'B.' Liz felt something poking at her temple. She swatted at it and turned over in her bed.

The poking persisted. 'B, wake up.'

She groaned and swatted again, not opening her eyes. "Honestly, Yema, let me sleep for once."

The poking paused and then restarted with vigor. 'Is there another cat in your life that you aren't telling me about?' A hard poke. 'You can be late to school now. See if I care.'

Liz jerked up, accidentally knocking Oni off the bed. "School?"

Oni glared up at her indignantly from where he was now sitting on the floor. 'Duh.'

She jumped out of bed and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. "Wha' t'me 's it? Oni?"

'It's 7:12. You're already late.'

Liz glared at him, spitting out her toothpaste in the sink. "And you didn't wake me up earlier because?"

'I was sleeping. You know cats.' He stretched out on the carpet, licking languidly at his paw. 'You should brush your hair. You look like death.'

"Why, you little-"

A knock at the door.

Liz froze and looked at Oni.

Oni looked back.

Another knock.

Liz inched tentatively toward the door. "Who is it?"

"Liz-sama? It's Haruhi."

Liz walked over to the door and opened it, slightly confused. "Yeah? Hi, sorry, I was just getting ready. You wanna come in?"

Haruhi shook her head. She was in her Ouran uniform, which actually made her look kind of like a boy. Granted, a pretty, feminine boy, but still.

Actually, no it didn't.

How does anyone buy this?

'Anime logic.'

Right.

Haruhi bowed. "I was wondering if you wanted to walk to school together, since it's your first day. It wouldn't do to be late."

Wouldn't do to be...

Liz smiled and nodded. "That'd be wonderful, Haruhi, thank you. Let me just get changed first."

Haruhi nodded, turning slightly toward her apartment. "In the meantime, I'll be right back. I think I took my dad's bento."

Liz nodded again, still smiling. "Okay. See you in a bit."

She watched Haruhi walk away and closed the door. She took a deep breath. "ONI!"

'Aw, fuck.'

A white blur shot past her toward the bathroom. Liz smirked. "You can run, dearest, but you can't hide."

'Try me!'

Liz walked into the bathroom.

And was promptly attacked. "GAH!"

Oni jumped from where he'd thrown himself onto her head and ran off into another part of the apartment. 'If you try to get me, you'll be late for school!'

Liz closed the door and began changing. You said I was already late, Oni. What difference does a few minutes make?

'That depends on how many minutes.'

She tucked her shirt into her skirt and twirled in front of the mirror, grimacing at her messy hair. Oh, I don't know... The amount of minutes it takes to skin a fairly small, smart-mouthed cat.

'Eep.'

Haruhi knocked on the door. "Are you ready, Liz-sama?"

Shit. "Yeah, give me a minute!"

She ran out of the bathroom, throwing on the rest of her uniform (which included a pair of knee high socks. She decided to just not change out of the ones she wore to bed.) and grabbing an apple on the way to the door.

She opened it and almost closed it again.

The entire host club was suddenly there, with an annoyed looking Haruhi.

Liz ran a hand through her hair, got it stuck midway through, and rolled her eyes as she disentangled it. "Haruhi?"

Haruhi pushed off Tamaki, who was rubbing his face in her hair. "Liz-sama, this is the Host Club. The tall one is Mori-senpai, the small one next to him is Honey-senpai, the twins are Hikaru and Kaoru, the idiot blond is my senpai-"

"Tamaki Souh, at your service. How does a princess such as yourself know our dear, homely Haruhi with such familiarity?"

Said idiot was suddenly in front of Liz, very much in her personal space. She leaned away, pulling her hand from where he was holding it very close to his mouth.

She cleared her throat. "Um, I'm Liz. Please back up a bit."

He kind of disintegrated. She blinked. That's disturbing.

Liz stepped over the pile of Tamaki and turned to lock the door.

When she turned back, two identical faces were unnervingly close to her own. She blinked. "Well, hello."

The one on the right poked her cheek. Hikaru? "You're new-"

The one on the left poked her other cheek. Kaoru. "-And foreign-"

Hikaru circled around her. "-Yet you know-"

Kaoru met his brother behind her. "-Our Haruhi-"

They came back in front of her. "-So familiarly."

They leaned even closer. "How?"

Liz leaned around them and tried to get Haruhi to help her. She shrugged apologetically.

She glared. The twins eyes widened as she turned back toward them. They were expecting me to be intimidated? She almost snorted. "Back away if you want to keep your faces pretty."

"I'm afraid hurting their faces would be detrimental to both you and our club. I'd refrain from making such threats in the future."

Liz raised her eyebrow at Kyoya, who was holding his notebook to his chest. Oh god, it's the scary one. "And... You are?" She bit into her apple and grimaced, suddenly remembering how much she hated apples.

He pushed up his glasses. "Ootori Kyoya, of the Ootori hospitals. And you are?"

Liz swallowed her bite and snorted. "Unimpressed." She threw her bitten apple without looking and heard a crash. Her eyes widened and she grabbed Haruhi's hand. "Haruhi, let's start walking before we're even later or someone gets arrested."

As she started walking, dragging Haruhi with her, Honey pulled on her skirt. She looked down at him and couldn't fight a smile. He's so cute! "Yes, Honey?"

He blinked his big eyes. "Liz-chan, you and Haru-chan will be late anyway if you walk!"

She almost melted. No, Liz. Get a grip on yourself. Concentrate on not getting arrested. "I appreciate the concern, Honey, but I don't exactly have another option."

Tamaki jumped in front of her, posing heroically. Here we go. "Worry not, fair maiden! We shall escort you to school!"

Liz blinked. "Um." He grinned and she grimaced. "I'm sorry, but I must decline on the grounds that I have literally just met you and that you could all quite possibly be ra..." There's a child person here don't say that. "... Murderers."

Honey pulled on her skirt again. "We're not rapists, Liz-chan! Promise!"

Who taught this child what a rapist was?

'He's older than you are, B.'

But still!

'You're a goner.'

Shut up.

Honey held up his pinky. How can anyone say no to that?

Liz sighed in defeat and linked pinkies with him. "Haruhi?"

Haruhi shrugged from her spot in Tamaki's arms. "They're going to take us whether we want them to or not. I've decided not to fight it."

Liz blinked and muttered. "I don't think you realize how sexual that sounded."

Honey dragged her to the limo the host club had ridden there. Of course. She turned toward them as she let Honey drag her. "Come on, everyone! We're going to be late if you don't stop standing creepily in front of my apartment!" Bye, Oni.

'Have fun at school, B.'

She turned to see Kyoya writing in his notebook next to a suspiciously Apple-sized whole in the front window of the limo. Shit.