Introspective

Eight men, eight relatively young men were dead. There wasn't an apparent thread to connect them, at least on the surface. Two of them lived in Seattle and one each in Flagstaff, Atlanta, New York, San Francisco, and St. Louis. They were single, married, or openly gay. Incomes ranged from middle class to the top two percent. There were no business, social, of familial connections and because 75% of the dead men lived outside of Seattle, the various jurisdictions had no reason to work together. Even the deaths were dissimilar enough that no one thought to connect the dots; car accident, an accidental drowning, a slip in the shower, and a fall.

Christian knew differently. They had all lived in Seattle as children, associated with Coping Together, and most importantly had been students of Elena fucking Lincoln. All that he knew of the last fifteen years of his life was a lie. The bitch convinced him he was special; it was them, just the two of them against the fucking world. Now he questioned everything he'd been taught.

He made a mental list; his parents didn't love him, he was an obligation to them, people like him and Elena weren't capable of love, people especially women would only want his money, she made him the man he is today, without her he would end up like his crack whore mother, all women were whores, he had a darkness that could only be exorcised thru BDSM, BDSM taught him focus and control, she was the only person that could ever understand him, she was his best and only friend.

He believed her. At fifteen, he began to look at his parents and siblings differently. Did conversations stop when he walked in the room, was that pity or regret in his mothers' eyes, did dad spend more time with Elliot? He could never let a girl touch him and he was a hormonal adolescent, he had needs. Elena let him touch her and she could teach him control so he could stop drinking and fighting.

Now that he knew he was one of many, that he wasn't special, that she had lied, he began questioning everything. Dad and Elliot did spend more time together because he chose to close himself off. His mothers eyes may have conveyed hurt rather than pity and maybe, just maybe he could have found a girl. He was fifteen for Christ's sake. Aren't all kids hormonal and awkward and moody at that age? He couldn't breathe.

Flash back

Christian and Elena were having their bimonthly lunch to catch up and review the PNL statements for Esclava. He was unusually animated having just returned from his weekend getaway with Anastasia. The memory brought a smile to his lips.

"What is going on with you Christian? Did you just close a huge deal? What has you all smiley?" Elena inquired.

Christian sat back as he considered how much he should tell his friend. He was certain she would be happy for him because she'd always respected and approved his decisions. Finally he spoke, "Elena, I think 'I've found someone. We've only been seeing each other for a short while, but she is….. different". There, he'd said it, but now he held his breath waiting for his mentor and confidant to respond.

Now it was Elena's turn to sit back. She had to tread carefully but there was No Way, absolutely, No fucking Way she was going to allow this happen. "I'm not sure what you mean Christian, is she a submissive"? When she noticed the uncertain shake of his head, she plowed on. "Christian, how do you even know this woman? How do you know she isn't after you for the money and prestige? Does she have a career, money; can she satisfy you dark urges? Of course she would be attracted to you but most women are. Have you bought her expensive gifts, taken her places? What woman wouldn't respond to your wealth and generosity? Christian, we, 'waving her hand between the two of them', are different. We don't do love.

Now a virgin submissive….. That is quite a gift. Imagine training her to your tastes. Go on and have your little fling but be careful. You don't want your mother to get wind of this. She'll have you married before the year is over and you know it will never last." When she saw the doubt flash across his face, it was time to stop. She didn't want to push him too far. She leaned back, sipped her wine and observed the emotions blow across his beautiful face before it settled once again on impassive.

Gone was the jovial, almost giddy mood that enveloped him when he arrived. Of course Anastasia only wanted what he could give her. She was like the rest of them. Well, so be it. It was time to treat her like the rest or she could go.

A few days later

Anastasia, to my study in five minutes" Christian bellowed in to his cell phone then pitched it across the room. "Taylor, Sawyer I call you when I need you. Please look into this matter. Someone compromising security at GEH is unacceptable. How could this happen. I want a preliminary report within the hour." The two men nodded as they left, passing the beautiful, petite brunette waiting head bowed at the boss's door.

Christian was furious, face beet red, vein throbbing in his neck, fists clenching and unclenching as he stood ram straight behind his mahogany desk. Someone had invaded his personal space in his building, in the company he had built from scratch. His security team consisted of former FBI, CIA, SPECIAL OPS, and Texas Rangers; the best of the best. Yet someone had evaded CCTV, laser beam detectors and other invisible all seeing eyes to not only enter the building but his office. Heads would roll but until then he needed a distraction and a stress reliever. Thank heavens his favorite pet was already in her room and awaiting instruction. He was hoping she would break one of the many rules of the contract, if not, well he was creative.

He opened the door and ordered her to drop to position. Stand Anastasia. The girl stood on trembling legs, her feet teetering unsteadily on 5 inch heels. Her Dom was angry and this would not bode well for her this weekend. Her only thoughts were to please him. If she could help him feel better perhaps he would see that she was special that she could have a permanent place in his life. She loved him and wanted to prove it to him but she was afraid.

Their weekends were spent mostly exploring her sexual pleasure, but it was the control that made him lightheaded. At this moment he needed to regain some of that control. He was angry that his company and his personal space had been violated but the sight of Miss Steele drove him over the edge. This is the only woman that he had considered having more with and she'd played him. Thank goodness, his only friend had opened his eyes.

"Strip Anastasia", he growled. She made quick work of sliding the robe of her shoulders and removing her bra. In two steps he was in front of her and roughly tore the thong from her body. She quivered at the unexpected move. Spread your legs Miss Steele, I want to see how wet you are. He jammed to fingers into her core disappointed to find her dry. This only added to his truth, that she didn't love him. "What's this, aren't you happy to see me? On your knees and suck me but don't make me come. This is not for your pleasure. Hands behind your back", Christian demanded. He grabbed her head and forced himself to the back of her throat. He was unable to keep himself from coming as her warm velvet tongue struggled to keep up with the vicious thrusts. My God, she made him forget about everything. She always did but it was just her act. He came spectacularly, shooting warm salty sperm down her throat, holding her head in place forcing her to swallow.

He hadn't wanted to come so quickly only proving to himself that his precious control was transitory. His anger increased that she still had this kind of power over him. He dragged the submissive to her feet and forced her face down on his desk. Holding her down by her neck, he reached for his acrylic ruler. "Miss Steele, I am disappointed. You made me come after I instructed you not to. Do you enjoy defying me? Do you think you should be punished?"

Ana wanted to be a good submissive for him, so she quietly responded "yes sir". With force, the ruler swooshed thru the air and landed on one firm round cheek. Christian took time to appreciate the marks left on the pale smooth surface before he began again in earnest, determined to teach his pet a memorable lesson. "Count for me Anastasia". 5, 6, 7,8. .She was screaming in agony when she reached 8. When he finished, the girl was covered in sweat, her ass was a bright red, and was crying uncontrollably. He grabbed one leg, spreading her further a part and thrust into her. Her body was still unprepared, which further angered him, and he pumped into her with the power of a freight train. "Do not come" he said through clenched teeth while pinching and twisting her nipples. Coming wasn't even a possibility. She just wanted this over. At this moment she was simply a vessel for his anger. She could feel him, building but just before he came he pulled out forcing her to her knees once again. He all but pried her jaws open as he finished off in her mouth.

"We are going to have to work on your pain tolerance this weekend Miss Steele. I am disappointed to see tears from a simple ruler. Would you like that?" Yes master. Please teach your pet to please you," she whimpered. "Very well Miss Steele. Now take a shower and some Advil. The arnica cream is in your ensuite. You may be quite sore. I'll take dinner at 6. That will give us plenty of time to work on your training."

Present Day

Remembering that day caused his chest to ache. He knew she was afraid and that angered him further. Anastasia was so responsive and willing and loving. During the early days of their relationship, they enjoyed what they called kinky fuckery; a combination of what they both liked. Now, he realized she had given her all to him and he was trying to be her more. He was happy. Damn Elena!

That day, he had been cruel; allowing his anger to get the better of him. She had been afraid of him and that angered him further. He'd trusted his oldest and dearest friend. It was the first time he almost ended their contract. The other time, the last time they were together, he'd taken a cane to her and left her on the play room floor. Earlier in the day he'd spotted her in a café with Jose fucking Rodriguez. There wasn't any intimacy in the interaction, but she looked so young, and beautiful and carefree. He wanted her to feel that way with him. Why couldn't he be normal? Why couldn't he have that? So he punished her instead and dismissed her for the weekend.