Hopeless Dreaming
Julia had a secret. And deep down Julia knew she could never tell anyone. Her family sort of knew, but they didn't realise it, they thought she was happy. And she was, most of the time. But occasionally, she remembered her teenage years, and how they were the worst time in her life.
As an adult, Julia tried to forget what her parents had said, but every time she looked at them or her friends, a part of her never forgot and never ceased to remind her that her whole life was one she never wanted. But she could never release this burden from her shoulders, because by telling someone, anyone, she would let all of her family and friends down. Everyone was so proud of her because they didn't know any better. Julia couldn't disappoint them like that.
She had grown to like her life, but she knew that was only because she didn't have a choice. Her life had been decided for her years ago, and now it was too late to veer from that path. Her friends were here, the man she loved was here, and her parents would never let her change. Julia loved her parents, but sometimes she hated them. Sometimes when the hopelessness came back, and her self-loathing takes hold, Julia realises that the only people she hates more than herself are her parents. They brought this on her and she never wanted this life. They forced her to become this person and do things that she never wanted to. Seeing all the Starkids again only made things worse; they brought back memories she wanted to forget and dreams she could never achieve. Julia often wished that this was what she wanted, so she could feel at home the way she was, and not like she was living someone else's life.
But she didn't. And her life was a constant reminder of what she had lost, and that she would never be able to be truly happy knowing that she was doing something she never wanted to do, and becoming a person she never wanted to be.