Author's Note:
YEEEEEAAAAHHHH! Take that you piece of shit chapter! I finished you! You couldn't beat me for long motherfucker
I had a very difficult time writing this one; if you guys have any ideas on what you want to see Cas do in the city let me know please
The car was unsurprisingly cramped with Cas' wings. Sam and Dean took up the front seat, being the two biggest people in the vehicle and all, while Charlie hung out in the back with Castiel. She sat close to the window while Cas had shifted with his back almost entirely facing her. He was enraptured by the view, sure he'd gone flying more than once but it was still amazing to be inside of a car and going at those speeds.
Dean was glad. He loved how Cas appreciated the car, the drive, the view, the sounds, whatever. He just loved listening to how excited his boyfriend was.
Car rides were a different thing that Dean hadn't really planned for. He was glad that Sam had the foresight to put Cas in the back; every now and then he heard Charlie's muffled protests against Cas' sudden winged energy bursts. He probably would've gotten them killed if it were him getting hit while he drove.
Cas had made little chirping noises like he'd done in the past and it still made Dean smile. He couldn't help it; it reminded him of how he met Cas and how affectionate Cas had become over such a short period of time. Not that he liked all the things that led to that point, but he couldn't deny how glad he was that it happened at all.
He wondered for a moment if Cas might be embarrassed by those noises, or if he'd feel weird about the whole thing at all. He didn't want to ask though, just in case Cas started to think that maybe he should be and completely destroy what Dean meant to convey. He didn't want Cas to feel bad about anything that had happened to him, or about what he became after all was said and done. He could feel that kind of crisis coming, Cas had already shouted 'I'm not Castiel' once and Dean knew that the rest of that meltdown was coming eventually.
The landscape flew by, Cas enjoyed seeing rural areas but as the buildings grew in size and more people were on the sidewalks he became speechless. Dean glanced at the rearview mirror for a second, Cas' eyes were still wide, his mouth slightly open and that was it. Cas was watching with such intensity and awe that Dean couldn't imagine waiting any longer to bring him to the public. Why had they taken this long already in the first place? Part of it was because Jet hadn't made a harness set up yet, a bigger part was probably because Cas wasn't ready for that sort of thing.
With the amount of progress that Castiel had made Dean found himself forgetting where it all started. Cas could speak now, it was getting better but he was still far slower than anyone else. It was obvious he still had an impediment; Dean wondered how they'd explain that to anyone if they asked. He was pretty sure no one would ask but he couldn't count on people not being rude on purpose or by accident.
Cas had been quiet for several blocks. "You doing okay, Cas?" Dean asked with a smile and peeked up again when he had an opportunity.
"There are so many people," Cas whispered, it was like he couldn't quite get his voice to be any louder, like he'd startle the people if he did. Maybe he was worried about alerting them to his presence? Dean wasn't really sure. "Are they all nice?"
"Some are, some aren't." Sam answered as he turned around to look at the two in the back, "but don't worry so much about that, we're here so you'll be fine."
Cas nodded though he didn't seem entirely convinced, Dean suspected saying it over and over again wouldn't help, Cas needed to see it. "What were my favourite places?" He asked Charlie with so much excitement in his voice that it was hard not to feel it too.
She smiled and looked out the window at their hometown, "Well, you had favourite coffee places, you loved shopping at the mall –any mall, it didn't matter- and you loved hanging out at one of our places."
"What do we do first?" Sam furrowed his brow and glanced at Dean as if the older Winchester would have some kind plan.
"I don't know," Dean shrugged and kept his eyes on the road to avoid Sam's gaze among other things. "I didn't plan this out, it was kinda Jet's thing."
"Well we don't need to stay out all day," Charlie was more in control now than Dean had seen her thus far. She looked like she might actually have a good time. "Let's go to a few places Cas might recognize and go from there, sound good?"
"Lead the way," Dean called out, he had no idea what Cas' favourite places might be so Charlie was navigator by default.
"Should we start small?" Sam was nervous; Dean knew that a thousand things must've been going through Sam's head because they went through his own too. There wasn't a lot to do about it until they ran into those scenarios though, so he tried not to think about it. Maybe Sam would figure that out too.
"What would be small, exactly?" Dean glanced at him, "Nowhere is small in this case, so let's just pick a spot and run with it. Maybe we can get some food or something."
"I could eat," Charlie added and pointed ahead, "Take that next right, I know a great spot."
Dean followed everything Charlie demanded and they wound up on a side-street, parallel parked with other cars just barely out of everyone else's way. There were small stores as well as residential housing all around, definitely a place locals would know better than anyone else. "What do they serve?" Sam asked as he leaned to get a better view of the little corner-store restaurant set up across the street.
"It's a mom and pop kinda place," Charlie climbed out of the car first, setting the example for the rest. "They got all kinds though Cas' favourite was their dessert crepe selection."
Castiel clambered out, his wings stretched and he took a deep breath, like air was different there or something. "It smells weird." He said immediately and Dean tried not to laugh.
"Cities smell different, but we're not that far away from the mansion."
"Still smells weird."
"I'll take your word for it," Dean put his arm around Cas' waist and led him toward the building after Charlie. Sam was on his other side but didn't make any sort of reaction to it, probably because Dean and Cas were practically glued at the hip most of the time anyway. Dean tried not to imagine all the different ways Sam would look at him disapprovingly.
Dean noticed right away that the street was mostly empty, there were a few people blocks away but they hadn't turned around. No one had noticed Castiel just yet. Dean had no idea how it would go when someone did but he kept his fingers crossed it'd go well. Part of him wished Jet really had come along because he was their spokesperson and was swifter to a lie than either Dean or Sam. Charlie was a mystery in that regard, though Dean did recall Jet saying she was a liar Charlie walked in the front door and greeted an older couple with a pleasant "Good afternoon Mr. and Mrs. Milton!" Dean started to realize why going to Cas' favourite spots would be a bad idea. He did notice that there was a lull in the restaurant, it was small and at that time no one was inside but the owners. Dean breathed a small sigh of relief, just two people to explain anything to.
"Is that Charlie Bradbury?" The woman asked with bright eyes, "I haven't seen you in ages, how have you been child?"
"Lately I've been pretty good," she moved to hug them, "How's Anna? Still hitting it off in Hollywood?"
"She's got a guest star position on some show," Mr. Milton waved it off, "I don't watch it, too flashy."
"I do and she's amazing," Mrs. Milton jumped right back in to cover for her scrooge of a husband. "What can I get you dear-" her words were lost when she spotted the blue-eyed boy with wings on his back. "Castiel Novak?"
Dean recognized her expression from Charlie's face, Garth's, and of course Michael's. It was like they were seeing a ghost or some sort of figment of their imagination, regardless they never believed 100% that Castiel really stood in front of them. Not to mention he had strange appendages. Dean watched them look at the wings but decide to themselves that Castiel's mere presence was more than enough to question at that moment.
"Uh," Cas waved a little, somewhat shy as he stepped subtly behind Dean, "Hi."
"Yeah, that's Cas," Charlie smiled at them though Dean could see a twinge of pain in her face. It wasn't easy to get past the things that happened, not to mention she didn't exactly give her research much of a break most of the time.
"Where were you?" the couples' question made Cas anxious, Dean felt his angel's grip on his arm as more time passed without an answer.
"It's a long story," Charlie started in before Cas could freak out. "A lot happened, we'd actually appreciate it if you don't ask him too many questions." She was straightforward but gentle and it seemed to work, the Miltons were concerned but they agreed to keep their noses out of it.
"You'll have to tell me someday," Mrs. Milton told Charlie who nodded.
"Of course, maybe Cas will when he's ready." She looked up at the menu next and nodded like she'd seen it a thousand times, Dean was willing to bet that she had. "Cas and I will have our usual."
"What's my usual?" Cas asked with a tilt of his head that was cute enough Dean wanted to smother him with kisses right there.
"The 'Fruitella,'" she explained as she handed over the cash for the two of them before Dean could even argue. "It's a crepe with Nutella and strawberries or bananas, in your case usually bananas."
"Sounds good?" Cas said as more of a question as he glanced at Dean helplessly.
"Yeah," Dean laughed a little, "it'll be good, don't worry." He couldn't help but smile when Cas did and made no move to stop Cas' incoming kiss. It was short; Cas had full control over it and was far more social friendly than a lick on the mouth. Sam showed no signs of any reaction other than a slight shift upward in his brow. Though, to be fair that change was probably more a response to Dean looking his way to check his reaction.
After the two Winchesters ordered and paid Charlie insisted they sit down while she and Cas catch up with the Miltons. Dean gauged Cas' comfort level, his boyfriend didn't seem to be upset by it so he agreed and went to sit.
"So far so good," Sam said as he dropped into a chair that looked a little small for him. In fact the entire place seemed to be made for more average sized folks, even Dean felt a little big for it.
"Yeah," he was watching the two at the counter, the owners looked at Cas' wings and asked about it. Dean overheard what they were saying, it wasn't a very big shop.
"So... what's with the angel get-up?" Mr. Milton asked despite his wife trying to tell him to leave it be with not-so-subtle gestures.
"Oh," Charlie looked back at the harness, casual like Jet would've been which made Dean feel a little better about the whole scenario. "Well it's kind of an experiment, Sam and Dean over there are college students that Cas is helping out."
"And the wings are-"
"Animatronic, Sam's an engineering genius," Charlie grinned and looked at Cas' back, "They're pretty cool, right?"
"They're very heavy," Cas added, starting to feel a little better about standing there though still clearly uncomfortable. From what Dean could tell they Miltons bought it and didn't push questions any further, just commented on how cool college seemed to be getting for young folks, as well as 'no wonder tuition is so high, those things look pretty real.'
"Yeah so far it's alright." Dean continued and turned back to Sam, "How're you doing?"
"Decent," Sam sighed and slumped back in his chair, "I'm just a little tired, that's all."
"Doing all your school work from home now, huh?" Dean raised an eyebrow and Sam nodded.
"Yeah, Bobby helped me set it up. My teachers wear audio recording gear and they email me that along with general notes taken. Oh, and the assignments of course."
Dean nodded, "Well you're almost done, I'm glad Bobby could swing that for you."
"He is my legal guardian," Sam smiled, "and a pretty good liar when he wants to be."
"Bobby rocks, we should give him a present or something some time."
"Wonder how long he's staying," Sam's brow creased, "I mean, he hasn't mentioned leaving but I don't know if he wants to move in."
"Yeah…" Dean didn't want to think about it, so mostly he hadn't been. "I guess we haven't been giving him a lot of attention either."
"He's not a pet, Bobby can get attention when he wants it."
"Shut up, that's not what I meant."
Charlie placed their two crepes in front of them, "Enjoy," she seemed to be in her element, like things were going right for once. Dean didn't want to take that away from her, and though he missed Jet's ridiculous presence he was glad that they switched. Charlie needed this as much as Cas did.
They all dug into their treats and Dean didn't even have enough time to count down from ten before Cas' face was covered in Nutella. "You and chocolate," he snickered and tried to wipe it away with a napkin.
"It's awesome," Cas didn't care about Dean's doting so much, he was so enthralled with the amazingness on his taste buds. "I love it,"
Dean tried not to laugh as Cas attempted to stuff it into his mouth while being cleaned, he was clearly aware of his surroundings as he stared at Dean adamantly. "Alright, I'll just do it when you're finished." Dean relented and backed off before he got a growled warning.
"Did you guys come here a lot?" Sam asked Charlie as he picked as his food.
"We did, went to school with their daughter too. Anna was a great actor, awesome at improv stuff." She was looking at her water as if in a daydream, a sweet smile on her lips as she recalled the times she'd spent there. "Cas loved her humour, and this place was one of his favourite spots to stop on his way home. If he had spare change he'd be in here eating crepes and talking for hours."
Cas had slowed his pace and stopped completely, his eyes were on Charlie but Dean didn't see any recognition in them, just misery. He still couldn't remember and it tore him apart.
"It's okay," Dean whispered to him and this time Cas shook his head.
"It isn't," he clenched his fists and lowered his head, "I don't know any of the things that Charlie remembers, or what Michael knows. I don't know the memories that should make me Castiel." He looked up and wiped his mouth, an attempt at appearing serious though his eyes did the job for him. He was looking at Charlie who was as concerned as Dean or Sam, her gaze held Cas' for a moment until he spoke again, "For them… I might as well be dead."
"That isn't true!" Charlie shouted and slammed her hands down on the table startling everyone present. She wasn't crying but her cheeks were red and her expression pulled tight in anger, "I don't care how you've changed, I don't care if you never remember anything about this town or past shit. You're still Castiel to me, you're still my best friend."
Cas was shaking as he stared at her, he was speechless as her expression softened and she took his hand in hers.
"If you never remember the old stuff then so be it, the past is the past. What matters to me now is making new memories with you, Cas."
He took a shaky breath; Dean placed a supportive hand on his shoulder to help steady him. "Are you sure?" he asked softly and Charlie choked on a sad laugh.
"Of course," she squeezed tight, "You are so important, Cas. I'm never letting you go again, I swear."
Cas nodded as tears fell down his face and an attempt at stifling a sob failed, he wiped his eyes though it didn't help and he looked up at her with the most hopeful look. "Can I have a hug?"
Charlie moved around the table to his side as Dean made room for her and grabbed hold of Castiel.
The Miltons didn't ask questions for the rest of their stay in the restaurant but they looked on with concern and curiosity burning. Dean moved to the corner of the small table to let Charlie sit next to Cas while also being next to Cas. He held his boyfriend's hand when he could; making sure Cas knew he was there without another word spoken. Sam smiled and reassured Cas with the simplest expressions, Dean was a bit jealous of his brother's talent for that.
Though the rest of their meal was quiet Dean could feel tension lifting away, he could tell that Cas was feeling better by the second. He hated to admit it to himself but he had to acknowledge that sometimes Cas' problems weren't always solvable just between the two of them. Sometimes he'd have to let another person step in, Dean couldn't be Cas' only savior and/or hero.
The more he thought about it, though, the more he liked it. Cas had a strong team of defenders, which meant that if Dean wasn't immediately available there were several others who could assist. That didn't make him any less important, he'd tell himself as a reminder. Being needed was good but stifling Cas until he was the only person Cas could rely on was a little messed up.