It had been 10 days and still nothing. No call. No text. No email. NOTHING. I just couldn't believe this. I didn't want to be the first one to make a move, the first one to reach out. He had been the one that kissed me so he should have been the first one to make some kind of contact. This was so annoying. Most of all I was annoyed at myself. I knew I should care so much and I tried not to allow myself to care at all.

I was glad to be back in New York. It helped I was so far away, there was no way I could just get in my car and drive over and demand an explanation about the incident. I was sitting in my apartment when my phone went off. It was a message. Not a text but a social media message. "just landing in NYC! but first, we fly through a bumpy cloud over new jersey." He knew I was here and I didn't understand why he couldn't just text me? Then a thought begun to sink in. Maybe he didn't want to talk to me. He maybe didn't want anything else to deal with me. But then why post such a message. Just then before my mind and my feelings went into shock overload my phone beeped again this time it was a text.

"Hey Lea, How are you? Wanted to let you know that I am in town. Would really like to get together and talk sometime if possible. Not sure if you have plans but I was wondering if you would like to go see Hamlet with me tonight. Xo Cory"

I wasn't really sure what or how to reply. I knew we had to talk but after 10 days of nothing I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to him anymore. I hesitated for about 20 minutes then decided to reply.

"I have no plans. I will meet you at the theater at 8. See you there." I hit send. No "xo" from me today buddy, I thought. My phone went off again "Great. I will see you then."

I had to really think of what I had to tell him. First of all why did he wait so long to reach out to me? Who did he think he was kissing people and then ignore them for days? I started pacing around my apartment, when I heard someone opening the front door.

"Hey Lea" It was Jonathan, my best friend. He had gone out to get us some food. He walked over to the kitchen to place the food down on the table. "I am so hungry. I have got some good food Lea, come on let's eat."

"I've lost my appetite" I told him "go ahead and eat." I walked over to the window. Should I even go tonight? Maybe I will just stand him up, yea that's what I could do. Have him feel what it is to wait for someone. I was starting to get lost in my thoughts when Jonathan came up behind me.

"What's wrong Lea, I know you have not ate anything all day." he walked over to be in front of me. "Did you have a fight with Theo?"

"What, no of course not Jon. Theo and I are fine" I told him as I turned away from him and headed to the kitchen. I started taking the food out of the bags and opening the containers. He brought Chinese food. He came over to help, he grabbed some drinks for us from the fridge.

"Ok, if it's not Theo then what is it?" he asked as he bit into a spring roll.

"Nothing, I'm fine." I told him as I grabbed some chopsticks to start eating some fried rice.

"Come on Lea, You have been acting weird the last couple days. Almost like you are not even here. Your phone goes off and it makes you jump and now you said you lost your appetite. For you to say that then something really must be going on."

I looked up from the fried rice container "I'm just tired I guess. I have a few photo shoots coming up and I want to make sure I am in great shape. That's all"

"I know there is something you are not telling me" he said as he grabbed my hand "Lea you are my best friend and I am sorry to say you're not such a great liar. Whatever is happening to you it's because of a boy" he said as he released my hand and sat back on his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

I rolled my eyes. I had to tell him, if I didn't this was going to eat me up. "Cory and I kissed" I told him shyly looking down at my feet.

"Wait, what?" he screamed in shock.

"Shhhh Jon, please"

He began to whisper "When was this? Where? Who kissed who? How did this happen?"

"Ok first of all that's a lot of questions, secondly it just happened a few days ago" I told him as I got up from my chair and went to sit on the couch. "It was the night of the Diversity awards. He kissed me and well I didn't push him off. And well I kind of kissed him back" I told him the last part low.

"No wonder you have been weird the last few days," he said "Wait are you planning to tell Theo? What do you mean kind of? Is that the reason you are here? Wait do you like Cory, I mean you know like him, like him." he walked over to the couch and sat next to me.

"No I am not planning to tell Theo, I came here to get away I needed to process everything" I told him as I laid me head down on his knee and looked up at his face.

"Process what exactly Lea, process the option of staying with Theo or going with Cory?" he said.

"No, I just wanted to see if I did have any feelings for Cory, if that kiss meant something to me. . He is special Jon. Come on you met him."

"Yea I have met him and yes he is a great guy. How special is he to you?" he asked.

"Well I don't know, he is just special. I feel different when I'm with him. Not bad different, I just feel calm I feel so comfortable. Yea he is so opposite of me but I just don't know how to explain it, there is something about him. And he is in town today. And he asked me to go see a play with him." I told him as I hid my face with a pillow.

"What about Theo? Have your feelings changed for him? Are you ready to let him go?" he asked as he removed the pillow from my face.

"That's where I am so confused. I still like Theo, I care for him very much. I don't think I want to break up with him. Yeah we have been having some issues and I don't want to use that as an excuse to just let him go and move on"

"So what are you going to do? Have them both? That is not you Lea. Think about it Theo has the same interest as you. He sings, he is an actor, he loves Broadway. He is dependable, he is sweet to you. Are you going to give it all away for a kiss that didn't mean anything? I'm sure he is the reason you have been obsessed about your phone, wondering if he text or call you. My guess is he didn't. "

That was all true. He was right. That was hurt me the most, the fact he did not even try to get in contact with me at all these past days.

"No I won't have them both. You are right Jon that kiss meant nothing. It didn't change anything, it didn't change how I feel about Theo. I need someone dependable like him in my life. Tired of these boys who never know what they want. I need to look forward." I told him as I got off the couch. "Well I have got to go get ready."

"Wait you are still going to go out with Cory?" he asked.

"Yes, I have to. He and I need to talk. He needs to know there is no feelings attached to that kiss. Plus he is my friend he deserves to hear it from me. Cory and I will be working together for a while and I want no kind of weirdness affecting our dynamic on the show." I told him as I went to my room.

In my room I processed everything Jon and I had just talked about, he was right. I had to be with Theo. I had to let go of any feelings for Cory. There were no feelings. I got in the shower. No feelings at all I kept saying in my head. No feelings at all, I kept thinking while I grabbed my outfit for tonight. Jon was right, I was making the right decision by staying with Theo. Yes he was right. Because that was what I wanted, I wanted Theo and that kiss meant nothing. It meant nothing to neither of us. I knew I was right. I knew that was the reason Cory had not reach out to me sooner. He didn't know how to tell me what I already knew. The kiss was just a kiss and nothing more. I was ready for him to tell me that I was ready for the truth.