3. Begging

Waiting was the worst. Soon after his conversation with Richard, a doctor finally had come to give him an update on Rory, or rather said, Dr. Russell came to get his permission for surgery to remove the bullet, stop any internal bleeding and repair any damage the bullet may have caused. Logan had shortly talked with Lorelai before giving the consent, but really, there hadn't been any choice to make. The fact was the bullet needed to be removed, the bleeding needed to be stopped and any damage needed to be repaired.

So now he was doomed to wait once again, in a different waiting room. He had spent the first half hour buying some necessary things in the gift shop, changing clothes and getting some coffee from the cafeteria. The next half hour he had spent making more phone calls: Hugo, Honor, Finn and Colin. He called Hugo to get the needed health insurance information for the hospital and to inform him also on his reporter's status. And he made the phone calls to his sister and friends simply because he needed to talk to some of his own people. They had been shocked to hear about Rory, making him promise to keep them informed on her progress. And Finn was on his way from Los Angeles to give Logan some moral support.

He had protested at first, but only weakly. The truth was, with the prospect of the entire Gilmore clan joining him in a few hours, he was glad for some reinforcement for himself. Sure, the short phone calls he had with Lorelai had been civil and solely concentrated on Rory's status and treatment but he had no idea what to expect once they arrived. Would Lorelai let him stay? Would she let him see her, once she was out of surgery and in recovery? Would she keep him up to date? Would she demand that he leave once they were there? He had no idea, but Christopher's private jet was scheduled to land in about four hours so he guessed he would soon find out.

Not that it would make any difference. He wasn't leaving and he'll be damned if he wasn't allowed to see her. With or without Lorelai's consent, he'd stay and see his Ace, once it was time for that.

But first of all, she needed to make it out of surgery. It had already been three hours. What the hell was taking them so long? The surgeon had said it looked promising, stating as well how young and healthy Rory was and how often they had done such procedures, so she was in hands of experienced surgeons. Of course, he had no idea how long it took to do a bullet wound surgery. But it couldn't be that long, could it? He guessed the removal of the bullet, which did not fragment into pieces, would not take that much time so it all depended on how extensive the internal bleeding was or how much damage they needed to repair.

So the longer it took the bigger the damage?

God, he was going crazy here!

"Mate?"

Surprised, Logan stood up. "Finn! You were fast!"

Shrugging, the tall Australian crossed the distance between them. "As I keep telling you, it's only an hour and a half flight from San Francisco to L.A. and there are flights round the clock if you don't want to use the jet. So, no excuse at all to rot away in the desert of Palo Alto." He laid his hand onto his shoulder. "How's Reporter Girl?"

Logan shook his head. "Still in surgery, still no news." His hands flexed with the sheer helplessness he felt and he quickly changed the topic. "And how many times do I have to tell you that Palo Alto is not a desert?"

"Well, it is not as cosmopolitan as L.A. And there are more than just one kind of desert. That place is just depressing. High time you get out of there." Flopping down onto one of the uncomfortable chairs, Finn stared up at Logan with his perceptive eyes filled with worry. "Tell me," he simply said and just like that the dam broke.

Sitting back down, Logan ran his hands through his hair and began a detailed recount of the shooting and the long hours he had been waiting here in the hospital, leaving nothing out. Not his fear that Rory wouldn't make it after all, not his anticipation of how Rory's family was going to react to his presence and not even Richard's advice earlier over the phone.

At that, Finn grinned mischievously. "Listen to that man! He should know best, if you ask me."

"I'm not so sure," Logan sighed, glad for the distraction from the endless waiting.

Exasperated, Finn gestured with his hands. "By the devil, why not? You love her and want her back. Everyone knows that and had always known it. Well, everyone except our love, that is, and that's the problem itself." Logan opened his mouth to protest but Finn was faster. "And before you come with any bullshit about what that girl of yours may feel about you, stop. She loves you and she never wanted to break up with you in the first place, we all know that. You've been just too blind and your pride too hurt to see that. Think about it."

Finn's words may have mirrored many of his own thoughts but that didn't mean he was accepting them just like that. "Damn it, she said no! I asked her to be with me for the rest of our lives and she said no! Somehow I don't see that as her declaration of undying love for me!"

But Finn just snorted. "Please! You should have talked with her again, like we all told you to, and then you might have realized that you didn't ask her that but you gave her an ultimatum. To make a choice between what you were offering her and what she had worked for and dreamed of all her life. And, mate, I love you like a brother, but with all the options, I would have said no, too, if I was in her place."

"That's not true," Logan denied but he felt a tremble going through his very being. "I never wanted her to give up her dream. Never!"

He hadn't, had he? Sure, he had had doubts himself about how it had ended between them, even admitting that he had made mistakes as well, like turning his back and walking away from her. But he had never asked anything like that of her! Hell, he had even made sure that she would be able to get a job at the San Francisco Chronicle, and a damn good one.

"Oh, yeah? Tell me one thing… what was her one big dream? Ever since we met that girl and from what we heard, she had only that one dream for a long time before that already," Finn asked, raising an eyebrow.

Logan looked down. "The New York Times, but she didn't get in. I had nothing to do with that."

At least he hoped so. There was a slight possibility that his father had put his weight in, or rather placed some well thought-out doubts with the right people, out of revenge. His asshole of a father was like that when scorned and after everything that had happened between him and Mitchum, between him and Rory and between Mitchum and Rory he was certain his father held a grudge. And Logan still had a hard time believing that the Times had actually been stupid enough to not take her, with all her credentials, talent and dedication. He never had the balls to find out for sure, though, not willing to be responsible for yet another thing his family ruined for her.

Then again, she wasn't the only good candidate applying for the available internship positions. Every top, good or even bad reporter wanted to be accepted and there were very few slots to accommodate all those very talented writers. And really, was ruining Rory's life that much of a big deal? Was it worth his father's efforts? Mitchum was first and foremost a businessman, he did everything for the utmost, possible profit. What could he have gained by doing something like that?

Finn though wasn't content yet. "And apart from that?" he asked, impatiently and quite provokingly.

Shifting uncomfortably, Logan knew exactly where Finn wanted to go and he was not at all ready to go down that road. "I got her a job at the Chronicle. Okay, it's perhaps not the Times, but it is still a damn good paper."

"Logan, what did she want, ever since she was a little child?" Finn repeated, more insistent now.

His jaw flexing, Logan remained silent.

"Say it, Logan. For your own sake and hers, say it already."

"Why? Why is that so important?"

"Just say it!"

"An overseas reporter. There, I've said it! Now what?" Logan hissed, glaring at Finn who had the nerve to smile proudly.

"Now ask yourself where in your proposal did you give her any room to fulfill that dream of hers," he said calmly. "To not become just your little wifey but to get out there into the world and thrive. To live the life of a grown-up… a young person just coming from college ready to tackle anything and start a new life?"

Again, Logan only met his eyes with silence. There was nothing he could say, really. It was true enough, he guessed.

"Ever thought about that?"

Logan raised his head, looking his friend straight in the eyes. "Every fucking day since she said no. And for the record, I never asked her to not become an oversea correspondent. All I asked her was to come with me, be with me, what job exactly she'd take on the paper was all up to her and her boss."

Finn rolled his eyes. "Ah, so when you told her about the house and about starting a family, you explicitly told her that you still want her to go for her dreams, just with you along the ride? Didn't you in fact tell her that you weren't going to do the long-distance relationship thing again, no way? Because, correct me if I'm wrong, she'd have to do a lot of traveling in that kind of job, yes? She wouldn't be home much, basically making it a long-distance relationship, with or without a ring." Logan opened his mouth but no words came out. "So basically, you did tell her after all, either you or her dream job."

This was just wrong. Finn made it sound like... it was just wrong!

"Yet, she's still not an overseas correspondent," Logan pointed out defensively.

"Right... Following a candidate for president during the whole campaign really gives her much opportunity to be at home and spend time with husband and children," Finn gave back, awfully dry.

"That's not..." he stopped, standing up abruptly to move over to the window.

The view was depressing, then again, Logan wouldn't want it any other way. He would think it as an affront if he had a beautiful view here while he was waiting for news on Rory. "All that doesn't matter anymore anyway," he said softly, wrapping his arms around himself.

"No?"

"No." Turning away from the view of only another wall of the hospital, he searched once more for his friend's eyes. "I just want her back. If necessary, I'll beg on my hands and knees for her to reconsider our relationship. I don't care where she works or what life she's living, I want to be a part of it. If she just..." He couldn't continue.

Moving towards his friend, Finn gently laid a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, she's going to be fine. Remember, she's young and strong and this is the best trauma hospital in the city. And once she wakes up, she'll be ecstatic to see you and hear you finally remembered that you fools love each other way too much to let a little two-letter word get between you two."

Maybe. Hopefully. He still had his doubts. But a guy could hope after all.

"Hear, hear," he more or less prayed, looking back at the depressing wall across from the window.

"Logan!"

Startled, Logan swiveled around, for one tiny second believing he had heard Rory and all this was only a terrible nightmare. However, it wasn't Rory but her mother who was so very much alike her daughter, so similar. Her looks, her voice and her manner of speaking, her habits and simply her whole personality.

While Lorelai still looked stunning, she looked distraught and desperate. Probably a lot like how he looked right now. Giving the dozing Finn a nudge, he slowly crossed the room to face Lorelai and the entire Rory clan which he realized upon seeing them all spill into the room. Instead of wasting any time with formalities, he cut right through to the thing they'd want to know the most. "The doctor was here only a little while ago. She made it through surgery. The bullet caused a lot of damage, but they think they were able to repair it all. They're bringing her to ICU right now. We should be able see her shortly, only for a few minutes though and only the closest family members."

That last bit worried him. He needed to see her, touch her, hold her hand and tell her again how very important it was for her to pull through and come back to them. If only her family had not arrived too soon!

Also, he wasn't sure if they still would let him see her, now that they were here. Only close family members, they had said and he obviously wasn't that, as Lorelai and the rest of them knew only too well. Would they tell the hospital staff that he wasn't her fiancé? Would they really be so cruel to deny him to see her?

"But she's going to be okay, yes?" Lorelai urged him to say, grabbing his arm, her fingers digging into his flesh.

His features instantly darkened. "They weren't very specific about it. The surgery went well. We have to wait until she wakes up. But we can be hopeful for a full recovery," he repeated the annoying words the doctor had told him. Why couldn't the doctors just say if she was surviving this or not?

"Preposterous! Richard!" Emily seethed, turning on her heel.

"Yes, let's go find someone competent here." Briefly hugging Lorelai, Richard nodded with a look of determination on his face that Logan was only too familiar with. Both his grandfather and father had worn it often enough and he knew that in a short time, heads were going to roll and most likely, every one from the head of surgery to the directors and members of the hospital board were going to have to report to the Gilmores.

Good. They sure deserved it, Logan thought with satisfaction.

They were just about to leave the waiting room when an unfamiliar nurse appeared by the door. "Rory Gilmore?"

Lorelai was in front of her in a flash. "Yes! I'm her mother. Can I see her now?"

The nurse was beginning to nod when Christopher too stepped up. "And I'm her father. I want to see her as well."

"You both can come with me. Only five minutes though. And only the two of you for the time being." Logan felt his hopes to see his Ace soon already crushing when the nurse's eyes swept through the room. "I understand there's also a fiancé waiting?"

Oh shit!

The silence in the room was deafening as all eyes turned towards him. Blood suddenly rushing in his ears, Logan's mind went totally blank. Only a nudge from Finn, pushing him gently forwards, brought him back to the here and now. Well, more or less.

Avoiding everyone's eyes, he nodded, feeling beads of sweat rolling down his neck and back. "Uh, yeah, that would be me."

"You'll be able to see her shortly in an hour, if the family agrees," the nurse told him before turning back to Lorelai and Christopher. "Now, if you'll follow me?"

Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Lorelai still staring at him for a moment, but then she turned to hug Luke and hurried with Christopher after the nurse without a word his way. Something told him that that was not going to stay like that though. Only too aware of Rory's stepfather and grandparents still watching him with a frown, he mumbled something, making an excuse to freshen up before escaping the waiting room.

Forlorn, he stopped outside. So the cat was out of the bag now. They knew about his lie and it was up to Lorelai now to let him see Rory or not.

No.

No, that wasn't true. He was Logan Huntzberger, he had sneaked in and out of far more difficult places than a hospital room. If Lorelai really was so heartless to refuse him his right to see her, he would just find another way.

Leaving the bathroom, he wasn't all that surprised to run into Lorelai. He had taken his time, way past the five minutes she and Christopher had been granted. She obviously had cried, though, so he postponed the mental agonizing to first ask the most important thing. "How is she?"

Very much to his relief, Lorelai simply answered, not holding back anything. "Looking pale and vulnerable, hooked up to a myriad of machines and it's without doubt the worst thing I ever saw in my life. But she's sleeping and they assured me she's not feeling any pain right now, so there's at least that."

He mutely nodded, not liking the image of his Ace forming in his mind after Lorelai's description. In a way he was almost afraid to see her like that. Then again... "Can't be worse than actually seeing her shot and bleeding. Not to mention losing consciousness in my arms," he muttered, more to himself than anything else.

Her blue eyes pierced through him, but surprisingly, she said nothing else. Well, he for sure wasn't going to bring up his relationship status with Rory. The less he had to talk about it, the better. Restlessly, he turned to go back into the waiting room, sensing her following him. Luke was standing by the window. Richard and Emily were back, still impatient though. He would bet that soon the high horses would start parading through here. Christopher was sitting beside them, his face buried in his hands. Probably seeing the way Rory was had taken its toll on him. Clenching his jaw, Logan ignored the fear that observation evoked in him and headed for Finn who was slumped in his chair, watching everyone out of half-closed eyes. He had almost made it when Lorelai finally spoke.

"Care to explain the fiancé part?"

Stopping dead in his tracks, Logan slowly turned to face her, not sure how to answer that one. Well, he needn't have bothered as his mouth suddenly had a mind of its own and a very determined one at that. "We reconciled."

What?!

His own eyes widened and boy, he sure wasn't the only one. Pretty much everyone's attention was solely on him after his outburst.

Before he could think of the best way to take that back, his mouth made a strike again though. "A couple of weeks ago. And last night, I went to see her and well, now we're engaged."

No! Wrong, wrong, wrong!

Sure enough, Lorelai's eyes narrowed. "She never mentioned anything like that."

No? Duh? Why ever not?

But yet again, his mouth was quicker, riding him even farther into the shithole. "We wanted to keep it between the two of us, see where it was heading first before bringing the family in again. Of course, after last night, we were going to tell you guys."

God, why hadn't he just said the truth? He was sure they would have understood! But these lies? Oh, when the truth came out he was so going to pay! And he couldn't even blame them.

"Why don't I believe you?" Lorelai asked, her eyes shooting daggers.

Because it was complete bullshit? Too late to back out now, though. Well, in that case he could as well take advantage of it. "Believe what you want. Just don't make it difficult for me to go see her. Please. I need to see her," he begged. Seeing her glance sharpening, his face hardened. "I have a right to see her," he stated and fiancé or not, he had good reason, damn it. "I was the one who was there when she got shot. The one who brought her here, the one who called you. I waited for more than seven fucking long hours for any news on her. I have a right to see her."

"Nonsense! Of course you can see her, son. No one is denying you that," Richard interrupted whatever was going on between him and Lorelai, coming over to pat his shoulder. "Apart from what has happened to Rory, I am so happy to hear such wonderful news, especially in the light of this tragedy."

"Yes, at least some good news! I am so happy for you two, Logan!" Emily too cheered, coming over to hug him. "About time you two lovebirds came to your senses. Right, Lorelai?" she asked, sending her daughter a warning look.

Lorelai didn't look as if she agreed. "I don't..."

Much to Logan's surprise, Luke chose that moment to come over and hug Lorelai. "Why don't we wait with any celebrations until we have real cause to celebrate? Once Rory is awake again and back to good, I'm sure she and Logan will love to talk about this. Until then, let's sit back and concentrate on her getting better."

Everyone sobered after that, retreating back to their chosen places. Only Logan couldn't just let it go yet, having to know something for sure first. "And I can go see her next time we're allowed at her bedside, right?"

Lorelai's eyes met his, searching them. He could tell she was still not happy with him, but whatever she saw in his eyes must have convinced her of something at least as she gave a curt nod before burying her head in her husband's chest.

It was good enough for him and he too finally went back to his chair. Sporting a shit-eating grin, Finn slapped his back when he sat down beside him. "Boy, Reporter Girl will so have your balls for this," he softly whispered, only for him to hear.

No, shit!

Lorelai's and Christopher's reaction had warned him but he still wasn't prepared to actually see her in the ICU. He had been right, though, as hard and horrible as this was, it was nothing compared to the sight he witnessed in the stadium. Here at least he had the consolation that she had been treated well, that everything had been done for her immediate recovery. He hoped that soon this nightmare was going to end with a happy ending.

While back there in the stadium, he had found her after being shot, not knowing if she was going to live or die when she lost consciousness in his arms and all he could do was call for others to help her and pray that they could save her.

At the pure memory of it, he felt a cold shiver go down his spine. Swallowing, he leaned down to press his face against hers. The skin beneath his was clammy, but he could feel some warmth at least and he could feel her breath on his neck, as soft as it was. Closing his eyes, he breathed in deeply. Despite the hospital smell and, for sure, the antiseptic they had used during surgery, he could still detect that unique smell of hers that was just simply Rory, a mixture of vanilla and old books, or so he had always liked to think of.

"Don't be pissed, okay? I kind of told everyone, including your family, that we've gotten back together and are now engaged," he whispered into her ear. "Don't know what devil rode me. I just wanted to make sure that I can see you and I thought this is the best way to make that possible. So yell all you want, I don't regret it."

Closing his eyes, he imagined her sitting in front of him, or no, even better, her lying beside him on their bed or rather, beneath him. Her eyes blazing with annoyance only, and hopefully, with no trace of rejection.

"Basically, though, it was your fault. You're the one who made me promise not to leave you in the first place. Not that I planned on leaving you at all. But you see, this mess is all on you." He could almost hear her argument, denying her part in this. "It worked though, didn't it? I'm here. Waiting for you."

A tremble ran through his body as the emotions got the better of him. Blinking away sudden tears pooling in the corner of his eyes, he pressed a kiss onto her jaw-line. "Please, Rory, please. Come back to me. Come back, wake up. If only to kick my ass or kiss me, I don't care, just come back," he pleaded, his voice giving out.

There was no answer, only the steady and reassuring beeping of the heart monitor.

TBC!

(Author's note: As promised, here is the new chapter! I love your reviews, guys, thank you so much! I'm very happy you like the story so far. Hopefully, this new installment didn't disappoint either. Three chapters down, three more to go. Enjoy and until soon!)