others expect them to. But here he puts on a face of genuine earnestness that suddenly makes Hachikuji -strong, cool lone wolf Hachikuji who has spent the entirety of her high school life scoffing at those idiots at the top of the social hierarchy- feel inferior. Inferior in what way? she wonders.

Part 3

For the next few days, Hachikuji couldn't help but observe Hayama and Yuigahama, who are now working together to observe the friends around them. Yumiko, obviously bothered by Yuigahama's presence, has made her existence in the clubroom scarce and often disappeared with her friends during recess rather than doing her usual territory-marking rituals. This also gives Hachikuji some peace of mind as she watches the two, who exchange serious glances every few minutes or so, drawing curious looks from the rest of Hayama's clique.

Of course, nobody dares to ask Hayama about it. A group in which all the relationships are centred around one person cannot be truly called a group, Hachikuji decides. It's more like a pack of lions, with women and children existing to serve the alpha male, the only benefit of doing so being the right to see his glorious mane up close.

As the "undercover" investigation proceeds, Hachikuji feels herself nodding off. In her peripheral vision, she sees Yuigahama and Hayama walk out of the room, leaving the three of Hayama's friends behind. Hachikuji sighs; she finally has time to take a nap. Wait a second. I could have done this all along. Why was I so concerned about them in the first place?

"Hey, don't you think Hayama's being, like, a bit close to Yuichi?"

The sudden question jolts Hachikuji awake, who nearly knees the desk in surprise.

"You get it, bro! Honestly I think so too."

"Man, it would totally suck if Hayama were to choose Yuichi for the visit, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, it would be a waste of a visit!"

The three boys fall back into petty small talk as Hachikuji feels a nagging voice at the back of her mind telling her something was amiss. She decides not to follow this train of thought, pushing it back into the subconscious where it belongs. She then returns to her (much-needed) slumber.

When Yuigahama walks into the clubroom later that day, he is obviously displeased. Yukinoshita, noting the obvious change in his demeanor, looks up at him.

"What happened to you?"

Yuigahama nearly jumps, almost as if he wasn't expecting the question. Something is seriously wrong with him. He flashes a nervous smile and replies, "Well, you see..." Yuigahama holds up his phone to reveal another email.

"It's still spreading? Well, that's to be expected of a chain mail." Yukinoshita picks up the book he has set on the table to continue reading.

"It's about me."

The silence in the clubroom is deafening. Yukinoshita pauses, hands frozen on the book cover.

Looks like Hachikuji's gut feeling wasn't misplaced. Men can be just as spiteful as women, when the occasion calls for it. Hachikuji feels an inappropriate sense of relief; the commitment to becoming a loner comes with many perks, the absence of a need to deal with such issues being one of them. "Well, it was bound to happen, with you and Hayama clinging to each other like that."

Yuigahama blushes. "We weren't clinging to each other! Besides, I have no intention of being in the same group as Hayato-kun."

Almost on cue, Hayama walks into the clubroom, wearing his usual infectious smile. It seems he hasn't received the chainmail yet.

"Tell that to Hayama's friends, not to me." Annoyed, Hachikuji continues the conversation with Yuigahama. Wait, why am I annoyed? Because Yuigahama got hurt? Hachikuji shakes off these traitorous thoughts and focuses on the question at hand, looking back up at the boy.

"My friends?" Hayama cuts in, unaware of the unfolding situation. "They're still in the classroom, if you want to talk to them."

"Then maybe I will." Agitated by Hachikuji's provocative reply, Yuigahama turns around and makes his way for the door. After burying her head in her hands to sigh, Hachikuji gets up and rushes past Hayama. Yukinoshita stands up, flames burning in his icy eyes yet again.

"Wha-"

Things are getting out of hand.

Part 4

By the time Hachikuji gets to the classroom, she can already hear the argument inside. Stopping outside the classroom, she decides to eavesdrop. Being a loner, she isn't bound to the meaningless restrictions of morality, after all.

"What do you mean, stop? Are you framing us of sending that chainmail of you? That's, like, super unjustified!"

"I'm not framing all of you, I'm just saying that whoever's doing it..." Yuigahama's exasperated voice is close to breaking.

"So you are accusing us! Just 'cos you think you're closer to Hayama than us now, you start trying to pull us into this mess? You telling us to back off or somethin'?"

Hachikuji winces as she hears a table topple, and a startled cry from Yuigahama. This isn't good. She will have to step in soon.

"Are you trying to mess with our group?"

"I'm not! You've got it all wrong-" Another crash. Resorting to violence because there's nobody else in the classroom, Hachikuji thinks. Real mature.

Are guys really that useless? What is Yuigahama doing? At the rate this is going, Yuigahama will end up being saved by a girl (only assuming her efforts go well), which will only spark more rumours in the months to come. Hachikuji leans back against the clubroom door, contemplating her possible courses of action. Another crash comes from the classroom, sending vibrations through the door and through Hachikuji's body by proxy. Sighing, she gets up and steps into the classroom.

As expected, the room is in complete disarray. Yuigahama is on the ground wincing, with a mess of toppled chairs and tables around him. Hayama's three friends, who stand surrounding Yuigahama, all turn to Hachikuji. Hachikuji could almost feel their sharp gazes piercing through her, causing her to stumble back in shock.

"Yuigahama-san is not going to be in the same group as Hayama-"

"As if we'd believe that! Stay out of this, Hikitani-san!"

This isn't the first time people have accidentally addressed the invisible "Hikitani-san" in the room instead of herself when talking to her. Hachikuji would've asked who this mysterious "Hikitani-san" was, but she has far more important matters to address.

"As I was saying, I know this for a fact because he will be in the same group as me."

…

"HUH?"

You didn't have to join in, Yuigahama. You're hurting this fragile maiden's feelings.

"You heard me correctly. Yuigahama Yuichi will be in the same group as me, and will not be in a group with Hayama. Let's go, Yuigahama-san." Yuigahama, slightly disoriented, stumbles to get up. He pats himself down and starts limping towards Hachikuji.

"Let's go." Repeating herself, Hachikuji grabs Yuigahama's hand, forcefully yanking him out of the classroom, leaving Hayama's three stunned friends behind. What a pain, Hachikuji thinks, annoyed that she had to break up a fight of all things. She is in no mood to speak to Yuigahama, who is now stumbling behind Hachikuji while attempting to make apologies. She barely notices as Yukinoshita brushes past her, and only stops when Hayama stands in the middle of the hallway, blocking her path.

"What happened?" Hayama asks, evidently shocked. Yuigahama winces and clutches at his ribs.

Hachikuji sees red, but only for a moment. She is definitely in full control of her emotions here. "Can't you see? Your dearest friends did this."

Hayama's expression darkens, and he makes a move to get past Hachikuji. "I'll go talk to them."

This time, it is Hachikuji who blocks the way.

"After I had to break up a fight this idiot got himself into, do you really want to make things worse? Are you so impulsive that you would walk straight into a fucking fire?" Hachikuji barely keeps herself from shouting, even though it wouldn't make much of a difference at this point. So much for being in full control of her emotions.

Hayama steps back, hissing in frustration. "Then what am I supposed to do? Hikigaya-san, I appreciate all your efforts thus far, but I can't trouble you guys any more. I knew I should have done something before it got this serious..."

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Huh? Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"I was about to, but a certain someone tried to take matters into his own hands." She hisses. Why is she so pissed, anyway? It's a mystery even to herself.

Yuigahama lowers his head in shame.

…

Yukinoshita blandly surveys the scene in front of him. The three loudmouths who roughed Yuigahama up didn't even bother to clean up the mess they made, and are now trying (in vain) to justify their actions. To each other, no less, which makes the activity even less pointless.

"Dude. Didn't we, like, just behave like delinquents or somethin'? Hayato-kun's totally gonna hear about this, isn't he?"

"We didn't rough him up that much, did we? We'll just say it was a misunderstanding, or something..."

"It's not our fault... not completely, I mean, Yuichi was totally to blame for messing things up in the first place-"

"No." The three of them start and gaze at the figure in the doorway, looking very much like children caught in the act of stealing from the cookie jar. Pathetic, Yukinoshita thinks.

"Don't blame the result of your impulsiveness on the actions of someone else. No matter how you look at this situation, the blame is entirely yours. Driven to violence just because you allegedly lost Hayama-kun's favour? He is a pitiful man who has no need of your hero worship, and you are pathetic dogs undeserving of his approval."

"That's, like, totally untru... wait, aren't you Yumiko's stalker dude? From that stupid service club? What do you even know about us? You-"

"Silence. I despise people who fail to stand up to their misgivings. I despise people who blame others for their own mistakes even more. But most importantly..." his glower is uncannily similar to his father's signature glare, known for bringing opposing political representatives to their knees. "You harmed a member of the service club who was in the middle of fixing the mess you created, just because he assumed the moral high ground. You picked on him for being the better man."

Gazing at their ashen faces, he spits, "I despise people like you the most."

Yukinoshita walks out, leaving behind an air of dead silence.

My spiel might have been a tad too subjective, he contemplates. Also, as an outsider, I had no logical need to berate them like that...

Why did I do it? He wonders.

…

Hachikuji smirks upon seeing Yukinoshita walk out of the classroom. Considering the events that have conspired, it is probably time to call it a day.

"See," she says to Hayama. "You didn't need to do a thing."

Part 5

School ends, and everyone stays back to finalise their workplace visit groupings. The students mill around, taking turns to write their names on the blackboard.

Hayama is already planning where to go with Yumiko and her friend Ebina. He approved of Hachikuji's solution, agreeing that forcing his three desperate friends to form a separate group was a stroke of genius. Frankly, instead of making her blush and scream like any other girl in the school would, his praise rather annoyed Hachikuji. She would rather concern herself with the fact that she had failed to come up with such an obvious solution sooner, than any vague notion that Hayama enjoyed her presence - a status most other girls would kill to achieve.

Hachikuji, still seated at her desk, buries her head in her arms again. (Why does she do it so much these days?) Yuigahama has already written their names down. Suddenly, a loud rap sounds on Hachikuji's table, making her instinctively sit up straight and stare at the person standing in front of her.

It's Hiratsuka-sensei. "Is it fine if I put another person in you and Yuigahama's group? Yuigahama already agreed."

Well, it doesn't matter either way. Hachikuji will probably stay at home on the day itself anyway. She nods.

And from behind Hiratsuka-sensei, the most adorable girl Hachikuji has ever seen steps out.

And then, the girl begins to speak in the cutest voice Hachikuji has ever heard.

"My name is Totsuka Saika. Nice to meet you! Sorry for troubling your group..." Blushing, the girl looks down at her shoes. She's dressed in boyish sports attire, for some reason. Totally ruins her feminine charm. In fact, if she were a boy, Hachikuji would probably ask her out and get rejected immediately.

Maybe Hachikuji should go for a gender change.

"N-No! It's not a problem at all! In fact, I'm pretty relieved to have such a c-cute girl in my group! It would be really awkward if it was just me and Yuigahama, 'ya know..." Hachikuji, panicking, lets the Kansai dialect she never had slip out.

"...Hikigaya, Totsuka is a guy."

Oh gosh, sensei, what a tasteless joke!

"Y-yeah, I'm a guy, though a lot of people mistake me for a girl..." Totsuka blushes even more and replies with the voice of an angel. A heavenly angel. An archangel, made to sing the praises of God day and night.

…

Wait, what?

Forget the gender change! Change back! Hachikuji realises that, for the first time in her life, her dead eyes aren't just full of fish oil; they are full of divine olive oil from the heavens.

Wait a sec. He's a guy, so it's ok to... no, wait. He looks like a girl, so it would be weird to... but wait. He's a guy! Upon diving past the point of no return into the sea of deep contemplation, Hachikuji fishes out a wonderful circular argument that throws all hormonal and ethical issues to the side. This is, undoubtedly, love in its purest form.

So it turns out things have indeed gone her way for once, a somewhat dazed Hachikuji thinks. She's still a pessimist, though.

…

The three of them stroll out the school compound, Yuigahama and Totsuka engaged in excited conversation. Watching their discourse, Hachikuji can't help but feel a pang of guilt. As the only member of the class who lacks enthusiasm for this trip, could she be holding them back? It's not like either of them had a choice to join her group...

And Yuigahama. Especially Yuigahama. Ulterior motives aside, she cannot comprehend why he puts in so much effort just to interact with her. She knows for a fact that literally any other girl is more suited for him than she is... right?

Breaking her train of thought, Hachikuji notices that Komachi is waiting for her at the front gate. After a hasty goodbye, Hachikuji runs over.

"Yo, onee-chan!"

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, you know, school ended early so I came to meet you here!" Komachi announces like the little ball of sunshine that she is, flashing a 100 point smile. If Hachikuji were a boy, no doubt she would be fighting to control her siscon instincts. Instead, she smiles back.

"By the way, I didn't think you'd actually get in touch with him. You really surprise me sometimes, onee-chan!" Another brilliant smile. This time Hachikuji disregards it completely.

"'Him'? Who are you talking about?"

Komachi's smile does not waver, but her voice begins to sound uncertain. "The owner of the dog! You know, the one you broke your leg saving?"

…

What?

The pieces begin to fall together in Hachikuji's head.

END OF CHAPTER 2