A/N: Here's another chapter for you all. I've been binging on VD all day. I'm not even halfway through season five, but I'm trying to catch up so I'll be ready in time for season six. Anywho, that's enough rambling. Hope you enjoy it.
I DO NOT OWN THE ORIGINALS, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, OR THE CHARACTERS.
Music Credit: "Numb" – Linkin Park
~*.*~
'Can't you see that you're smothering me – holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?
'Cause everything that you thought I would be, has fallen apart right in front of you…
Every step that I take is another mistake to you.
And every second I waste is more than I can take…'
~*.*~
Chapter Nine:
I jerked awake. I looked around the room and saw sleeping Mikaelsons. I don't even remember falling asleep. Klaus stirred next to me, but Kol didn't budge, when I sat up. I rubbed my face and wondered if Kol minded that I used him as a pillow last night. I grimaced as my head tried to self-combust. I stifled a groan as I got to my feet.
The memories of Damon… The dreams… nightmares… remembering how everything felt… The helplessness and his obsessive need for control… it's suffocating. Everything feels suffocating.
I ran out of the room and made my way to mine. I need a shower. I need to focus on anything else. I barely saw my surroundings as I turned on the shower in my bathroom. I jumped when the door slammed closed, behind me. I turned and saw Klaus staring at me.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to shut it that hard. I wanted to make sure that you were alright, after last night." Klaus apologized. I shrugged, not really sure what to say to him or how to answer. I was just grateful that I hadn't started to take off my clothes yet. I hugged my arms across my chest and tried to slow my breathing.
"I don't know what I'm feeling." I told him, truthfully. I just feel empty… void… numb. It's almost like I can't feel. I've felt too much and I've hit my limit. I don't know whether to welcome it or try to break through it.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked me. I shook my head. I wouldn't even know how to begin. How am I supposed to explain something that I don't even understand myself?
"No," I whispered. He nodded. Klaus looks like he wants to press it, but he didn't. He let it drop, like I asked. I wish I could appreciate the effort that he's putting in right now. I just can't.
"Would you like me to wait in your room for you?" He offered. I nodded, hurriedly. It's nice knowing that he'll be here. Maybe after I shower, I'll be able to feel something – anything – more than the nothingness… the emptiness.
"If you want to… I'm just going to grab some clothes."
Finally, the void began to fade and my mind strayed to Mystic Falls. I went through the motions of taking my shower. I couldn't help but miss Matt and Caroline. I've pushed them from my mind for so long… My heart hurts. Caroline can be a little narcotic, but no one has a bigger heart or cares as much as she does. Matt was always overlooked, by so many people. He's so much stronger than anyone ever gave him credit for.
I turned off the water and dried off. I wanted to talk to them. I need to. More than anything, I want to be able to talk to them, just to make sure that they're okay. I hope that Caroline didn't get hit with any backfire because of Damon. She really stuck her neck out for me, when she gave me what I needed to disappear and get out of town.
It's nice to be able to feel… even if it is heartache.
I put my hair up and threw my clothes on. I cringed at the lack of material. I wasn't paying attention when I grabbed the clothes. I took a deep breath, before I went out to see Klaus clad in a tank top and short cotton shorts. I fidgeted with my fingers and tried to ignore how naked I felt. Klaus looked at me, but didn't say anything. I breezed past him and put on the sweater that I was itching for.
"What's upsetting you, love?" Klaus asked me. I sat down on my bed next to him.
"In Mystic Falls, I had friends." I told him, quietly.
"And you want to go back," he guessed. I shook my head.
"I'm not ready to go back. I'm not sure that I'll ever be ready. There are too many bad memories. I just…" I tried to explain. I took a deep breath and explained how much my friendship with Caroline and Matt meant to me. I told him about growing up with them and how Caroline helped me flee.
"What is it that you want?" He asked me, softly.
"I just want to hear their voices." I replied, just as quietly. His face softened.
"Do you want to call them?" He asked. I nodded.
"More than anything," I breathed.
"That can be arranged, love."
I held his phone in my hands for an hour. I just sat staring at the phone. I'm nervous. I've never felt safe enough to call them before. I just… here… I… I think I'm ready. I just… I need to know that they're okay. I took a deep breath and trembled as I dialed Matt's number. I want to talk to him first.
"Hello?" He answered. My voice caught and I started crying. He sounds exactly the same. "Hello?" He repeated himself.
"M-Matt," I breathed.
"Bonnie? Is that you?!"
"Matt, I'm so sorry that I didn't call you sooner." I cried.
"Are you okay? I've been worried sick since you left town. I know that you said you were leaving, but I never thought it would be that fast. Please tell me that you're okay." He pleaded.
"I'm… I'm in a safe place, Matt. Klaus Mikaelson, he and his family have been helping me. He's the one that caught the charges dropped. When I left… I never imagined that Damon would try to frame me for murder. I wanted to call you so many times… I just… I didn't want you to get hurt because of me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself… I couldn't let you get hurt. God. I miss you, so much, Matt."
"Bonnie, don't do this to yourself. Don't blame yourself. I get it. I get why you did what you did. I'm so relieved to know that you're okay. Don't worry about Damon. I'm not even a blip on his radar. Don't do anything stupid. Okay? Don't come back to Mystic Falls. It won't be safe while the Salvatores are here."
"I won't Matt." I promised.
"Good. I love you, Bon. Don't be a stranger. Okay? Keep in touch this time. I won't tell anyone that we're talking. I won't give Damon anymore ways to hurt you." He swore.
"I love you, too, Matt. God, I miss you. I promise to keep in touch. You're the best friend a girl could ask for." I told him. He laughed.
"Call me again, soon."
"I will." I promised him, before hanging up. I sat on the bed and cried happy tears. He's okay. Thank God. He's okay. One call down, one more to go… I dialed Caroline's number and pressed the phone to my ear.
"Who is this?" She answered. I let out a shaky breath of relief.
"Care, it's me." I breathed.
"Oh, my God! Bonnie?! I was hoping that since the charges were dropped that I would hear something from you! I've missed you, so much! Please, tell me that you're okay!" She exclaimed.
"Care, I'm okay. I just can't come back. Damon's still a threat. I miss you and I really needed to hear your voice."
"God, Bon, thank God, you're okay. I miss you. I miss my best friend."
"I miss you… so much. Care, you're the sister that I never had."
"Is it safe for you to keep in touch? I don't think that I can deal with not hearing from you, again. The worst case scenarios always run through my mind on repeat."
"I promise."
"Good. Stay safe, okay? I gotta go. I love you, Bon."
"I'll try. Take care, Caroline. I love you." I told her, before I hung up.
"How did it go, sweetheart?" Klaus asked me as I handed his phone back to him. I leaned forward and hugged him, instead of answering.
"Are you and Rebekah okay?" I deflected. He stiffened, before squeezing me back.
"She's been through enough, without me making it any worse." He replied. I nodded, before pulling away. He stroked the side of my face. "You can count on this, love."
"What's that?" I asked, looking up at him.
"Damon Salvatore is going to wish that he was dead."
~*.*~
'I've become so numb – I can't feel you there.
I've become so tired, so much more aware.
I'm becoming this…
All I want to do – is be more like me – and be less like you.'
~*.*~
A/N: Thank you for all the feedback! If you read, please review.
Love,
Anneryn