We all are awoken by a ringing call. I sit up in my bed, groggy from being awoken so abruptly. I hear the ringing stop, meaning someone has picked up the phone. I hear Appa's voice speak softly in the other room. There are long pauses and lots of yeses and nos. Then the phone hangs up and I hear Eomma shriek.
"NO! HE CAN'T BE! DASAN! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"
I leap from my bed, rush to their room and whip open the door. I look at Appa who's head snaps in my direction from the noise. His eyes soften and he crosses the room to hug me.
"Appa..." I ask, piecing together the meaning of Eomma's morning tears.
"You're brother took his life."
I feel the words punch me in the chest like Dasan's did the other night. I feel them spear me and I feel a part of myself become ripped apart as the spear is taken away. My brother isn't just a felon, but a dead felon. Suicide...what an awful way to handle the situation.
"Hyemi," Eomma speaks softly. I pull away from Appa and go to her on the bed and hug her. She whimpers for a moment before collecting herself.
"Yes Eomma?" I ask. She pushes a few strands of my bed hair from my face and looks deep into my eyes. They are swimming with emotions and fears.
"I love you so much."
"I love you too Eomma," I say back.
I don't go to school today, instead I accompany my family to the police station. The many police there tell us they are sorry for the circumstances and while Appa is taken to do a few legal tasks, Eomma and I are brought to a rather comfortable room. We're offered water and coffee and tea and told to ask if we need anything. We are told we'll be at the station for a while so to not hesitate to request anything. We wait for a while, too consumed by our emotions to speak or do anything. A therapist comes in and she is really considerate of us and doesn't force us to speak. She asks a few questions and we both answer. When it's my turn to answer the question on how am I feeling I think.
"I hate whoever this Kim Namjoon is," I speak with hostility. Eomma takes my hand and shakes her head.
"Don't act childishly Hyemi."
"But Eomma!" I bark. "He deserves to be brought to justice because of what happened to Dasan!"
Eomma is silent and the therapist offers us her card and a few kind words and coping mechanisms. She said she's more than willing to speak to us about the topic in a few days. As she leaves, Appa comes in and she leaves us to all grieve together. We go home a while later, all silent, personally processing the situation. I go right to my room and in a whirlwhind of grief and hatred, I open my laptop and type into the search engine Bangtan.
I read article after article about them and who they are and what they've been caught for. Nothing is said about Dasan and it just fuels the rage inside me. They're known for drugs and fights and even murder. Apparently, they make a lot of money and are the country's leader in the underground drug business. I try to look up pictures of Kim Namjoon but there's none documented. Only a few articles actually mention him, apparently it's hard to find him or anyone. Where they operate out of his unknown, which makes sense because if the police know, I'm sure they would have stopped them by now.
If I want to avenge my brother, even if he did do all this on his own, there's no way this is what he meant all those years of being successful and powerful and rich. The Dasan I knew wanted to run a company and live in the city and help the family and get married and have children. I will destroy whoever warped his mind so much that he began to follow these men blindly.