Chapter 4

Dawn was still a long time away when Merlin finally managed to sneak back into the castle, so he figured he could get a few hours rest. In fact if he was lucky, he might be able to get a solid seven hours, which was actually an improvement to usual. Perhaps using magic to do his chores wasn't such a terrible idea after all.

He crept through the empty halls of the castle, having long since memorized the scheduled patrols that the guards did during the night. It was actually possible for an intruder to walk from the lower town straight into the King's chambers if they timed it right. Merlin had considered pointing out this obvious security flaw, but quickly realized that more guards meant more chances for someone to discover him sneaking in and out of Camelot. Even worse, one of them might stumble upon him using his magic to help the King and then where would he be? Actually Merlin knew the answer to that question. He would be locked in a cell awaiting a pyre to be built for his own execution. Well, that wasn't quite fair. He'd most likely be locked in a cell waiting for his biased trial to begin. Unfortunately Merlin wasn't sure whether it would be biased in his favor or not.

Even after all his years of faithful service and friendship, Merlin still hadn't found the courage to tell Arthur what he was and what he could do. Arthur's views on magic were always shifting. Some days he would claim that maybe it wasn't all bad. Those were the days when Merlin had hope for the future. Other days, a sorcerer would attack Camelot and Arthur would say magic corrupts and could be used only for evil. Every time Merlin thought Arthur was ready to sit down and talk about magic in a rational way, Morgana would come and mess everything up.

Now though… If Arthur was willing to negotiate with the Druids without Merlin subtly convincing him to make the choice, then it was a giant step in the right direction. A peaceful truce with known magic users could be fantastic. The Druids wouldn't have to live their lives in constant danger and could even show Arthur the beauty in magic. And if that happened then Arthur might even accept Merlin for who he is and forgive him for hiding his powers all these years.

Merlin smiled to himself. He often dreamed of a time when he didn't have to hide. Of a time when he could deal with the problems that faced Camelot without having to sneak about at night. When he could do more to help in a fight than just dropping the occasional branch and making swords fly. It wasn't recognition he craved. Merlin didn't care for titles or praise. No, all he wanted was to do more to help. To be able to create a butterfly to make a small child laugh, to heal a wounded soldier with a few short words and to protect Arthur and Camelot without retribution. And above all, Merlin just wanted to be himself.

Merlin reached the door to Gaius's chamber and pushed the door open. As he stepped through the door, he looked around to see where Gaius was. As expected, the old man was fast asleep in his bed. Judging by the candle flickering on the table, Gaius had tried to stay awake until his ward got back. Merlin appreciated the effort but he was glad that his mentor had gone to sleep. Gaius worked so hard to help Merlin as well as keeping the court healthy. He deserved his rest. Besides Gaius wasn't as young as he used to be. Merlin was in awe of how the man managed to keep going after all these years, especially after using an aging spell. Even though Gaius wasn't eighty (yet), Merlin understood the struggles that he was going through.

Carefully he walked across the room and blew out the candle. Then he headed over to Gaius's sleeping form. Merlin gently pulled the blanket up to cover the old man. He stirred slightly and Merlin stepped back so quickly that he almost fell over for the second time today. When it was clear that Gaius was still asleep, Merlin tiptoed towards his room. Being extra careful not to walk into any tables, Merlin made it to his room and closed the door behind him.

Merlin took his shoes off and collapsed into bed. He'd get changed into his best clothes in the morning.

Wait. He was meant to wear his best clothes to meet Emrys. Except Emrys wasn't coming. Oh dear. Rolling over, he tried to think of a lie to tell Arthur.

That the druids had been delayed in one of the outlying villages? No, that wouldn't work. Arthur would ask how Merlin knew that.

That they were sick? No, Arthur would try to send Gaius to help them. Sometimes it was annoying how good-natured he was.

That it was a special religious day and they couldn't travel? That might work. Tell Arthur that he had done some reading on the Druids and their customs and he'd realized that yesterday had some special symbolism and the Druids couldn't travel? But then why would the Druids tell Arthur that he would be here in the morning if they knew they weren't.

Merlin let out a deep breath. This was so hard. Merlin wasn't really that good at lying. The fact that he'd managed to hide his powers for all this time was a miracle. Since Gaius knew about his magic, it was practically impossible for him to lie to his guardian. Gaius would just do his eyebrow thing and the truth would just come tumbling out. The same thing would generally happen when he was around his Mother. Sometimes he wished he could just send someone else to talk to her for him. Then he wouldn't have to see her give him that look that she gave when she knew he wasn't being 100% honest.

Hang on a moment. Send someone. Merlin pushed all of the blankets off him and leaped out of bed. He knelt by the side of his bed and pried up a lose floorboard. Lying snugly in a gap in the floor was Merlin's prize possession. It was a large leather bound book with intricate design on the front. Inside was a lot of small curly script in a strange language. There was detail drawings and diagrams of everything from the human body to animals so fantastical that they couldn't possibly exist.

If anyone knew that he had this book, Merlin would be arrested immediately. But despite the many searches of his room, the guards had never found this. Merlin's book of magic. It contained almost every spell he had ever learnt and many more he had yet to try. It was the only one he own. As far as he was aware, it was the only one in Camelot that had survived the Great Purge.

Leafing through the pages, Merlin tried to find a spell he had noticed the other day while doing some reading before bed. It was a spell that would alter his appearance so drastically that Arthur would not recognize him. It was meant to allow you to take on the appearance of anyone you wished. It was a difficult spell, one that only the most powerful of sorcerers could undertake.

"Yes!" He murmured as he found what he was looking for. The spell wouldn't hold for long, only a few hours, but that was long enough for his purpose. He could go to Arthur, say he was a messenger from the Druids and give a random reason as to why they weren't here. That could work. The book said you needed to think of a person and keep their image in your head while you said the spell.

Merlin placed the book back in its hiding place and covered it up. He knew exactly who he was going to copy and he knew exactly what he was going to say. Lying back on his bed again, Merlin wrapped himself in blankets and closed his eyes. Everything would work out in the morning.

A/N Hi! I know, a bit of a boring chapter. But I thought I'd give you guys some insight on Merlin's thought processes and how I was writing him. I know I made him seem like a bit of an idiot in chapter two, but he was a bit overwhelmed and didn't really know what to do. We all have those moments. Besides, this is probably his last calm moment for a while…

As for Ranik coming back so quickly, well he may be an idiot, a bully and a bit of a coward, but he's a money-loving one. So he would never leave his gold behind. Ever.

Next chapter's going to have more Arthur in it, don't worry!

Till the next time!

-Indigo

P.S I know I said this chapter would be up next week, but I thought that if I was going to procrastinate from studying, I might as well do it by writing!