Author's Note:

I have to say that some of the comments I've gotten on this story have been incredible. I can't respond to you guys like I can on AO3 but please know that I love the reviews. Some of you have guest accounts and I can't PM you but trust me I read everything and I would say stupid things in reply to basically everything. I hope you guys are having a good day, and to those affected by the recent celebrity deaths my heart goes out to you. Take care guys :)

Dean understood what Charlie had done; it was more to her than just animal starvation. She wouldn't say it out loud but he could tell she questioned Castiel's mind, she questioned his humanity and the existence of things like him and Desirae. Those two started off as humans, the rest as far as they knew were just animals. Euthanizing animals was one thing but there was always the question of what if there were more creatures like Cas, more like Rae. Charlie couldn't possibly know, Dean didn't know and he was certain that their two unfortunate experiments wouldn't have a clue either. No one knew but a man who had died in the previous week or so.

Charlie's heart was in the right place, she never meant to be selfish or cruel but Dean couldn't help but consider that she had been. The torture that those creatures would've gone through, in her eyes, would make living too difficult. Sparing them would leave them to a longer life of suffering, they'd be left with their nightmares and memories of what happened. Some wouldn't even know, some were just mindless. But, in the case of something like Rae, if it were spared it'd have to live with a twisted life. Dean knew Charlie wanted to save them from that, from a crueller fate than what they'd already endured, but he didn't think it was really her call to make.

The animals that they came across, things that had no thought process and were just suffering in a cage, he could justify killing. Burning them instantly made sense, but Dean would have preferred to go to each cage and decide that on his own. He never asked to know that those beings existed at all, he didn't want to know that people like Cas had been tormented for years but it was something he knew anyway. That knowledge had been placed in front of him and he couldn't change it; even if Charlie wanted to save them from more agony and rejection from the world Dean wasn't entirely sure he agreed with it.

But then again he didn't disagree either. It was a difficult call and he didn't think that it was his choice to make, but Charlie was smart. He didn't take her for a foolish person; she had probably thought all of that through. She'd taken into account the choices and consequences of each decision, one thing was for sure, she could never leave the ones starving to their slow and painful death. He was sure she knew that it wasn't for her to decide what creature in that lab could live and what would have to die, it wasn't anyone's choice really. No one in that building had the right to do what she'd done, maybe that was why she did it without consulting anyone else.

Dean could speculate all night but he didn't want to. Their morality could be questioned until the end of time, but as far as he wanted to believe they'd done all they could to be in the right.

Over the evening Dean had called Bobby and explained the situation with the bodies, they still wanted help clearing up whatever might be left but it was a considerably easier job. Bobby had been skeptical about it too, his thoughts on the euthanasia were kept silent but Dean could almost hear them in his dad's tone.

They sat watching shows in the living room, Castiel and Desirae were pretty mesmerized by the screen and kept mostly busy. Cas was at Dean's side as always, every now and then asking a question about what was happening or why someone might've done what they had. Dean was proud of him for trying at all; Cas' curiosity wasn't just because he didn't understand but because he wanted to.

Charlie was in charge of their viewing that night and she'd chosen an old anime called Yu Yu Hakusho; Dean didn't recognize it as much as Sam did but apparently they'd watched it together a long time back.

"Why is kissing… a nightmare?" Cas asked after one main character freaked out about a dream where he kissed another main character.

"Well…" Dean scratched the back of his head, unsure of what to say.

"I thought… that…" Cas paused and took a slow breath, focusing on his words, "I thought he liked… his friend? He was… so sad before." Dean could tell that it difficult for Castiel to speak so much in one day but he felt so excited to hear it that he didn't mind waiting for each moment Cas had to stop and start again.

"Some people are uncomfortable with two people of the same gender kissing," Charlie explained for Dean, "And some people freak out when they even imagine doing it themselves."

Cas stared at her intently and glanced over at Desirae who looked between him and Charlie before muttering something no one else understood. Dean watched the exchange and the look on Cas' face as he listened to Rae's explanation.

"We don't get it," Desirae proclaimed as she looked back at Charlie with a firm nod.

"I kinda do," Cas said meekly, "It's… familiar."

Charlie sighed lightly and nodded, "Yeah, you used to stand up to people like that, remember?"

Cas' eyes narrowed as he lost himself in thought, trying to remember old things about himself. It made Dean question how much of Cas was present and how much was still missing. Sometimes he seemed to know exactly what he used to be like and other times it slipped away from him. Dean figured that patience would be required for that too.

His mind went right back to the look on Cas' face, the best kiss he'd ever had and what Cas said after. I love you. Dean wanted to say it back, to tell Cas how much he mattered and how much Dean cared for him, but he couldn't do that. Cas asked him to wait, Cas didn't believe Dean knew him yet, not well enough. Dean couldn't deny it either, Charlie knew more than he did and even Cas seemed hazy. It wasn't fair to say it, not yet. But that didn't stop Dean from thinking it, maybe he could tell Castiel in his dreams?

"Didn't you… help me?" Cas looked up at Charlie, his brow was creased but there was a look in his eye that Dean recognized. He'd seen it in Cas' face before, it was the only time he'd seen Castiel Novak in his dream.

"I did," Charlie smiled, "You helped me first, though."

Cas tilted his head and Desirae said something to him right away, Dean figured it was probably a repetition of what Charlie had just said. "I understood," Cas told her gently with a smile and Rae turned her head away, a little grumpy she had misunderstood his confusion. Cas curved his wing over her and pulled her closer to nuzzle her cheek. "Thank you, Rae." He said as she giggled and nuzzled him back.

"You're welcome," she pushed him away playfully and hopped back across the couch, perching on the armrest proudly.

"Hey," Jet called as he walked into the room, a smirk on his face as usual, "I'm back and I-" he was cut off when Desirae leapt off the couch and tackled him. The amount of strength she had in such a tiny body was more than enough to surprise Jet, she knocked him right off his feet and they both hurdled to the ground.

"You're late!" She told him as she crawled up to his face, completely unfazed by the change in altitude.

Jet groaned and placed a hand on her head, "Sorry kiddo, I didn't realize."

"I forgive you," Desirae stated and looked over at the bags he'd dropped, "What'd you get?"

"Stuff," he smirked and sat upright, curling an arm around her waist he stood up again and adjusted his grip on her, "Were you good?"

"She was awesome," Dean gave a thumb's up, "Ate everything I made and didn't complain once."

"It was burned," Sam explained with a stifled laugh and Dean glared at him for it.

"Better than nothing," Jet grinned and gathered up the bags again, Desirae had a good enough grip that he barely needed to hang onto her when tipping her sideways. "So, since you were so awesome, here," he handed her one of the bags.

She didn't hesitate to dig into it and pulled out different bits of fabric, "What's this? Is it clothes?"

"Yep," Jet tossed a bag to Dean, unfortunately Dean wasn't looking at that moment and it hit his head first.

"Dude," he grumbled and grabbed the bag off the floor, "gimme a head's up next time." Looking inside he found new pairs of pants and some interesting shirt options. Open-back shirts were commonly meant for women but Jet managed to find some that looked at least somewhat unisex. Not that Dean minded whatever Cas wore, but he was sure that it'd be appreciated later on when Cas remembered more of himself.

"Good?" Jet asked Dean as he put Rae down to check out her own little gifts.

"Yeah, we'll see." Dean handed them to Cas to look at, "Thanks man."

Castiel pulled out the pants and sniffed them, "This is mine?" he asked as he lifted them up and inspected them in the light. "I prefer Dee's."

Dean snorted out a laugh, "Well sometimes I need to wear my own pants, so you'll need something."

"You have more than one pants." Cas told him indignantly, Dean loved the little pouty look he'd gotten.

"I do, but we thought you might want to have stuff of your own, you know? Something that's just for you, something you own."

Castiel stopped to consider that, his expression was thoughtful and his mouth pulled tighter as he stared at his new items. "I don't need… to own things." He said quietly, "But thank you, Dee."

"You're welcome," Dean smiled and took out the shirts, "And check it out, you can wear a shirt now, there's no back so your wings won't get stuck."

That seemed to have Cas' interest, he cooed a little bit out of habit and attempted to put them on. Of course he didn't quite get it right so Dean moved to help before he had to be asked to do it. He liked the design of them, Jet was no slouch when it came to figuring out fashion and it was pretty clear by how long he'd been away that he spent a good amount of time on it. These weren't just random shirts that might look good, Jet put effort into it.

Cas fluttered his wings and hopped away from the couch to see if he could really enjoy wearing a shirt at all. His wings flexed and stretched out, moving at the base to see if any movement might impede him, from his expression Dean guessed that Cas was satisfied.

"How's it feel, Cas?" He asked with a smile and Castiel turned one right back at him.

"I like it!" he exclaimed excitedly and ran his hands over the fabric, curving over his hips and around on his stomach. Dean couldn't help but stare, he tried not to but Cas enjoying feeling himself just sent Dean's mind right to the gutter.

"Looks good," Sam commented, "Great job as always, Jet."

"Thanks," Jet scoffed softly, as if he never questioned it, and looked at Desirae who was inspecting her items carefully. "So? Did I get anything your style?"

Dean noticed she had quite the selection to choose from; there were pretty things, dull things, different types of styles and looks. Dean wasn't surprised but it made him laugh a little. "I dunno man, you sure you got enough stuff to pick from?"

"Shut it,"

"I like this one," She finally said and lifted up a plain, silky dress. It didn't have frills or fancy trim, just simple shoulder straps and about knee length.

"Good pick," Jet knelt down on the floor with her, "Anything you hate?"

Dean smirked and looked over at Sam while Jet figured out Desirae's wardrobe with her, "You've got a keeper."

Sam rolled his eyes but he was still smiling, "Yeah, well you knew that when you decided to be his friend."

"I miss anything cool?" Jet asked, interrupting their conversation on purpose Dean was sure.

"Not much," Charlie was quick to respond, Dean wasn't sure she wanted Jet to know but it wasn't something he was planning on lying about. He understood why she'd be nervous, Jet had plucked Desirae from one of those cages, he might be a little more sensitive to the idea of burning everything down there alive.

"We cleared out the basement," he said simply and knew that Jet's confused expression was aimed his way.

"Cleared out…?"

"There was a 'clean all' mode," Sam tried to be sensitive to it too; Cas and Desirae were present and could be just as upset by the idea. None of them were sure if that would actually happen, but being careful was a better option with temperamental people.

"Oh," Jet raised his eyebrows and looked at each of them, "So, was it on purpose?"

"Yeah," Dean admitted solemnly, "We decided that it was best." He could feel the odd look Charlie was giving him, he knew she was confused as to why he'd say 'we' and not explain that she had been the one to do it on her own. He knew Jet, though. He knew the thought process his friend would take and he was certain that Jet would accept a decision made by either Dean or Sam in that regard. Charlie hadn't been with them as long, Jet wouldn't consider her judgement to be good enough just based on his trust levels with her. It was just a safer course to take when explaining something that big.

Jet was quiet for a bit, his expression didn't give much away as to what he was thinking but ultimately he nodded his head. "Starving to death is a horrible way to go; I guess it's a mercy."

"What do you mean?" Desirae asked curiously and Jet smiled at her.

"Nothing you need to understand right now, don't worry about it." He ruffled her hair and turned to Dean again, "I didn't know there was a 'clean all' that was so accessible,"

"That's one of the things I found," Charlie joined in hesitantly, "In some of the encrypted notes MacLeod kept there was a code for the, uh, clean up."

"Hm," Jet's gaze lingered on her for a second but it looked more thoughtful than judging, "Did it get the clones too?"

"That I don't know," she admitted and Dean shrugged too, "I think it got everything though, it looked like all the cages were cleaned out."

"Not the one Cas was in," Dean looked at her, "I didn't see his pop up."

"Maybe he didn't want to clean out Cas," Sam shrugged, "But I'm sure the clones would've been part of it, they weren't all friendly, I'm sure they'd have made a safety plan."

"Maybe," Jet agreed though he didn't sound too convinced, "But if the cages were all that got cleaned out it might not have gotten them, weren't they in a separate section?"

"Yeah," Dean nodded, "We'll have to check that out at some point."

"I'll come," Cas stated determinedly, his gaze on Dean was serious and Dean knew just by looking at it he'd never be able to tell Cas no.

"Right, of course." He sighed and pat Castiel's shoulder, "Though I'd like it if you didn't."

"I will come with." Just as Dean figured, Cas didn't take that as a proper response. "I'm not asking, Dee."

"Okay," he conceded, "Sorry, I guess I just don't want you to go near stuff like that anymore."

Castiel's expression softened and he looked away, "I don't… understand everything you say. … But I want to go."

Dean reached over and turned Cas' face back his way, "But why?" he asked earnestly, "Those clones were part of your torture, they were used against you and on you and all kinds of shit I don't know." Dean's jaw clenched and his hands felt tense as he lowered them into his lap, "Why would you want to go near something like that?"

Castiel looked at him, a drawn out silence followed until he opened his mouth briefly, "I…" he stopped and took a deep breath. "You're worried… I'll be hurt?" Dean knew that Cas didn't quite understand everything he'd said but the basic message was still there, that was good enough.

"Yeah," Dean took Cas' hands in his and leaned closer, "I worry about you." He said carefully, slow enough that Cas could understand what he meant. "I care what happens to you, physically and mentally. I don't want you to do things that might scare you."

Cas listened and Dean repeated it again, just in case. He tried to keep his tone as far away from condescending as he could, even if Cas knew what he said the first time it was still more poignant to hear it twice.

"Thank you," Cas whispered, "Thank you, Dee."

He felt an emotional wave crashing into him but he held it together and did his best to smile normally. It still felt a little sad but he was sure he managed it well enough, "You're welcome, Cas. So will you stay away from those things?"

"No," Cas replied and Dean felt like maybe he was trying to convince a brick wall not to be made of brick. "I know I'll be… scared, Dee. I know, but I… …" he struggled, cleared his throat, Dean was patient. "I need to keep you safe."

"Cas," Dean whispered and Cas shook his head.

"You're right, I was… tor… torch…" he sighed and gave up on the word, "They hurt me. I know what they… can do, that's why."

"You were hurt so you want to come?" Dean repeated heatedly, "That doesn't make sense, Cas."

"Sure it does," Jet interrupted them, "He understands better than anyone what those things could do, that's why he wants to come. He knows that he's necessary to protect us if we go near them. I say he comes with,"

"I don't know," Sam added his two cents; he sounded like he was on Dean's train of thought with the situation. "Cas has come a long way but maybe seeing those clones could be a bad idea."

"Then we wait," Jet decided for them, "Cas is coming with, we can't stop him but we can change when he goes. Right now those things are locked in a room; if any of them are alive they can't get out until we let them so I say we wait."

"Fine," Dean relented and looked at Cas, "That sound good to you?"

"Yes," Cas' eyes lit up in a way Dean couldn't really deny him, there was so much joy and relief that Dean couldn't ever say no again.

Sam bit lightly at his lip and looked flatly at his boyfriend, "You know, your unyielding trust in Cas' ability might come back to bite us."

"Yeah well he's never done anything to change my mind." Jet smirked and looked at Cas who very proudly gave him a thumb's up, just like Dean had done.