"Sam," Jet spotted his boyfriend at the entrance to the hospital, phone in hand and eyes downcast. He couldn't read whatever Sam's expression was; it was too neutral to really know. "Sam!" he said again, stronger and a little louder. This time Sam looked up, surprise in his face and an immediate switch to something more upbeat the moment he saw who it was.

"It's alright," he said and waved his phone a little, "They're going to let me write everything next week, I just need to get my assignments in and I'll have a little time to study-"

"Not that," Jet said as he reached Sam's side, pushing the phone away and using that as an excuse to hold Sam's wrist. "Bobby said you were feeling useless, is that true?"

Sam's eyes widened, just a little but Jet noticed it. There was a moment where Sam glanced away then back again, his expression shifted subtly but Jet recognized it. He knew in that split second that Sam was about to lie to him.

"No, I-"

"Shut up and tell me the truth."

Sam's arm twitched, a small tug to realize that Jet wasn't letting go. It wouldn't have been a problem for Sam to pull away and they both knew it. He'd pull Jet right to the ground but it was entirely possible.

"Alright, fine." Sam conceded, his shoulders slipped down, as did his head.

"So then?"

He was quiet for a few seconds before nodding shallowly. Jet pulled lightly on Sam's arm and led him forward into a hug. It was awkward, he'd hugged Desirae easily with one arm and when in bed it was a good excuse to just side-hug. But that moment called for a real, two-armed embrace and he couldn't give it. Instead he squeezed as hard as he could with just one and pressed his cheek to Sam's.

"You've never been useless." He whispered and Sam responded with a heavy drop of his head. It hit Jet's left shoulder, and though Jet expected a recoil it wasn't so bad. "Why would you think that?"

"Because I haven't done anything," Sam grumbled, "When this all started to now I haven't done anything significant."

"Seriously?" Jet asked gently and nudged Sam's cheek with his own, "You've done plenty."

Sam just scoffed.

"What did we do that's so impressive?"

Sam sighed and pulled away, "I dunno, how about when Dean found Cas? Or you getting the mansion in the first place?"

"I worked to be objectified for money, it just so happened to be for someone who died and left shit for me, I didn't anything." Jet watched Sam pace a little; it was obvious that it had been a thorn for a while. How could he not have seen it? Wasn't he paying enough attention?

Regardless, Sam didn't answer, he just stopped and ran his hand through his hair.

"You know Dean only went into that part of the basement because you did first, right?" Jet continued, he'd even surprised himself with how gentle he was being. "Dean's not a huge fan of skulking around unknown areas with strange beings that might kill him." he paused, "You know, despite his dumbass move going into a cage. My point is he wouldn't have ever gone down there otherwise, which means he wouldn't-"

"He wouldn't have found Cas," Sam finished the sentence, nodding shallowly again but his expression was still down. "Charlie did most of the research that I was going to do, I wasn't exactly useful in that way either."

"You're the one who found those files in the first place." Jet approached Sam again and stepped in front of him. He touched Sam's cheek and affectionately tilted his head so they could make eye contact. "What's this really about, babe? You know you've been important this whole time; I know you know that. So why are you saying this all of a sudden?"

Sam's jaw clenched and Jet saw tears rising in Sam's eyes each time he blinked, threatening to fall. "I…" it wasn't easy, his chest heaved and he choked on the words. Jet waited patiently for him. "I feel like I let you down. Even though I knew you wanted to go to town more than me I let you volunteer to stay home. I couldn't get back in time to save you, and…" The tears started falling then and Sam tried to rub them away. It didn't work, they kept falling and he gave up on them.

"Sam, it's okay." Jet didn't know what would be the best thing to say but he couldn't just say nothing.

"I thought I lost you." Sam blurted out, angry and scared at the same time. His nose crinkled as he inhaled sharply and he turned away. Jet followed, trying to stay in front of him.

"You didn't," he tried to be reassuring but he couldn't tell if it was getting through.

"I was so scared. If Cas hadn't been there you would have died. But…" Sam looked at Jet's arm, his brow creased the longer he stared.

Jet followed Sam's gaze and looked at where the hospital gown dangled over nothing, just a wrapped stump underneath. "But this still happened."

Sam hesitated but still nodded, "Yeah. That still happened." His hands clenched as anger overtook him, his face was so tight and more vicious than Jet had ever seen it. He didn't know Sam was capable of that kind of temperament.

Jet had experience with anger; his family all had short fuses and so did he. But more than that he knew what hateful anger looked like, he'd seen it in his father and felt it in himself. That was the kind of rage that took its host down through insanity and beat the shit out of others. Jet didn't doubt that Sam had a handle on it; Sam's animosity didn't look as intense as others' that he'd seen.

"I wanted to get revenge for you," Sam said through clenched teeth, "I wanted to make those things pay for what they did. But I didn't, I didn't do anything worthwhile down there because Cas was far more capable than any of us. He did most of the fighting while the rest of us stumbled around in the dark. I couldn't do anything, I was completely useless and a liability!" He threw his arms up in complete disbelief of himself. "Charlie hit her head, Cas was cut up pretty bad, and I just watched my brother get poisoned. You've all got battle scars, proof you were down there doing your part."

"So were you," Jet tried not to get mad, "Do you want to lose an arm too? Sam it's not about what scars we have, what's important is that we're all here now. You did more than enough already-"

"So maybe I was useful before," Sam's gaze was harsh, Jet knew it was more self-deprecating but it still sucked to see that look at all. "Maybe I did something at the start but not when it was important, when it really mattered that I do something I wasn't there. I wasn't there when it mattered and if I was then what I did didn't help."

"It all mattered," Jet stated firmly without raising his voice to match Sam's. He could've easily started shouting, let it escalate into something big and stupid and just relieve the stress building up in his head. But he didn't want to take his anger out on people he cared about, he knew where the road took people and he didn't want it for himself. "Everything you did mattered. It matters to Cas that you were there for him, looking out for him. It matters to Dean that you'd support him in what he was doing, in the choices he made whether they were smart or not. You've been here with all of us every step of the way, no matter what. Bobby loves you, Charlie thinks you're awesome and wicked smart; hell I even heard Michael mention how much he respects you for what you've done!"

Sam looked at him sternly, "And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"What'd I do to help you? What use was I to you?"

"C'mon, are you kidding?" Jet couldn't help a stunted laugh as he studied Sam's expression. There was no sign of joking, "You're serious." He reiterated and Sam's demeanour didn't change. "Alright, listen to me, okay? You don't need to be useful."

Sam rolled his eyes and started to move away but Jet caught his arm again, nearly falling over in the process but managing to stay upright all the same.

"I said listen to me, I'm not done." He kept his tone as calm as he could, it wasn't that he was worked up but he didn't want to irritate Sam any further. "We all have this idea in our heads that we need to make our mark, that we need to have some kind of use to someone else. You're not a goddamn convenience item and you're not a tool." He felt himself getting riled up and took a breath to slow down. "What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't evaluate your worth based on how handy you are to somebody. I'm not saying you didn't do anything valuable, everything you've done is valuable to someone."

Sam took that little pause to ask softly; "What and to who?"

"Everything you do is valuable to me." Jet made sure not to hold back any emotion when saying that, he didn't want it to get confused and it was something that Sam needed to hear in full honesty.

Sam's eyes weren't dry by any means of the word; his mouth was pulled tight and trembling as he tried to read Jet's face, looking for some kind of lie there. He shook his head and choked on his words, "You're lying." It was so quiet and hoarse, like Sam wanted to believe he was worthless, as if that'd help anything.

"I love you, Sam." Jet said, unyielding. He smiled and shook his head as another laugh got caught in his throat. "Why would I lie about that? I'm scared too, you know."

The doubt that Sam was clinging to didn't seem to go anywhere; in fact he looked a little more skeptical. It was like he didn't want to hear the first part so he focused on anything negative he could find. "Scared of what?"

"Scared of losing you," Jet couldn't believe he admitted it but he'd already decided full honesty was what the situation needed. No hiding, no cutting corners.

"Why would you lose me? That doesn't make sense." Sam scoffed bitterly, his eyes were softer but confusion had moved in.

Jet realized it was time to try and babble through what he'd been thinking about while stuck in a hospital bed for days. "I mean, I know we'll always be friends, so I'm not scared of losing you that way. But we've only been dating for two months or something, maybe three. You didn't sign up for this amputee shit, and there's no reason you need to stick around and deal with it or me. So I'm scared you'll realize that, or that you'll realize how much trouble I am. Or-"

Sam cut him off with a kiss, knowing full well that Jet was about to go into an endless ramble. He could tell that Sam understood what he was getting at, and maybe what he'd said had helped. Jet wasn't sure he'd really helped Sam's problem, but he knew he'd at least displayed that he cared about the struggle and wanted to help. That was all Sam usually needed, independent little bastard that he was.

Jet let himself sink into the kiss as Sam had deepened it instead of pulling away. He found himself needing it more than he thought he did, a sturdy support that he could rely on. It meant more than words and told him enough before Sam could even speak after it ended.

"I'm not going anywhere, I love you too, Jet."

Those words barely registered in his ears before he heard Desirae cheering.

"Wooooo!" She clapped and so did a few other people who were watching their entryway soap opera. Sam's face flushed and Jet could only find the ability to grin and wave. "That was great! You guys are so cute together." Desirae ran over to them and climbed up onto Sam so she could try and hug them both.

"Thanks, kiddo." Jet kissed her forehead, "I like to think we're good together."