Life for me has dramatically altered again. Now that I'm with Namjoon, I've been living a new type of life. On the daily, I see him and spend time with him. He helps me with studies and we have fun. We've gone out in public together, for dinner and activities. The other day we went to Lotte World for the afternoon and acted like silly children. We sneak away to his home to play like lovers do sometimes, despite work.
I am no longer his assistant, no longer answering calls and feeding him reports. I am no longer struggling to communicate with Yoongi or Jimin. I am no longer answering to others with orders and information. I am Namjoon's precious trophy and I'm being treated like it. Gifts, experiences, gestures, everything. When we see each other, it's to be a couple and love each other. When he needs to stay at HQ for things, I get to laze around and hang with the others. They treat me like a queen and listen to what I say. I don't abuse the power though, I still respect the men who risk their lives for Namjoon. I have become friends with them all, on various levels. They like having me around, they've told me.
"You've changed him, he's more...happy, I guess," Yoongi told me one day in the lounge for him and Jimin.
"You've become a sort of pride for him and he loves to talk about you. He only does things with you in mind," Jimin also added the same day.
He recently took me shopping at COEX and I got a new outfit and a dress and special intimates. I've started wearing things around the house, and of course, Eomma and Appa have grown suspicious. But I lied and told them I got a new, good paying job, for experience and my resume.
"It will help get me ready for the real world soon. I want to make you both proud."
They accepted that and told me they love me. I no longer feel even the slightest amount of guilt for lying to them, I only feel happier that it's that much easier to be with Namjoon.
Today, I sit in his office before we go back to house for a homemade dinner. Yeserday, we went shopping to get the groceries so they're essentially fresh. I watch him work, looking over various things at his desk.
"You know what has been crossing my mind a lot lately?" I ask, wondering if he'll respond. He looks up from his place and tilts his head.
"What is that my love?"
"That' I'm about to step into the adult phase of my life. I should be worrying about university and my future..." I look over at him. "But that really shouldn't be a concern...I have you. What do I do because I need to convince my family that I'm at school, but why would I waste the time?"
Namjoon chuckles and puts his things down. "Well that just comes down to the question how do you tell your parents that you're in love with a gang leader?"
I laugh, "And for that matter, how do I explain that it's the same gang that killed my older brother?"
He laughs at that too, "Damn Hyemi, how did you get into this mess?"
"You had me dragged off the street and made a deal with me?"
"Oh right," he looks straight, acting. "I guess I did. Well that's unfortunate."
I roll my eyes. We sit in silence, now pondering the situation.
"We could always...runaway?" He suggests, looking at me for a reaction. I sit up at the idea, a bit baffled he'd suggest it.
"Are you serious Namjoon? That's so drastic...What about my parents? I told them they wouldn't lose me..."
Namjoon clearly didn't think about it, because he doesn't speak or retort. He understands that my family is hard for me. I love them but being that I love Namjoon more, it's very difficult to pick between the two. It's hard for one child to be lost, but for both, and to the same cause, that's impossible to survive.
"I'd have to think about it..." I say.