Arbok and Weezing

Tonight, the Contest Hall was packed, for this was no ordinary competition. The Coordinators were all young ones, under twelve years old, but they had two Pokemon a piece. Their proud parents, smiling grandparents, bored siblings, and excitable friends filled the seats. Joyful squeals and jealous tears were always a minute away. This was the Novice Contest of Friendship.

The hostess of the Contest smiled prettily on stage. Inside, though, she dreaded this Contest every year. There was always the little starlet, son or daughter of some famous Coordinator who had heaps of preparations, maybe even a 'borrowed' Pokemon from Mom or Dad. There was always the star-struck child, the one who dreamed of becoming an instant hit but was horribly ill-prepared. And then, worst of all, there always was the obnoxious one who threw a tantrum when he or she didn't win.

She had just gotten through the little starlet: a seven year old girl who was overdressed in a Hollywood brand name blue and white dress with a dozen ribbons, shiny black leather shoes that had never been worn before, frilly socks and gloves, a hair perm, and a Beautifly barrette with flashy gemstones. Her Pokemon were obviously Contest regulars with top-quality conditions: a Swellow that would sweep a regular Cool Contest and a Clefairy that was a certified Cute Master. But not a bit of that would have been her own work, leaving the other kids to eat her dust.

Still, the hostess froze that sugary smile to her face and made a grand wave. "Thank you Miss Jen and your darling Swellow and Clefairy. They make such sweet friends."

The Swellow and Clefairy posed cheerily right on cue. They probably hated each other, although most of the audience wouldn't realize that.

The hostess turned to the entrance door, giving a quick check to her prompt screen hidden there. "And next on the wonderful Contest of Friendship, we have Adam Richards! Let's give him a warm welcome!" And which kind of brat would this one be?

For a moment, no one came. The hostess felt the on-coming awkwardness when, with no warning, a puff of white smoke appeared on stage. A young boy, probably eight years old, came barreling through the smoke, missing tripping over the microphone wires by half an inch. Holding back his wild brown hair was a red headband with long ends trailing down his back. His attire would be frowned on during normal Contest hours: a brown shirt, brown pants, and dusty sneakers.

"HI!" he shouted as he came to a stop three feet from her. "I'm a ninja."

'It's the obnoxious one,' the hostess thought. Still, she wouldn't stop her smile; she had to put on a good show, no matter what. "Hello Adam. You're certainly that. That was a... an enthusiastic entrance."

"Ain't no other way to do it," he said, grinning and showing off a front tooth that was half-grown.

"So who are your two dearest Pokemon friends?"

"I'll show you!" He snatched up his two Pokeballs and released them at the same time. "Go Shady and Stinky!"

Yes, this would be the obnoxious one with terribly picked Pokemon. She braced herself as the two lights began to form onstage. The first thing that struck her was a horrible stench, like an outdoors trash can on a warm day. The other kids, especially the little starlet, all scrunched up their faces in response. Then the two Pokemon appeared and the reason for the smell was obvious. One of them was a Weezing, a large violet gaseous cloud with a yellow mark on it. That mark had been adapted for placement on all toxic chemicals. While not as bad, the other was an Arbok. Rarely, its kind were seen in Contests Halls. But Weezings, never.

"Poh-hosh-hosh," the Weezing Stinky announced himself proudly.

"Ssssss," the Arbok Shady added. She turned towards the other competitors, then raised herself up to show off her markings. These were fierce red and yellow markings that appeared eerily like a monster's face.

The other Pokemon were stunned into stillness. A few wailed in fear, gripping their child Coordinator for support. In particular, the starlet's Clefairy cried out, apparently asking for that scary Poison Pokemon to be taken away. Several of them wanted to run away, but stayed or hid behind somebody.

Shady flicked her forked tongue out, satisfied.

"Ninjas have got to master a lot of weapons," Adam said, ignoring the distress his Pokemon were causing. "But having great ninja Pokemon is important too!"

"I see," she replied carefully. Best get this one out of the way fast; the Weezing was looking at her with strange interest. "So Adam, tell me what you know about Shady's kind."

"Well Arboks can move real quiet like. They stay low to the ground and slither, so you can't hear them approach." To demonstrate this, he hunched his body over and took a few creeping steps forward. "And then they spring up and frighten their foe real fast!" He jumped up, holding his hands over his head. "While the foe's scared, they constrict them. And Arboks are real strong too. I've seen Shady crush a steel drum can like it was made of paper."

A Mawile in the group began crying again.

'Keep your cool,' the hostess told herself. "That's very strong," she told the obnoxious boy. "And what do you know about..." she would never be saying this name in a normal Contest, "Stinky's kind?"

"I know lots! I can tell you what kind of perfume you're wearing."

Surprised, she looked away from the Pokemon down to him. "You can?"

"Yeah, it's Sweet Dreams."

"That's right." A movement caused her to look over. The Weezing had crept closer to her, watching her with his main eyes and the disturbing stunted head attached to his... tail. "But what's that have to do with Stinky here?"

Adam grinned wide. "The chemists like Weezings, you see. They gather the poisons from Weezing, refine and extract them, then make really nice smelling perfumes with them. Some of the most expensive perfumes in the world use Weezing oils, and some not so expensive ones like Sweet Dreams do too. I can tell it's that one you're wearing, because Stinky thinks you smell like a lady Weezing."

They made her favorite perfume from that disgusting Pokemon? And that was why he had been watching her this whole time? The hostess gagged, then had to disguise it as a polite cough to regain her composed smile. Fortunately, Adam didn't seem to notice. He was looked back at his Weezing.

"But then he likes to hang out over dumpsters the day before trash day because he loves to eat that smell. Isn't that funny?"

"That's... that's very interesting, Adam," she said. "So what makes you three the best of friends?"

"Oh, they're very venomous Pokemon, but they never poison me! They come along with me on my ninja missions and make sure everything goes smoothly. So I've always succeeded in what I wanted to do and never got caught once doing it. They help make me a great ninja." Then he lost his smile for a moment and shrugged. "Although, I suppose I have to go learn from a ninja master someday. There's no other ninjas around here."

"Pah-ha..." Stinky said encouragingly. Shady slithered forward and nosed Adam affectionately.

With his Pokemon's support, that toothy grin came right back. "But until then, I know Shady and Stinky will always be by my side!"

Only during the Contest of Friendship would this boy and his Pokemon be considered entrants, the hostess thought. She bit back on a snide comment and went on with the accepted format. "That's wonderful. They certainly know how to cheer you up."

"Always. I love 'em."

"Yes... thank you, Mr. Adam and your loyal Shady and Stinky."

After enduring another twenty minutes of this, the judges handed her the winner's envelope. She expected the starlet with the Swellow and Clefairy to win. But as she made the dramatic opening, what she saw on the paper surprised her.

'The winner of the Novice Contest of Friendship is... Adam Richards and his Pokemon, the Arbok Shady and the Weezing Stinky. Their authentic friendship shines through their rustic demeanor like diamonds waiting to be polished.'

…

Arbok Fire Red entry: The pattern on its belly appears to be a frightening face. Weak foes will flee just at the sight of the pattern.

Emerald entry: By diluting its toxic gases with a special process, the highest grade of perfume can be extracted. To Weezing, gases emanating from garbage are the ultimate feast.

Have you ever known a kid like that? I certainly have.