5) Recovery

"Mom, I'm fine." While the first twenty times Rory had reassured Lorelai like this had still been quite patient, she was starting to become a teeny-weeny bit exasperated.

She got it. Her mother and all the other family members had a right to be worried. She had been seriously injured, so serious that for a while, her family had not known if she survived or not. And well remembering her visits in the hospital after Richard had had his heart attacks, she got that seeing her hooked up to all those machines hardly was reassuring.

Still, she could only take so much of hovering and ever since Rory had woken up for good and been transferred from ICU into a private room, Lorelai and other family members hadn't left her alone for even one second. They scurried anxiously around her bed whenever she moved or dared to let out a sigh, afraid she was crashing or suffering a setback.

It got tiring.

"And you better be. I tell you, kiddo, scaring your poor mama like this was not at all nice and I insist on rewriting number one rule in the Gilmore Girls rule book to say that the daughter under no circumstances is allowed to get shot again."

"I second that," echoed Christopher, having the other part of the current shift.

"Believe me, I'm all for it as well and will do my best to abide to the new rule," Rory told them, heartfelt. Getting shot sucked. Big time.

Of course, she couldn't remember all that much. There had been the rally in the stadium, the candidate already winding down on his speech. She had kept an eye on the audience, trying to gauge the general atmosphere. And, to be honest, looking for one particular face, hoping to make it out among the crowd and at the same time dreading it and also feeling stupid and ashamed to think he might have come just to see her when he had made very clear that he didn't want to see or hear anything from her anymore.

She didn't remember hearing the shots, only suddenly feeling searing pain spreading out from her stomach. After that it was blurry at best. Pain and darkness mostly. But also, if only for brief moments, happiness. Logan had been there, had held her in his arms, promising her to not leave again. And the expression in his eyes, full of fear but also and most importantly, filled with love. That, she remembered with surprising clarity. How simply seeing him and be enclosed in his embrace had calmed her, chasing away the panic she felt, filling her momentarily with relief and simple joy to be back where she belonged: in his arms.

In her heart she was convinced that moment alone had saved her, by giving her the strength to fight, for now she had a reason to live: Logan. Get back to him, cling to him, never again letting go of him again.

But the longer she was back with all marbles in her head neatly lined up yet again, the more heavy doubts started to sneak into her heart. He really had been there, at her side, hadn't he been? After she got shot but also when she had first woken up, right? It wasn't possible that she had only imagined all that, or been spun in some kind of dream world, where all was good again – or was it? If it had been a dream world, she wouldn't have just conjured him up coming to her after a year and four months of silence … For sure, in a dream world they would never have separated, him asking her at the right time and in the right way to marry him, giving her no reason to decline his proposal. They'd be married by now, maybe even with a baby on the way. She knew that. Heaven knew she was stuck in that dream world night after night for the past sixteen months, always waking up with wet tears on her face because it hurt so much not to be there anymore but back in the cold, empty world where she hadn't seen or spoken to Logan in over a year.

No, it had to be true. Sure, her memory of the first time waking up after the surgery she apparently had had was pretty fuzzy but she was certain remembering Logan being there, coaxing her to wake up, to come back to him, sensing him, feeling him.

It made her happy.

She had gone back to sleep almost immediately again though and when she next woke up with a clear head, in this private room, it had been to Lorelai and Christopher taking vigil at her bedside. That was fine, it was good to see them both, reassure them that she was alive and going to be fine, if one could believe the doctor that had examined her shortly after. Well, most likely fine. There was apparently some uncertainty about her ability to have children with all the scarring the bullet wound and its removal and the damage control had left her with. But nothing was for sure yet and Rory was fine to wait and find out with time. That or the drugs they were giving her mellowed her out completely. Time would tell. Besides, if she had imagined it all, it didn't matter anymore anyway. Logan was the only one for her, she knew that now more than ever, so if he wasn't back in her life, there would also be no children in her future. And if he was back and they reconsiled, like she feverishly hoped … Well, even then she wasn't that worried. They would be happy either way, there she had no doubts, as she was certain that together, they would find a solution anyway. Together they could do and face whatever life threw at them.

Now, if she just could be certain finally that she hadn't imagined him being here! The doctor had cleared her for visitors, limiting it to only two at a time though. So while Lorelai stayed, the second rotated, first Luke, then her grandmother, her grandfather and she thought next would be Logan. Instead, it was Christopher again.

Where was he? Hadn't he promised to not leave her again? Had it just been the shock of her possible immediate death and he had changed his mind already? Or was she just too high from the drugs and was now clinging to a fantasy?

"Hey, you sure you're alright? You're looking a bit tired, maybe you should try to sleep a little again," Lorelai worried, smoothing away some of Rory's sticky hair. She wasn't sure how long it had been since it had been washed but it definitely was entirely too long and was high on her list to do, once she felt up to it.

As a fact, she was tired, exhausted even and she longed for a nap - but she couldn't, not yet. "Yes Mom, I'm fine, really," she reassured Lorelai yet another time. Hesitating, looking from her parents to the door and back again, she took a deep breath. She needed certainty. "Mom, where's Logan? He's here, isn't he?" she asked, hating how needy and unsure her question sounded.

Lorelai's face closed off and when she obviously wasn't going to answer, Christopher squeezed the hand he had been holding ever since coming back. "Yes, he's outside. He's been here all the time. I think he's waiting for a chance to be alone with you," he told her, glancing shortly at Lorelai who still said nothing. "Want me to send him in, Sweety?"

She almost burst into tears, so happy was she to hear it hadn't been a dream while inwardly, she rolled her eyes at such embarrassing neediness. It had to be the drugs, she concluded, nodding vigorously. "Yes, please."

Christopher smiled. "Okay then, I'll go get him." He stepped away from her bed and looked at his ex-wife. "Lorelai?" Not showing any signs of wanting to leave her daughter's bedside as well, his glance sharpened, the unspoken urging to come with him ringing through the room. To no avail. In the end, he shook his head and left with a sigh.

"Mom," Rory started but was immediately interrupted by Lorelai.

"I almost lost you. I'm not leaving you anytime soon," she stated, resolute.

"Please, Mom..." Rory attempted again.

"Whatever Logan wants to say, he can say in front of me," Lorelai pointed out, her face still closed off.

Obviously, while waiting for her to pull through surgery and wake up, something must have happened between Lorelai and Logan. Or not. They hadn't talked about Logan since her refusal of his proposal, the absence of him in their almost daily conversations always noticeably and weighing heavy and heavier. She couldn't tell Lorelai how much she missed Logan, how painful it was to be apart of him, not when she knew how little Lorelai thought of him and especially her and Logan being together. So maybe this was all about the old animosity between her mother and best friend and the man her heart had chosen to love and who she was certain was the only one and big love for her. There was no other way she could explain to herself why even after more than a year of zero contact, not to mention the bad way they had separated, she still longed for him so much it hurt much worse than a gunshot wound to the stomach. Something she would have said carelessly before, but now knew with first-hand experience. Her heart had been dying every day a little bit more, the longer she was away from him, instead of healing and the pain of their separating lessening like it was supposed to do and like everyone expected it from her.

He was here now, though, just a closed door away, and they were going to see each other again. Talk. For real this time, not some hushed words she could barely remember through the fog of pain and confusion. Of course it made her nervous, who wouldn't be, with their history? But mostly, she just cared about seeing him again, her heart filled with hope that maybe, just maybe, they could overcome her refusal to his proposal and his refusal to work it out instead of just walking away, putting an end to her unhappy misery.

They needed privacy for that though. Not to mention that the last thing she wanted was to have Lorelai hovering over both of them, her disapproval of Logan tainting everything, when Rory could finally see Logan again and have a chance to talk to him. She just wanted to be alone with him. That wasn't too much to ask, now, was it?

"But I can't. Please, Mom, just let us have a moment to talk. After all, he saved my life, didn't he?" she asked, challenging. If the little she remembered was accurate, that much was the truth. "I just want to talk to him. Thank him. It's the least I owe him. You owe him."

She expected more protest; still, Lorelai's next words were flooring her on more levels than the Empire State Building had stories. "So what limo-boy said is true? You're back together and happily engaged?"

What?!

Admitted, the time since she had been shot wasn't the best accounted in her head but she would remember putting a happy end to her pain and longing of the last year, wouldn't she?

Luckily, she was saved from reacting or worse, having to answer, by Logan walking in. Seeing him immediately sent her heart in overdrive - thank God it wasn't hooked up to a heart monitor anymore! She looked him over, closely. Apart from looking exhausted and a little worse for wear, he didn't seem to have changed much. The hair had a slightly darker color and she thought he had lost a couple pounds or so. No, from the outside he was definitely still the same guy she had fallen in love with four years ago, or perhaps rather had lusted for. Falling in love had come a little while later and that had only to do with the inside of this exquisite package. And one look into his grey-green eyes and she knew that while he maybe had acquired some more experience and maturity, it definitely was still the same man who had claimed her heart as his only - and had crushed it completely by walking away from her, bringing down all bridges behind him that connected him with her.

She knew all that, remembered it very well, being painfully aware of it every second of the past sixteen months. Still, she couldn't help her heart making a joyous jump while she greeted him with a warm and blinding smile. "Logan. Hey."

"Hey," he replied softly, eyes never leaving her, roaming over her as he quickly stepped forward to take her hand into his.

His touch was like a bold of electricity that shot through her entire being, firing up nerves and parts of her that had died down with him walking away from her - and her letting him, for that matter. And by God, she loved to have his eyes roaming over her again - although she worried a bit about her looks. She had to be a dreadful sight, after days of lying in a hospital bed.

Like so often, he seemed to know exactly what she was thinking. "You look beautiful."

Embarrassed, but also ridiculously relieved, she laughed, touching some of the sticky, way darker curls framing her probably still very pale face. "Hardly."

He shrugged though, deadly serious, despite the small smile his face sported. "Alive and awake, Ace. Believe me, after the past couple of days, that's the most beautiful sight I've ever seen in my life."

"Logan." His tone may have been light but the emotions in his eyes told another story altogether and it nearly chocked her. For the first time it occurred to her how hard it must have been for him, seeing her getting shot, waiting for ages to have word on her. Only too well she remembered how terrifying and horrible it had been when Logan had had his accident, she having no idea if he was going to make it or not and no one telling her either, hiding behind stupid hospital rules. At such times, disputes or fights did not count anymore. Then things had been bad between them as well, their relationship on the brick of ending. She had been so mad at him. But then Colin had called with the terrible news and she forgot it all, only being reminded of how much she loved him. How much she needed him. As tragic as it was, his accident had probably saved their relationship. Well, for another year at least. Moreover, she remembered how her anxiety had only started to fade once she was allowed to see him finally, him being awake, thank God, and mustering up a smile for her. With that in mind, she squeezed his hand and gave him her best, brightest, and most reassuring smile she had in her. "I'm okay. I'll be fine."

To her dismay, his smile faltered and more desperation showed up in his eyes. Bending forward, he put his forehead against her and she could feel his breath, heavy and ragged, on her face. For a long while he stayed like this, not moving, his heart beating so loud even she could hear it. Or maybe it was her own heart. Right now she wasn't sure anymore what was him and what was her, not to mention that his palpable turmoil affected her deeply as well.

Finally, he took a deep breath, still didn't move though, apparently needing her to be close as much as she needed to feel his touch, anchoring her in this life. "You better," he told her in a rough voice. And then he kissed her, rough and demanding, devouring her whole being within an instant. Claiming her, marking her.

Not that she minded. Not at all. In fact, she reciprocated his kiss with no less desperation or determination.

Maybe, just maybe, her close call with death, as unpleasant and painful as it was, would be a savior for their relationship yet again. For that, she decided, grabbing Logan's shirt to pull him further down, urging him to deepen their kiss and take even more of her, getting shot was almost worth it.

With slight desperation and definitely a lot of exasperation Lorelai watched how she and the rest of the world simply vanished from the moment on that Logan stepped into her daughter's room. Their eyes had instantly sought each other out and she was pretty certain that neither of them remembered that she was still there, standing right beside them. Otherwise they would hardly engage in such a hot, all consuming kiss right now. Logan may be open to public display of pretty much everything but Rory was far too shy and self-conscious for that. Usually.

Like with so many other things, for that impossible boy, she seemed to have no problem to make exceptions. Time and time again.

It made her a tad bit jealous, as Lorelai had to admit uncomfortably. How many years had she tried to coax her daughter out of her studious shell, risk just a bit more, engage more into social activities? But no, Rory had almost always insisted on studying first, second and third. Yet, the moment Logan had walked into her life, she went out to get drunk, go to wild parties, jump off scaffolds and engage into a non-string relationship, making new friends left and right or so it seemed. Not to mention her sudden decision to drop out of Yale to do nothing for a while.

What power had this boy over her girl?

That question had always puzzled her - if not downright frightened her. Threatened her. Up until him coming alone, Lorelai had always been, without doubt, the most important person in Rory's life. And while Dean and Jess sure had diverted at least some of that focus on them, she had been confident that she was still number one.

Quietly watching them kiss now, remembering her baby's anxiety to see her ex-boyfriend (and she was sure he was still her ex, them not having met or even talked once since Rory's graduation), Lorelai had no illusions to where her place now was.

Of course, technically she had known that for Rory's sake, that day had to come eventually. Probably, she could be lucky it had lasted so long. Still... Never in a million years had Lorelai imagined that her place would be taken over by a guy like Logan. Rich, arrogant, careless high-society heir Logan Elias Huntzberger, his family being dear friends with her parents. He wasn't good enough for her baby, never could be. Not someone having grown up like he had (and Lorelai, a long time ago), learning to appreciate nothing else than the power his money and status in this blue-blooded society gave him.

But there he was, all but devouring her daughter right in front of her, claiming her as his, binding her to him for good now probably. Because Rory didn't look as if she minded this clear caveman slash typical rich behavior of someone who simply took what he thought belonged to him in the slightest. Actually, if anything, she welcomed it with her whole heart - and clearly staked her own claim on this boy.

Well, at least that, Lorelai thought sourly, still observing them. Maybe it was good that the kids didn't remember her presence in the room. It gave her, after all, her very first opportunity to watch them be together. Rory had accused her time and time again that she didn't really know Logan. That she had no idea how he was when it was just the two of them. How different he was then than when he put up his defenses and masks in the presence of others.

Having watched him come into the room, eyes only for Rory, his obvious devotion to her and his distress over what had happened, them almost losing Rory, and now the desperation and hunger and thirst with which he was kissing her daughter... Yeah, for the first time Lorelai had the impression that Rory hadn't been so far off with that. This for sure wasn't the same arrogant boy that had brought her daughter home late at night and drunk as hell. Nor was it the maybe embarrassed, but overall way too cocky boy she had caught making out with her daughter in a dressing room or the carefree, hardly worried, almost proud of his action guy who had landed her baby in jail. He had nothing to do with the blind, ignorant guy who had come to ask her for Rory's hand and then had gone along to be so stupid to think Rory would appreciate a proposal in front of a bunch of her grandparent's friends during a party at her grandparents. If at all, he had maybe some similarity with the determined boy that had come to face the lioness to ask for help in winning her daughter back or the clearly in love guy who had invited his girlfriend's mother and boyfriend to a Valentine weekend just so he could be with her. And there definitely was a bit of the ballsy guy who had confronted the mother of his girlfriend in her own kitchen late at night about her opinion of him.

Still, none of those times he had allowed her to see past what he had wanted her to see, as she now recognized, seeing the deep love and raw need for Rory in Logan's eyes - hell, his whole body. And for the first time, Lorelai began to understand why her usually so sensible daughter just couldn't move on with her life and forget her old college sweetheart. Being loved and wanted like that, it wasn't easy to let go of such a thing. Especially when you so obviously felt exactly the same way.

Lorelai sighed.

Okay, so Logan. Logan Elias Huntzberger from THE Huntzbergers. Rich trust-fund kid and heir. Of course, and that much was in his favor, he had had the courage to stand up to his father and the family's expectations and made his own decisions, following his own path. Something that wasn't easy at all, as Lorelai knew only too well. But she also knew that no matter how much you tried, you couldn't deny your heritage. And at one point, it was going to catch up with you.

Fact was, nothing in the world was going to change that Logan was the only son and therefore heir to a very rich and powerful family. Adding to that his choice to marry a not unimportant heiress of an old, wealthy, blue-blooded family, no matter if she wanted such a position or not, it was inevitable that those two were bound to be at least tied up with the Upper Class for the rest of their lives, if they wanted to or not. You couldn't escape something like that, like she knew only too well. Well, she guessed, it was at least something that they both had proved so far that they didn't want to rest on the wealth of their families, working hard on their own careers.

Most important, it was undeniable that he loved Rory very much. Something Lorelai could only congratulate him on. And he cared for her, that much was obvious after the past couple days. But even while they still had been together, no matter what Lorelai had thought of him, she had never been able to deny him that, hearing it from too many sides too for it not to be true. He cared for her safety, her health and her career. Sure, there had been hitches, like the grand theft or this ridiculous proposal, but then again, the guy having grown up as he had and after having met the Huntzbergers, even Lorelai had to admit that he was allowed to make mistakes while figuring out what love was, experiencing it for seemingly the first time.

He could definitely care more for her daughter's heart though. Way too many times he had already broken her heart, hurting her baby really bad. Then again, the fact that he had such power over Rory's heart was telling in itself.

She couldn't deny either the truly marvelous way he had handled this crisis. Seeing to it that Rory got the help she so desperately needed, getting her the best care, thinking of calling them and keeping them well informed. Even lying and fighting with everything he had to be able to stay at Rory's side, as he had apparently promised her before she lost consciousness, had actually given him quite some points in her book. Also, as Lorelai knew with a heavy and yes, scared and slightly offended heart, he had ultimately been the one who had led Rory out of the darkness she had been stuck in, calling relentlessly for her to come back to him, giving her the will to fight for her life.

For her love.

Okay - so it was going to be Logan. Oh hell, Lorelai figured at last, it could be worse. He continued to love her baby like this and not having such ridiculous ideas again like demanding her to give up her dreams for him, she guessed she could get used to him as Rory's chosen one. And maybe, eventually, with a lot of time, she could learn to love him as a son.

Yeah, maybe.

TBC!

Authors Note: Yeah, you saw right. An update. And no, not the last chapter. As promised, there will be another one coming, the epilogue.

I know it's been years – but as I always said, I do intend to finish all my WIP. So don't lose hope with my stories, even if there hadn't been any updates for years. And yes, this counts not only for this story, but also for my other GG-Stories as well as the ones in other fandoms. My main focus are my own novels right now (sadly not yet published, but I'm working on it), but in-between I always love to come back to my beloved fanfiction, where all began.

Honestly, I am so very much touched that I still get reviews almost weekly. They always are a pleasure to me – and a reminder that hey, there is yet something to finish! So please, never stop! In fact, it was a PM that gave me the motivation to turn back to my GG stories first, as apparently, there is a revival coming! I hadn't heard about that yet, so thanks for that – and God, do I hope that the rumors are true that Rory and Logan finally get their happy ending! But now I really want to try to get my different happy Endings for them out there before they are influenced by (please, please, please) a real one. After STH I think I'll start with Curveball. Then hopefully in September Different. But I've learned not to make any promises. So just be patient and let me surprise you …

On that last note, I hope you enjoyed this new chapter, even if it wasn't beta-ed and I'm still not native speaking here.