Part 1
Hachikuji's phone buzzes for the fifth time in three minutes. Lying on the sofa amidst the blistering summer heat, she attempts to groan until her larynx gives up. No doubt Hiratsuka-sensei has heard of her embarrassing emotional outburst and is desperate to bring her wayward pupil back onto the right path. Hachikuji would feel guilty about it, if not for the fact that this is Hiratsuka-sensei who probably has nothing better to do.
Succeeding on the third attempt to roll over, she picks up her vibrating phone.
4 missed calls from Hiratsuka Shizuka.
3 new messages from Hiratsuka Shizuka.
"You didn't answer my call. Are you asleep?"
"Stop faking. Answer your phone."
"I'll kill you, seriously. Answer your phone."
A chill runs down Hachikuji's spine. She can only hope the afterlife will have shounen manga. But she's at home, so at least she'll be able to say her goodbyes to Komachi before Hiratsuka-sensei comes over to murder her in cold blood. With that reassuring and highly optimistic thought in mind, Hachikuji returns the call.
As expected, Hiratsuka-sensei picks up immediately. "Oi, where are you?"
This doesn't sound like the prelude to a lecture. But this is Hiratsuka-sensei, who considers manga as part of Japanese literature, so at this point, anything is possible. "At home," she replies.
"I'm having the service club help out in a summer camp. Did Yukinoshita not tell you?" Ah. So Yukinoshita and Yuigahama are there. Indeed, now that she strains her ears, Hachikuji can hear their pleas in the background.
"Please stop, sensei. This is not the right time to..."
"Hikigaya-san is not in her best state right now, sensei. Please don't..."
Their efforts fell flat, not unexpectedly. "So?" Hiratsuka-sensei barks. "You coming or not?"
Good news: Hiratsuka-sensei doesn't seem to know about my temper tantrum. Bad news: She doesn't need that knowledge to make my life miserable.
This calls for serious contemplation. On one hand, the unholy fear of the demonic entity that is Hiratsuka-sensei has long seeped into every fibre of her being. On the other hand, complying will mean spending a few days with Yukinoshita and Yuigahama. Childish as it may seem, Hachikuji is not prepared to face them just yet. "I..."
A hand on her shoulder. It's Komachi.
"You don't have to talk to her if you don't want to, Onee-chan. Komachi will handle it for you!" Flashing a deceivingly bright grin, Komachi takes the cellphone and walks into her room.
Hachikuji cannot hear the conversation that takes place afterwards, but perhaps that is for the best. Hiratsuka-sensei appears to be sniffling when excusing her from club activities over the phone afterwards.
She should really stop relying on others for everything, Hachikuji thinks while burying her face into the sofa. Despite being an extremely-cute-Yandere-Imouto figure, Komachi is still her little sister and should be depending on her, not the other way round.
...I really am useless, aren't I?
Part 2
For the following few weeks, Hachikuji repeatedly resists the urge to contact Yukinoshita and Yuigahama. She doesn't know when the summer camp ends, and who knows what summer activities they are getting involved in afterwards? They'll have no time to provide or entertain an apology.
She knows she's just making excuses. Hachikuji has always taken pride in her ability to criticize herself, as this minimizes the chance of hypocrisy. Even more so, she revels in the fact that she has accepted every single one of her weaknesses by refusing to change her rotten personality. Bit by bit, this unwavering pride has begun to crumble.
So when Yukinoshita contacts her two weeks before summer ends, she doesn't quite know how to respond.
Naturally, he sounds just as nervous as she is. "Well... Yuigahama-san's birthday passed a few weeks ago. Before summer holidays started, actually. As the Service Club's president, I found it needful for us to celebrate it, albeit belatedly." Discouraged by Hachikuji's lack of response, he clears his throat as if mustering the courage to go on. "Hence, I was wondering if you are free to accompany me and purchase his birthday present on Saturday."
So basically he wanted to ask me out. Hachikuji's heartrate increases drastically, ignoring any attempt she made to bring it back to one that was rationally acceptable.
"I'll call you back," she mumbles and hangs up immediately. She is definitely not ready for this.
This is an overreaction, isn't it. In the first place, it's not like Yukinoshita did anything wrong. Telling his club members about his role in the accident was his choice to make, and so was the decision to trust his club members. It was just that his actions had not matched Hachikuji's ideal of him. Always talking about how he's the club president and everything in the club is his responsibility, never afraid of being criticized or ostracized, and yet he couldn't trust his club members not to shun him? Stop screwing around! "I never lie", my ass...
Hachikuji shakes her head vigorously. Now isn't the time to make her chaotic emotions worse. She's just overreacting, she repeats inwardly. At any rate, he wants to make things better, doesn't he? She should cooperate. But...
Her head is such a mess.
Out of the corner of her eye, Komachi exits her room and heads for the front door.
"Ah, Onee-chan. Komachi was just about to go buy some eggs! Would you like to join me?"
"Yeah, sure." Hachikuji stands up too quickly, sending a rush of blood to her already-addled brain and creating black spots in her vision. When she comes to, Komachi is staring at her with a mildly concerned expression.
"Onee-chan, are you okay?"
"Y-yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well, I was expecting you to refuse like you always do. You almost never step outside the house, aside from for school."
Why'd you ask, then? "Whatever, let's go already."
Part 3
The purchase is short and simple, making Hachikuji wonder why she accepted Komachi's offer. Perhaps she thought the walk would help to clear her head? It's a mystery even to herself.
The walk back is just as uneventful, prompting Hachikuji to distract herself with her surroundings. The soft evening breeze ruffles her her. Amidst the setting sun's orange glow and the illuminations from street lamps, streams of people flow from place to place. So many individuals, each with their own lives, relationships and personal issues.
Gazing at this mass of individuals, Hachikuji suddenly feels insignificant. Do her conflicts with Yukinoshita and Yuigahama even matter in the grand scheme of things? Have her actions and issues ever made a ripple in someone else's life?
Should she even be caring about such things? In the first place, it is her own unreasonable emotions that have gotten her into this mess. These people have a workplace to go to in the morning, and a home to return to in the evening. Their emotions don't affect their lives or the issues they face. Perhaps she should do the same and detach herself from her problems-
Breaking her train of thought, Komachi turns to her. "It's a blessing to have someone welcome you at home, isn't it?"
"Well... I guess. It probably doesn't apply to every situation though."
Komachi makes a face. "Onee-chan, your cute little sister was trying to be sentimental. At least try to play along." Her smile looks especially suspicious in the fading sunlight. "So, what's bothering you?"
You planned this all along, didn't you. "Nothing much. Just, y'know, personal issues... that kind of stuff. Yeah. It's not that important."
"Nonsense!" her adorable little sister replies with a flourish. "This is the first time Komachi has seen you so bothered by personal issues, so it's gotta be serious! So, spill it!"
There's still a while left until they reach the house, and Komachi probably won't drop the subject until she gets answers, so why not? Hachikuji tells her little sister about her issues with Yukinoshita and Yuigahama, and how her emotions are getting in the way of resolving these issues. Originally intending to summarize and downplay her problems in typical Hachikuji fashion, she ends up spilling much more than she can account for. Throughout the spiel, Komachi listens with a smile on her face.
"I don't think there's anything wrong with that, Onee-chan," she says finally. "Everyone's problems are caused by emotions in some way."
"You don't understand." Hachikuji mumbles. "I don't even care about those two guys that much, but my emotions are preventing us from interacting normally, not to mention resolving our issues. And given our shallow relationships, these issues aren't significant enough to be worth solving in the first place."
Komachi laughs, like the clear peal of a bell that floats through the evening air. "Emotions aren't something that only other people have, Onee-chan. I'm sure what you're going through has happened to everyone at some point. Also, I'm sure these relationships of yours are worth fixing, seeing as it's been bothering you for so long."
"I-I'm fine with the way we are right now," huffs Hachikuji, even though she doesn't believe her own words. "Besides, I've chosen the path of a lone wolf, detached from all aspects of society. It's not like I'll be able to make much of a difference."
"There you go, looking down on yourself again." When Hachikuji turns to look at her sister, she is surprised to see Komachi wearing a sad smile. "You make an impact in the lives around you whether you want to or not, Onee-chan. Komachi's life isn't perfect, but at least when I go home every day, there's always an older sister with dead fish eyes to welcome me back. That's always been one of the things I'm grateful for.
"Your actions may not change anything in the grand scheme of things, but they'll definitely affect your clubmates. I'm sure Yukio-san and Yuichi-san want to resolve things with you too. At the very least, Komachi thinks you should give it a shot."
Hachikuji spends the rest of the walk home in silence while Komachi cheerily rambles on about her day. Does she want to fix her relationships? Could it be that her clubmates want to fix these relationships as much as she does? There's only one way to find out.
She messages Yukinoshita when she gets home.
Part 4
According to Komachi, the girl's role for a date is simple; dress up nicely, turn up 15 minutes late and apologise. It is the boy's role to say "It's fine, I just got here", insist on paying for everything, insist on carrying everything, escort the girl home afterwards and offer the prospect of another date in future.
This blatant abuse of gender stereotypes greatly irritated Hachikuji, so she turns up at the mall 15 minutes early instead. Her irritation grows when she notices that Yukinoshita is already there.
He looks up, and Hachikuji can see the uncertainty on his face; no doubt he is unsure of what to say, given their situation. He eventually settles with an observation.
"...You're early, Hikigaya-san."
Even though she is wearing the clothes that Komachi lovingly picked out for her 'date', Hachikuji feels momentarily uncomfortable. Seeing Yukinoshita so unsure of himself is certainly not helping to restore her already-shattered image of him.
"Y-yeah. You didn't wait long, did you?"
"O-of course not. I just got here..."
Hachikuji's left eye twitches, and he looks away, clearing his throat. "That was a lie. I arrived three hours ago."
Hachikuji doesn't know whether to be impressed at his seriousness or pissed at his lying to her (again). But I'm only angry about it because it's Yukinoshita, which is unreasonable. I should stop forcing my idealistic expectations on him.
Despite his obvious nervousness regarding the date and her emotional outburst, Yukinoshita is trying his best to keep a straight face and appear the cool, confident boy he has always been. Hachikuji feels bad for him. Slightly.
The feeling evaporates when he extends his hand to her and bows teasingly, like a perfect gentleman. It's Yukinoshita, after all. He'll bounce back from this soon enough.
"Let's go, then."
...
It takes the both of them approximately half a minute of walking to realise they have no idea what kind of present to buy for Yuigahama.
Yukinoshita coughs. "I'm afraid I failed to take this factor into account. Would you have any idea about his interests?"
Classic Yukinoshita, maintaining his cool facade even while admitting to a major mistake. Irritation at his unreasonable question aside, seeing him like this relieves Hachikuji a little. "No idea," she says blandly. "Aren't you supposed to be more familiar with him? Guy talk and all."
"'Guy talk'? Unfortunately, I have no desire to indulge in that sort of vulgar and meaningless conversation. I would say that it's you that has conversed with him more. Do you have any knowledge concerning his interests?"
"No idea." Hachikuji snorts, then just to watch him squirm, adds a flippant "Just give him a card or something. Only a shallow-minded individual would attribute the value of a gift to its price-"
"-absolutely not. Hikigaya-san, may I remind you that his is our valued clubmate and deserves to be treated as such." Wow, aren't you cool. My heart would have skipped a beat there, if not for the fact that you don't even bother talking with this 'valued club member' most of the time.
"Clothes, then," she sighs.
...
Lounging around in the men's clothes section is, needless to say, extremely mortifying. Amidst the curious glances thrown her way by shop assistants, Hachikuji tries to focus on Yukinoshita's rambling, which admittedly isn't much better.
"From what I have seen, Yuigahama-san enjoys blending in with the crowd and keeping up with social trends. Perhaps buying the most recently fashionable clothes would be the best option?"
Hachikuji snorts.
"But then again, Yuigahama-san seems popular enough to set fashion trends himself. In that case, should we buy him clothes that deviate from the norm?"
"Not like he can wear this clothing in school anyway. They won't affect his social influence," Hachikuji grumbles.
"A fair point. Perhaps we should-"
Hachikuji grabs the nearest set of clothes and chucks them his way. "Your sizes are similar. Wear them."
"This won't do, Hikigaya-san. We must carefully-"
"Wear them."
"...yes, ma'am."
...
They buy the clothes, effectively ending the shopping trip in 20 minutes from when they started. It's normally the girl who extends this time by a few hours, Hachikuji muses, but contrary to popular opinion, shopping trips can be efficient if the girl cooperates. Normal girls would be sulking at the prospect of their shopping trip being cut short. I'm such a great date.
In fact, it is Yukinoshita who seems to be displeased by this turn of events. Sitting next to a fountain, he takes the clothes out of the bag and frowns at them.
"Hikigaya-san, I am not one to keep up with trends, but even I can tell your taste is horrible."
"Shut it. It's not like I chose them or anything." Besides, we both know this wasn't the main objective of today.
As if sensing the subtext, Yukinoshita falls silent. Fifteen seconds pass. Then he lifts his head.
"Hikigaya-san, I-"
"Ah, Yukio-chan!" The subject in question stiffens. Hachikuji shivers. Yukinoshita Haruno approaches the both of them at a leisurely pace.
Unlike her younger brother, Haruno seems to be keeping up with the most recent fashion trends. She'd have to, given her social standing. Her smile is as bright as ever, but it sends chills down Hachikuji's spine. And her eyes... Hachikuji feels an irrational but justifiable urge to flee. We need an exorcist! Now!
"Hikigaya-chan, too! Yahallo!" Wait, isn't that Yuigahama's standard greeting? What have you done to him? Also, don't pretend you just noticed me. It's deplorable.
"Nee-san." Yukinoshita feigns frustration, but is visibly nervous. Hachikuji can't blame him, given what happened the last time Haruno showed up out of nowhere.
"How adorable! Are you two on a date?" Haruno chirps, fixing Hachikuji with a stare that positively screams 'I'm not letting you have my cute little brother. Back off, hussy', or so Hachikuji thinks.
"Got a problem with that?" Hachikuji shoots back. She could easily explain the situation, but that would give Haruno the initiative for further teasing. Hence she must intimidate and challenge the enemy instead. For good measure, she throws back a look that hopefully conveys the message 'You can have him for all I care, demonic brocon'.
Against all physical limitation, Yukinoshita stiffens further. It seems he has read the subtext yet again and is greatly intimidated. Hachikuji can't blame him; women are scary. Why is his face red, though? He looked away for no reason, too...
Haruno swoons. "How hurtful! I was just caring for my cute little brother like any responsible older sister would." She pretends to check her watch. "And now I've got to go, so please do carry on! Hikigaya-chan, be gentle with him, okay?"
Yukinoshita's face flushes an even darker shade of red. Why are you affected by such a obvious attack? Get a grip already!
Staring at Haruno's retreating back, Hachikuji heaves a sigh of relief. As far as encounters go, this one was pretty tame; at least she won't need to avoid Yukinoshita for the next few weeks again.
Yukinoshita exhales slowly. "Sorry about that. My older sister may like to cause trouble, but she's not a malicious person. Most of the time, at least."
"I don't blame her. It's hard to keep up a mask like that all the time, after all. She has to find some kind of avenue to relieve the stress." Yukinoshita looks up in surprise. "What? It's not that hard to notice."
"...Hikigaya-san, could it be that you are actually a refined observer of human nature?"
"That's what I've been telling you from the start." she deadpans. His mouth twitches upwards. "Oi. Not funny."
"My apologies," Yukinoshita says while lowering his head, the annoying half-smirk still plastered onto his face. But only for a moment, before he turns serious again. "Hikigaya-san, I-"
At this point Hachikuji is convinced that fate does not want Yukinoshita Yukio to apologize, because his second attempt to do so is cut off by a dog's bark.
Half a second later, a brown dachshund rockets into Hachikuji's lap and attempts to lick her face.
Yukinoshita's face is starting to show the beginning of recognition and dread, but Hachikuji already knows where this is going.
"Hikigaya-san, that..."
"Yeah. Same dog."
"Ah! Sablè!"
We have ten seconds before Yuigahama appears and we get busted, Hachikuji thinks. Yukinoshita prepares to leave in five.
Yuigahama sees them in three.
Part 5
Fortunately, Yuigahama does not immediately assess the situation and jump to conclusions.
"Ah. Hikigaya-san, Yukinon. Yahallo!" He scans her face almost desperately. Come to think of it, this is the first time I've seen him unsure of how excited he should be.
Upon determining Hachikuji's expression as neutral, he hesitantly continues. "Um... fancy seeing both of you here! What's up?"
Hachikuji sinks into the sea of thought. From this situation, Yuigahama can and will easily deduce (incorrectly) that she is on a date with Yukinoshita. If she confirms this, there is no telling how this will affect the dynamics of the Service Club. (Dating in friend groups of three is a huge mistake; Hachikuji doesn't need to be the source on this to know.) However, giving away the fact that they came to buy his birthday present in an attempt to explain the situation will ruin the surprise and defeat the purpose of coming here in the first place. Therefore, there is only one way to worm out of this compromising situation in the most effective way possible
"We aren't on a date."
...
...
...
Yukinoshita glances at her, as if to say "I saw you deep in contemplation and assumed you had the situation under control, but really?" Yuigahama does not look convinced in the slightest. In fact, it seems that he didn't suspect anything about them dating until Hachikuji brought it up by denying it.
A nervous laugh. "Oh, I... see. I-I'll leave you guys to it, then. Whatever you're doing. Thanks for taking care of Sablè!" Gently prying the dog from her hands (it seems really attached to her for some reason), he flashes them a quick smile and darts off.
Two figures stare at his retreating figure in silence, as if mourning the loss of the Service Club's group dynamic.
"...he totally got the wrong idea, didn't he."
"...and who is to blame for that?"
Part 6
They stand in awkward silence outside the shopping mall. The sun begins to set, turning the sky a beautiful hue of orange, reminding Hachikuji (with a visible shock) of Yuigahama's similar hair color.
"Thank you for today." Yukinoshita interrupts Hachikuji from her train of thought. "I enjoyed it greatly."
Hachikuji smirks. "Is that what you say to every girl you go on a date with?"
They aren't facing each other, but she can almost feel his face turn red. "Y-You're the first."
The setting sun feels a little too warm on her skin. "I-Is that so." Exchange ended, they stay in hesitant silence for what feels like half a minute.
She's being unreasonable towards Yukinoshita, Hachikuji realises. The point of asking her on this outing was for him to apologise to her, something he must have spent ages mustering the humility and courage to do. Even so, all she has done is to watch his struggle with a blank expression, expecting to receive something that he clearly has difficulty giving. In the first place, it's not like there's anything to apologise for.
"Hikigaya-san, I-"
"Yukinoshita. It's fine."
He turns to her, evidently confused. "Excuse me?"
She hides her eyes with her bangs and stares at the ground. "You don't need to apologise. I'm the one who should be sorry for overreacting the other day."
The silence turns tangible. Then, Yukinoshita lets out a slight chuckle. "You shouldn't give your apologies away so easily, Hikigaya-san."
Did Yukinoshita Yukio just laugh? Is the world ending soon? "You were about to do the same thing, weren't you?"
He smirks. "Of course not." though Hachikuji would love to punch the smug look off his face on a normal day, but this one gives her a feeling of relief. Of course he wouldn't apologise, this is Yukinoshita after all.
"I would apologise if I could clearly discern that I was in the wrong, but what I did was my choice to make." He continues. "However, your actions were understandable as well. As it stands, our relationship may well be ruined and I do not wish for that to happen. Hence, I suggest...
"...that we start from zero."
The moment before the sun sinks under the horizon is the moment it shines the brightest. In this moment, Hachikuji can only stare at the fiery light on Yukinoshita face, and the flaming determination in his eyes.
Is he offering the chance for a fresh start? After everything that's just happened... Hachikuji suddenly wishes she'd made the fake date last longer than twenty minutes. In a moment of childishness, she wants to grab Yukinoshita by the collar and demand that he take his offer back.
...no. This is what Yukinoshita wants.
"Fine." She feels like screaming. She looks straight at him instead. "My name's Hikigaya Hachikuji. I don't need fixing and I'd like to leave this club as soon as possible. Nice to meet you."
"Likewise," Yukinoshita smiles professionally. "My name is Yukinoshita Yukio and I have no intention of fixing you. Feel free to leave anytime you wish."
They stare at each other for a moment before bursting into almost raucous laughter as Hachikuji relishes in this emotion she hadn't experienced in what felt like years.
...
When you feel like it, will you talk to me and Yuigahama about the accident? Hachikuji feels like asking. I'm sure Yuigahama will appreciate it if you trusted us more, and... I think I would, too.
But that would ruin her fresh start yet again. For the first time since the start of her high school life, Hachikuji refrains from speaking her mind.
END OF CHAPTER 4
Author's Note: Positive reviews depress me and I write more when I'm depressed. Do drop a few!