Author's Note:
You guys have been incredible and so supportive. I'm sorry I tormented you with such a long wait this time! I'm in the process of apartment hunting so I was a bit slower than normal. But I love how you've all been with this. You're incredible, thank you. And to those of you with guest accounts that I can't respond to with a pm or something, thanks for reading even though you don't have an account xD
Also two more things;
1. Cross to Bear made it into the Fanatic Fanfic Multi-fandom awards! It's in the Supernatural category so if you read it and liked it maybe shoot it a vote :)
2. I drew Desirae older on my zafonart tumblr account and deviantart. So check her out if you feel like it!
Time ticked by and Cas could hear every single little sound like someone banging against a pot relentlessly. He was tired but sleep wouldn't come. Sitting and waiting was eating him alive, he didn't want to know what time it was anymore, he didn't want to look at a clock. All he wanted was to know what was happening with Dean. The staff were really nice to him, maybe because he was a very strange creature and they didn't want to get hurt or something. But he figured that they would probably call the police if he actually frightened them.
They'd given him hospital clothing to wear instead of the bloodied mess he'd arrived in. It was cleaner for his wound, they'd told him. He didn't mind, it smelled a lot better and that was a small comfort.
Jet had fallen asleep again, Sam stayed at his side with Desirae who tended to run in and out of the room with more energy than Cas could understand at that moment. Bobby went in and out too, but he did it to see how everyone was doing. He said it was okay by him to get snacks and things for the rest of the team, he wanted to feel useful and Cas respected that. Charlie and Michael were sitting with Garth but they tended to wander around a bit more, stretching their legs and talking with some of the staff. Garth was like their place-maker, sitting in the same spot dependably waiting for news about Dean.
Cas appreciated everyone's help and presence; he knew that if he were sitting there alone he'd lose his mind. He'd end up listening to the sound of the clocks ticking, nurses talking quietly and rush of movement every now and then. Not that he wasn't doing that already, but it was more bearable with the others. He was sitting near where Garth was but he moved seats a lot more, he was nervous and had to pace once in a while. It tended to leave him in another part of the room when he decided to sit again, at that moment he had moved into the excess waiting chairs in the hallway. No one else was there though, it was late and most people had done their visiting or went home. The doctor had said their group should go home, Dean might take a while to recover and it'd be uncomfortable to stay in the waiting room.
They said they'd wait, none of them wanted to go and hang out in the mansion after what had happened. Michael and Garth could've left if they wanted to, though they didn't seem to want to go anywhere. Michael wanted to stay close to Cas and Garth insisted he never abandoned friends that needed him. So they all stayed, much to the staff's dismay.
Cas noticed that there were people staring at him; he wished he could take a nap to ignore it. But it wasn't every day that they saw someone with real wings, he imagined that people waiting in a hospital were fairly excited to see a winged person. He tried to look as small as he could, take away any anxiety about him being scary any sort of way that he could.
"Are you an angel?"
Castiel looked up to see an older lady with a walker, she seemed so gentle and he could only smile, "I wish I was,"
She smiled too, "My husband and I have been here waiting for our first grandchild," she took a seat next to him and turned to give her the attention he felt she deserved. She just offered her story without any prompting and he was happy to focus on something else. "My daughter's been in labour for almost 30 hours now, doctor says it's looking good though."
"That's great news," Cas wasn't totally sure what that meant. He had an idea, it had something to do with giving birth but the terminology was lost on him. The elder lady could tell he was faking it to a certain extent, but she laughed.
"It's okay to ask if you don't know, dear."
Cas smiled sheepishly, "I've been in so many situations lately where I don't know things I should, and it always seems to hurt people."
"It can hurt people, but I think lying can hurt worse." She looked at him with a knowing smile.
"Sorry," Cas bowed his head a little, "I didn't mean to lie to you. What do you mean by being in labour for 30 hours?"
"Well to save you the details, it means that the baby is coming out, but it's taking a long time."
"Oh," Cas lit up, "So you must be very excited."
"I am," she nodded, "Haven't held a baby in a long time." She was quiet for a moment, the two sat comfortably together. Then she looked him over, a bit puzzled, "What are you doing here, if you're not an angel?"
"I'm waiting," Cas fidgeted with his fingers and looked down at the floor, "My boyfriend was poisoned and we don't know if he'll be okay…"
"Oh my," she whispered and placed a shaking hand on his arm, "I'm sorry to hear that, waiting is never easy, is it?"
He shook his head and wiped tears away from his eyes, "No, it's the worst part. I don't know if I'll get to talk to him again or if that was the last time…"
"You're too young to have to ask those questions," she sighed and gave a gentle squeeze. "Hang in there."
"Thank you," he smiled at her, it was a subtle expression but he could tell she appreciated it.
As they sat together he noticed that others started to approach him. They all saw that one person had the nerve to get near the strange man with wings and was left unharmed for quite some time. In fact she touched him and talked to him and nothing bad happened. It was apparently safer to get close, so people did.
"Are those real?" A middle-aged man asked, he looked tired like most of the people in the waiting area. He was one of the ones that was injured or sick and not just waiting for a loved one. Cas knew he was referring to the wings, so instead of answering directly he raised them and slowly stretched them out to their full size.
"Whoa!" A resounding sound of awe reverberated in the halls of that section of the hospital.
"Are you human?" A woman asked skeptically, he could tell by her body language that she was very concerned about his presence.
"To be honest I don't know." Cas admitted and slowly lowered his wings again, curling them against his body to make them small. "I was an average person until I was abducted and experimented on, now I don't know how much of me is human and how much isn't." He noticed that there were phones in front of him, people were filming. Part of him knew he should probably discourage it, but he was too tired to really fight them. Maybe just a word would help.
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't record me," he said softly, "But if you do I won't stop you."
"Put the phone down," the elderly lady insisted to the people that didn't turn their devices off. "You're being rude."
"This is real life fantasy shit, I'm not turning off my phone." Someone said and another agreed immediately.
Cas smiled at his new friend, "Thank you anyway,"
"You don't need this now, honey. I'm sorry I can't do more for you." She reassured him and he had to hug her.
"Hey!" Michael called over the chatter of the crowd that was gathering around Castiel, "No filming, what's wrong with you?" He went right for the people who were blatantly holding up their phones and knocked them aside. "Did you hear me?"
"Michael you're going to get thrown out," Cas warned gently, but it didn't seem to help much. The guy Michael basically assaulted jumped on the opportunity to relieve stress and shoved the older Novak a few feet back.
Michael didn't fall but he stumbled enough to feel embarrassed. Cas knew what he was going to do, he knew what the other guy was going to do too. Instead of letting the two fight he stepped forward and used his wings to block both of them. He didn't flinch as both men ran right into his rigid wings, he absorbed both of their momentum and flung them each backward.
"Enough," he demanded and folded his wings back, "I'm tired, please don't fight."
People didn't stop recording him but the fighting was over, some were staring at his eyes. He figured they glowed when he got upset, but that was bound to happen in front of anyone who didn't know. Cas sat back down and dropped his face into his hands.
"I just want Dee to be okay," he mumbled and the area went quiet. Michael sat down next to him, a heavy exhale was the most prominent sound he made. Nothing was said for quite a while, Cas wasn't counting the seconds but he could feel it in his limbs. They'd gotten stiff from remaining in the same position too long.
"Ma'am," a nurse approached the elderly lady who hadn't moved from Cas' side either. "Your daughter's asking for you."
"Oh!" She exclaimed excitedly, moving but unsure of what to do with herself. "Oh the baby's here? I need to get over there!"
Cas looked up at the genuine joy that lit up the woman's face. He smiled and touched her arm, "Congratulations."
She leaned over and hugged him again, "Take care, dear."
"Castiel," he told her, "My name's Castiel."
"Martha," she smiled sweetly and followed the nurse with excited little steps, going as fast as her walker would carry her. Cas watched until she disappeared into a room and sighed lightly.
"Hospitals are scary." He said and leaned back, he felt a pull in his muscles and made a note to move around more.
"You always hated them," Michael muttered through a yawn. "They depressed you most of the time."
Cas looked over at his brother, he still didn't feel the original connection but that was the first moment he felt something between the two of them. He was friends with Charlie again, but Michael was different. He was harder to approach and Cas wasn't sure how to deal with that. But he could see a way it could work, if he really tried to. "Did I tell you why?"
"Well mostly it's all bad news," Michael looked at him with an amused smirk, "To which I told you that some people get amazing news in hospitals too."
"Like what?" Cas asked and Michael chuckled.
"You said that too. At the time I told you that some people are given good news like 'it's a benign tumour.'" Michael was looking in Cas' direction but his eyes were focused on the past, "You said that they got the bad news first, getting relieving news doesn't count as good news. I didn't have an answer, I just let you decide to hate hospitals."
Cas hummed his understanding and looked down, "That's a dark outlook on hospitals… I think I can relate."
"Yeah, maybe." Michael scoffed softly and leaned back, "But you just witnessed a lady become a grandma for the first time. Isn't that good news?"
Cas glanced down the hall again, he remembered Martha's face and how happy she was. It was uplifting, and it happened in a hospital. Marth didn't seem too worried about her daughter, but it was possible that the situation could've ended badly too. It hadn't, but did that make the news any less good? And what about Dean? Cas knew that right then he was scared for Dean's life, that no news was terrible news. It made him feel horrible.
But if he was told that Dean was okay, would the previous stress make that information bad? He wasn't sure…
"Cas?" Michael asked tentatively, Cas figured he must've been quiet for a while, he wasn't exactly paying attention.
"Maybe… relieving news is good news." He said and Michael nodded, nothing else to say to that.
"Are you… Castiel?" A nurse asked, his head tilted curiously as he eyed the wings. Michael gave an unimpressed look in response to the nurse's once-over.
"I am," Cas' eyes lit up as he tried to keep his hopes down. "Is… is there news on Dee?"
"There is, he's stable now and though he's unconscious the doctor says he can have visitors."
Cas jumped out of his chair, "Which room?"
"He was moved to 609, I'll show you."
"I'll tell the others," Michael got up and that was the last thing Cas heard him say. His attention was completely focused on Dean and how slowly the nurse was moving.
An agonizing trip to the sixth floor, and down a never ending hallway later; Cas found himself entering a quiet, dim room. It had the same sounds as all the other rooms, mainly that beep that insisted the person's heart was beating. Dean was hooked up like Jet was, but he had a mask over his face and the room was swamped in the heavy sound of ragged breathing.
"He's… stable?" Cas asked hesitantly as he walked into the room, tears in his eyes all over again.
"Yes," the nurse said quietly, "His lungs were damaged, so for now he'll need a respirator to help him breathe properly."
"Will it heal?" Cas sat down at Dean's bedside slowly, he couldn't take his eyes off his boyfriend's unmoving face.
"Well… it's hard to say."
"Is that a yes or a no?"
The nurse sighed lightly, a sound that most wouldn't notice but Cas heard it clearly. "It's unclear, but the doctor believes he'll recover. But he might need a respirator for the rest of his life."
Cas covered his mouth as a sob tore up his throat. Dean would recover. He reached down and held Dean's hand firmly, cupping it between his and squeezing as he swallowed the news. "He's going to recover?" he repeated questioningly, not sure he should even be hopeful about it. He couldn't help the swell of relief in his chest.
The nurse smiled a little and nodded, "We think so, yeah."
That was all Castiel needed. He pressed his forehead against Dean's limp hand and held onto it tightly. Words wouldn't reach his mouth anymore, pressure built up in his throat and every sound that he tried to make ended up making him cry a little harder. Dean would recover.