"Alright. So we're supposed to just let him sleep..." Dick said calmly. The eleven year old was sure he could handle this, it was already ten minutes into being alone, and nothing bad had happened.
Just then, Roy started giggling. Not his normal, stifled chuckle, but a giggle. A squeaky, girly giggle.
They all exchanged glances.
"Um... Roy?" Dick asked, looking at his friend nervously. Roy's eyes fluttered open and widened as he stared at them.
"Who are you people!?" Roy demanded, looking from one face to the next, shocked. "And- why are you in tights? Are you cross dressers? Oh my gosh, you're drag queens!" he said, obviously still hopped up on the drugs.
Dick face-palmed and Scarlet giggled. Dick pulled off his mask, as did Scarlet, and Wally put down his cowl, revealing their faces.
Roy blinked. "Oh my gosh, Dick, you shoulda seen it. There were these drag queens like everywhere..." he slurred
"Somebody film this!" Wally yelled. Scarlet had already pulled out her phone and Roy looked around, confused.
"Where's the paper towel?"
"What paper towel?" Dick asked, looking confused.
"Th-the paper towel they put around my chest at the dentists. I LOVED that paper towel!" and he started to cry.
"Somebody get him a paper towel!" Dick hissed, and Wally sped off towards the janitor's closet.
"Susan- Susan, where are you!?" Roy yelled through his tears, gauze doing little to help them make sense of his speech.
"Susan?" Scarlet asked, looking confused.
"My wife..." Roy sobbed.
Just then Wally zipped back in with a paper towel in hand. Roy noticed it and his expression transformed into one of rage.
"Get you 'ands off of my wife!" he yelled, spit flying from his mouth. He'd failed at saying the word hands due to the gauze in his mouth. He hugged the paper towel close to himself, though, and looked up suddenly, confused.
"I... I'm leaking..." He said, feeling the tears run down his face and looking shocked. "I'M LEAKING! HOLY CRAP I'M LEAKING!"
Green Arrow walked between Batman and Flash towards where the middle eastern leader was leading them. Suddenly, Roy's voice crackled across his comm.
"LEAKING! I'm leaaaakkkkiiinnnggg! HOLY CRAP, MY EYEBALLS ARE LEAKING!"
Oliver quickly powered off his comm, slightly shocked and more than a little concerned. The middle eastern leader, as well as Batman, Flash, and Superman, stared at him. Thankfully, Batman stepped in.
"It's code. We have our apprentices constantly monitoring the areas around making sure no terrorists or unauthorized personnel enter."
The leader nodded, looking impressed, and Oliver looked over at Batman, impressed as well. 'Good save.' he mouthed, and Batman imperceptibly shrugged. He'd had to make more than a few saves with Dick and Scarlet when they said the wrong thing in the company of high society. Still, just to be safe, they all quietly flicked off their comms.
"Get that away from him!" Dick yelled, horrified, as Roy continued screaming into his comm.
"Give it to me, Roy!" Wally yelled, pulling it away and throwing it across the room.
Roy stared after it before starting to cry again. "I can't stop leaking!" He wiped his face on the paper towel, sighing, relieved. "I love you Susan." he said to the now snot-covered, wet paper towel. "You're always there for me..."
Wally was giggling, now, and Roy looked at him, angry. "Don't laugh at my wife!"
"Dude- it's a used paper towel." Wally said, smiling.
"She is NOT ugly!" Roy yelled. And with that, he launched himself at the speedster, knocking him to the ground and trying his best to attack. Luckily, he was still uncoordinated from the laughing gas, so all he could really do was flap his noddle-like arms around and try his hardest to slap Wally.
Dick finally managed to pull him off, and Scarlet held up the phone, giggling.
"What is wrong with you!?" Roy yelled as Dick and Wally both pushed him back onto the couch, where he sat on his paper-towel wife, who he seemed to have forgotten.
"Roy, just calm down." Dick said, really hoping he wouldn't have to restrain his older brother.
Roy just blinked. "What are those?" he asked, pointing out the large window of the watch tower.
"That? Oh, that's space." Wally said, dusting himself off.
"Space?" Roy asked, cocking his head.
"Um, yeah. As in, big, endless vacuum." Wally said. need for science getting the best of him.
"Vacuum? Once there was this lady... and she was a lady... and she accidentally ran over her foot with the vacuum, and the vacuum SUCKED HER TOES OFF!"
Scarlet was still laughing now, laughing so hard she was shaking and tears rolled down her face. "Beautiful..." she said, breaking down laughing and dropping her phone.
"Yeah, beautiful isn't it?" Roy said absently. Then, once again, he burst into tears.
"Dang it, I'm leaking again!" he said loudly, and shuddered, crying even harder.
Dock sighed, setting a box of tissues on Roy's lap.
Roy stared at them, looking confused before recognition dawned on his face.
"It's a a TIME CAPSULE!" he said, looking excited. He tore out all the tissues, smiling, throwing them everywhere.
He looked around, finding a lightbulb in a nearby lamp and spending the next ten minutes fumbling to unscrew it.
Finally he did, though, and he stuffed it into the tissue box.
"I gotta preserve history! The future people will know who I am!" he said, hurrying towards a fake plant. He ripped off a plastic leaf, dropping it in as well, and then stuffing the TV remote in for good measure...
"Dude. We need that." Wally said, looking slightly concerned.
"No! This... this... DEVICE! This device... must be preserved for future people..."
"Forget the future generation! We need to change the TV channels!" Wally said.
Roy looked annoyed before he slapped Wally across the face, heading towards the kitchen. Scarlet giggled as Roy grabbed the salt shaker, dumping a healthy portion of it into the tissue box.
He looked around, noticing the oven and frowning.
He pulled open the door- it wasn't preheated, so it wasn't hot, and he pulled out the racks, crawling inside.
"Um... Roy? What are you doing?" Dick asked.
Roy started to cry again. "They said you could hear the ocean! I can't hear the ocean!" he said, tears rolling down his face. He grabbed at his eyes, shocked. "What does all this leakage MEAN!?"
Wally took the opportunity to try and steal the remote from Roy's 'time capsule', but, creepily, Roy's head snapped up as soon as Wally had touched it. "PUT IT BACK!" he barked. Wally dropped it back in and Roy crawled out of the oven.
"Well? What are you guys doing!?" Roy demanded. "We have to go tell Dumbledore he's gay!"
"What?" Dick asked, shocked, and Scarlet started laughing.
"Dumbedore's gay? DUDE- I was reading Harry Potter!" Wally yelled, looking shocked and horrified. "You just RUINED MY CHILDHOOD!"
Scarlet was on the floor laughing, and Roy glared at her. "Don't laugh! Dwarfism is a serious condition!"
To which she laughed even more.
Dick looked at the time, slightly shocked.
"Dude- we were supposed to change the gauze in his mouth an hour ago!"
"Whoa. Hang on a second-" Wally raced of of the room, running back in with a bag of gauze.
"Here you go." he tossed the bag to Dick, who nodded.
"Holy crap! Clouds in a bag!" Roy said, staring at the gauze.
Dick nodded. "Yeah. Roy, put these in your mouth for me, after you spit out the old ones..."
"There's clouds... in my mouth?" Roy asked, struggling to comprehend it.
Dick nodded. "Yeah. And they're old. You need new clouds..."
"No. I like my current clouds just fine, thank you..."
"Roy..."
Roy sighed, opening his mouth. Dick looked disgusted, but he reached into Roy's mouth anyways, going to fish out the bloody gauze.
Until Roy's mouth clamped shut on his hand.
"WALLY, HELP! ROY! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" Dick yelled, thrashing. Finally, Roy let go of his hand.
"Vivà old clouds!" Roy yelled, sprinting down the hall.
Needless to say, the leaguers zetaed back in to find Dick seated on the couch, reading the latest People Magazine, and Scarlet and Wally playing cards. Roy was duct-taped to the recliner in the corner with a pile of bloody gauze beside him.
"He said something in Spanish and started trying to break into the armory." Wally explained, and Oliver nodded dumbly.
"Oh- he wanted you to have this." Dick said, handing a bewildered looking Oliver the time capsule. "Was convinced we were going to kill him. Whatever that dentist shot him up with..."
Batman cleared his throat and Dick rolled his eyes. "I mean- medicated him with- it was pretty strong. We'll email you the video. It's pretty hilarious."
Oliver nodded, still looking uncertainly over at Roy.
"What happened to your hand?" Batman asked, noticing the blood on Dick's hand.
"Oh- that. He bit me." Dick said simply.
"You guys still managed to change his gauze?" Oliver asked.
They all nodded. "Wasn't that hard. Just had to keep spraying him with water whenever he tried to bite us. He came around a few times, seemed pretty normal, but we didn't want another... episode... to occur, so we left him taped up."
Batman nodded. "Good job, both of you..."
"They duct-taped him to a chair!" Oliver said, looking shocked as he started trying to cut his son free.
"You would've too." Scarlet said. "Just watch the video- we got the whole thing on tape."
Oliver took her phone from her, watching the video along with Superman and Flash...
"You guys managed to duct tape him when he was THAT pumped up about clouds and what not?" Flash asked, shocked.
Dick grinned. "Yep. Flash grenades. Don't leave home without 'em."