"Scarlet, Dick- you need to participate in more activities at school." Bruce said calmly one night at dinner, after school had just started. "I know crime fighting keeps you busy, but Gotham doesn't- they expect you to be more outgoing. So you both need to join a sport. It'll double as training time and an extracurricular."
"But Dad..." Scarlet said, looking shocked.
"No. Dick, I have to play pretend for the press all the time- you two need to look more... normal. If you play sports, the press might quit hounding us. I need you guys to do this. So think about what you want to do for a few days, okay?"
Both children looked morose as they finished dinner and headed upstairs.
"Dick- I'm not good at sports. I mean, I am- that's the problem. If I'm too good, they'll suspect something..." Scarlet said.
Dick grinned. "I already have a plan. We just need to freak Bruce out enough that he doesn't want us in sports anymore... Now, come on int my room and I'll explain it to you..."
The next day at dinner, Scarlet and Dick exchanged grins.
"So, have you two figured out what you want to do?" Bruce asked.
"Sure did. I got onto the cheer leading squad." Dick said, beaming. Bruce choked on his milk, staring.
"You what?" he asked, shocked.
"I made the cheer leading squad. It's awesome- I get to do acrobatics and stuff, and the coach lets me wear pants in my uniform..."
Bruce nodded, trying to keep it calm. Dick had been an acrobat in the circus. But his son, Dick, a CHEERLEADER?
"And you, Scarlet? Did you get on the squad?" Bruce asked.
Scarlet shook her head. "Didn't try out. But I made the football team."
"The football team?"
"Yup. I'm going to need some pads, a helmet and some other stuff, but the coach says I'm light enough on my feet for it. He wants me to be a receiver. Practice starts tomorrow, so Alfred will have to pick me up a bit later. Same with Dick." Scarlet said calmly. "Oh, and I got my uniform. Wanna see?"
"Maybe later, Scarlet. Why don't you guys head on up and get ready for bed... No patrol tonight, everyone's in Arkham." Bruce said, and both kids raced upstairs, leaving a shocked Bruce downstairs.
"Something wrong, Master Bruce?" Alfred asked as he started to clear the dishes.
"Nothing, Alfred, it's just... Dick as a cheerleader? People will think he's... gay..."
"Is that a bad thing, Master Bruce?" Alfred asked, cocking an eyebrow. "If the boy enjoys it, I don't see why it's harmful."
"I guess, but... Scarlet is SMALL, Alfred, she's going to be playing football with boys much bigger than she is."
"You are the one who told them they need to join a sport, Master Bruce. As for your fears with Scarlet, perhaps you should speak to Lucius at Wayne Tech and have them develop shock absorbing football pads for Master Scarlet. She's fast enough she'll be able to hold her own. I seem to remember your father having similar concerns when you wanted to take a cooking class in middle school." Alfred said calmly.
Bruce sighed. "Yes, but... never mind. I'll figure it out." Bruce said, heading up to his room. But the chaos had just begun...