CHAPTER 54
I do not own Doctor Who and I am making no profit off of this story.
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I arrived at UNIT HQ in my TARDIS to find the Brigadier already waiting there for me. This time I had brought Robin. I think that Robin might have been just a tad bit jealous when I told him that I was going to meet the Brigadier alone to swap stories about the Doctor.
He should know by now that he's the only one that I've ever loved, but he's still just a tad possessive sometimes. So instead of going with my original instinct which was to tell him off and go anyway I brought him along with me. I wanted to show him that he had nothing to worry about.
I could see Robin visibly relax when he saw that the Brigadier was an old man. He started to laugh at his own jealousy now.
"You silly man! As if I'd ever be with anyone else when I've got you," I said to him with a grin.
"I'm sorry, Lily. It's not that I don't trust you. It's just that I don't trust other men when they see how beautiful that you are both on the inside and the outside," Robin said.
"You're good. Just for that, I won't slap you silly for being so jealous when we get back," I said with a chuckle.
"I was hoping that would work," Robin said a little too quickly.
He wasn't fooling me. I now realized that he had come along because Allison had told him about what I did to Kovarian. He was worried about me and wanted to make sure that I was alright. Therefore, he had pretended to be jealous in order to have an excuse to go with me.
We walked up to the Brigadier and I said, "This is my husband, Robin. He wanted to come too. I guess he likes hearing about the Doctor screwing up as much as I do."
From the look that the Brigadier gave Robin, I knew that he realized that Robin was here because of what had happened before too. He was just as intelligent as I had heard.
"It's very nice to meet you, Mr. Wright. I think that we're probably going to be here a while, Mrs. Wright. I have plenty of stories to tell. Unless you'd like to narrow things down a bit and ask for something more specific," the Brigadier said.
"Will you please call me Lily? I feel like an old woman when you keep calling me Mrs. Wright," I said.
Robin started to open his mouth and thought better of it quickly. He'd better not say that I am an old woman even if it is true. I'm not old. I'm just chronologically challenged that's all. I'm young in my hearts. Just a girl really.
"I'm sorry, Mrs. Wright, but manners don't permit me to call a woman by their first name unless they're a close friend," the Brigadier said.
"Oh, we're going to be very close, Brigadier. Don't you worry about that. Okay, something specific. How about you tell me a story about the old days involving the Doctor and the Master? More specifically was there ever a time when the Master acted benevolent in any way towards anyone?" I asked on a whim.
He looked at me curiously after I asked this. I could tell that he never thought that I would ask about Koschei. He didn't know that I was his mother after all. I wanted to see if there were any signs that the Koschei that Rose used to know when they were kids was still there somewhere even back then.
"Well, there was the time that the Master saved Miss Grant's life. It shocked me at the time due to his past behavior, but the Doctor seemed to be completely unsurprised by it somehow," the Brigadier said.
"Tell me about that. To start with, who is Miss Grant? I assume that she was one of the Doctor's companions, right?" I asked.
"Yes, she was the Doctor's assistant back when he was the chap in the fancy clothes. Jo Grant was her name. That particular Doctor had a lot of run-ins with the Master. On this particular occasion, the Master had teamed up with a group of reptilian aliens called the Terileptils to invade the Earth for some reason or another that now escapes me. It seemed like that many of the aliens that we faced didn't seem to need a real reason. They seemed to be invading the Earth just for the prestige of it back in those days. At any rate, Miss Grant was attacked by several of the Terileptils who seemed to be intent on killing her. It seemed like she was moments away from being killed when the Master of all people ordered them to stop. He then brought Miss Grant back safety to the Doctor and even apologized to her. I'm still not sure to this day why he did that. Although I noticed myself that he seemed to be somewhat protective of her at times. She told me that he even asked her if she was alright once when he was holding her and the Doctor as his prisoners on a ship heading through deep space. It was very strange behavior I must say. I never did pretend to know what motivated the man though," the Brigadier said.
I smiled at this. It sounded similar to the way that he had treated Arkytior back in the distant past. He was always very protective of her as well.
"Thanks for telling me about that. I appreciate it more than you realize. How about a story where the Doctor really messed up big time? Come on and give me a really good one. I need some dirt, Brigadier," I said with an eager grin on my face.
"Well, there is a story that the Doctor told me of the time that he accidentally sold his TARDIS to a traveling space circus," the Brigadier said.
"What?" I asked with a huge grin.
"Oh, yes. He misunderstood what the owner of the circus wanted. The Doctor said that he thought that he was selling the owner some spare parts for the TARDIS in exchange for some information on where to locate the Master who had been up to no good somewhere in the area. Instead he wound up selling the TARDIS for the information by mistake. The Doctor and Miss Smith had to return to the circus in disguise and work there as a magician and his assistant. Miss Smith said that he performed the magic tricks very well except for when it came to sawing her in half. She was terrified that he was actually going to do it. Eventually they made their way back to the TARDIS which was a part of the show and took it back. It had been billed as the magic cabinet apparently. The owner had everyone pay for a chance to open it, but of course no one could. That was the attraction though apparently. It was a cabinet that couldn't be opened by anyone or anything not even the latest, greatest weapons," the Brigadier explained.
"Oh, that is classic! So he had to go to work as a magician in order to steal his own TARDIS back. Apparently he was a bad one as well. I'll have to talk to Sarah Jane about that sometime. Tell me more," Lily said eagerly.
"I like the Doctor. Why do you seem to hate him so much? I never understood that," Robin said.
"I don't hate him. I just don't particularly like him. There's a difference," I said.
Basically when someone elopes with your daughter without telling you then you do tend to resent that person for the rest of their natural lives. That and I just never liked him from the moment that I met him. He just rubs me the wrong way. I always just want to slap him every time that I see him especially when he has that goofy smug smile on his face because he thinks that he's so clever. I think that Rose actually loves that smile for some reason. I have no idea why.
"There was also the time that the Doctor was accidentally married to Miss Smith. Apparently according to some odd custom on the planet Resilius, any male and female who visit the sacred ceremony of the Rakyak together, even if they're just friends, are automatically legally married in the eyes of the people of that world. The Doctor took Miss Smith there to show the ceremony to her. It apparently involved fireworks and people dressing up in fancy costumes, kind of a combination of the American Independence Day and Halloween it sounded like. He had no idea about the local marriage customs however. Needless to say, Miss Smith was not amused. She made the Doctor go through some elaborate divorce ceremony that involved him juggling poisonous snakelike animals and running from rabid dogs in order to prove that he really wanted the divorce. They didn't believe in easy divorces on that world apparently," the Brigadier said with a chuckle.
"They certainly believed in easy marriages though. I have to tell Rose that one. I wonder how she'll react," I said with an evil grin.
"Now I want a story from you," the Brigadier said.
"Alright, that's fair enough. Let's see. What's a good one? Oh, I know. How about the time that the Doctor kissed me by mistake?" I said.
This was not a pleasant memory. I shuddered in revulsion even now as I recalled it.
"What? How did that happen?" Robin asked me in a very jealous voice. Now he really was jealous I could tell.
"Believe me when I say that you have no reason at all ever, ever, ever to be worried about the Doctor and me being together. It was a complete and total mistake, and I made him pay for it afterwards believe me," I said as I tried not to throw up at the memory.
"What happened?" the Brigadier asked. He was completely fascinated now.
"It was when the Doctor and Rose's son, Nicolas, was born. The Doctor was so happy that he wanted to kiss Rose. He was so excited that it made him just a little bit reckless though. He grabbed who he thought was Rose and gave them a deep kiss. The idiot didn't even look apparently because he grabbed me. I started fighting back right away while Rose looked on with a very amused look on her face. She actually thought that it was funny. When I punched him in the stomach, he finally realized that I wasn't Rose. Once he saw who he had just kissed, his face turned white; and then we both threw up together at the same time. He tried to apologize, but I slapped him in the face so hard that I instantly knocked him out cold. Then I went home and showered for about two days while I continued to brush my teeth every hour on the hour in order to purify my mouth. The next time that we saw each other we both threw up again at the bad memories that seeing each other brought back. It took many years before I could look at the Doctor without getting violently ill. I still get nauseous whenever I see him, but I don't think that has anything to do with that horrible kiss," I said with a shudder.
The Brigadier and Robin were both laughing out loud now and I smiled. It was kind of funny in hindsight as long as I don't think about that kiss. I always have to be careful about thinking about it too much, or I might start getting sick all over again. I don't think the Brigadier would appreciate me getting violently ill all over his base after all.
I was about to ask the Brigadier to tell me another story when suddenly out of nowhere appeared a man dressed in a long flowing robe who looked like a wizard out of some old fairy tale. He walked up to us with a malevolent grin on his face.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I am the Caretaker of the Museum of the Oncoming Storm," the man said.
"Is that about who I think it is?" I asked in dread.
"Probably so. It is a museum dedicated to the Doctor, the Greatest of the Time Lords," the Caretaker said.
"What does any of that have to do with us?" the Brigadier asked.
"The better question is why would anyone want to devote a museum to the Doctor, and who would pay to visit it? I really hope that man never finds out about it. His head will swell up to the size of the Sun," I said with a groan.
"I am here because I need to find the ultimate exhibit for my museum. The Doctor himself. I know that he comes here on various occasions and that many of his friends are here on the UNIT base. So I decided what better way to capture him for my museum than to capture his friends first. When he comes to rescue you, then I will have him," the Caretaker said with a crazed look in his eyes.
"I'm not his friend though. Can I go home?" I joked.
"I was listening to your stories while you were unaware that I was around. You have admitted to being his mother-in-law. He will come to rescue you for certain," the Caretaker said.
"Don't be so sure about that. He might just thank you," I said with a grin.
"No, he will come, and then I will have him at last," the Caretaker said.
"Why would you want him?" I asked in an earnest tone and not trying to be glib at all. Well, mostly not.
"I am the Caretaker. I collect things and display them. I will have the Doctor as a permanent exhibit for my museum devoted to him. He will be mine for all of eternity for me alone to enjoy. For you see, I am his greatest fan. I want him in order to create the Ultimate Doctor Collection, and you will be the bait that draws him to me," the Caretaker said.
"I don't think so," I said as I started to power up my regenerative energy.
The next second I found myself, Robin, and the Brigadier in a museum filled with various items that were connected to the Doctor. He had somehow transmatted us here in an instant. As I looked around me in a mixture of fascination and repulsion, I saw some old suits of the Doctor's, old sonic screwdrivers, a replica of his old car, Bessie, and even a replica of his TARDIS. Whoever this guy was, he was nuts. I mean he had to be to create a museum devoted to the Doctor. That was a given.
"Now, all we have to do is to wait, and he will come. Then he will be mine, and so will his remaining lives," the Caretaker said.
"I thought that you wanted him for an exhibit," I said suspiciously.
"I do. I will put his body on display here for my own personal amusement," the Caretaker said.
"This is all a game for you, isn't it? You're putting on a show. This is all just some sick joke for your amusement," I said.
"Maybe and maybe not. It will definitely throw the Doctor off of his game though. He won't know who he's really facing until it's far too late," the Caretaker said.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I think you know. You just don't want to admit it," the Caretaker said.
"You!" I hissed.
"By the way, Persephone, it wasn't good for me either," the Caretaker said as he pulled out a staser and knocked me out cold with it.
Now there's a cliffhanger! I'm really getting to like this narration gig. See you next time.
Next: We find out who the Caretaker really is next as the Doctor and Rose come to rescue Lily, Robin, and the Brigadier. I'm sure some of you already know. Also, what does the Caretaker really want? It isn't just the Doctor's remaining lives.