Author's Note:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

First chapter of 2016 folks, enjoy this because it took me a lot longer to cough it up. I like it I think, let me know if there are any discrepancies but I think it works.

Thank you to everyone who has been supporting me through the holiday season. I'm doing a lot better thanks to all you guys, I hope you're all safe and having a decent year so far :)

Sam yawned hard and blinked repeatedly to try and get his face to wake up a little. It was crazy late but he'd managed to organize his room the way he liked it. He'd had to throw a few things out but it was all pretty good otherwise. He made a running list of what he needed to buy; a laptop was at the top. He also had to bring the old one in and see if they could pull any files from it, Cas trashed it pretty good.

There wasn't another sound in the house; he couldn't even hear Bobby snoring. Sam was pretty sure he'd been the only one to say goodnight to Bobby earlier, though maybe that was because the other two were embarrassed about their random items being discovered during the day. Whatever the reason, Sam wanted to smack them both for it.

Though there was still a small nagging feeling in the back of his head about it. He seriously couldn't imagine Jet owning something like that, it looked so pristine, like it'd never been used but it wasn't in a package so it must've been, right? On top of that he always thought Jet was pretty straight, the guy only had girlfriends in high school. But the thing that stuck out the most to him was that Jet bullied him relentlessly when Sam mentioned being bisexual. There were always those little jokes that stabbed at the subject, and while Sam knew that Jet was just poking fun and thought it was all light-hearted he felt like it was much worse than that.

The real insult was the previous year's New Years celebrations; Jet had gotten pretty wasted and spent a good amount of time 'poking fun' at him. Sam was furious at best, but it was all topped off when Jet thought it'd be funny to try and ask him out. The following morning it seemed to be a blur for Jet, like he didn't remember a damn thing about it. Sam would happily leave it at that if he could.

He wondered if Jet owned the dildo because it was going to be some kind of a joke down the line. Sam wouldn't put it past him; Jet's humour wasn't always highbrow. There was a part of him that thought maybe Jet actually used it, the part of him that had a crush on the biggest asshole he knew. But Sam couldn't honestly bring himself to believe it.

He sat on his bed and looked around the room; his posters were on the walls, photographs in their frames on his shelves, it was basically his room. He'd moved a couple times in his life, uprooted more than once and so he was used to the feeling. To him a home was more of a feeling and the people inside it than the actual place. He loved his brother, his friend, and his dad. Cas had grown on him and Charlie really seemed like a nice person, the only thing that bothered him was the underground. But that didn't actually seem to be part of the mansion to him; it was more of an added part of the property.

But he wouldn't be against moving again, finding a more reasonable sized place for their family. He knew Bobby kept saying that they didn't need to give him anything but Sam refused to let that be, he could tell Bobby missed them and he'd be damned if their dad lived in a shitty run-down place all alone for the rest of his life.

Sam knew full well he was avoiding going to sleep. He didn't look at the clock because if he did he'd know how late it was and he'd feel more tired. He wanted to do something to keep busy but he couldn't think of anything that his brain could handle. He didn't want to see what Cas had seen, he didn't want to feel it and he didn't want to wake up feeling worse than when he fell asleep. More than all of that, though, he didn't want to wake up and find that Dean of Jet couldn't get out of the nightmare. The last time left him drained and terrified.

The feeling of Jet's limp body in his arms ghosted over him and Sam shuddered from the memory. He got up and circled his room again; hands running up into his hair and pushing it back behind his ears. It was super late he couldn't just go and peek into their bedrooms…

Sam quietly stepped out of his room before he could think twice about it and crossed the hall to Jet's. His hand hovered over the handle for a moment; he noticed the light was on under the door and realized that maybe he wasn't the only one avoiding sleep. Sam reached up and knocked instead, a light tap but still loud enough to be heard.

He waited but no answer came, he knocked again. Still nothing. Sam raised an eyebrow and slowly turned the doorknob, his imagination running away with him. What if Jet had fallen asleep with the lights on? Maybe he was already having nightmares.

The room was empty and an amazing disaster. Jet still had piles of his stuff on the floor, some things strewn about almost carelessly. Sam was sure that Jet was in the middle of organizing but it kinda looked like he dumped the boxes out and left them that way.

Briefly Sam wondered if Jet was looking for his toy but shoved the idea out of his mind. He didn't need to think about that, not right then anyway. What he wanted to know was where the hell Jet had gone. Sam quickly went to check the adjacent bathroom, nothing there either. With a frown he stepped back into the hall, door closing quietly behind him. He remembered the first night Jet had ended up on the couch, completely unaware of the fact that he'd been sleep walking, maybe it'd happened again?

Sam travelled down the stairs and made a note of how quiet the place seemed. It was unnatural in a way, he was used to hearing cars driving by or people on the streets outside their house. The mansion was too far from the road to hear passing vehicles and of course no one was on the property. Maybe it was better he heard nothing, for this place it meant things were going well.

He found no one in the living room or kitchen; a quick look outside answered the question of whether or not Jet took the car. The impala was sitting pretty where Dean had left it, Charlie's car too. Sam furrowed his brow and leaned against the closed door, where the hell had he gone?

Wandering around the main floor he noticed after almost half an hour that the door to the basement was slightly open. He bristled, imagining everything that could possibly go wrong involving Jet – sleep walking or not- and the laboratories. Sam hurried down the stairs as he tried to quiet the little nagging worry that grew in his mind. Opening the door to the main room with the screens and computers he could breathe a sigh of relief.

Charlie was sitting at one of the keyboards and Jet was next to her, sitting the wrong way around on his chair like the dork that he was. "What're you guys doing up?" He asked as he descended the rest of the stairs.

Jet looked up, a smile pulling at his lips as he watched Sam approach, "Same reason you are, man."

"Couldn't sleep?" Sam grabbed another chair and sat down with them.

"Pretty much," Charlie laughed a little bitterly. She turned to Sam and lifted her coffee cup, "We got ready for a long night of research."

"By yourselves?" Sam raised an eyebrow at Jet who shrugged in response. "Well did you find anything interesting?"

"Jet was just showing me what you guys checked out already," Charlie leaned back on her chair and stared up at the ceiling, "I still can't believe a guy like that lived so nearby and I didn't even notice…"

"Don't blame yourself," Sam offered a reassuring smile, "Most people wouldn't really consider it when they see a 70 year old man."

Jet snorted out a laugh, "I would now."

"You've got reason to now," he frowned at Jet who just stuck his tongue out. Sam leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees as he stared at the computer screen. There were a lot of answers and questions right in front of them but it'd take far too long to get through it all. He wished there was a way to just search for the answer to his questions like Google or something, but actually doing the readings would be necessary.

"Shouldn't you go to bed?" Jet nudged Sam's chair with his foot, "You still want to finish school don't you?"

"This week's a forfeit, I'll go next week." Sam waved him off, "I was ahead with homework anyway."

"Keep up that attitude and your classmates will hate you."

"They can hate him all they want, it still sounds pretty insignificant from the top," Charlie gave Jet a quick jab with her elbow, Sam wasn't really surprised; she seemed smart enough to be the top of her classes when she was in school.

"Book smarts aren't everything," Jet argued tiredly, his head now resting on his arms and dark eyes attempting stay focused on the computer. He looked so exhausted and Sam knew why, it made him feel awful seeing Jet like that. Jet was supposed to be a smart mouthed jackass, not yawning every few seconds and barely muttering defensive comments.

"Says the guy who almost failed his last year." Sam poked a little fun and smiled when he heard the huffed laugh from his friend. "You know, if you want to go to sleep you should."

Jet shook his head shallowly, just enough movement to be registered. "Nah, I'm good. I had a cup of coffee not long ago."

"He spaced out for like an hour," Charlie pointed out to Jet's dismay.

"I was awake, just thinking."

Sam didn't know what else to say so he rewatched some of the same videos that Charlie was visiting, the ones they'd seen already. She was impressive, he had to give her that much. She took each bit of information in stride though she was still tense; he could tell by the way she was breathing. It was subtle but he could tell it was stiff. She didn't want to let on how upset she was, how much it hurt her to read someone's notes casually depicting her best friend's torture. The videos weren't much better for her, he imagined.

After the last one ended he touched her shoulder, "Charlie, you should take a break."

"I haven't been looking for Cas this long to take a break," she pulled away from his hand and went to the next video before Sam could do anything to warn her. It showed the clone and he heard her gasp, "Oh no…"

Sam didn't watch it; instead he turned his head to look at the monitors on the far wall and wait until it was over. Charlie closed the video program and sat still for a few minutes, her mind processing what she'd just learned. Sam didn't want to say anything; he just waited until she spoke on her own.

"Cas was cloned…" she whispered hoarsely, "…and had to kill his clones over and over again?"

"Yeah," Jet said simply, "he also hates any pictures or video of himself so don't let him see anything like that if you want to keep your electronics."

"I don't think that's her main concern, Jet." Sam rolled his eyes and moved into Charlie's vision, "I really think you should take some time to get through this, you learned a lot in a very short amount of time."

Her face was intense and her eyes looking a little red she took a deep breath, "I can handle it-"

"I don't think you should have to handle it." Sam glanced at Jet for some help but he realized his exhausted friend might not be the best place to look. "You have time, Charlie. He's alive and he's getting better every day, he'll do better with your support when you're healthy."

"I'll support him better when I know what's happened to him." She argued sternly, Sam could tell she was at her wit's end but fighting that cliff.

"And you will, but you don't need to learn it all in one sitting. Right now we're all on the same page, you made up several days of work in only a few hours. That's pretty impressive but also really hard on anyone with a conscience, even worse for you since you knew Cas before all this."

Charlie visibly relaxed and Sam could see just how tired she was. Her eyes were glossy and tears threatened to fall but never did, she exhaled shakily and slumped back in her chair. "You're right, I guess…" She rubbed her eyes and pushed her hand up through her hair, "I just feel like I'm so close now, I can't give up."

"You keep this up you'll drown before you get to shore, kiddo." Jet muttered, his mouth now pushed against his forearm as he struggled to keep his head up.

"You too," Charlie smirked and nudged his arm, he just grunted his reply. She looked back and forth between the two and finally smiled a little easier, "Thanks guys, you just met me but you're looking out for me anyway."

Sam smiled back, "It's just kinda what we do."

"I talked to Dean earlier too, he's so committed to helping Cas… I know he's scared I'm going to try some crap like taking Cas back home but I couldn't imagine doing that. They're kinda cute together, what with Dean's overprotectiveness."

"He gets like that," Sam nodded thoughtfully, briefly recalling little moments where he'd seen Dean's protective side.

"You two are cute too," she added as she stretched, getting up from her chair. "When Cas comes back around he's going to be pretty pumped a hot guy and a couple of boyfriends got together to help him out. He used to be pretty big into the lgbtq+ scene at school."

Jet laughed, "Yeah I'm hot, but those two are brothers,"

"We're all single," Sam added defensively.

"Oh," Charlie rubbed the back of her head sheepishly, "My bad, you just seemed like-"

"Well we're not."

"Sorry," She waved it off and headed for the stairs leading back to the rest of the house, "You're still cute together though."

"Thanks!" Jet called after her as she escaped.

Sam sighed in annoyance and stood up too, "Why do you always have to do that?"

Jet finished another yawn and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, "Do what? Thank people?"

"No," Sam snapped but held himself back. He knew that getting into a fight about it would just make it worse. "Nothing, forget it."

"No, no, no, don't do that shit." Jet stood up and tossed the chair out of his way, "What's bugging you? What'd I do?"

Sam questioned the intelligence of actually saying anything about it but couldn't stop his tongue regardless of the answer, "Your bullshit is bugging me. Since I came out two years ago you keep making snide jokes about me liking guys too. Always saying shit like 'Sam would like that' at the end of dumb sentences or the classic 'that's what she said- or he if you're Sam' from last year. It's even gotten to the point where you pretend to fucking hit on me and I'm sick of it!" He felt his blood pressure rising and heard the volume of his voice but he didn't care enough to stop it. It felt good to finally let it out, two years of built up anger was tiring at best.

"Pretend to… wait a second-" Jet tried to interrupt him but Sam lifted a hand to cut him off.

"Shut up! I don't want to hear your stupid 'but I thought it was funny' crap, it's harmful and I never found it funny, not even once. You can't just say stuff like that to someone; I don't care if we've been friends for years. I can look past a lot of the dumb shit you do and the messed up shit you say but not that, okay? It's not easy to say to your brother and his best friend that you swing both ways. It's even harder when-" he felt himself trying to pull back but he didn't let it happen, he needed to say this, he had to get it out of his system. Tears started to well up in his eyes against his will and he forced himself to take a breath, "When you tell the person you like something important and they stomp all over it. Faking, pretending to ask me out for some sick joke was the worst thing you ever did, it's insulting and I'm sick of it."

"Sam," Jet didn't sound as mad as Sam thought he'd be; actually he looked more surprised and hurt. Sam wasn't sure if he wanted to punch him more or less for the expression he had.

"I don't want to hear it," he said through clenched teeth and tried to leave, however Jet grabbed his arm firmly and held him in place.

"Too fucking bad, I want to talk about this!" Jet turned him around and Sam suddenly felt like running. He clenched his fists and held his ground, looking Jet in the eyes though brought his defenses down.

"Fine, talk." He stated angrily.

"I don't have an excuse for treating you like that, I'm an asshole and I'm sorry. But I wasn't 'pretending' to hit on you to rub it in."

"Then what the hell were you doing?"

"I was just hitting on you," Jet didn't managed to say those words easily, he let go of Sam's arm and stepped back. "You kept telling me to fuck off when I asked you out, I guess I know why now."

Sam furrowed his brow, "So I tell you to fuck off and you just keep doing it? That's pretty shitty."

"I didn't know what else to do, okay? I'm sorry, I know I suck can you just… can you just not hate me at least?"

Sam didn't know what to do with that level of sincerity from Jet, or how to deal with the way his voice broke. Sam opened his mouth to speak but stopped and took a moment to think it over. "So why did you make fun of me when I came out to you guys?"

"It was 2 years ago and you were the only person I knew to ever tell me that, I had no idea how to react." Jet was clearly floundering for an answer, but not just any answer, he wanted to give Sam the right answer.

"Stop trying to say what you think I want to hear and tell me what you really think." Sam insisted, calmer this time though still stern. Jet looked at him quietly for a few moments, Sam could practically see his wheels turning and his defensive wall slowly falling down.

"Okay…" he spoke softly and took a slow breath, "When I was little and my dad was still at home he used to go on drugged up rampages – you knew that already. One time he went on about an old co-worker who happened to be gay. It wasn't an ugly rampage but there were some awful things said. He told me that if I ever did anything like that he'd kill me, I know he's been in jail for a long fuckin' time and he'd never be able to do it but it still stuck with me. Since you were the first person I ever knew personally that came out around me I… I think I just got nervous." He looked away briefly, gathering his thoughts. "But like I said, it's no excuse for how I treated you. I'm sorry, Sam."

"I forgive you," Sam heard himself say and was almost as surprised as Jet looked, sometimes he liked his auto-pilot conscience and other times he wished it'd hold back. But as far as he was concerned it felt relieving to hear the explanation, even if it was still shitty. "I'm still kinda mad but I forgive you. And… for the record? I never hated you."

Jet cracked a little smile; he looked hopeful, "Thanks,"

"So…" Sam couldn't remember the last real conversation he'd had with Jet, those kinds of bonding moments did come up every day. "You were hitting on me for real then?"

"I was, yeah." Jet chewed on the inside of his cheek again, Sam was sure it was harder than it looked. Jet had bad nervous habits. "And you used to like me before I was a jerk?"

"Yeah, though you were always a jerk."

Jet chuckled and nodded, "You're not wrong." He exhaled heavily; Sam could tell his tongue was poking at the cheek he'd been biting, "Any chance… you might like me again?"

"No." Sam said casually, before Jet's expression could fall he continued, "I never really stopped liking you so there isn't a chance of 'again.'"

Jet blinked in slight surprised confusion, he had to mull that one over before it really clicked. "So that's a yes?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yes, I like you." Sam stated as simply as he could, he blamed Jet's unusual slowness on the fact that neither of them had slept all that much lately. "Now can we go upstairs? This basement freaks me out."

Sam expected something a little more light hearted, like some banter back and forth but he was surprised to see Jet blink rapidly as his eyes watered and turn away. "Jet?" Sam stepped around to stay where he could see Jet's face, "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I'm not," Jet muttered as he rubbed his eyes quickly, Sam could hear the lie in his tone of voice though.

"It's okay if you are, I just want to make sure you're alright." He said softly and touched Jet's cheek, "What's wrong?"

"I just…" Jet swallowed to try and keep his voice on track, "I wasn't ready for that." He choked on a laugh and wiped his eyes again. "I'm okay, I'm just tired."

Sam smiled and gave his boyfriend a hug, "Then let's go to sleep."