Dean ran through the basement corridors faster than he really registered. That simple message from Charlie was vague but he'd had a burning feeling for a while, since they'd opened up that one enclosure. Something was up with Cas, he could just feel it and getting that text was more than enough to get him running.

He sped up the last set of stairs and threw open the doors to the lab's main room, his eyes hurt pretty quickly as the flashing blue light reached them. "Cas!" He shouted but was drowned out by a sharp, piercing scream. It sounded like it did at first but now was mixed with Castiel's normal voice, like a human scream edged with razor wire. Dean bolted across the large room, he didn't know what was happening but his heart was in his throat.

Castiel was hurting and terrified, he was sure of it. Whatever was happening it wasn't because of Cas.

"CAS!" He shouted again but was once more drowned out with another shriek; this one less human than the last and even made the room rumble. Cas was hissing and tense, his wings were arched high and as intimidating as they could possibly get. Dean rushed up the stairs, his legs felt like they'd give out but he wouldn't let them, he couldn't trip. He absolutely could not miss the next few seconds, he could feel Castiel's next movement before it even happened, he just knew it was coming.

Dean dove forward with all of his strength, colliding heavily with Castiel and toppling them both to the floor as the sound of a gunshot rang out loudly. Dean didn't think, he just held on as tightly as he could and gave Cas no room to wiggle free or thrash about. He didn't even think twice about the look that Cas shot his way, an almost mindless threat in unavailable eyes. He knew that this wasn't Cas, this monster he became when afraid was so far from the real thing.

He watched the insanity drain away from Cas' gaze leaving confusion in its wake. Dean sighed with some relief but didn't loosen his grip just yet; he also couldn't ignore the anger swelling in him. He glanced over at the two grown men who were pretty shaken by the whole thing, "What the hell Bobby? What was that?"

"Don't look at me, I told him to leave the gun in the truck," Bobby was mad too, Dean knew better than to continue that conversation at that moment. Keeping up hostility while Cas was like this was probably also a terrible idea.

"Dee," the most heartbreaking voice said to him and Dean felt a sudden pain in his chest crawling up his throat. Castiel's eyes were just as anguish inducing as his broken tone, Dean swallowed hard to keep himself from tearing up too. Cas was scared and Dean didn't blame him for a second.

"It's okay, Cas." He whispered and touched his angel's cheek, wiping at least some of the tears away. New ones took their place and washed over his hand, dripping down his forearm as Castiel stared at him. Dean felt his jaw shake and clenched it as he pulled Cas down against his chest, holding tight in a hug. "It's okay," he repeated helplessly, "I've got you, I'm here. I've got you, Cas."

"The fuck was that!" Jet shouted from the door to the rest of the labyrinth, he and Sam had just arrived. Dean didn't bother responding and just held onto Cas, keeping his focus on comforting. The rage inducing shit could be transferred from Sam and Jet; Dean would leave it to them for the time being.

"Bobby's friend is here," Charlie said quietly, she was startled from the gunshot too. Dean didn't imagine she was terribly used to that shit, none of them were.

"Why are there guns involved?" Sam took over; by the sound of it he was aiming his question at Bobby and his buddy Rufus.

Bobby looked over at Rufus with an expression Dean recognized as a 'I'm so done with this shit' look. "Mind tellin' 'em why?"

Rufus stuttered angrily for a second before he found the ability to make sense again, "To protect myself from shit like that, that's why! You don't tell a guy he's walking into a lab of weird experiments and expect me to go in empty handed! I've seen movies, Bobby!"

"Shut the fuck up," Jet snarled as he walked up the stairs, Dean didn't see Desirae on him and figured Jet passed her over to Sam for a moment. "You fucking caused that shit by having the gun; you think we'd hang around with a dangerous monster roaming free?"

"Boy don't you take that tone with-"

"Fuck off, asshole! Just admit you're an idiot and I might just let you stay in my house. We want that shit cleaned up but if you're gonna be a complete fucking moron about it then I'll throw you out the door myself!"

Bobby put a hand on Jet's shoulder, "Calm down, boy." He said easily, a usual voice of reason. "Rufus wasn't ready for all this and that's my fault, okay? I should've forced him to leave the gun in the car."

"Yeah, you should've." Jet growled but he'd toned it down.

"We know how Rufus can be," Dean added from the floor where he was holding Cas. It wasn't the most comfortable for him but he felt Castiel calming down little by little, he didn't dare move. "Don't worry Bobby, it was an accident."

"Sorry," Rufus grunted, a rare occurrence from the man who normally held himself up at home alone. "I messed up this time."

Jet took a deep breath to calm himself down and looked down at Dean, "Did Cas get shot?"

"No, I don't think so." Dean ran his hand down Cas' back and over his sides one at a time, he couldn't find any warm wet spots. Cas also wasn't trying to nurse any wounds, Dean felt pretty safe in assuming Cas wasn't injured. "I think he's okay, at least that way."

"Good," Jet smiled and ruffled Cas' hair before he walked over to Rufus in the doorway, "Go put that outside, please."

"Sorry boys," Bobby said again tiredly, "I messed up too."

"It's okay," Dean said again though he figured Bobby was talking to Sam and Jet that time since neither of them seemed to say anything before.

"No one got hurt," Sam added helpfully, "We're all a little frazzled, that's it."

"We're cool," Jet agreed and gave Bobby a confirming nod. "Mind showing him the way? It's a big place."

"Yeah," Bobby adjusted his hat and led Rufus back out the door.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Jet pushed a hand through his hair after the two were gone, he went down the stairs again left Dean lying there with Cas. Castiel was heavy, he made no attempt to hold himself up or support the weight of his wings, nothing. He just curled up against Dean's chest and remained still, his breathing had gone from a gentle rise and fall to erratic and continued to slip.

Dean slowly caressed Cas' hair, fingers trailing through the dampened locks, lingering on Cas' skin. Castiel had broken into a cold sweat, soft whimpers started to escape him and Dean wasn't sure what he could do or say. He was worried but freaking out at the same time wasn't going to help. He felt tears burning at his eyes and he let them fall, he just kept one arm around Castiel's shoulders and traced a hand over his head gently. All Dean could think to do was show Cas physically that he was there, that he was going to keep Cas safe.

It stung to hear Castiel crying like that, quiet whining escalated into sobbing and Cas' fingers dug into Dean's shirt, scraping once at the skin below as his hands closed into firmly clenched fists. Dean recognized the general feeling that Cas was going through, it was like a panic attack mixing with left over hysteria from the moment. Dean cried silently as Castiel broke down in his arms, sobbing rising into wails and ragged breaths.

The rest of the room was silent as Castiel fell into one of the most human things he'd done so far. Overwhelmed with everything happening to him he just crumbled into pieces, Dean was glad he could be there to hold Cas as it happened but he felt awful for letting it occur in the first place.

No one said a word as the minutes ticked by, there was a small whispered conversation but it wasn't loud enough for Dean to hear over Cas. He waited as Castiel's breakdown slowly calmed, tears slipped from his eyes while he listened to the quieting gasps for air. Cas lowered into a dull pain, his chest heaving as he caught his breath, coughing just a little.

Cas' fingers loosened on Dean's shirt but pulled down, curling closer to his face. "I don't want… to be like this…" he whispered hoarsely and Dean held him just that much tighter.

"I know," he replied gently, "I'm sorry, Cas."

"Is he okay?" Sam asked softly, he'd so quietly climbed the stairs that Dean had no idea he was there.

"I don't know," Dean ran his hand behind Cas' head and cradled it, "He's really upset…"

"It's the gun," Desirae popped into his vision and her sudden appearance made both Dean and Castiel jump.

Cas had no energy to be vicious or defensive, he just held onto Dean a little tighter and stared her right in the eye. Desirae stared back and after just a few seconds Cas huffed once and dropped his head back onto Dean's chest.

"They used guns a lot," she repeated a little softer and sat down, eyes glancing over Cas' wings and back up to his face. "Sometimes they shoot for fun."

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he could feel Cas calming down, physically loosening up and relaxing right on top of him. He kept sliding his hand over Cas' head, just a gentle petting motion to let Cas know he was still there. "It's okay," he said again, "The gun is gone, no one's going to hurt you." He was pissed as much as he was stressed out and hurt seeing Castiel break like that. He wanted to shout at Rufus, throw a punch or ten. He was livid but aggression wasn't what Cas needed to see, not right at that moment. Dean would handle it later, for that moment he needed to be there for Cas though he was glad Jet gave Rufus some shit.

After a few moments Desirae started to make little animalistic noises at Castiel who perked up and stared at her intently before responding with some of his own. Dean opened his eyes again and looked at Cas' face, his eyes were reddened from crying but they seemed to have a little sparkle in them as he grunted back and forth with the new kid.

"What're you doing, kiddo?" Jet asked as he sat down on the edge of the stairs, watching the little conversation he didn't understand.

"Talking to him," she smiled and inched closer to Cas who remained attached to Dean but still alert to her movements. "He understands what I'm saying."

"Clone language maybe?" Jet guessed out loud and Sam shrugged.

"Might have something to do with mental stuff?" Dean added, "You know, Cas can talk to me in my sleep, maybe she can communicate with him?"

"I don't care how it works, as long as she can tell him it's okay." Charlie sounded as torn up as Dean felt, he couldn't imagine what it was like for her to hear all of that. She must've been terrified to see Castiel so vicious and then see him almost get shot.

As Desirae continued to talk to Cas, Dean noticed the small changes in Cas' posture. Those little moments of understanding someone else and being understood were lifting him, almost making him lighter. Cas' wings had stopped drooping, no longer flat on the floor; they were now comfortably folded behind his back. His face was still tired but it had a little life again, like the misery he'd just felt wasn't at the forefront of his mind.

Castiel then looked at Dean with wide eyes again, more surprise than horror as they were before. "Dee," he whispered with a subtle laugh, "she knows what I say."

Dean felt a smile pull at his mouth and he nodded, he had to take a deep breath to quell the sudden rush of emotion. "Yeah? That's awesome, Cas."

Cas wiped his eyes and crawled higher on Dean so their faces could be level, "Thank you," he said slowly to make sure he'd said it right.

"You're welcome," Dean put his hand on Cas' cheek and brushed his thumb over a once damp trail, he was glad there were no more tears there. "Guess you had to let it out sometime, huh?"

Cas just smiled and leaned in close, Dean expected the tongue again, licking his mouth like before, but he was wrong. Castiel full on kissed him, a slowly deepening, impassioned kiss that made Dean's cheeks flare up. Heat rushed into his face and brought a pink hue to his skin as Cas continued. It wasn't like kissing an animal or someone who didn't know what they were doing, it felt like Cas really understood what it was and had a lot of practice.

Dean had to gasp for air when Cas lifted away; he stared up Castiel in awe and felt the little increase of admiration. "Cas," he could only find the single word in his vocabulary, Cas had stolen all the rest.

"I love you," Castiel said then, it was shaky but only in its delivery, Dean could tell that Cas meant it whole-heartedly.

Dean blinked and tried to find his ability to speak again, "Cas, I-" Castiel placed a finger over his lips to stop him.

"No," he shook his head, "not now. Don't… say it now."

Dean stared at Cas silently for a few seconds to understand where he was coming from. Castiel could understand what and who Dean was, Cas saw him and felt him, dreamed with him and knew exactly what Dean was about. It was easy to say for Cas, he understood that he meant it.

On the other hand, Dean only had guesses and assumed personality he could go off of to understand Castiel. Cas couldn't be sure Dean meant it in the same way until he was able to meet Cas as a whole. No old stories or videos, but Castiel Novak himself.

"Okay," Dean whispered and smiled, "I get it, Cas."

Castiel accepted that response and lifted himself off of Dean, allowing him to get upright again.

Jet looked at Desirae with a smile, "What'd he say to you?"

"He's glad Dean was here, he's mad at himself for going crazy, he hates guns." She shrugged and smiled up at Jet, "Also he's happy he can talk to someone, wants me to translate what he doesn't get."

Jet raised an eyebrow at her, "You know, you're very articulate for a kid…"

Desirae shrugged again but Charlie raised her hand as if she were in school or something, "I think I know, it might be the Cas clone part of her." Her chipper attitude didn't last much longer than that sentence; she looked over at Cas again with a melancholic expression Dean understood too well. "I'm sorry I couldn't help, Cas… I don't understand all the ways you've changed yet, I guess."

Cas tilted his head a little and looked over at Desirae who made incoherent noises at him in return. He then turned back to Charlie; Dean saw the gentle look in Cas' eye and hoped he'd say something kind to her. Charlie had been quiet for the whole exchange, he could already tell she was the type to internalize her trauma and pain and it worried him a little.

"I know," Cas said with a quiet smile, there was a sort of tranquility in his voice. Dean could feel it in Cas' tone, like Castiel had finally faced the agony he'd been put through. Somewhere in that last outburst Cas finally came face to face with the monstrosity he could be, the changes that were made in him. Dean knew that before, when Cas saw images of himself, he just snapped but went right back to normal. This time was different; it was more like Castiel really was in there and witnessing himself. Dean felt a lot of pride in knowing that, it was painful but he was so proud of Cas for coming so far.

Charlie wiped her eyes quickly before any of the others could notice too much. She didn't want to display how she was feeling, to make Cas feel bad for her or anything like that. But it wasn't enough to try and hide it; Castiel crawled over to her side and hugged her.

"I know you're… sorry, I forgive you," Cas spoke gently as he held onto her, "I forgive you… for everything. I missed… you," each pause was a struggle to get past, Cas fought hard to speak properly. Some of his pronunciation was off and inflections weren't always quite right, but overall he was doing so well.

Charlie sniffled hard and nodded, it was clear she was trying to keep it in, keep herself in one piece. It didn't work out that way, though. She clung to Cas and buried her face, it was quiet but Dean was pretty sure she was saying something to him. Telling Cas something only they would know, Dean didn't want to pry into it.

He looked over at Jet and Sam and watched as Desirae crawled back onto Jet's shoulders, "So what should we do about Rufus?"

"He's an idiot," Jet said again, "but I get why he freaked out. Bobby should've told him about Cas before coming down."

"I bet he did," Sam scoffed softly, "I think Rufus just didn't believe him, you know how stubborn he can be."

"Doesn't excuse almost shooting Cas," Dean grumbled, "but I guess we can give him another chance… He's not allowed near Cas anymore though."

"Or Rae," Jet added firmly.

"Alright," Sam stood up, "I'll head upstairs and talk this out with them, I seem to be the most level headed after that whole thing."

"Yeah," Dean sighed and looked over at Cas again, "if you let me up there I'll punch the bastard right in the nose."

"Can you do that anyway?" Jet chuckled and Sam shook his head at the both of them.

"C'mon, Rufus is rough around the edges but he's not evil, just jumpy." He walked off after that, stepping around Cas and Charlie carefully to exit the basement.

Cas finally let Charlie go, both were smiling with tears in their eyes. He looked over at Dean before shuffling back to his lap, "Dee?"

"What's up Cas?" Dean smiled and put his arms around Castiel's shoulders, just glad to have him there at all.

"Can we… eat? I'm hun…" he paused and attempted to say hungry. Not everything came easily, Dean wished Cas would just struggle with names but he guessed normal words would stump him a bit for a while too.

"Yeah, let's get some food." He took Cas by the hand and stood up with him. "C'mon guys, let's get out of here."

"Yeah, enough playing in the basement for now," Jet agreed and followed up after Sam's lead.

"I'll… catch up." Charlie smiled and trotted back down to the computer she'd been at. "I found something interesting, you guys go ahead."

"If you're sure," Dean called after her, "I'll make you something so you better come up at some point."

"I will!"

Castiel waved at her and led Dean up the stairs, not letting go of his hand for even a moment. Dean still couldn't believe how far Cas had come or what was going through the winged man's head. His mind was stuck on the words 'I love you' and he wanted to say them back. He could feel it burning at the back of his head, a response remaining unsaid until he could be certain that Castiel would believe it.

Not saying 'I love you too' was hard but Dean understood the importance. He knew that his response wasn't so he could feel better and know he returned his feelings, it was for Castiel to know. Dean promised himself he'd find the right moment to say it.

Author's Note:

Hey guys thanks for sticking around! I just wanna let you know that I drew Desirae, there's a picture of her on my deviantart account (zafona) as well as my art blog on tumblr (zafonart). So if you want to see a picture of her go check it out :)

As always I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I had a lot of fun writing it xD