Swansea, May 2010

The wind had picked up. She clutched her jacket tighter. Not just because of the weather but because the man next to her was slowly killing her. And he didn't even know it.

Her wedding was in less than 48 hours and she was freaking out. He, on the other hand, was as cool as a cucumber. Totally stoic and calm. Helpful and reliable when it came to arranging things for the guests from their childhood.

The airplane tickets, the accommodations…

It was such a drag that even when it came to her wedding, her parents get to pick the location. The Lloyds were Welsh after all. Not that there's anything wrong with Wales. The country was beautiful but she wanted to get married back home. In the end, it had been a compromise. They pick the location and she got the guest list. She wasn't going to let them invite all of their snooty friends before her real ones.

She and Thaddeus sat on a navy blue and white striped blanket by the endless coast. In the distance, the gentle waves lapped at the sand. It was a sombre day. The sky was cast with deep blue shadows with streaks of muted grey swept across. It had turned the water almost black and murky. It suited her dark mood.

"Thanks for helping out with this whole thing. It's been crazy. I couldn't have done it without you," she said. It had been lame and she didn't expect a response so she wasn't disappointed when he merely nodded.

"When do you have to be back in Chicago?" she prodded. She needed him to speak. Or she would scream. Just scream at the sea until she goes mad.

"By Wednesday. I've missed quite a bit of work."

And she felt incredibly guilty about that but having him here… His presence soothed her. It made her not worry so much. He agreed with her on the candles, and the flowers, he knew good wine and he had approved the menu. She trusted him with that and Edward hadn't been bothered by it. He had been glad. He said Thaddeus was a lifesaver. She agreed.

So what if she sometimes pretended that he was helping her plan their wedding. So what if she sometimes daydreamed that he was the groom?

That's normal, right? Just cold feet and whatnot.

"I'm scared," she revealed.

There was a beat before he snorted.

"That's normal. You're going to spend the rest of your life with him. It's normal to have doubts."

Yeah, but she knew it wasn't normal to wish for someone else to take her soon-to-be husband's place. It wasn't normal to spend so much time with that man either. But they were friends now. Her and Thaddeus. Can't a man and a woman just be friends? It's the 21st century.

Her thoughts were meandering too much. Too many streams of consciousness.

Just tell him. Just tell him. Just tell him.

"Do you think– Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" she asked.

He sighed. In the distance, lightning flashed above the sea in a crackle of white. She turned to faced him and realised he looked older than his years. This wedding was taking a toll on him and it wasn't even his. Add that to the guilt pile, Rhonda...

"I don't know. Do you? I can't really answer that, Rhonda. It's not my place."

"Right."

They were quiet again.

"Look, do you love him?" he asked, sounding more tired than he looked.

She thought about it. Edward could be sweet. They could discuss art and politics. He was raised in the same circles as she and he came with a very hefty inheritance. Her parents were incredibly proud.

There was also the matter of her wealth being snatched away if she didn't agree to this.

So she said, "Yes." Before immediately wishing she could take it back.

He released a breath. "So go for it. I've never known you to be scared of anything when you're sure. You always had your eye on the prize."

She didn't know if there was a double meaning behind his words. She never told him of the circumstances of her engagement and chalked it up to coincidence that he said that.

Unbeknownst to him, his response, cemented her fate. If he had fought for her that day, showed a smidgen of feeling for her, she would have thrown the money back at her parents and said hasta la vista to Edward before riding off into the sunset. But Thaddeus didn't do anything. Instead, he sat quietly beside her and watched the sun descend.

It broke her heart but she wasn't going to cry in front of him and she wasn't going to beg. They were friends. Maybe he never liked her as much as she thought.

Or maybe it was her turn to take initiative.

"Curly, I lov–"

He shot up, unwise to what she was about to say. "It's getting late. We should head back. Your fiancé would be wondering where you are."

She felt the grains of sand hit her arm while he patted his jeans. Each tiny fleck pounded the numbness that was eating away at her. She swallowed her tears and nodded. She didn't look at him but accepted the hand he offered to pull her up. In the horizon, the sun had nearly set.

Yes, she thought as she walked behind her and wiped her tears silently, she would get married. And it will be wonderful.