A/N Hey y'all, back with a new update for my most successful and random-ass fanfic on here after a month long hiatus with no explanation whatsoever! Hooray! *pops confetti* *utter silence*

Anyways, good news, I posted a poll, and it's on what the final pairing should be. You can choose up to three people (you don't have to), and all of the options will be the most random-ass, most blindsiding characters (so basically, no Nalu, Gralu, Lalu, Sticy, Rolu, Colu, Midlu, Galu, Lolu, etc. etc.), so choose the one you guys think would be the most hilarious, and I will find some way to make that happen (and yes, yuri is included-no polygamy though). The poll will be up for the entirety of the book, and if I ever manage to get around to finishing it, it will eventually be taken down.

So go check it out!

Now that the boring part is over, let's move on! Ooh, also, a reply to a review I got on the last chapter (btw, this take is actually inspired by this person, so props to you! XD):

kurahieiritr JIO: glad you like it so far! You know, it's funny, but originally, I planned for the motorcyclist to be Sting (I've read a few reverse harems, and almost all of 'em have him as some sort of gang leader/delinquent), but then you wrote about Laxus and I was like, "My writing sucks, I can't even convey the right characters!" But then I thought over it and decided to throw a huge curveball, which eventually morphed into the crazy ass piece of hot mess you'll be reading here, so thank you for misunderstanding (and providing awesome writing fodder)! This one's for you! XD

Extended Summary: Modern AU. Should she choose the sweet next-door neighbor, the childhood friend who's always "friend zoned," the player who turns into a puddle of mush around her, the nerd with an IQ of over 200, the popular heartthrob who just so happens to have his sights set on her, the goth boy who hangs out in the corners of the room and always speaks in riddle, the delinquent who somehow makes beating people into pulp seem romantic, etc. The possibilities are endless! Oh, boy, Lucy Heartfilia's life is just so hard! Crack.

Warnings: ABSOLUTE CRACK, Lucy's reverse harem, mentions of yaoi and yuri, swearing, perverts, shameless flirting, face-palm situations, characters who you just want to bitch slap, modern AU, shameless use of teen fiction clichés, heavy sarcasm, dark themes (that I use in order to create a satire-the way I portray them IS NOT what I think of in real life, I swear, fanfiction has just turned me into a horrible, horrible person), OOCness from practically everyone (mainly Lucy, though), extreme bipolarness and randomness from practically everyone (especially Lucy), absolute chaos and stupidity, discrimination, controversial topics mentioned in controversial ways

Just a note: the ages for the characters will never be revealed-they'll mainly be alluded to, so don't be surprised if Lucy is a high school student but Cana is of legal drinking age (in US) and works at some sleazy stripper club (may or may not be true). Also, physical appearances will vary-some will be from before the time skip, some will be from after.

I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND ANYONE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM WITH THIS PORTRAYAL OF STEREOTYPES THAT I PERSONALLY DO NOT AGREE WITH. I DO NOT MEAN TO INSINUATE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM THAT ANYTHING IN THIS STORY IS ACCEPTABLE OR EXPECTED, BECAUSE A LOT OF THEMES IN THIS ARE NOT. This was all written for comedy's purpose, I swear, though I bet it was a failed attempt at humor.

Disclaimer: Man, the things I would do if I owned Fairy Tail...you don't want to know what messed up shit would pop up in there.

Take Five

Lucy Heartfilia taps her foot impatiently as she waits in the reception area to the police department.

Now, why is she here?

Because of her dumb fucker of a father.

And what did he do?

Oh, I don't know, maybe he got into fucking debt through gambling, then decided that it would be a smart idea to waste their nonexistent credit on meth and other shit to get high as a kite?

So basically, twenty pounds, a fist fight, and a phone call in which she ruptured the receptionist's eardrum and forced him into the psychiatric ward ("DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING SENSITIVE MY EARS ARE? HOLY SHIT, WOMAN!") later, Lucy silently fumes as she waits to be lead where her father is currently being held. Why she's even here, she has no idea.

She should just leave him to go die in a ditch or something.

"Ms. Heartfilia?"

Lucy's head snaps up at the sound of that overly saccharine, sugar sweet voice that she is far too familiar with. She swallows a lump upon seeing THE Mirajane "Demon" Strauss-devil Lisanna's older, hotter, and more terrifying sister. Forcing a polite smile onto her face (again-that hair color + sweetness = THEY'RE PLOTTING TO SKIN ME ALIVE AND LEAVE MY BODY TO ROT), Lucy stands and moves towards the woman, who smiles genuinely (read: plastically) back at her. "That's me."

"Oh! You're Lisanna's friend, right? I'm her older sister!"

Lucy's teeth gnash together at the sound of "Lisanna" and "friend" strung together in one sentence, but she takes in a deep breath through her nose before letting it all out in one go. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Aren't she and Natsu just the cutest things-oops, I mean, couple? ACK! Just imagine the babies!" Forgetting all about her job (which is supposed to be escorting a fuming Lucy to her soon-to-be-convicted-or-dead-by-his-daughter's-hand-whichever-comes-first father), Mirajane twirls around with her hands permanently superglued to her cheeks, her pupils suddenly (and unnaturally) turning into hearts as she goes off into la la land, imagining her younger sister's sex life. "White haired and black eyed babies! Or pink haired and blue eyed babies! Tanned skin or white skin? Nah, white, because we're all racists-ooh, ooh, I'm going to spoil them rotten with strawberry milkshakes and fire chicken and-IMAGINE THE FUCKING BABIES!"

Lucy watches in bewilderment and annoyance as the older Strauss sister appears to have a coronary and falls onto the floor, the craziest Joker smile cracking her unconscious face in half. "Umm..."

A pile of papers popped out of the doorway that Mirajane is currently blocking, and Lucy has to blink a couple of times before realizing that, no, a stack of paperwork did not just parade on a pair of human legs in front of her-someone who happens to be very, very short is carrying it.

A slight gasp comes from behind the papers, and Lucy blinks again as they're dropped, a cascade of deathly sharp edges falling to the floor as a flash of dark pink, almost red hair registers in her mind before she finds herself staring down at a girl who only looks a few years younger than Lucy herself kneeling next to the spastic demon sister, a complete, blubbery mess.

Lucy, despite being in a rather bitchy mood, practically melts upon seeing the cute, clumsy little thing (ahem, did I say thing? I meant person-really, I did-don't look at me with those eyes!), and she kneels down next to her, asking, "Are you okay?"

The girl turns her head to stare morosely at Lucy before gazing back at Mirajane. "I have to get her to the hospital!"

Another head pops out of the doorway-a head of dark pink hair that is the exact same shade as the girl kneeling next to Lucy. The only difference between the two girls is that the one who is standing looks older and far more mature (read: developed) than the girl kneeling on the ground. "Sherria? What's wrong-oh! See-" At this point, the older girl points triumphantly into the air, announcing proudly to no one in particular, "-this is what Mira lacks! Ai*! Without ai,no one can survive! Mira did not have ai-therefore, she has fainted!"

Lucy stares at the strange girl, a deadpan look on her face. Dafuq is this girl talking about?

Before she can even begin to question aloud, a hand clamps on the older girls' shoulder. She jumps but, upon turning around, backs away immediately, revealing a tall mountain of a man with a bald head but a ridiculous beard. "Jura-sama," she murmurs respectfully, and Lucy rolls her eyes back to land on the pink/red-haired menace incredulously-one moment, she's practically sparkling and glowing while pretentiously spouting some shit about ai (whatever the hell that is-she doesn't want to go anywhere near it if it'll turn her into pink/red-haired menace number two), and the next, she's all demure and quiet.

Bipolar much?

The man, identified as Jura, bows his head respectfully towards Lucy, who, shaking off her incredulity and increasing desire to hightail it out of there, nods in return. "I apologize profusely for any trouble that my colleagues have caused you. I will escort you to your father's cell, if you so desire...?"

Deciding that it'd be a good idea to get this entire thing done and over with, Lucy shrugs and steps over the mess of papers and Mirajane's jumbled limbs. "Yes, please."

Jura nods sagely before turning around, letting the cloak draped over his broad shoulders billow slightly in the draft created by his large body turning so swiftly and gracefully (like a ballerina) in place. Lucy, as she follows him, can't help herself from internally ranting on the very obvious fire hazard that such an article of clothing is, not to mention that he's wearing it in a police department of all places.

Jura leads her through a work area of some sorts, and Lucy can't help but look around curiously. Desks piled with stacks and stacks of paper are spaced throughout the room, though no one seems to actually be working. Only one person seems to be actually doing something-a man with long black hair styled perfectly such that a bun sits atop his head and two locks of hair frame his face. A pair of spectacles balances atop his straight nose, and his face is utterly blank as his hands furiously dance across the keyboard, little clacking sounds heard all the way across the room. Little clusters of people are scattered all across the work place. A group composed of all girls and one guy whose expression looks to be a cross between "why the hell am I the only guy here?" and "I think I've died and gone to heaven" sit (and stand) a little bit away from the workaholic man. There are five girls; the only one standing has sleek, jet black hair lightly colored purple under the bright lighting with a white ribbon tied around her head, its knot resting on the crown of her head. Her front is facing Lucy, so she can see the girl's angular face with large, intense brownish hazel eyes. Even as she's obviously relaxed and chatting with her co-workers, her hand hovers over her hip, where an empty holster is strapped to her belt, the gun that is most likely meant to rest in it sitting on the desk directly behind her. The other four girls (of which three are facing away from Lucy) seem much less tensed and ready to blow someone's head of his/her neck at a moment's notice, though Lucy does have something to say about that hair.

Just...really? What the hell is that green monstrosity-it looks like a lab experiment gone wrong, and who the hell wears pigtail braids anymore? What is this, kindergarden? Not to mention that wild mess of black hair (it's like an afro-enormous, puffy, and looks like its hiding some unsavory things)-and don't even mention the cat ears.

The fucking cat ears.

And what the hell is that guy thinking-never mind, how much hair product did he have to use to get his hair to stick up like that? Honestly, the dude looks like he's growing a fish tail on his head.

"WATCH OUT!"

Lucy only catches sight of the incoming flying projectile for a moment before shrieking and throwing herself as far away from the barrage of sand and dirt and tangled limbs that were thrown in her direction. Due to her graceless dodge, she ends up tackling someone onto the ground, even as shouts of apologies reach her ear.

"Ow," Lucy mutters, rubbing her forehead, which had slammed into something hard and wooden and...what the hell is that? All she can tell is that it's large and wooden and may have given her a concussion. (That's why she repeated wooden again-definitely not because the author was too lazy to search up another adjective.)

"That voice! Those eyes! That mouth! That hair! That bosom! That waist! Those legs! All of it makes my Fibonacci sequence chirp! It spells out...L-O-V-E! That's love! True Love!"

Lucy shrieks again as the thing under her actually speaks, and she careens off of it as fast as she can, a look of absolute terror and horror painted across her face. "No. No, no, no, no, there is no love in this place!"

The terrifying guy who had spouted nonsense pushes himself up off the ground, dusting his-is that a skirt?-clothes off. Crimson hair brushes across his brow, and his red (seriously, Lucy is starting to doubt that anyone in this godforsaken country has normal genetics other than her) eyes glitter madly as they land on Lucy-well, not her face, but I guess her boobs are the next best option. "You may have just tackled me-quite rudely, mind you-"

"And for that I'm sorry, can we please move on?"

"-I'm not finished yet-and you may have just insulted multiple people by saying that love doesn't exist in this facility, but don't worry baby, I'm willing to forgive you. We can make it work-we'll go on a date under the starry heavens, your beautiful features awash with warm candlelight, my rugged features shrouded in darkness, because opposites attract, or the author just wanted to throw in some sort of bullshit angst, and then we marry, have sex, and fornicate like bunnies!"

Lucy just gapes at the guy who straightens his back proudly and places his fists on his hips, the largest (and I do mean largest-his smile has got to take up at least the entire bottom half of his face, and she has yet to see his gums) smile Lucy has ever seen pasted onto the smug bastard's face. He looks absolutely ridiculous with his (poorly done) Superman stance, billowy, quite feminine skirt (#nohomotho), and-what the hell, is that a butcher knife? And a cutting board?

It's official, everyone here is fucking crazy.

Lucy is about to open her mouth and release a scathing rebuff full of choice words when her feet suddenly fly out from under her (also successfully flashing the entirety of the police department) and she lands, once again, on another sentient being.

"Oh no!" the creep exclaims from above Lucy, unable to keep his eyes off of certain parts of her anatomy. "Mrs. Straight has been hurt! I will save her!"

"Please don't," Lucy snaps, blinking her eyes as she tries to reorient herself.

"Would you get off of me?" an indignant voice sounds from underneath her, and Lucy glances down to see who she's currently suffocating (because that's a totally logical thing to do), only to get an eyeful of her own cleavage. "Um, how about now, I'm kind of dying here. You're fucking heavy."

"Oh, sorry!" Lucy jumps off of the person before the words register in her head, and she scowls. "Hey! I am not fat!"

"Sure didn't feel like it," the person mutters, adjusting the feathery dress (feathers, feathers everywhere, it's a nightmare of dead birds) that clings tightly to her curves. "And Dan, sweetie, if you get one step closer to me, I'll gut you alive. You may be in charge of filing restraining orders, but that doesn't mean that I can't throw you in jail."

"Oh, it's my dream to be verbally abused by Angel-sama!" Dan crows, clapping his hand together and running forwards, his lips puckered for a kiss, only to be knocked out by an enormous feathery fan, held by Angel herself. An enormous red matching tick mark appears on her head, and she whacks him again, sending him flying across the room and sending other people careening as he slams into a rather round (read: fat) man with an atrocious bob hairstyle. A necklace of skulls (Lucy hopes that they aren't real) adorns his nonexistent neck, a blood red cape hanging around his body, which, when Dan crashes into him, flies up, showing Lucy more than she ever wanted to know of the male body (especially this male body). A mess of papers from the bulletin board the guy had been standing in front of rip from their thumbtacks, floating around the air as both men let out in sync groans.

"Damn creep, if he didn't work here, he'd be rotting away in jail by now," Angel mutters under her breath, storming away, back towards a group consisting of three guys locked in a perpetual stare down, one with the same round (read: fat), if at a greater degree, stature as the guy who had gotten bowled over, another with a fit body and bright orange hair tied up in a ponytail, the last who looks the most normal of all, with brown hair and plain casual clothing. Some weirdo wearing a blue turban and a bright orange turban dances over to the group, somehow managing to contort his body in ungodly ways. They all shut up, though, when Angel stomps up to them, a black, menacing aura seeming to pour from her.

"DON'T YOU DARE THROW ME AND THIS BUMBLING CONTORTIONIST ACROSS THE ROOM TOGETHER EVER AGAIN, YOU DICKS FOR BRAINS!"

"Let's go on, shall we?"

Lucy nods numbly as Jura gently steers Lucy out of the chaos and towards her father.

She's never been so excited to see his ugly face.

Lucy lets out a sigh of relief when Jura closes the door behind her and him, shutting out the cacophony that is left behind. The room is dark, only a line of fluorescent lights providing enough illumination to see by. An officer sits at a desk next to the door. His legs are propped up on the sleek surface, nonchalantly leaning back on the swivel chair, the very picture of "I'm slacking off." His hair is slightly shaggy, and a scar in the shape of an "x" is glaringly obvious on his left cheek, along with the array of scars across his eyebrow and brow.

A pile of rainbow-colored rubber bands sits on the desk in front of him. Every so often, he leans forward to grab one and add it to the ever growing rubber band ball in his hands. He doesn't seem to notice the two until Jura clears his throat. "Doranbolt."

Doranbolt sighs, glancing up at Jura and Lucy before grabbing another rubber band. "Old man, how many times have I told you to call me Mest. Or even Gryder. That was a one-time thing; it's never going to happen again." Doranbolt shifts in his seat, dropping his feet from the desk. "By the way...who's the chick? Do you want to eat snow?"

Lucy blinks slowly at the question. "Who the hell are you and why are you speaking to me, peasant?"

Doranbolt shrugs, covering a yawn with his hand. "Well, suit yourself."

"Your father is this way."

Lucy nods and follows Jura towards the end of the room. It seems pretty empty, although she catches sight of a few people inside the cells. A group of three with varying physiques all decked out with greasy hair and shiny body suits that leave nothing to the imagination. Every so often they shout out, "The Jiggle Butt Gang!" or "We will rob you blind!" or something along those lines.

If anything else, they should've been lucked up for horrendous (mis)use of hair products.

Lucy stumbles a bit when she sees the person a few cells down from the Jiggle Butt Gang. It's the doctor who said he would kill her. He's sitting on the cold stone floor, seemingly meditating. The bed sheet seems none the worse for wear, and the fashion faux pas still terrifies Lucy beyond being terrified.

Well, there's no need to guess how he got in here.

The next person well and truly shocks Lucy, though. A slight sneer pulls at her lips when she sees him, while he merely laughs at her. "How's dear Erza?" he calls tauntingly through the bars, cause Lucy to tremble with rage. It's only through sheer willpower and dignity that she manages to restrain herself from breaking him out of the cell, if only to send him to the morgue immediately afterwards.

She hadn't expected to see Siegrain here, but then again, considering how much of a snot-nosed prick he is, it's no wonder that he would end up down here. The Fernandes triplets absolutely baffle Lucy-how is it possible for three identical triplets to be so different from each other? And even though Siegrain has the same blue hair, the same mouthwatering physique (not that Lucy would ever tell Erza-technically, the two aren't actually dating, but it's painfully obvious to everyone that Erza has the biggest crush on the boy), event he same damn tattoo as Jellal and Mystogan, the three are as different as heaven, earth, and hell.

The very fact that Lucy can distinguish who he is is reason enough. So all she does is stick her tongue out at him (because this makes her seem brave and indifferent about others' opinions, even though in reality she's a five-year-old stuck in a teenager's body) and move onwards.

Jura stops at the last cell, and once Lucy steps up to the bars, he nods towards Doranbolt. "You have thirty minutes. I'll be waiting there."

As Jura leaves, his platform sandals slapping against the floor with each step he takes, Lucy stares at her father, who's currently curled up on the bed. Her eyes sweep the cell, lip curling in disgust at what she sees-a meager attempt at providing the luxurious necessities required by a Heartfilia. A bed (nothing more than a block of stone and a threadbare blanket-not even a pillow), a sink (which Lucy doubts even has running water), and a toilet (the putrid scent makes Lucy want to faint-there is no reason for a teenager to ever find out what her father's shit smells like) are the only things that furnish the cell.

It's not like Lucy was expecting five-star accommodations, but how about a little Windex?

"Dad," Lucy finally calls out after her scathing assessment of her father's holding cell. She's still really pissed off at him, but he's not a terrible father. After all, he set her up with sex god Lyon, so props to him.

Jude shifts, mumbling something under his breath, but otherwise doesn't make a move to get up or to even acknowledge his daughter's presence. Lucy's face creases into a scowl, and she leans forward, wrapping her hands around the bars. "Wake up, you useless excuse for a father!"

Jude shifts again, his face turning towards Lucy. Her face darkens upon seeing his open mouth and closed eyes, the line of drool glistening in the dim lighting causing disgust to arise within her. "Free fucking lottery tickets!"

Jude immediately shoots up, the blanket sliding off of him and pooling onto the floor, but that doesn't matter to him. His mussed mane of blonde hair bounces around his head as he shoots towards Lucy, crazed eyes glinting with determination to get as many tickets as possible. "What? Where? What's the prize? Oh, hey, Lucy. WHERE ARE THE FREE FUCKING LOTTERY TICKETS?"

Lucy lets go of the bars, glaring at her father, even as he willfully ignores her to search for the elusive lottery tickets. "Nowhere, old man, there's no such thing as free fucking lottery tickets. Now tell me why the hell you're here."

Jude pouts, stomping his foot like a toddler throwing a tantrum. "But I want my free fucking lottery tickets!"

"Well, you can't fucking have them, you fucking maggot, because you are fucking stuck in fucking jail. Who the fucking hell believes that free fucking lottery tickets are going to be fucking handed out to fucking people like fucking you? Now fucking answer my fucking question or you're going to fucking stay here, you fucking got it?"

Jude slowly blinks at Lucy, watching as she tries and fails to control her harsh breathing. "The repetition of the word 'fucking' leaves something to be desired."

Lucy's nostrils flare, and before she can rip into her father again, he raises his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay! I got it! I got thrown in here because I couldn't pay my debts off!"

"No fucking way!" Lucy gasps in mock horror, the burning glare on her face almost reducing Jude to tears. "I fucking thought you wanted a free living space!"

Jude scowls, crossing his arms. "Well, it's all your fault!"

"How is this my fault? You're the one who gambles more money than he has!"

"If you had gone off and married Lyon, I would've been able to pay everything off! But nooooo, you just had to get hit by those falling glass windows and get stuck in the hospital with fatal wounds and miss the wedding! Lyon refused to give me the money, and now I'm stuck here, and it's all because of you! That's why you've gotta give me money and post bail while I conveniently forget the fact that you basically don't have any money since I gambles it all away! GIVE ME THE FUCKING MONEY, LUCY!"

Lucy raises her leg and slams her foot into her father's face through the bars, watching with satisfaction as he somehow flies across the cell and slams into the wall, falling and landing with his head stuck in the toilet bowl. "YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M GLAD YOU'RE STUCK HERE! ROT IN HELL, JUDE HEARTFILIA, I'M FUCKING DISOWNING YOU!"

And without any court procedures or legal documents proving/validating her bold words, Lucy storms away from her father and towards Jura and Doranbolt, who are both staring at her with shocked and (though they'll never admit it) rather terrified looks on their faces. "I want to get out of here."

Just as Jura, still in his shellshocked state, steps away from Doranbolt to lead Lucy out of the station (while sending concerned looks towards Jude's cell), the door swings open, revealing Mirajane, who seems to have recovered from her moe-induced coronary, and a blonde-haired figure.

Lucy immediately forgets all about her seething rage upon getting an eyeful of sex-on-a-stick right in front of her.

Well, then.

The guy's dark blonde hair reaches his shoulders, covering his left eye while exposing his right. Piercing yellow orbs (#orbsforlife) stare into Lucy as a full-toothed grin pulls at his lips, revealing the sharpest canines Lucy has ever seen. She practically drools at the sight of the muscles rippling under his arms and the rest of his body. Despite the fact that he's wearing the oddest outfit ever (notwithstanding Mr. It's All Right If I Wear A Bed Sheet Over A Trench Coat), consisting of fingerless gloves that reach his elbows, a beige-colored jacket tied around his waist, calf-length pants, a scarf that splits into two parts behind him, and nothing else (not that she's complaining-those abs...), Lucy is loving what she sees.

Even is he's wearing a golden cat ear headband and has attached a fake golden cat tail to his behind.

And what a nice ass that would be...

His grin stretches even wider as Lucy rather conspicuously checks him out, and he graces her with the honor of having her actions being reciprocated. That is to say, he checks her out unabashedly as well.

Mirajane, who, despite all of her self-proclaimed "Matchmaker genes," seems oblivious to the very obvious mental undressing the two blondes are subjecting each other to, cheerily exclaims, "Hi, Mest! We have another one! This little troublemaker here-Jackal, isn't that suck a cute name? I love dogs, who doesn't, you can ship them with almost anything!-was filmed breaking the speed limit by one mile per hour! Anyways, he's going to be staying here until someone posts bail, or he's going to trial. Toodles!"

Just as Mirajane is about to leave, she glances over her shoulder and sends a very conspicuous wink towards Lucy (it looks more like a rather concerning eye twitch). "You should come visit me-we can discuss ship names for Natsu and Lisanna! I'm thinking Nali, doesn't that sound so fucking cute?"

Lucy's eye twitches (and no, this is not a wink), but Mirajane doesn't seem to notice as she lets out a peal of banshee-like laughter and skips away.

Damn her to hell. Wait, she's a demon, maybe she'll actually like hell. Fine, then, damn her to heaven!

"So, your name's Lucy, huh?"

Lucy's attention is immediately drawn to Jackal, who's grin only widens even further (how his face hasn't split in half yet, Lucy isn't sure). "You're Jackal? Like the dog?"

Jackal's eyes narrow while his grin only grows. "I feel like we're going to be seeing each other very soon."

Doranbolt stands up, walking around the desk to roughly grab Jackal's arm. He doesn't like the way the delinquent's eyes are glinting down at the weak, innocent blonde (though after that kick, Doranbolt's starting to have some doubts about that). "Shut up, mangy bastard."

Jackal chuckles as Doranbolt leads him down, towards one of the cells. As he brushes past Lucy, he breathes just loud enough for her to hear, "Very, very soon, little kitty."

BOOM!

Oh, would you look at that, my ovaries just exploded.

And there we have it! Some new random characters I stuck in an even more random situation. Also, a long update for a long wait (even though I bet that half of it is just the author's notes instead of actual content).

Anyways, remember-the poll is up, so if you want to vote, go and do that now! I'm pretty sure that voting is anonymous, but I made it a live poll, so the results will be visible to you people. Please do vote, I want to see if you guys find some of these pairings to be just as funny as I do!

Yeah. Peace, see ya next time, hope you liked it!

Never (LivingDaLife)