"Ostentatious," mutters River, torn between disapproval and admiration.

Me tilts her head, taking in the rococo flourishes of the chamber. "Time Lords," she sneers back. "Were they ever known for quiet and understated?"

A courtier enters the throne room, clutching an oversized trumpet. He plays a flourish and Her Grace, Her Worshipfulness, Her Most Worthy, The Divine Empress of the First Great Galactic Free Empire enters, smiling beatifically. Her smile does not fade so much as drain when she sees the two women standing audience.

"Oh," says Missy petulantly, "it's you two."

"Missy," returns Me, insouciant as ever. "It's good to see you again, too."

"What do you want?"

"What do you think?"

"Well, if it's boring, I'm going to have my guards take you prisoner and let something awful happen to you. I've been thinking about bringing back the Torment of the Imperial Eagles. You know, like that old Earth myth?"

"Prometheus?" offers River.

"That's the one. The trouble is it's so difficult getting humans to re-grow livers… Anyway. Back to my original question. Come on! We haven't got all day. Well, you certainly haven't."

"We need your help."

Missy rolls her eyes. "Heard that before. Not interested. And, unfortunately for you, not interesting."

"To find the Doctor," adds Me.

Missy shrugs. "Why would I do a thing like that? You know better than most what a terrible old fuddy-duddy he is. I can't bear the thought of him standing in here going on and on about such dull things as causal imperative, the proper flow of history, or the rights of my subjects to not have their innards torn out by bioengineered eagles. No, no. I'm sorry but… it's definitely the pit for both of you. Guards!"

River's hand is halfway to the holster of her pistol, but the threatened sentinels fail to materialise.

Me crosses her arms, shaking her head. "This is just embarrassing."

Missy pulls out her handheld terminal, pressing buttons, frowning. "Oh, for goodness sake!" she growls.

"What? What's happened?"

"You bought him here!"

"No-no- we didn't—"

"Then why else is my Capitol suddenly in flaming rebellion?" snarls the Time Lady, raising the handheld to blast both women into disintegration.

"I can see we've caught you at a bad time," says River, backing away. She feels the flash of heat as the Time Lady's weapon discharges into her personal shield. "We'll be in touch," she adds, as they turn to run. "Probably quite soon."

"No signal," says Me, as they sprint back to their shuttle.

"What do you mean?"

"He was here, I'm sure of it. The rebel radio feed is full of chatter about the Doctor. But I'm not picking up a TARDIS signature."

"Back to square one?"

"Back to square one."

Madame Vastra pours another cup of tea. A distraction, a displacement, River thinks. Something for the hands to do while the mind goes to work on a problem.

Except, of course, all of this is in Vastra's mind; a conference call across time and space to bring the Doctor's allies together.

"I can put out the Paternoster regulars, of course," says the detective. "If he stops by here we will know."

"P'raps we can look over your findings too?" suggests Jenny.

River nods. "We'd be grateful," she says graciously. "It's… imperative that we reach him."

Vastra inclines her head. "Why?"

"I'm afraid I can't say."

"Spoilers?" says Strax, rolling the unfamiliar word around his mouth distastefully.

"Yes," replies River. "All I can tell you is a creature of malign purpose and great power is seeking the Doctor."

"Which is why, I suspect, you are also finding him so hard to pin down," replies Vastra. "Whatever calamity this evil creature brings he seeks to avoid."

"He can't."

"Oh?"

"The creature must be stopped."

"And you yourself…?"

"If I could have done so, I would," River answers simply.

"That troubles me greatly."

"Me too."

Vastra nods. "We place ourselves at your disposal. Come and visit us in our proper time and place. I'll see what I can make of your investigation. Make my suggestion as to where to look next."

"Thank you."