We listen as my brother is locked and chained to a metallic desk, being interrogated. He seems weary and a bit on edge, but rightfully so, he was arrested only an hour ago. Eomma is still sobbing, watching as her son, who was once her pride and joy, is being broken down and forced to reveal the secrets his dark eyes harbor.
"Where did you get the drugs?"
Dasan is silent.
"Son, you need to tell us," the police tries to coax. Dasan looks up at him and scoffs. The other cop shakes his head and sighs.
"If you don't tell us, we'll go to drastic measures."
"I won't tell," my brother looks up at them with the devil in his eyes. Is he insane too?
"You'll be forced to," he says.
"If you tell us, we'll try our best to give you the most lenient consequence."
Dasan scoffs but shrugs. "No, you won't. But I'll tell you. Now that I think of it, why would I care if you know? You'll never find them," he chuckles deeply, looking off to the wall.
"Find them? Who's them?"
"Bangtan."
The two cops freeze in place. Who is Bangtan? Why do they look scared by the name?
"You're a part of Bangtan?"
"Yeah," my brother smirks. "I am."
"So you were selling drugs for Bangtan, the gang?"
"Yeah," my brother smiles proudly. My brother was involved in a gang?
"How did you get involved with them?"
"Their leader came across me one day. He's a cool guy actually, a perfect man."
"What's his name?" The police ask.
"Kim Namjoon."
They look at each other and nod then rise.
"Thank you, you'll be placed in confinement until your court date which is..."
I don't hear the cop finish his speech because Eomma's tears have hieghtend to screeches and wails and choking noises. I hug her with Appa and try to calm her down. I watch as I tilt my head to the side as Dasan watches the window, knowing damn well we're watching. He looks and I try to find even the slightest hint of remorse for his actions in his eyes but they are cold and black and dead. I know he can't see me but I still mouth I love you to him.
Regardless of the fact that he's a convicted felon, he is still my older brother. And I know him as a person, whereas the police only see him for a gang criminal. I know him, he wanted to be successful and powerful and live a good life. It's not that we're poor or even at risk; we're a well off family, able to afford medium leveled luxuries, like vacations and nice dinners and go to various events that might seem frivolous. Dasan loved to play with toys growing up and has the best sense of sarcasm. He's ambitious, yes, but I always believed he'd go to university and graduate and be a role model.
We are told to go home and return in a few days when the final paperwork is process. Since Dasan is an adult, he will be tried on his own and we need to let the system go its course. This is one him, not us. Eomma stares blankly out the window as we drive home and Appa holds her hand as he drives back. I watch as we pass buildings and alleyways, wondering if the gang Bangan knows of Dasan and his fate. Do they care? Do they even know his name? What kind of people are they? Are the among us in the world, everyday, all the time?
And who is this Kim Namjoon? Why is he in charge? Does Dasan know him well? Are they friends? Or does my brother merely work under him? Is he going to try and set my brother free? Or is he so low that he can throw him out and replace him?