Hamlet was such a beautiful play Jude Law was phenomenal. But I really could not concentrate fully on the play. Cory sat there next to me, every once in a while he would look towards me and give me his smile. That smile that I felt made my heart skip a beat every time. Half way through the play I decided I was better off not looking at him. Still I wonder if he noticed. When the play was over, as I started to get up from my seat I felt him grab me by the arm.
"Lea, wait" Cory said.
I didn't want to turn around and look at him. I sat back down and just faced forward towards the stage. I felt so foolish doing this but it had to be done.
"Lea we really need to talk" he started to say, "Are you even going to look at me?"
"Cory we can't just sit here and talk, it's a theater" I told him still not turning to look at him.
"Fine lets go" he said getting up and walking out of the theater. I followed him outside but didn't want to walk so close. We walked in silence until we got to Central Park. He kept walking in but I hesitated at the entrance, remembering the last time we were here.
"Cory" I yelled for him. He turned and saw me still standing at the entrance. "Why are we going in here?"
He walked back to where I was "There is a lot of people here we can just sit at a bench and talk sort of blend in, or would you rather go to a café where I'm sure people would recognize us?"
He was right, he had a point. "No, we can stay here" I said to him not wanting to meet his gaze. He turned back around and begun walking once again. I was hoping he did not walk anywhere near Bow Bridge, I did not want to spoil the last memory I had of him and I there. He must have read my mind because he came to a complete stop and turned to look at me.
"I think this spot will be fine, Let's have a sit here" he said pointing to a bench nearby.
We both took our seats and stared out to the New York City lights.
"If you didn't even want to see me or talk to me Lea, why did you even agree to come out with me tonight?" he asked. I turned to look at him and he was just staring down at his feet.
"Look Lea, I know why you're like this and I am sorry. I should have never kissed you, now things will be awkward between us and that was the last thing I wanted."
I wanted to speak but I didn't know where to start. I had rehearsed what I was going to say to him and now I just sat there looking at him, but I need to know where his thoughts were.
"What did you think would happen, Cory?" I asked him shyly.
He turned to look at me. "I wish I had an answer for you but I don't. I don't think I expected anything, I just knew I had to do it. I had to get that out my system. I have wanted to kiss you as myself for a while but never knew how you would react. Since I thought everything was cool between us I decided to go for it, but I never imagined it would ruin our friendship."
"Look Cory, our friendship is not ruined. I think I got a little carried away because I wasn't sure if you had any intentions with that kiss. I have a boyfriend and I plan to stay with my boyfriend that kiss changes nothing." I told him.
"Right I remember about Theo, which is why I wanted to meet with you today. Nothing changes everything stays the same. I really am sorry." he said as he turned again to look at the city.
"It's ok Cory, we are adults and we can talk about this but we are good now, right?" I asked him
"Yea we are good" he said. We sat there for a while just listening to the cars driving by. "Can I ask you something?" he said as he broke the silence.
"Anything" I said as I turned to look at him curious.
"Did you feel anything with the kiss?" he asked turning to look at me.
I sat there staring at him wanting to yell, YES! That I had not stopped thinking about him or the kiss for the past couple of days.
"I don't know Cory, I was really thrown off guard. My head is still so confused trying to make sense of it all. " I said to him.
"That's your problem Lea, you are using your head to figure out if you felt anything. Have you considered asking you heart?" he said to me without breaking his gaze.
"My heart gets confused easily and I don't need any more confusion. I have to get my things together and I need to be with Theo."
"You need to be with Theo? What do you want? Take a chance" he said as he stretched his hand to take mine. I moved my hand before he could touch it. This couldn't be. He just stared at where my hand used to be. I heard him sigh beside me.
"Theo is a very lucky guy Lea and I wish you guys all the best. I understand about your choice. I'm glad our friendship did not break. I am glad you will still be part of my life, and that you will get what you need in yours."
He got off the bench and turned to look at me. He bent down to bring his face close to mine.
"I know you felt something with that kiss even if you won't admit it. I know you felt something because I felt it too. There is no way that all that emotion all those feelings were only coming from me. I will respect your relationship between you and Theo." he said to me low as a whisper as he put a strand of my hair behind my ear.
"I will give you the space you need to make sure your head is no longer confused. But I do ask one favor from you" he said to me as I just stared into his hazel eyes. "I would like for you to really pay attention to your heart because I can feel how me being this close makes you feel. I know you are trying to tell yourself differently, but I can feel it." After a few seconds he got back up. "I will see you around Ms. Lea Michele." he said and started walking towards the parks exit.
As I watched him leave, he stopped and turned to face me a few feet away "Sweet Dreams Princess". He then turned back around and continued on his way.
I sat there on the bench for a few minutes. All this time I was worried about what the kiss meant to me. Not once did I ever think what did the kiss mean to him. He felt something. He had feelings for me. I didn't make any of it up in my mind, he actually had feelings for me. Tears begun streaming down my eyes.
I got off the bench and walked towards the lights of my New York.