"So, what should we get them?" Wally asked. "I mean, what do you get the guy who has EVERYTHING?"
"Hookers." Roy mumbled under his breath.
"What? Roy, you have an idea?" Wally demanded.
Roy stared. "What! No- I was... I was singing!" he said, wanting to kick himself across the room. There was no WAY he was explained what hookers were to his little siblings.
"But, seriously, what do we get them!? Batman and GA are rich! They've got EVERYTHING!"
"I got it!" Dick said, running into the room. He was brandishing a picture from a Black Friday Ad.
Roy looked confused. "Bed sheets?"
"Egyptian cotton bed sheets! They're really fancy, and they're only two dollars a set, it's a door buster! We can afford them..."
"I'm sure both Batman and GA have Egyptian cotton bed sheets at home, though." Roy said.
"Yeah. But do they have them on their beds in the WATCHTOWER?" Scarlet asked.
"Sweet! And we can get bedsheets for like EVERY person in the tower! They're only two bucks a piece..."
"Except the sale starts at two am." Dick said. "Oh well. We'll just have to get there early."
They spent all of that week scrounging, picking up change and saving allowances, they'd each managed to scrounge up ten or so dollars.
"Black Friday starts Thursday this year. We have be there six hours early!" Wally announced. And so they did.
They went to bed like normal, Dick and Scarlet soundlessly slipping out the windows. Wally and Roy did the same, and they all started camping out near the front of the store.
A large, mean lady strode up to them. "Move." she ordered, scowling down her nose at them.
"We were here first!" Wally said defensively, giving her an equally mean glare.
"Oh?" she stepped on Scarlet's hand then with her heavy boot, and Scarlet yipped, trying desperately to pull her hand out from under the boot.
"Okay, that's it, Lady! You're second in line! Now leave my sister alone!"
"And if I don't?"
"I'll call the cops." Roy said, flashing his cell phone screen. It showed he'd already dialed the number.
The woman scowled. "And if I call your bluff?"
"Oh, I'm not bluffing. And I'll have you arrested for assaulting my sister's hand!" Roy really wanted to punch her, but he held back. This woman was a civilian, and while she was a jerk, she didn't deserve to be punched... yet.
The woman scowled and backed off, and Dick wrapped Scarlet's injured hand in his scarf, sighing. "I'm glad that's over with."
Roy shook his head. "People get really crazy around black Friday- that was only the first of many battles."
And Roy was right. By the time two a.m. rolled around, they'd been kicked, stomped on, and an old lady who'd asked politely to cut in front of them had 'accidentally' let her dentures fall onto Dick when they refused, saying then the whole line would want to cut.
"Remember the plan. We run right to Macy's, grab a cart, raid the bed sheet display, and check out. Nothing else."
Dick nodded. "Right. Unless..."
"No plan changes! Just In, bed sheets, out." Roy ordered. Then the doors opened.
"Roy!" He heard Dick's frantic screams as they were drowning in legs of frantic shoppers.
"Stick to the plan! The plan!" Roy yelled, bolting to his feet and running towards Macy's. He wished he could stay to help Dick, but the bed sheets were in more danger. Other people could buy them!
He hoped Scarlet and Wally had escaped the carnage as the mass of people entering the mall. He sprinted up the down escalator, since there was less congestion, and ran into Macy's.
"Cart cart cart..." he mumbled frantically, looking around. There were no shopping carts!
He found one in the corner, then, grabbing it and racing towards the large bed sheet display.
He saw he wasn't he only one who'd escaped. For there, like a little angel atop the tree, was Scarlet. She'd climbed an artificial Christmas tree for a better vantage point.
"500 yards left!" she yelled. Roy started pushing feverishly towards there, and Scarlet jumped down, scampering towards the display before climbing to the top.
Shoppers were stampeding towards them...
"What color do I get!?" Scarlet yelled.
"ANY COLOR! JUST GET THEM!" Roy yelled.
Frantic shoppers had begun to tear the display apart, and Roy feverishly counted the sets of sheets he was throwing into the cart...
Somewhere along the line, Dick and Wally stumbled in to help, but someone looked up and saw Scarlet.
"Kid! Get down from there!" they hurled a package of bed sheets and Scarlet fell, the entire display going with her...
When people realized the bed sheets were scattered all around, they headed for the largest concentration of them, which was Roy's cart. Desperate hands reached into the cart, and Roy threw his body over it to stop them.
"Protect the cart!" Roy yelled. Scarlet fell on top of him, biting hands and forcing people back, and Dick and Wally pushed the cart through the carnage to the check-out...
"Gimme some of those sheets!" Someone yelled.
"You have too many! Give 'em to us!" someone else yelled.
Roy simply placed them all on the store counter. Store security made a protective barrier around the group and they all received two large bags of sheets before fleeing the mall, fearing for their lives...
They zetaed to the watch tower, all collapsing onto the floor a moment later.
"We... are never... going black Friday shopping... again." Roy got out.