* Sneakily uploads this update while most of you sleep, while whistling innocently *
Soooooooo... you all thought that I had left Killian as a boy!
You silly little peeps, I would NEVER do that, where would we get all our Captain Swan feels? lol
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, it tugged at my heart while I wrote it. Poor baby Killian is so lost but he is with the best people to help him, he just needs to realize it.
Emma had refused to let the tears fall in front of Henry but as she clicked the lock on the back of the washroom cubical door she slid to the floor and couldn't help the sobs that escaped her.
She had lost him.
After everything that they had gone through, all that he had battled in the last six months she had lost him anyway but somehow this seemed worse than if she had lost him to the Lost Ones. Her Killian was gone and yet still here at the same time but now when those impossibly blue eyes looked into her's he had no recognition of who she was and that was the part that tore her apart. All that remained of her love, of her very soul was a frightened little boy who needed help but she just couldn't bring herself to do it...she couldn't be the one to help him, it just too hard to know that this little boy was here and her Killian was gone.
So here she was trying to hide from the world in a public washroom at Storybrooke General.
"Emma" her Mom's voice was suddenly just on the other side of the door level with where Emma currently sat, she must have sat down on the floor too. "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere OK. You are not alone in this"
Another sob escaped Emma as her chest hitched, her Mom wasn't trying to tell her everything was going to be OK, she was just saying that she was there and for that Emma was grateful, she couldn't handle a hope speech right now.
After what seemed like an eternity Emma calmed herself down enough to grab some toilet paper to wipe her face and blow her nose before she sucked in a breath and finally opened the door to find her Mom standing just as teary eyed as she was. The tears that Emma had just managed to stop flowing were once again streaming down her face when her Mom stepped forward and pulled her into a hug, her hand came up behind Emma's head and pulled her into the crook of her neck.
"I've lost him Mom" she wailed and all that her Mom could do was hush her and rub her other hand up and down her back.
"I know Honey, I know" she soothed "But don't give up Emma, it's not over yet. Please don't give up hope"
And there it was, the "Hope Speech" but Emma couldn't say anything else she couldn't do anything other than try to keep breathing through her sobs.
Emma had been so consumed by her grief that she hadn't noticed that they were no longer alone so when Regina suddenly spoke by her side Emma found herself jumping out of her Mom's embrace and scrubbing her face with her hand.
"Sorry" she blurted out glancing up to look at Regina
"Don't you dare apologize Swan, I understand. I just came to let you know that Henry will be back soon. A nurse just came to tell us that his x-rays showed that it was a clean break so he's getting a cast put on right now. The boy has a broken arm too and is going to need stitches to close the wound on his head, Whale is going to deal with him in a few minutes once he's finished with Henry."
"OK thanks, I'll be out in a minute" Emma gave a small smile but when she looked up she realized that the former Queen didn't look well at all, she was very pale and slightly clammy looking "Regina? Are you OK?"
Regina just gave a tight smile "I'll be fine Swan, don't worry about me but you need to sort yourself out for both Henry and Killian, those boys need you"
Emma shook her head and sucked in a deep breath "I don't know if I can do this."
"Oh Emma" her Mom cried bringing her hand up to rub Emma's back again "That boy is so confused and scared right now but you just need to look at him Emma, he is still Killian, your Killian is still in there and he needs you to find him"
Emma blinked hard at her Mom's words, she was right. This was still Killian and he had just been torn away from everything he knew, he needed her and what was she doing? Hiding in a bathroom when he needed her to be finding a way to fix this, was she or was she not the savior?
"You're right" she said suddenly standing up straighter and huffing out a breath "Lets get back"
"That's my girl" Mary-Margaret beamed.
An hour later Emma found herself sitting in the chair next to the boy's bed hugging him to her front as he lay in her arms sleeping after he had been admitted for the night. The kid was covered from head to toe in bumps and scrapes along with his broken arm but he also had a concussion and Whale had said he wanted to carry out further tests in the morning, something to do with the Kid's heart!
Killian had openly cried when they had put the cast on his arm and stitched the cut on the back of his head, he was completely confused as to what was going on and Emma couldn't help herself when she had pulled him into her arms and rocked him back and forth until he had settled.
He had been terrified., what else was she supposed to do?
Killian had looked exhausted when he had finally stopped crying and Emma could tell that he was in pain even though he wouldn't admit it but Whale wouldn't let him have anything stronger than kids strength Tylenol due to his head injury so all Emma could do was try and soothe him with her voice and it had finally paid off ten minutes ago when he had nodded off as she calmly told him a story about a boy and his fairy tale book in a hushed tone. Emma sighed to herself knowing that she would have to wake him again in an hour for his concussion check and that he would probably freak out all over again.
"Do you want to try putting him back in the bed?" her Dad whispered
But Emma shook her head, she found it comforting having him so close even if he wasn't her Killian something just felt familiar, he smelt of the sea. She dropped a kiss onto the crown of his head and she pulled him in closer, her Dad didn't argue he just gave her a sad smile.
Regina had left with Henry and Mary-Margaret about twenty minutes earlier after they had all convinced her to spend the night at the loft, she had a couple of cracked ribs and a slight concussion but had refused point blank to be admitted giving Whale a look of utter contempt that had him practically running from the room seconds after he had suggested it.
David on the other hand had a few bumps and scrapes but had managed to break two fingers on his left hand from digging through the rocks, these were were now taped together and were a very impressive shade of varying degrees of purples and blue. He had refused to leave Emma and Killian alone at the hospital so here they all were in a private room on the Children's Ward watching the kid sleep.
Emma herself had come off relatively unscathed just a bump to the head that had needed a few stitches but she had had much worse so she shoved it to the side and concentrated on the boy in her arms instead. Whale had brought in a comfortable chair in which she now sat and another bed had been wheeled in a few minutes ago but Emma knew that she wouldn't be using it, she wouldn't be sleeping tonight.
"We'll fix this Emma" her Dad's voice broke through her thoughts and she looked up to see him staring at Killian lying in her arms.
"I hope so" she sighed "Have you spoken to Blue yet?"
"Yeah, she's going to look into it" he shifted slightly looking uncomfortable "Look, I know that Hook would hate the idea but I think we should ask Gold for help too"
"You're right, he would hate it but he's not here and I say that if anybody will be able to help it will be Gold. I'll talk to Belle, she always has a way of making his best side show"
David just nodded but Emma could tell that something else was bothering him.
"What is it? Spit it out" she suddenly said and his eyes jumped up to meet hers
"I just want to know what the hell happened in that cave. When I left everything was fine, I was literally gone for two minutes and the cave collapses, you and Regina have lost your magic and we're left with Jones Junior here"
"I wish I knew the answers Dad, the last thing I remember is kneeling down next to Henry when he pulled that gold box out of the sand... then there's nothing until you were pulling the rocks off of me"
The silence just hung in the air for a few minutes until Killian moaned in his sleep and Emma's eyes were back on him in a second bringing her hand up to trail her fingers across his forehead when he frowned deeply, he must have been dreaming. His eyes danced about beneath their lids and before she knew what was happening he sat up straight and cried out for Liam again.
"Hey hey hey, it's OK. You're OK" she soothed quickly pulling him into her front and he didn't fight her he just folded himself into her embrace and in seconds he was sleeping again.
"He OK?" David asked gently
"Yeah" she replied not taking her eyes from the boy in her arms, he really was a beautiful child. She didn't know why that surprised her, Hook was the most handsome man she had ever met but as she looked at the boy lying in her lap it was hard to think of them as the same person yet her heart still swelled with love when the boy's hand came up and clutched onto her shirt, he still needed her and she wasn't going to let him down.
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David perched himself on the deep window sill as he watched over Emma, she had just fallen asleep and he didn't want to move in case he disturbed her. He would wait until she was really out then he'd get the boy back into bed.
His Daughter was coping better than he thought she would, hell she was coping better than he was. David didn't even want to think about how hard this must be for Emma, just the thought of this happening to Mary-Margaret was enough to send panic straight to his heart.
He found himself glancing up at the clock to find that it was nearly midnight, God it had been a long day but David was still none the wiser as to what actually happened back in that cave. Regina had no answers either and he hadn't had a chance to talk to Henry about it with all the stuff going on with the boy but David promised himself that as soon as his Grandson arrived in the morning he was going to quiz him, he needed answers.
Movement on the chair had David on his feet and moving when he realized that Killian was dreaming again, he didn't want him waking up Emma so he stooped quickly and pulled the boy up into his arms and let his head fall on his shoulder again. He bounced him a few times to calm him like he often did with Neal bringing his hand up onto the boys back and rubbing soothing circles. It brought a sudden smile to his face, Hook would kill him if he ever found out about this but the smile fell from his face when he realized that that might never happen.
Were him and Snow going to be left to help Emma raise Jones Junior instead of watching Hook and Emma raise their own child?
Killian quickly settled again and David made his way back over to the bed and gently laid the boy down but just as he was stepping back Killian's eyes popped open to gaze up at him with that same petrified look that David had first seen on the beach earlier that day.
"I want Liam" he said quietly, more tears were falling again as the boy's features crumpled and he was sobbing again, turning onto his side slightly and hugging his pillow as he wailed "Why does everyone leave me?"
David just shushed him as he rubbed his hand across the boy's back but in the next second Killian was scrabbling to his knees and clamping his arms around David's neck.
"I'm frightened" he cried against David's throat and his heart went out to the kid, this whole place must be so scary to him so David pulled him back up into his arms and hugged him tightly. The crying lasted for a good ten minutes before Killian finally went quiet but just before the kid had finally fallen asleep again he had whispered in David's ear "Please don't leave me"
David knew that he couldn't let the boy down so after he had lowered the now sleeping Killian back down onto the mattress he quickly used the washroom, kicked off his shoes and pulled himself up onto the bed next to the boy and pulled him back into his arms.
This kid was never going to feel abandoned again...not if David had anything to do with it.
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Killian came too slowly, the first thing he became aware of was the roaring of the waves near by but when he opened his eyes he panicked when he was met by only darkness, why could he not see?
He realized after a few minutes that he hadn't lost his sight, he just couldn't see because it was dark outside which in itself was not a good thing as he still lay crumpled on the sand shivering slightly at the cool temperature. He tried to flip himself over so that he wasn't breathing in sand but the minute his left leg moved he screamed out in agony and his hearing dipped again.
"Swan" he groaned, where was she?
Then panic slammed him right in the gut as an image of Henry cowering by his side, boulders raining down on him flashed through his mind and he was moving without thought of the pain that would surely follow.
"HENRY" He screamed clawing his way back up the rocks using his hook and his right elbow to maneuver himself, his hand didn't seem to want to open. Killian didn't make it very far though, his left leg was useless and his hip was screaming at him to stop and in the end he couldn't pull himself any further but he wasn't done, not yet so after a few minutes rest he set off again until he came across something in the dark, his heart leapt until he realized that it was only Henry's forgotten bag.
"Damn it" he yelled out then hissed as his own voice tore through his sore head.
He lay panting on the rubble for a while and he may have passed out again he wasn't entirely sure. It was so dark he had no way of knowing if time had passed or not but the waves sounded a bit further away so he assumed that he had but didn't dwell on it, it really made no difference.
Killian squinted his eyes into the darkness trying to will himself to be able to see when he had a sudden thought, Henry had put a flashlight into his bag!
Getting the flashlight out was not easy without the use of his hand but finally he managed to tug the bag open with his hook and pulled the light out before jamming it beneath his right wrist and flicking it on with his teeth getting a mouthful of sand for his troubles.
He managed to get the flashlight between his wrists and flopped over onto his back again holding it up to try and shine it around the cave, it was awkward and as he twisted and turned he grit his teeth trying in vain to stop the pain the movement was causing. There was no sign of the others, nothing to show if they were alright or not and in the end he realized that either they had left thinking he was dead or they were lying beneath the rocks he currently lay on... he gulped unwilling to think about it any longer.
He lay for a while having let the flashlight fall across his chest where it pointed down towards his legs and when his eyes fell on his ruined left one his stomach lurched at the sight, his leg was clearly broken and a shiver ran through him as he remembered the crack that he had heard earlier when he had freed himself to tumble down the rocks.
"Gods" he sighed out and let his head tip back onto the rough surface behind him, he could feel dried blood coating his face and neck that had obviously flowed from one of the wounds on his head but he didn't know which one, he knew he had a few and in the end it didn't really matter, he could do nothing about any of them anyway.
He had to get out of this cave.
He lay thinking to himself, trying to figure out what his options were.
If the others had gotten free but had failed to find him surely they would return or alternatively if they hadn't escaped and lay beneath the rubble a rescue team would surely be sent in with the next low tide either way someone should be arriving soon, he would just have to wait.
He found himself closing his eyes, the pain was getting too much again and the sight of his leg just made it feel worse, he did consider turning off the flashlight but he had never been a fan of the dark... he wasn't scared per se but even as a child his Father had left a lamp on in his cabin, it was something to focus on when he awoke and found himself alone and right now it was something he needed as he heard Devin's voice in the back of his head. He was barely managing to keep the demon at bay and the thought of the darkness was something he wasn't willing to face, he had to focus, he had to stay strong.
"Where are you Swan? I need you" he whispered into the night "I need you Love"