Author's Note:
So I had to do this chapter this way, hope you all like it :3
He could barely remember what happened, it was so dark and fuzzy. Desirae was there - he couldn't carry her anymore. He couldn't run anymore either; his legs had given up on him. Jet found himself lying on the ground, staring at the dark walls ahead of him and listening to the dull sound of footsteps. It was a mess of noise, nothing blended right and it all just piled on top of the next sound until he couldn't make anything out.
How long had he been lying there? Was he dead? He could remember a little, the distant echo of a little girl shouting at him.
"Please, please, please get up!"
Jet tried to move but he couldn't, it was over, he was done. Why didn't she just go? He wished he could yell one more time and demand that she run, no matter how cliché that sounded.
"Goddamn it, dad! Just get up!"
Jet flinched. Dad? Had she called him that or was he hallucinating? She wasn't running away, had she stayed with him? Was she dead too? Did she get away?
He could hear the sound of a rhythmic sort of beeping noise; it was still sharp in his ears despite how much his senses were already dulled. There was mumbling around him and he could tell that there was a bright light just past his eyelisds.
He knew where he was; a hospital. He made it to a hospital. If he made it then what happened to Desirae? It burned him and he knew he couldn't just lie there. He wasn't fully awake yet but he had to know where she was, he had to know if she was okay.
Just as the thought reached the edge of panic he saw a pair of blue eyes and curly dark hair peeking down at him. Those eyes widened and tears slipped out, a soft gasp broke the monotony of the machines beeping.
"He's awake!" Desirae chimed with terrified relief; Jet couldn't believe he was hearing her voice again.
"Rae?" he asked tiredly, surprised at the lack of energy in his voice but the way it cracked was a little more telling. Tears burned his eyes as he tried to focus on her face, "Are you okay?"
She was looking at him with an expression that made his chest ache; he couldn't quite get his head around it. She looked fine, her stressed smile was his fault but otherwise she was healthy and uninjured. He wanted to reach up to touch her face – but as he moved his arm he had to stop entirely. He'd tried to reach with his left hand.
Jet coughed out a laugh, unsure of what to say at all or what he was even feeling at that moment. Desirae didn't seem to notice though; she took his right hand and held onto it tightly, as she nodded her head. "I'm fine," she was trying hard not to cry.
"Did you save me?" he asked, a little astonished and a lot confused. She nodded more, unable to speak but someone else spoke up for her.
"She did," Sam walked over to him and cupped his cheek gently, "How're you feeling?"
"Dazed and confused," Jet offered a smile though he could feel how sluggish it was. He was drugged up a little, probably painkillers. But he could bitch about his arm later, right at that moment all he could do was look at Sam. He couldn't understand or explain how happy he was to be able to see Sam again, it was something he wanted as he thought he was dying and now he had it. Sam was right there.
Sam's thumb brushed over his cheek, Jet knew he was crying now but he didn't care. Overwhelmed was the only way he could describe himself. "It's okay," Sam whispered to him, Jet felt his jaw trembling now that something as firm as Sam's hand was holding it. "You're safe, we're all here."
Jet took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes again; he just leaned into Sam's touch and tried to calm himself down. Everyone was there, he made it out alive. "I thought I was dead," he muttered, a statement that received a firm kiss from his boyfriend. Jet didn't fight it, he found himself needing it and hoping it wouldn't end. That maybe he'd open his eyes again and they'd be in Sam's bed, the rest of the events having been a bad dream.
"I was scared you were too," Sam admitted after pulling away, Jet couldn't quite get the strength to follow otherwise their kiss wouldn't have ended then. "How are you really feeling?"
Jet started to respond but stopped himself; there wasn't really a good answer or lie that he could just go with as a joke. Sam wanted a real response, but Jet didn't know how to give one. He shrugged and tried to smile, "Can't complain, I guess."
Sam frowned and Jet knew it wasn't the right answer, how could it be when Sam was asking so earnestly for the truth? However, instead of being angry with him Sam sighed and kissed his forehead like there was some kind of foregone conclusion Jet didn't know about. He had some guesses but that was about it.
"What about you?" He asked next, "What happened?"
"Not much," Sam raised his hand to Desirae to stop her from answering before she could give Jet any real details. "Dean's in emergency care and Cas has stitches, that's about it."
Jet's eyes widened, he didn't comprehend everything that was going on but he heard that loud and clear. "What? What happened?"
Sam shrugged, "Stuff."
"Sam, seriously, what happened?"
Sam's frown deepened and a crease crossed his forehead, "You first,"
Jet groaned and would've covered his face with his hand if Desirae weren't hanging onto it. Instead he closed his eyes and tried not to clench his jaw, "Sam, please," he could hear his voice shaking, his chest was tight and felt like it weighed a ton.
"Sorry," Sam was immediately apologetic; he even sounded ashamed of himself. "I know you don't need the hassle right now. I'm just… I want to help you. After you were rushed to the hospital I needed to do something, I went into the basement with the others-"
"Are you insane?" Jet cut him off; he could see that Sam was right in front of him but just the idea of his partner going down to face those things terrified him. "Did you not see what they did to me? You could've been killed!"
"I know," Sam looked at Desirae who was still refusing to let go of Jet's hand, "Desirae, you think you could go talk to Bobby and see if they have news about Dean?"
She shook her head, "I'm staying here with him,"
"Please?" Jet turned to her too, a pleading look on his face to try and help it along. "I'd go but I can't get up."
"Oh," she got a little frantic for a second as she tried to decide what the right thing to do was, "Well, if you want me to?"
"I would really appreciate it," he smiled and squeezed her hands gently, "I'm not going anywhere, you can hold my hand when you get back."
"Okay," she leaned up and kissed his cheek, "You better not be lying, dad or you'll really get it." She said quickly before leaving the room, pointing back at him for emphasis. Jet blinked a few times in his disbelief and looked up at Sam again.
"Did she just…?"
"Yeah," Sam moved to the other side of the bed and sat down where he could take Jet's hand in his. There was a quiet moment where neither said anything and Sam just looked at him.
Jet didn't know what to say but he knew he had to say something. He could see Sam's eyes trail over him, staring at his hand, staring at where there should've been a second one. "Are you mad at me?" It was the first thing that came to mind and it baffled Sam, confused eyes staring even harder at him.
"Why the hell would I be mad?" Sam asked incredulously, a soft laugh in his throat.
"I dunno," Jet heard his voice crack again, the weight on his chest getting worse. "I don't know, I feel like I messed up." His eyes were watering again and he tried blinking it away, clearing his throat as if that'd help. "I was gonna die and I didn't say anything to you. I went into the basement without anyone else or telling anyone where I was going."
"You told Bobby," Sam corrected him gently, "And I'm not mad at you."
"But I didn't answer the way I was supposed to," Jet felt a break in his façade, he couldn't stop it from happening so he just let it go. Whatever ended up coming out of him was something he'd just have to deal with as it happened. "I upset you again after already worrying you, I want to tell you how I'm feeling but I don't know what to say." Tears fell and he knew he was a mess, Sam was listening and watching quietly but that didn't take away any of Jet's anxieties. "I don't want Desirae to see me like this, and I don't want you to have to deal with all my shit. So I didn't say anything and that was wrong too, you're already dealing with whatever happened to Dean and I can't give you what you need."
"Jet," Sam tried to interject and for once Jet actually stopped and listened. It was a bit of a surprise to both of them. "Getting bitchy with you over not telling me how you feel was all me. I was unfair to try and force you to talk; god knows what you're dealing with right now. And what I need is you, just you." He held tighter and lowered his head, they were both silent for another few seconds. "I was so mad that I couldn't help you and Desirae, so when Cas said we had to clear out the basement before anything got worse I jumped at the chance. I had to do something, anything. Dean, Cas and Charlie were all with me, we had weapons and went after the clones together."
Jet sniffled and tried to wipe his eyes but remembered again that he didn't have a left arm to do that with. Instead of telling Sam he'd done it twice he just let the tears dry on his face. "You just need me?" He asked hesitantly, unsure of what he needed to hear but he was felt like he was on the right track.
"Just you," Sam smiled sadly, "I'm sorry I did that to you right after you woke up, I wasn't thinking."
"Your brother's in the hospital, I can imagine why." Jet smirked and for the first time since waking it felt genuine. Sam saw it too and even laughed a little. "So… mind telling me what happened?"
Sam nodded, "When I got your text in town I told Cas as soon as I read it, he flew back ahead of us and saved you guys. I got back to the house and Bobby and Garth were carrying you out the door."
"Must've scared you," Jet gave Sam's hand a reassuring squeeze, "Sorry about that."
"You saved Desirae's life," Sam kissed his cheek, "Don't apologize."
Jet smiled and tried to relax in the lumpy hospital bed, "Alright, if you say so. But I get that you guys went down there, why is Dean in emergency?"
"Well one part of the basement had different cells that you couldn't see into, all the clones were behind steel doors so Cas broke open small holes in them so we could shoot the clones without worrying about being jumped. Dean got caught by one and it breathed some kind of toxins in his face. Cas rushed him here."
Jet could tell it was hard for Sam to say, rage had cooled off and all Sam had left was exhaustion. He wanted to save Sam some of the hard explaining, "I'm guessing Cas was hit by a few clones in his frenzy; you and Charlie weren't hit?"
Sam shook his head, an appreciative look on his face, "We're okay, a little shaken up."
Desirae walked back into the room, she noticed Sam was in her spot but something about his disposition kept her quiet. She climbed onto the bed and sat at Jet's feet, "Bobby says they haven't said anything yet."
Jet nodded, "Thanks sweetheart,"
"Jet," Cas entered the room with wide, tired eyes. "You're awake."
"I think so," he chuckled; Cas hurried around to his left side and knelt next to the bed.
"How are you feeling?"
Jet looked at Sam first then back to Cas, "Honestly?"
"Of course," Cas furrowed his brow, "Why would I want you to lie?"
He had a good point. Jet shrugged a little, "I guess I'm alright. I mean, I'm alive so that's good." He tried not to smile when Desirae crawled a little higher on the bed to be closer to him; she was eyeing his face but not saying anything. He knew she could tell he was crying, he didn't blame her for not being able to come up with something to say.
"That's not a feeling," Desirae poked his cheek lightly, "Are you sad?"
"No, I…" he stopped again and thought a little more on it, "Maybe. I'm sad I'm missing an arm but if I was back in that same situation I'd do it again, so I don't know if I should be sad about it."
"You can be sad," her ears tipped down, a look of empathy on her face. "I'm happy you saved me but I'm sad you had to hurt yourself to do it. You can feel more than one thing at a time, dumb-dumb."
Jet couldn't deny that he was feeling more emotional than usual, he wanted to cry and laugh at that moment and maybe that was exactly what she was talking about. "Okay, you're right, you win." He then noticed that she was wearing a long coat, too long for her but it covered her tail, and a hoodie to cover her ears. "Ah… that's a simple disguise."
"We're not all as creative as you are with disguises," Sam scoffed, "I was coming here and I had to take her to see you."
"It works, right?" Desirae looked down at herself, "I'm sorta covered."
"Works just fine, though you'll sweat to death in the summer heat." Jet pulled his hand away from Sam and reached under Rae's hood to rub her head.
"Yeah, it's kinda warm," she admitted though Jet knew she was diminishing the experience.
Jet glanced at Cas' tired face, everyone seemed to have the same expression of exhaustion but Cas' looked the worst. "What about you? How are you feeling?"
"Dean's still in emergency," Cas said solemnly and sighed heavily, "Bobby told me to take a nap but I can't sleep, not until I know Dean's okay."
"Dean's tough, he'll make it through." Jet lifted his leg and nudged Cas with his knee since his right arm couldn't reach without rolling over. It hurt to move too much, the painkillers were wearing off but he didn't want to say anything just yet. "You should sleep, man."
Cas nodded, "I know, but I can't."
"Hey kid," Bobby entered the room with a welcome smile, Jet returned it to the best of his ability.
"Bobby, what's up?"
"Figured I'd bring you something," Bobby walked over and placed a cupcake down on the side table, "Thought you might need it."
Jet sniffled for what felt like the hundredth time, tears once again in his eyes as he stared at the treat. "You serious?" He asked through an emotional grin, "Ah man," he rubbed his eyes again and laughed at himself.
Sam smiled and picked it up, taking off the little paper skirt, "Here you go, babe."