The impromptu Christmas party is going well until a phone call threatens to ruin the mood. Again, Dean has a hard time controlling his anger. Cas tries to sooth him, but it doesn't go so well. Eventually he mellows, and the party continues until they all pass out.

Songs in this chapter

Wanted Dead or Alive - Bon Jovi - M/L: Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora

You are my sunshine - M/L: Credited to Jimmie Davis and Charles Mitchell (Subject of some controversy)

Friends are always welcome

"Nice place." Gwen rolled her eyes as she helped Castiel lift the bag up on the table. She looked at the poorly drawn tree on the wall. "That's just… Who's the artist?" Sam noticed that her eyes watered up, and he felt very self conscious. "I did that. We had a bit of fun." He smiled to her. He knew that it wasn't the drawing itself that made her tear up, she was feeling sorry for them in general.

It was very uncomfortable, and glancing at Dean, Sam noticed that his brother also looked a little embarrassed. He did his best to hide it by joking about when they closed their eyes and tried to pin the decorations on the tree.

Kevin clapped his hands and panned the room. "Let's dig in." He opened the bag before he turned to Sam. "It's kind of boring hanging with the old folks on a night like this. We wanted to be with our friends."

Everything in the bag was wrapped, although most of the items were easily recognizable. A bottle of vodka left from the party at Ianto's, and the unmistakable shape of a football were two of those. "Thought maybe we could go out and toss a ball around." Kevin shrugged. "Sorry, but it's a regift. I got it for Christmas last year, but it has never been used."

They unwrapped a tin of cookies and then a twelve pack of beer which Ianto hurried to stick in the fridge. "The vodka is from the party, but Gwen manage to get Rhiannon to buy the beer for us."

Most of the presents weren't marked. "It's like. We will all share these." Gwen ripped the paper of a carton of cranberry juice before she dug into the bag again. "This is for you though." She handed out a couple of packages with Sam and Dean's name written with marker on the outside. They contained t-shirts and some toiletries. "Yes, I know. Not very inventive." She laughed as she opened the vodka bottle and gestured for Ianto to get glasses.

They all got a good laugh when Dean unwrapped a small angel, and hurried to stand up in front of the drawing of the tree. He closed his eyes and tried to hit the top, but missed by almost a foot.

They didn't have enough seating for so many visitors, but Gwen sat on her knees at the table as she started to mix drinks. "I was going for 'Sex on the beach' but I don't have…" She paused when the boys were unable to cover up a chuckle. "Oh, come on." She sighed and shook her head. "What can I expect from a group of tossers?"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Dean was pretty much been pleasantly surprised by the visit. He had joked about their crappy living conditions to Gwen. She was clearly not aware of how bad it really was, but she handled it fine. With Gwen knowing, it was probably inevitable that Ianto had an idea as well. Kevin was also more or less informed through tidbits from both Sam and Dean.

That Castiel was standing in their sorry excuse for a home was a little more disturbing. If there was one person he didn't want any pity from, it was him. Dean tried to take it in the stride, and he made a few jokes as they unwrapped the items in the bag.

Even if they kind of knew what almost everything was before they took the paper off, it was kind of fun to pretend. The t-shirt and the deodorant was all Gwen, and he was happy about that. He didn't want to be in any debts to Castiel either.

When Ianto started looking for glasses, Dean had to help him. They didn't have more than five, and two of them were dirty, so he had to dig deep into the cupboard and managed to find a few plastic cups.

He'd rather have a beer, but when Gwen mixed those 'not-quite-sex-on-the-beach-but-close drinks, he had to take one. It wasn't bad, but a little too sticky for his taste.

The bag was empty now, but there was still one present left. It was a simple and quite fat envelope. Kevin reached for it. "And then this. It's for you." He threw a peek at Dean as he handed it to Sam. "I know how it's been for you lately, so we had a… a… we made a little, er… just take it."

Sam opened the envelope and Dean could see that it contained a stack of bills. Sam ran his finger over the money. "We, er, I can't take this." Dean couldn't see much it was, but from the quick glimpse, he knew that it was at least a few twenties in there. "How…?" Sam sounded both embarrassed and also a little angry, but he managed to stay calm. "What do you think you're doing?"

Castiel leaned over and looked at him. "It's what friends are for. This is not charity. This is to make sure that you'll stay in Lima and that Dean can be a part of New Directions. The faint blush that appeared on his cheek was quite cute. "It's selfish really. We don't want to lose you."

Their friends obviously knew more about their situation than Dean was aware of. Kevin revealed that he had done a little research after Sam had complained about their father's whereabouts and that they hoped he would come before the rent was due. It was supposed to be a secret that they lived there alone, so Dean got a little annoyed with his brother.

After making a couple of calls and pulling in a few favors, Kevin had decided to try to make this Christmas memorable for the Winchester brothers. He had tried to get more of their friends to join, but Ianto, Gwen, and Castiel were the only ones that managed to get away from their families.

Sam looked at the money again. "But I… No, this is not right." He knew they needed the money, and it pained Dean to watch as Sam pushed the envelope into Castiel's hand. The guy shook his head. "Look at it as pay for your services. Mr Evans needs an assistant, and we convinced him that you were it. It's basically slave labor, and there's really no money in it, so we figured we could…"

Dean wasn't interested in charity either, but he could live with that. Sam still didn't look convinced. "Mr Evans needed an assistant, yeah right? You invented that position, didn't you?" Again he ran his finger over the money, and this time he seemed to actually try to count it.

"Mr Evans is very unorganized, and he frequently misplaces things." Kevin shook his head. "You all know that he has another job because 'Choir Director' doesn't pay much, right?" Dean kind of knew, but he'd never thought much of it. He remembered that Charlie had offered to organized the sheet music music for him, but the girl had too many balls in the air as it was so it fell through.

"He's right. Sam Evans probably needs you. He tries to do everything himself, but you know…" Dean wanted to give his brother a good reason to accept the money, because he couldn't bare to see them slip out of their hands. Charity or not, in a week or so they could be out on the streets sleeping in the car.

"It must be almost three hundred dollars in here, that's… a lot." Sam was still holding on to it as he looked at the others. "Actually, it's three hundred and eighty. You're lousy at counting." Gwen pretended to be annoyed before she smiled widely. "You will also be our roadie for regionals. That is really slave labor. Brad is going to bust your ass."

With that money they would be covered for another month, and hopefully their dad would show up or send a check before January was over. As if on cue, Dean's phone emitted the ringtone he used for when Mr Winchester called.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Merry Christmas, son. I'm sorry I couldn't be there, but I got this job…" Dean had withdrawn into the little alcove before he picked up. He wanted to yell and scream, but managed to keep it down knowing that his friends were keenly listening in. "Merry Christmas to you too, I guess." He clenched his teeth for a second. "We will be on the streets next month if…"

He could hear his dad clear his throat so he paused for a moment to let the man deliver his lame excuse. "They would pay almost double if we could work over the holidays, so I figured it would be okay. I sent a check to cover you for a couple of weeks. You should have it in good time before the rent is due."

It wasn't only the money. Their dad had left him and Sam to fend for themselves. They had to lie and fake his signature on a regular basis because they didn't want anybody to know that they were on their own. Social services could come at any time if the truth was revealed. That Dean was eighteen and technically and adult would probably not mean thing. He wasn't cut out to be his brothers guardian, and he was pretty sure the authorities would agree.

"I'm busy." Dean had so much more to say, but he didn't want to say it with his friends present. "We have company." Daddy John sighed audibly. "Okay, but I'll be there soon. We can spend some quality time together, and you can tell me what's going on with you guys. It'll be fun."

Dean couldn't take it any longer. "You don't care what's going on with us. If you did, you would have been here and acted like a parent." He drew his breath. "Just make sure that we have money for rent. That's all I really care about." He knew he was loud, and it didn't surprise him when Sam entered and tried to shush him. "I'm sorry you feel like that, but I'm out here trying to make some money for all of us." Mr Winchester's voice sounded a bit sad, and against his will, Dean felt tears building up in his eyes.

He peeked through the curtain and saw that the others did their best to pretend not to be listening in. "Yeah, well. Make sure that it will cover the rent, I'm not leaving Lima." He felt that he was about to crack, and he had to rub his eyes. They hadn't had a normal family life since their mom died, but for the most part they had at least had daddy around. He knew he had to end this conversation. He could handle the fact that the guys in there felt sorry for them because of their living conditions. He had also decided that they could accept the money even if it was some kind of charity. What he couldn't do was to cry in front of them. "Dad, I… See you soon, I got to go." He hung up and threw the phone on the bed.

It was pretty clear that Sam had noticed the glazed look in his eyes, and he was about to say something. Dean didn't let him. He struggled hard to compose himself as he pushed his brother away. "Don't. Don't you dare." He turned away while he clandestinely wiped his eyes again.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Dark skies and dark minds

The call from Mr Winchester, and Dean's reaction to it, put a little damper on the party. As soon as Sam was back, he went and put on some music in an attempt to liven up things a bit. Dean stayed behind in that little closet of a bedroom, and Sam explained that he was a bit angry and frustrated at the moment, but that he'd come around shortly.

It took more than a few minutes before Dean emerged. Castiel threw quick peeks at the curtain, hoping that the guy wouldn't stay in there forever, but then he finally came out. He didn't come over, he just walked straight to the door. "I need something from the car. I'll be back soon." He turned to them briefly. "I'm fine by the way."

Dean didn't look fine, but if he needed a little bit of alone time to settle down after the conversation with his father, Castiel could understand. He had never experienced this kind of abandonment. His father had been around all his life, but there were some similarities between them regardless.

The lack of understanding, and the almost complete disregard of his son's feelings had a very familiar ring to it. Being the youngest child, Castiel had been pampered and coddled by the whole family after his mother died, but he always felt that they did it out of duty, not because they really cared about how he felt.

Castiel didn't for a moment think that his dad didn't love him, but the man was quite unable to show any real emotions. Mr Winchester probably loved his sons very much, but he too obviously had a hard time facing reality and seeing what they really needed.

Gwen handed him another drink. "Come on Cas. Where were you? Lost in space or something?" She lifted her glass for a toast. Cas shook his head and smiled at her. "I was just thinking about what my dad would say if he saw me now." He took a sip. He'd had a couple of her concoctions already, and started to feel a little buzzed. The rest of the boys had gone for the beer instead, but Castiel didn't like the taste of it.

"...another place where the faces are so cold

I drive all night just to get back home…"

Kevin and Ianto were singing along with Jon Bon Jovi, and almost competed on who could be the loudest when they hit the chorus.

"I'm a cowboy

on a steel horse I ride

I'm wanted

Dead or alive."

Sam tried to get Gwen to play another round of 'pin the decoration on the tree'. The younger Winchester had done his best to try to make them forget about the phone call, and he'd succeeded somewhat.

When almost twenty minutes had gone by without Dean coming back, Castiel started to get a little antsy. The guy was angry when he left, and Cas wondered if he'd gone and done something stupid. He wasn't that drunk, so if he'd taken the car for a ride it would probably be okay, but Castiel really wanted to check.

Gwen was blindfolded and Sam was twirling her around before she lifted the little angel and tried to get it closer to the top of the tree than Dean had managed. Ianto had grabbed Dean's guitar, while Kevin was busy searching for some music on his Ipod.

Castiel seized the moment and snuck out. They would probably notice very shortly, but he just didn't want any awkward questions.

The hall was dark and gloomy. There was a ceiling lamp a floor up, but the light it emitted didn't reach very far. Castiel flicked a switch on the wall, but nothing happened. He looked up and noticed that the lamp on this floor didn't even have a bulb.

He just shrugged. He could still see where he was going. The front door was only half a flight down, and through the little window next to it, he could see that a street lamp lit up part of the stoop outside.

A door slammed shut somewhere upstairs, and then he could hear the sound of someone coming down. Castiel rushed to the front door and hurried outside. He couldn't see Dean anywhere, and suddenly he felt very alone and vulnerable. This neighborhood had a bad reputation.

He sighed in relief when he laid eyes on the Impala and saw Dean sitting in the driver's seat. He was too scared to even think about what the guy would say when he ran over to the car and jumped into the passenger seat. "Hi. I, er, we wondered where you were. Sorry, I…"

He looked back at the house and saw an older man come out the door. He headed towards a car parked in the shadow of the building, and Cas saw the little flash of light indicating that he unlocked with a remote. He did not look like someone who'd live in a place like that.

Dean had turned his head, and now he followed Castiel's line of view. "Oh. Did he scare you? He's harmless." He looked away again. "I guess the hookers are working through the holidays as well." He lifted his hand and took a sip from a bottle of whiskey. "So they sent you out to look for me, eh?"

There was probably no point in lying. "No, I kind of decided myself. I think maybe I was the only one worrying." He swallowed and waited for Dean's response, but nothing happened. "I just… I was a little bit bored, so I…" With a small chuckle he dared to look at Dean. "It's just that we came to hang out with you guys, and I didn't want you to be alone."

Dean cocked his head. "I'm not alone. I'm with my friend 'Jack Daniels'." He shook the bottle before he took another sip. "Technically Rita's friend, but she let me have it."

Castiel wondered who Rita was, but didn't ask. He worried that it could be a girlfriend, and he really didn't want to know. "Your 'friend' can join the party as well you know." He pointed to the bottle. "Maybe someone else in there will like him."

It took a little while before Dean said anything. Cas waited patiently, but was not prepared for what came. "It's a pity that John couldn't be here. Where is he? In Waikiki or something? He could probably have kept you company, so you wouldn't have to be so bored." The sudden change of topic and the hint of acid in Dean's voice surprised Cas greatly, and he had no idea how to respond.

"A pity party is not my idea of a good time, so you can shove your concern somewhere where the sun won't shine." Dean put the bottle to his mouth and gulped down a good amount. "You and Gwen and Kevin and everybody else can leave me the fuck alone, and go on with your lives. I'm done." He slammed his fist into the dashboard.

Castiel reacted on pure instinct. He was hurt and quite pissed off, but he knew that Dean was feeling much worse. He scooted over and wrapped his arm around Dean's neck. "You are making me very angry. I want to punch you, but I know I wouldn't stand a chance in a fight with you." Dean scoffed and tried to push him away, but Cas held on. "I may have a big family and a nice house, but you know nothing. We all have our struggles, even if they can be a little different."

Dean grabbed Castiel's wrist and forced his arm away. "Don't… If you're trying to make me feel better, that is not the way. Save it for someone who cares." He pushed Cas and reached for the door handle. "Save it for…" The end of the sentence got cut off when the door slammed shut. Cas got out as well and he ran around the car when it looked like Dean was about to fall over. He was obviously seriously drunk after spending some time alone with 'Mr Daniels'.

Not quite ready to accept any help, Dean held onto the sideview mirror as he struggled to find his footing. Cas hesitated for a split second before he grabbed him and pulled him into an embrace. "You are the most stupid and stubborn person I have ever met. Don't you understand that I like you…" He instantly regretted his words. "WE like you, but you're not making it very easy for us."

Dean was holding on to the car with one hand and he still had the bottle in the other so he didn't really reciprocate the embrace. The sound of the bottle smashing into the ground and shatter, startled Castiel for a second, but then he had Dean's hand on his cheek. "Oh, Choirboy. You have no idea how little it means to me right now to be liked by everybody else."

Castiel started trembling. Dean's lips were inches from his, and the urge to close the gap was overwhelming. Dean's fingers caressed the skin on his neck before he pulled his hand away quite abruptly. "It's okay. I'm okay. Let's join the others. I'm sure they are wondering what we are up to." Another weird change in Dean's mood didn't surprise Castiel any less than the first time it happened. He let go of Dean and even if he felt somewhat relieved, he was also disturbingly disappointed.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

They hadn't planned how to get home. When they went to pick up Kevin and Castiel to go to the Winchesters, Gwen and Ianto never really decided on who would be the designated driver. She knew that she couldn't do it, and when she looked at her cousin, she realized that he should probably not get behind a wheel any time soon. Ianto was still holding Dean's guitar, but he was more cuddling it than actually playing, and his head was bobbing as he tried to stay awake.

Kevin was still reasonably alert, but not in any state to drive. Regardless, the guy didn't even have a licence. He and Sam had come up with another stupid game, and wanted the rest of them to participate. "I'll just name a state, and you have to make a rhyme or sing a song with it's Nickname."

Gwen didn't know what he was talking about. *Nickname? I don't even know what that means." She shook her head. "You Americans are so strange." She looked at Ianto, but he didn't seem to be very aware of what was going on around him. In between dozing off, he was still trying to strum the guitar.

"FLORIDA." Kevin shouted it out. "That one should be easy. Any takers?" Sam was about to say something, but Kevin shushed him. "No, not you. Sorry, but you will get a harder one."

Dean had barely been able to stand on his feet when he and Castiel came inside, but he seemed to have gotten a second wind. "I know, I know. Er… I can do this one." He cleared his throat.

"You are my sunshine

my only sunshine

You make me happy

when skies are gray…"

He paused. "Do I have to sing the whole song or…?"

"You never know dear

how much I love you…"

Gwen noticed the look he gave Castiel as he sang the lines, and she got very intrigued by it. She was a faghag at heart, and found it very interesting. Nobody else seemed to have noticed, not even Castiel himself. It could of course just be her own vivid imagination playing tricks on her, but she still remembered what happened at the party. She didn't believe John's explanation for a second.

"That's just silly. Some of the states have really weird nicknames." Castiel threw his hands out and sighed. "I mean, how can you come up with something for 'The Mount Rushmore state' for instance?" He was sitting in the only chair in the apartment and seemed almost sober.

"Oh, I know. I know this one. It's Dakota." Gwen smiled widely when she realized that she finally thought she'd understood the concept. Kevin cocked his head and gave her a crooked smile. "Well, yeah, sort of. There's two Dakota's though."

The whole game fell apart after that, and Gwen didn't learn which Dakota Kevin was talking about. Not that she cared so much; the concept was stupid anyway.

Shortly after that, Sam just vanished. Gwen didn't even notice before Dean pulled away the curtain covering their sleeping quarters to fetch a blanket for Kevin. The guy had suddenly just keeled over on the floor and passed out.

Gwen could see Sam in the bottom bunk. He was completely out, and didn't even react when his brother almost stepped on him to reach the shelf above the top bunk.

"If you guys planned to spend the night here, you made a bad decision." Dean draped the blanket over Kevin before he slumped back down on the couch next to Ianto. "I don't care. If you can make yourself comfortable, it's okay with me." He nodded towards Kevin. "That was my only spare blanket."

"Maybe I'll just sit here till I sober up enough to drive." Gwen threw a peek at Ianto. "He can not get us home." Ianto had fallen asleep with the guitar clenched to his chest. It could look like he was trying to get some warmth from it, but that was of course never going to happen.

Castiel threw a peek at Dean before he addressed Gwen. "I kind of...I, I brought a bag. I knew where we were going, and I was afraid that the apartment would be too cold." He looked a little embarrassed. "I didn't know. Sorry Dean, but I've heard a little too much about these buildings, and I didn't count on that you had central heating."

Gwen hadn't even thought about it. With six bodies emitting heat as they sang and fooled around, the temperature had been quite acceptable. In the middle of the night, when sleep was about to catch up with them it didn't feel so warm and cozy anymore. Castiel got up from the chair. "It's only two small blankets, but I left it in the car. Do you have the keys?"

"Are you sure you want to go and get them yourself"? Dean chuckled a little as Gwen got up to dig the car keys out of her pocket. "I mean… that old man scared you earlier, and there could be other old men out there."

He was obviously referring to something that happened when Cas went out to find Dean. "Why don't you go with him then, if you are so concerned?" She immediately got an image in her head of the two boys huddled together in the cold, 'accidentally' touching each other. She had to look away for a second, because it was almost a bit arousing to think of.

"Come to think of it, I have a blanket in my car. I'll get that one as well." Dean got up and headed for the door. "Give me the keys, I'll get yours." Reluctantly, Gwen handed him the keys as she threw a peek at Cas. The pleasant pictures in her head got shattered when the boy nodded but stayed seated.

"Are you a poofter?" As soon as Dean was out the door, Gwen scooted over to Castiel and blurted out the question. "I mean, like... are you gay?" Cas stared at her for the longest time, and she wondered if she'd even get an answer before Dean was back. "Uh, I, no. No I am not. That's very rude. Why do you even…"

Gwen sighed. "Okay, okay. But I'll tell you that Dean likes you. I think he does anyway. I mean 'like you', like you." She shrugged. "I've seen the looks he sends you, so if you're not interested, you should probably tell him."

Castiel stared at her with his adorable blue eyes. "Dean is not, er, gay. You're making this up." Until tonight she hadn't been too sure, but the signs were piling up. That Castiel denied that he was gay was just silly. She didn't believe him for a second, but decided not to pursue it. He was probably just not ready to come out yet.

"Forget it then. Sorry. I'm just… If you want to…" She wasn't quite sure how to put it and before she had managed to come up with anything, Dean was back.

"You can take my bed if you want." He looked at Gwen. "I can be a gentleman if I want to, and since you're the only girl, I figured…" He just pointed to the alcove and shrugged. "The rest of us can rough it out here."