Vows and Honor

Victoria shuddered fitfully in her sleep on the futon next to him, moaning quietly. Her eyes clenched tight against the soft flickering of the fire lighting the room. She looked ready to cry, but her body had no water left to spare.

Leonardo's breathing sped at the sound. He swallowed hard, wondering desperately what else he might do. He couldn't reach his family for advice. Not right now. Donatello was away, setting up a new hospital on one of the rebel undercover evacuation routes, while Raphael coordinated troop movements and Michelangelo oversaw communications.

He was on his own.

He cleaned her face and neck as best he could with a disinfecting wipe. Moistening her lips with a damp cloth, he squeezed a few drops of precious water into her parched mouth. Every few minutes, he stopped whatever he was doing and trickled a bit in, each time holding his breath until she swallowed.

If I don't get her hydrated, she isn't going to survive the night, much less a trip to the nearest underground hospital.

While the room remained warm, he removed her gore covered clothes and sponged her off. She was remarkably clean under the blood, but he had to bite his cheek almost through to keep from weeping at what he saw. The signs of severe trauma and starvation were everywhere.

Rummaging around in a small trunk at the back of the room, he located a long tee and some knit sweatpants, along with a pair of panties. Everything was a little oversized but they were clean and warm.

Bless Donnie's foresight about what to stock in these safe houses.

Knowing they were more likely to be used by their rebel companions, Don ordered clothing and other human supplies stored in each.

Tori whimpered in protest as he re-bandaged her wounds and dressed her. A sound so lost it almost broke him. He stroked her hair in an attempt at comfort, though she seemed unable to bear his touch when she was awake.

Will she ever be able to forgive me?

He wasn't sure. Before she succumbed to exhaustion, he pressed her for as much information as he could get, but she wouldn't grant him more about her personal experiences. That was bad.

From the scars on her body, she had to fight—tooth and claw—to survive.

The man who marked her cheeks was dead, that much she admitted. But, the shame on her face told him more occurred than a straightforward fight. The way she froze up under the thug's aggressive pawing on the train, the way her eyes flared wide and her face paled when she spoke of the events, were telling.

Leonardo had seen those symptoms before—in the faces of the many sexual abuse victims they encountered.

I'll never forgive myself.

Victoria was raped. Forced to kill. Starved and suffering because of his mistaken judgement. He, who had sworn on his honor to protect her. He'd destroyed the love of his life. Stolen the one thing keeping her going. Hope.

He didn't know how to give it back.

His own eyes shed the tears she could not. This time, he let them fall.

Curling up around her blanket-wrapped form, he tried to shield her with his body. He feared she might pull away, but her nostrils flared taking in his scent. Her rough breathing eased. Gradually, her shivering quieted and she grasped his arm, holding it tight.

"Victoria," he whispered brokenly, stroking her hair. It was so short now, cut off—as she had been. "My dearest one. I'm so sorry." Gently, he traced a finger over her tattoo and their wedding day floated behind his eyes.

Splinter officiated in front of the tiny Shinto shrine in the dojo—one of his last acts.

Victoria was breathtakingly beautiful in her white shiromuku kimono. Her long, dark hair bound up and pinned in place with decorative sticks he carved for her himself. Silver charms of health and happiness dangled from the bracelet at her wrist.

She walked slowly toward him, flushing with joy. Her eyes so bright as she recited her vows and reached for his hand.

It was an image he dreamed of often. The first thing on his mind each morning and the last thing he recalled each night. He'd grown complacent in that dream. Believed she was thriving far away from him.

The idyllic picture shattered, falling away as she shifted and moaned in his arms. It was a lie. All this time, she'd been hurting. Leo pressed her closer and kissed the top of her head, feeling absolutely helpless. Wishing, with all his heart, Splinter was still here to advise him.

"Father," he begged. "My Victoria is gone. What do I do?"

As if summoned by his plea, a memory surfaced. Another time when he'd been lost and asked his mentor for help. The night he decided to marry her.

"I shouldn't do this."

Splinter's dark eyes surveyed him across the table with quiet calm. Staring into his soul. Weighing. Measuring.

"Why?"

"I'm putting her in danger. If our enemies ever find out... Her life will be over."

"Is that truly the reason? Or is it perhaps something closer to your heart? You cannot run from love forever, my son."

Leo clenched his teeth and shook his head.

"It's too strong. If anything happened to her, I'd be undone."

"Leonardo, love can double as a weapon. Leave deep wounds. But it can also heal them. Trust your heart. Set it free..."

More tears fell, dampening his mask. Victoria may be gone, but Tori was still here. And there was something he could do about his broken oaths. Offer them anew and pray she accepted.

He took her hand, entwining their fingers, and repeated his wedding vows with the same fervor that drove him to the altar.

"You are my light here in the dim,
my solace in the most confounding sin.
I'll be your guardian and your guide.
Always at your side.

You stole my heart and gave me hope.
Trust my love, follow it back home.
Take my hand and be my bride,
Stay here at my side."

The words were seared in his soul. He would never shirk this oath again.

"Ignore the storm. Never you fear.
For I will always be right here.

You are my faith. You are my strength.
Forever more shall it be.
I'll be your lover and your mate,
So you will always be free.

If evil comes into our life,
we'll cast it off me and thee.
Beloved, shelter in me. "

Tori relaxed completely in his arms and she smiled, though her eyes remained closed. Nuzzling her face softly against him, she murmured something low.

Leonardo froze for split second, stunned, then sobbed freely into her hair, clutching her tight. A great pressure lifted from his chest.

She had whispered, "I do."