Meanwhile…

Dean found himself unable to focus on anything for the longest time, he remembered trying to speak and the horrible pain he'd found himself in. He remembered hearing Castiel and his vision going black. And that was it. His consciousness was far from accessible. It was like being asleep but colder.

And then suddenly he opened his eyes. It was fast and left him disoriented, staring into a location he didn't recognize. In fact it didn't really look like anything at all. He blinked a few times to try and wrap his head around what he was seeing or what was going on, and then;

"Dean?"

He looked up at the worried expression on a very familiar and welcomed face, and knew that he must've been within his own mind. "Cas," Dean waved once and glanced around them, "I'm used to seeing you in a dream or something…"

"Yeah, dreaming doesn't happen when you're unconscious like this." Cas walked up to Dean's side, there was a nervousness about him that made Dean feel anxious too.

"You okay?"

"I don't know," Cas placed his hand over his chest and looked down, "I'm scared I guess…"

"Cas hasn't slept yet," Dean remembered out loud and nodded his head, "Yeah, I could see why you'd be scared."

"Well if you die now you take me with you, so I may not need to worry at all." Cas chuckled and rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh," Dean felt a drop in his stomach, "Well yeah… I guess so." He hadn't thought about that yet, being inside his own head was a sign he hadn't died but how would he know when did? Would everything go dark? Was anything he felt at that moment translating to his body, or would his body affect him inside his head? What if he went into a coma or maybe he was already dead and they were stuck like that forever?

"Dean," Cas interrupted his rambling thoughts and reached over to take his hand, Dean held tight as soon as he could. "It'll be okay,"

Dean sighed and turned to give Cas a hug, he hung on and dropped his head against Cas' shoulder. "Thanks, I hope you're right."

They sat together silently for a long time, waiting for the empty space around them to become something or nothing. Neither knew what was going to happen, it very well could've been the eleventh hour for them both. Dean hadn't let go of Cas' hand the entire time; they wound up lying down and staring up. There wasn't anything to look at really, but it was better than pacing back and forth. Cas rested his head on Dean's chest; it was a familiar weight and reminded him of going to bed on a normal day.

Dean wasn't sure if that was a comfort or not. He didn't want to just slip away unknowingly, but at the same time he didn't want to end up panicked and watching his world go dark either. So he closed his eyes and listened, thinking maybe death would make some sort of sound or something. It wasn't very helpful but it was better than staring at the same nothing forever.

Castiel's hand moved in his once in a while, little bits of wriggling and then falling still again. That was the only thing Dean paid attention to, Castiel's movements and sounds. Breaking it down he decided that Cas was the one person he knew had to be with him in the end, no matter what. It was just the two of them forever.

"The waiting is killing me," Cas muttered and Dean laughed.

"Yeah, same." He reached up with his free hand and ran his fingers through Cas' hair. It was weird to imagine he was doing those things inside his head. Hell, he didn't even know if he was actually thinking or what was going on. It didn't matter though; he could trip out on it later if he survived whatever the hell happened to him.

"Wanna do something?" Cas asked and looked up, Dean just shrugged.

"Like what?"

"I dunno... lemme think."

"How about 'I spy?'" Dean smirked and looked down at Cas' thoughtful expression, "I spy with my little eye-"

"Shut up, I hate that game." Cas snickered and covered Dean's mouth. "I wanna try something, when I was younger I read somewhere that there's a list of questions you need to ask your partner. Then once you both answer them you stare at each other for like four minutes."

"Okay… and then what?"

"And apparently that's all you need to fall in love with someone." Cas nestled his head back down, "I just so happened to have memorized a few of them."

Dean hummed in response and ran his fingers through Cas' hair again, "Yeah? Don't we need all of them?"

"I dunno," Cas shrugged and glanced up again, "But I think it'd be a fun way to pass the time."

"Sure," he laughed, he didn't see any reason not to. Cas was just as scared as he was; the least he could do was humour his boyfriend for a little while.

"Okay, so if you were given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?"

"Do they have to be alive?" Dean knew his question was probably obvious; anyone in the world meant anyone on Earth at the time. But he had to ask anyway.

"For the sake of my curiosity, no." Cas answered gently, Dean could feel the subtle way Cas tensed at the thought.

"Then I think I'd want to have dinner with my mom,"

"Awww! Yours is so sweet and sentimental! Mine's a celebrity, now I feel stupid."

"C'mon you started this," Dean teased, "Who would you pick?"

"Chris Hemsworth."

"Friggin' fanboy," Dean grinned when Cas elbowed his side, "Should I be jealous?"

"No," Castiel laughed and lightly pat the part he'd hit. "It's shallow, no need to worry."

"If you say so."

"I do. Next question I remember; share an embarrassing story with your partner."

"You first."

Cas started to protest but stopped himself, "Alright, sure. I'd say my most embarrassing story would be…" as he paused to think Dean laughed again.

"Too many to pick from?"

"Shut up, I'm deciding the most embarrassing one!" Cas replied dramatically but without any venom in his voice. Dean was very appreciative of Cas' upbeat attitude considering their situation. He also knew that asking questions of one another wasn't the same at that moment as it would've been if Dean was talking to Cas while they were both awake. One part of Cas remembered past events and could actually share old stories while the other was completely oblivious to them. Every opportunity to learn something new about Castiel Novak was an opportunity Dean wouldn't dare miss.

"Okay yeah I got it; so I was in like grade 8 or something and I had a huge crush on this one guy. I didn't talk to him much though, partly because I was a little shy at the time, but mostly it was 'cause I wasn't out of the closet yet. Anyway one day he sat with me at lunch, other spots were full in the cafeteria and his friend wasn't in school that day. We talked for bit and I got really excited, so much that by the time our lunch break was over I was hard as hell."

"Oooooo…" Dean cringed and looked down sympathetically at Cas, "I think I know where this story's going."

"Yeah, I refused to get up and he was waiting for me. I wanted him to leave but I couldn't possibly be rude to my crush so we sat there until a teacher came to get us. Long story short I was dragged up out of my chair and everyone in the room got to see my boner." Cas chuckled and shook his head, "Oh god… It was horrible. I couldn't ever talk to him again after that."

"That's pretty bad," Dean agreed, "But I've got one better. So Jet and I liked to dare each other to do shit and we gave some incentive when it was something really intense. One summer, when we were 17 and bored out of our minds, he said he had 50 bucks if I wanted to earn it-"

"Please tell me he was your first gay crush," Cas popped up smiling like a dork and Dean shoved him back down.

"No, he wasn't."

"Ohhh that tone! He so was!"

"Shut up, let me tell my story."

"That's so cute!"

Dean rolled his eyes, "Anyway, your weird delusions aside, I was short some cash so I said yes before knowing what it was. He dared me to go streaking around the neighbourhood, I was feeling brave so I said sure and stripped down. I ran around to one side of the neighbourhood, it was late and no one saw me so I was pretty confident. I decided to cut through our neighbour's yard on the way back so I jumped the fence in their backyard. Turned out they had an alarm system that went off and scared the shit out of me. I panicked, got my foot caught in something and fell. The police showed up as well as half the neighbourhood."

"That's rough." Cas said with a laugh, "Did Jet give you the money?"

"He did, yeah. Said I totally earned it and never let me live it down." He glanced down at the amused grin on Cas' face, "Don't you bring it up with him, either. I think he finally forgot."

"No promises."

"Of course not," Dean sighed and lay back again, "Okay, so next question?"

"Say something that you already like about your partner."

Dean paused, what could he possibly say? There were so many things. He could go on about how gorgeous he thought Cas was, all the surface things that anyone else could see. But that didn't feel right, it had to be something far more meaningful.

"Your silence tells me I should go first, so one of the first things I know I liked about you was your smell."

Dean smiled; of course it was his smell. That was the first thing that Cas knew about him. And then it dawned on him, had Cas liked him immediately from when they first met? He had to ask, "Wait, wasn't that was the first thing you knew about me?"

"Yeah."

"And that was the first thing you liked?" He reiterated, "Like, you literally liked me right away?"

"Hard to say," Cas sighed, his tone very light-hearted. Dean had noticed the vocal differences between Castiel in his dreams and the one he saw while awake. He figured it had something to do with confidence; the Cas in his mind seemed to know a lot of things and could successfully feign boldness. Whether he was faking right then or not Dean wasn't sure.

"I guess you wouldn't really remember, huh?"

"I do remember," Cas looked at him with a smirk, "I'm the part of my brain that remembers, but I don't know if I liked you because of your smell or if I liked your smell because it was something new. To be honest I was a little scared of you at first, but you said my name in a way I hadn't heard it in a long time."

"That's fair," Dean could feel a swell of regret pulling at him the more he heard Castiel speak. He could see a future for the two of them, he could see the moments they'd share and knew that his life would be amazing with Cas. But the more he saw it the heavier it became, it was all shit that might never happen. The two of them could just as easily die there together, which was why they were playing 20 questions in the first place. But every new detail he learned about Castiel was a new reason he wanted to live.

One moment he was accepting of his fate and the next he wanted to fight it. Dean didn't know the right answer; he didn't know what the hell he should do or if he even had a say in it.

"Are you okay, Dean?" Cas had sat up and was leaning over him, a worried look to make Dean feel a little bad for remaining silent so long.

"I want to say yes so you could relax," he admitted honestly, "But I don't know if I can lie to you right now."

"Then don't."

Dean didn't know what to say to Cas, or how to approach anything that was happening anymore. So instead he decided to just start talking without thinking, hoping maybe he'd come across the right words. "Something I already like about you… there are so many things I don't know what to pick from. You're beautiful but there's so much more to you than that. You're the strongest person I've ever met and I feel inspired when I think about how far you've come."

Cas didn't say a word, he just watched Dean as the words flowed and sorted themselves out. Dean couldn't look at Cas' face while he talked; it was a little too much for him to handle at that moment.

"You've survived something horrendous, people have hurt you and yet you're still here with me. You've given me so much of yourself, you trusted me despite everything that's happened. You still smile and laugh even though you're scared about what might happen in the future. You don't remember so much of the world but you're learning it all again. You trip and fall but you've gotten up every single time, and I don't know where you get that kind of courage. I admire you and I respect you," he sat up knowing he couldn't say all of those things without looking at Cas, despite how much he really wanted to just ramble and then hide.

Castiel's expression was difficult to read, complicated and overwhelmed were the two best descriptions Dean had for it. "Do you really mean that?" He asked soft and Dean could only nod for a few seconds.

"I love you, Cas."

Cas didn't respond, he just moved forward and into Dean's lap. Their lips locked and arms wrapped around one another, Dean didn't ever want to move from there. Cas stayed with him even after breaking off the kiss, nuzzling his cheek and hugging him close.

"I love you too, Dean."

"Your game worked," Dean smirked and that smile only widened as he felt Cas laughing.

"Shut up, we only did two questions." Cas giggled and gave him another quick kiss. "Goon."

Dean just smiled as he looked at Cas. Yeah he was afraid of what was going to happen to the both of them, but he knew that even if he died he'd be with Castiel. And at the same time Castiel would still live, he'd just never remember the things he'd disconnected from. It was as win-win as Dean could imagine a worst-case scenario could be.

Just as he was settling into what could be a long or short wait, Dean noticed an odd shimmer in the sky above them. Or, at least what he decided was the sky anyway.

"I went to sleep," Cas looked up but he didn't sound pleased.

"So… you're leaving now?"

Cas frowned and his brow creased as he slowly stood up. "Yeah… I mean I could…"

Dean stood up too and put his hand on Cas' shoulder, "It's okay, you can go."

Cas looked at him sadly, "I wanted you to be there to help me, but I got you hurt instead. I can't just leave you here alone."

"Hey," Dean raised an eyebrow and put on his best brave face, "You promised you'd jump ship as soon as you were sleeping again. So get going."

Cas stared at him silently for a few seconds, Dean could see there were thousands of thoughts flying around in Cas' head at once and he tried to silence them with another kiss.

"I'll be fine."

"You better be," Cas put on a brave face of his own; it wasn't as convincing as it had been before but it did enough. "You'd better wake up soon."

"I'll work on it."

Dean watched Castiel disappear and it really sunk in that he was alone. But he wasn't going to sit and cry about that because something far more important was happening. Castiel was going to go through a horrible flashback, he'd remember everything that went wrong and everything that hurt him and Dean couldn't be asleep for that. He took a deep breath and looked around, there wasn't anything in front of him but he picked a direction and started running.

He was going to wake up, and goddamn it he'd be there for Cas.