New York, July 2012

She was bored out of her damned mind. In her hand, a fifth glass of champagne. To be honest, all these social events were turning her into an alcoholic. Eddy had gone God knows where and once again, she was left to her own devices. Tonight is a social event for his business partners and they had brought their wives. The problem was she couldn't penetrate their already tight-knit group. They were all the same type, high maintenance with more money than sense. There was no way she could have a decent conversation with them.

Rhonda was amusing herself with the way the fizzy bubbles popped when someone sat beside her. She turned away, hoping to continue being undisturbed.

Having the party on a roof top was stupid. The wind made it too cold for her to actually enjoy the view of the city. Maybe that's on her, since she didn't have the forethought to bring a shawl or a jacket. Whatever. She'd blame it on the organiser. It's their job to think of these things.

She kept an eye out for her husband. It would take a miracle to spot him again in this sea of rich, entitled snobs. Her kin.

Eddy had been pretty absent lately. She'd be lying to herself if she didn't say that married life had left her disillusioned. With her husband often away, it had become absolutely boring. And when he was home, he's always too tired to deal with her. And she tried. So goddamned much but she tried. She bought lingerie. She went for couples therapy. She, not they, since he's always away on business.

She learned to cook for Pete's sake. In the end, she still didn't manage to capture his love. Just like her parents' love. It remained elusive and rarely spotted, like an endangered animal. Her mother told her it would take time. Her husband would warm up to her.

It's been two years since they got married. He shouldn't have just warmed up to her by now, he should be scorching. Did she need to buy an oven? Shove him in? Would that warm him up? She let out a giggle and then a tiny burp.

Damn champagne...

The thought of pushing her husband into a hot oven gave her too much satisfaction. The mental image was ridiculous since he was quite a large man. She'd have to buy a big oven like the one the witch used in Hansel and Gretel.

The champagne is definitely getting to her.

Or the neglect. She frowned. It could definitely be either of those things.

A couple, a few feet away from her, who were having a quiet discussion before was now having a full blown argument. She recognised the man to be Richard Vandenberg, owner of various sports teams based in the East coast. Their bickering was getting louder and she saw one a staff approaching them.

It was time to call it a night.

She didn't care if she couldn't find Eddy. She'll just take a cab and ask their driver to take care of him. She downed the last of her champagne and pulled a fifty out of her purse to tip the bartender. Since it was a party, it was open bar, the drinks had been paid for by the host but it made her feel good to do things like that.

"Do you come to these things often?" a voice beside her asked.

Great, just what she needed. A leery billionaire hitting on her.

"Why don't you just fu–"

"Off?" Thaddeus Gammelthorpe finished for her. "I'll do that soon."

He was smiling at her. He looked dapper, wearing a black tuxedo. Black-rimmed glasses framed his eyes and his hair was slicked-back. He was sitting by the bar next to her and she hadn't noticed. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She hasn't seen him since her wedding. It's been two years they haven't spoken.

Two years…

His eyes were twinkling with the same mischief that got him into a heap ton of trouble in their youth. She noticed the unfinished scotch in his hand.

"Hi," he said, standing up.

"Hey," she muttered before pressing her face into his chest and wrapping her arms around him. "It's so nice to see you."

He laughed. The deep rumble made his chest vibrate. He wrapped his arms around her too.

"It's good to see you too," he said atop her head, "It's been a while."

She breathed in his scent before letting go.

He beamed at her.

With Thaddeus, she never had to pretend but tonight she forced a big smile on her face. He couldn't see her like this, close to a nervous breakdown.

"So, New York? I didn't know you live here now," she said, asking the bartender for a glass of water. She needed to sober up. It won't do her any good revealing incriminating details about her life particularly when she was in a very sharing mood.

When the bartender gave her the glass, she gulped the water down in one go. She saw Thad's eyes widen.

"Just really thirsty."

"Uh huh," he said.

There was a pause.

She continued to smile at him.

"Well, I don't really live here in New York. I'm still based in Chicago. I was only here for a meeting. Then one of my clients invited me to go to this party."

"I see," she said coolly.

There was silence again.

"List–"

"I have to–"

They both laughed.

"You go first," he said.

"Uh..." Just run. Leave. Take one last look at him and leave. "...did you hear the Vandenbergs fighting in the corner?"

He appeared puzzled. "Yeah. Wait a second, are you gossiping with me?"

"Of course. It's me. What do you expect? Just fly with it. What do you think they were fighting about? I couldn't make out the words."

"First of all, I expected more. Second, they were arguing about the amount of alcohol she's consumed and then it was a very rapid shift to his inability in bed."

"Whoa," she said. "That's, well, I thought he'd be an animal in the sack. Being an ex-athlete and all."

"You'd think but I'm not making this up." Judging from his grin, he was. He probably couldn't make anything out either. "What are you up to now?"

"I actually have to go. Home, I mean."

Rhonda rubbed her elbow. A nervous mannerism she'd cultivated since she was a child.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I was planning to do that before… before you showed up. But hey, if you're still going to be in town for a while maybe we can meet for lunch to catch up?"

Please say no.

She watched his handsome face twist in disappointment.

"I can't. I have a flight to catch tomorrow. Then it's off to Sweden for two months."

She almost breathed a sigh of relief.

"That's too bad. If you get back here, stateside, give me a ring," she pretended to glance around as though she's looking for someone, "I don't know where Eddy is, probably with his buddies, but I gotta get home. Early morning tomorrow, like you. It's good to see you again, Thad. Bye."

She gave a nervous chuckle before clutching her purse and making a run for it.

Quick, Rhonda, quick! Use your long legs... I should be doing more cardio.

Rhonda was five yards from the exit when a hand grasped her arm. "Hey, wait up."

He did run track in high school.

"Yes?" she turned to him with a smile plastered on her face.

"I can send you home. My car's just downstairs," he suggested.

"There's really no need," she pushed.

"I insist. Come on, Rhonda. It'll put me at ease knowing that you got home safe."

And through that, she was quickly transported back to Rome. The moment when they met at the Colosseo. The event that set things into motion. How they indeed up here, in this moment, with a thick barrier between them. It was all her fault. If she had just had done something, said something, maybe she wouldn't be trapped in a horrible marriage with a man who didn't love her. So instead of saying no like her brain was telling her she said, "Okay, just show me the way."

He offered his arm and she wrapped hers around it, trying to appear as though her heart wasn't hammering in her chest or how happy she was to finally see him again. There was that scent too. His smell. Sharp and citrusy. The one that lingered in her dreams and stuck around as she awakens.

She stared up at his profile, he wasn't looking at her. He was giving his full attention to business associates that they came across, tossing a casual greeting here and there. The confidence he exuded as a teenager was now more subdued. It wasn't cocky or forced, he was just at ease. Like he had no one to impress. The complete opposite of her.

She wondered if that's why she was so drawn to him. Thaddeus never cared what anyone thought of him. He just revelled in the madness. She, on the other hand, cared far too much. To be in the presence of somebody who didn't have to please the world was refreshing. She yearned to be more like him. To take risks and be bold and be free and…

"Rhonda?"

"Huh?"

He laughed and gave her arm a squeeze. They were already in the elevator.

"You kind of spaced out. Are you alright?"

She let out a false, anxious laugh. "Yeah, just had too much champagne."

His gaze suggested that he didn't believe her but he wasn't going to press the issue further. Rhonda faced forward only to be confronted with their reflection on the mirrored doors. For a brief second, she admired the view. They looked like…

A young couple out for the night.

Her arm was still around his. It was a sign of affection that was far too personal now that they're in an enclosed space. Through the mirror, their eyes met. She wanted to know what he was thinking but his face was smooth, devoid of a tell. Too quickly, they reached the carpark. Their image torn apart as the doors opened. She released his arm.

"So, what does a young successful businessman drive?" she asked in a playful manner. They both stepped out into the dark parking deck.

"You'll see. All the ladies go crazy for my ride," he said, waggling his brows. A silly giggle of a high school girl escaped her. It was almost deplorable how easily he brings out this side of her.

"Still no Vespa?" she asked.

"Nope. I'm sorry to disappoint but prepared to be amazed. Panties have dropped at the sight of my car. I just pull up next to chicks, roll down my windows, and give them a smile. Afterwards, they're all over me."

"Trying to fend you off."

"Hmph, you're just jealous."

It was a short walk before he stopped in front of an electric blue Volkswagen beetle. Rhonda let out a huge laugh. It was so him. He made a big show of unlocking the car with the keyless entry system. The tiny beeps made her laugh even harder.

"Wow, I think I just orgasmed," she stated.

"Told you. Get in and stop staring at it before you get pregnant."

"You wish."

"Don't get too excited. It's a rental."

"Uh, that makes it worse. You could have literally chosen anything else."

"I like the way my clients look at me as I pull up in this sick ride. It's as if they couldn't fathom why a grown man managing their accounts was driving a beetle."

He settled into the driver's seat.

"I think I drove one of these in high school," she said as she got in the front. "It's so perfect for an adolescent girl figuring out that difficult phase between being a girl and being a woman."

He put the key into the ignition and started the engine. "Stop being cute. I'll have you know that this is a very manly car. Strong. Stable. Dependable. All the qualities a woman want in her man."

"Instead of sexy, cool, and young? I think you're talking about what a woman wants in a lock."

"That's what girls want, not a woman. A girl would want a Ferrari, a woman would want a Hyundai or in my case, a beetle," he teased.

"Then call me a little a girl because I'd take the Ferrari any day," she said, putting on her seat belt.

"Thought so. So immature. All buckled up?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm all good."

Slowly, he pulled out of the slot.

She proceeded to tell him where she lived and he keyed it in on the GPS.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him. There was a small smile on her lips as they sat in the dark cocoon of the beetle. In this world, she can imagine that he was bringing them home from a dinner party with friends. Afterwards, they'd arrive at their apartment, talk about their day before snuggling up in bed and falling asleep in a mess of tangled limbs.

But he was merely driving her home. The thought of their ride being only a matter of minutes slowly seeped into her brain. After they reach her house, she'd have to say goodbye and never see him again until the next reunion or big wig party. It could take years. She could be more miserable than she already was.

And then out of the blue, he asked, "Do you want to get ice cream?"

"Huh? Sorry?"

"Ice cream. You know, the dessert that's made out of dairy," he clarified with a smirk.

"Don't be an asshole."

"It's too late for me," he quipped.

She kept quiet.

No, you were never an asshole. I was.

"Rhonda?"

"Yeah?"

They stopped at a red light. If she wasn't wrong, they were already at Madison Avenue. About fifteen minutes away from her and Eddy's place on 93rd street.

She heard him sigh. "Are you really okay? If there's anything, you know you can tell me, right?"

Like how I regret marrying my husband? Or how I wished I run away with you instead but it didn't seem like you loved me so I gave up and didn't tell you? And now I'm depressed and on some days slightly suicidal. Most nights I think about you and where you are. Yeah, l could definitely tell you anything. It would go over very well if I say all those things.

"We should get ice cream. I was just thinking what flavour to get."

The car started moving again. For the first time tonight, he didn't seem satisfied with her answer. There was a hard set to his jaw and the corners of his mouth were tight.

"You know that I'm not stupid, Rhonda. There's obviously something that's bugging you. You were tipsy at the Eisenmann party and alone. What's going on?"

His response kicked her into a defensive mood and lit a fury in her gut.

"You think just because you're driving me home you get to pry into my private affairs?"

"That's not wh–"

She wasn't finished. "I haven't seen you in two years, Thaddeus. So excuse me if I don't want to share all the intimate details of my life and my, what would probably seem to you, first world problems. I don't know if you've noticed but we're not exactly close anymore."

The amount of venom in her voice shocked her.

There was another red light. He slammed both his hands onto the steering wheel. "You made damn sure of that. Didn't you, sweetheart?"

She was livid but he had a point. Like he always did. He was so good at that, making sense, reminding her of what actually happened, that it was her who pushed him away.

Why'd you never answer any of my calls, Rhonda?

Rhonda, I don't know if you're still reading any of these but please get back to me.

I get the message. I'm not going to contact you anymore. I'm not going to bother. You and Eddy have a very happy life. All the best.

She tried to stop the tears but they burst out of her. Sudden, angry sobs wracked her body. She watched as his eyes widened in shock. She couldn't bear looking at him so she retreated into her hands.

"Shit! I'm so sorry, Rhonda. I shouldn't have said anything." he said. "I'm really sorry. I swear sometimes I don't realise how big of an idiot I am."

His voice sounded softer and softer to her as she wallowed deeper in her despair. The apology made her feel worse because he really didn't do anything wrong. He'd only postpone the inevitable. The mess that she became in the dead of the night when all the distractions were gone and she is confronted with the truth.

That she is deeply unhappy.

And nothing she could do would change that.

A hand soothed her back as she let out her frustration into her palms, through her tears. It took a while for her to recover but when she did, grabbing some of the tissue from his dashboard, she put on a brave face. The one she had been trained to wear in times of crisis.

Lloyds never lose. Lloyds never show weakness.

With a raspy croak, she said, "I'm fine now. You can take me home. I don't think I'm in the mood for ice cream anymore."

He nodded. He got the message from her steely tone. It was some time before either of them spoke again. Her eyes were on his hands. She knew he was about to say something because his grip on the wheel tightened.

"About tonight, I'm truly sorry–"

"Don't apologise," she cut him off. "You're right. There is something wrong."

She looked straight ahead, before turning completely to her right to shut him off. He was observing her. She could see his reflection on the glass window.

"But it's none of your business and I will take care of it. I appreciate your concern."

She might as well have said "Thank you, come again." It was numb and impersonal but she was too tired to care. The outburst had exhausted her.

The car weaved through the sharp corners of the Upper East Side. Each light twinkling at her through the side view mirror.

"In 50 metres, turn left," the seductive voice of the GPS cut through the silence.

They were already in her neighbourhood which was fantastic because even if she wanted to stay in the vehicle earlier she couldn't wait to jump out now. Away from his pity, his concern, and from those fucking eyes that saw right through her.

"We're near. Thank you for dropping me off."

Her voice sounded so far away to her ears. It as if she's sinking underneath the surface.

"No problem," he replied in a tone so gentle like she might break if he spoke any louder.

The beetle stopped in front of a red brick building that she and Eddy had bought then renovated when they were only engaged. They had tenants on the lower floors but the top two storeys were theirs. It had been decorated by one of New York's top interior designers. It was modern and eclectic with a focus on minimalist pieces. It was a beautiful apartment, a showpiece, it just wasn't a home. It was her least favourite out of their six properties.

In the background, the engine hummed. Rhonda noticed his hands still gripped the wheel. She had made him upset. She decided there is no way she could leave on such a heavy note. Thus, with her brave face on, she apologised.

"Look, I'm sorry for being such a downer tonight. The truth is, Eddy and I are working through some things. Things that will take too long to explain in just a twenty minute car ride. I want you to know that I am incredibly grateful that you care. You care enough about me to ask, even after all these years. Not a lot of people do. So, thank you. But I'm a big girl now. If I'm in trouble, I can't wait for you to save me, Thaddeus. I have to save myself."

He let out a heavy sigh but shot her a smile. She knew that they were alright. Not the best shape but alright.

"Just to be clear, I can still come to your rescue from time to time, right?" his deep voice echoed in the car.

She focused on the way the light hit his lashes and the way his eyes crinkled. She will miss this man. Once again. The way he looked in a suit. How his bowtie was slightly askew.

"Of course. You're a genius at that."

Her reply earned her a smug smirk.

"But I fight my own battles. If I need your help, I'll say so."

She was unbuckling her seatbelt when she heard him say, "God, I miss you."

Her head whipped up on instinct and their gazes met. Her lips parted to release a breath.

"I'll try not to be a stranger then. Is your number still the same?" she asked.

"Yeah. It's the same."

"Then I'll call you," she placed a hand on the handle. "Good night, Thaddeus."

"Good night, Rhonda."

She doesn't leave. She doesn't know why she doesn't just leave. What is she waiting for? They're still gazing at each other, faces closer than they were moments ago.

Reality hits her. No, she couldn't do this. It's too late for this.

She pulls at the handle and the car door springs out. As fast as she could, she hopped out of his tiny car and walked to her front door without sprinting. To make the goodbye seem casual, she turned back and gave him a jaunty little wave. He responded with a two finger salute.

He didn't drive off until she was inside her unit.

Thank you to everyone who left a review. You guys have been incredibly supportive and sweet. It definitely motivates me to work harder on this story and see it to its completion. – Grand Ole Dutchess (The misspelling of Duchess is on purpose because the other username is taken. Yup.)