Swansea, May 2010
"Introducing for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Smith!"
A loud applause followed as Eddy pulled his wife to the middle of the dance floor. She gave a demure laugh when a soft waltz version of Fly Me to the Moon started playing. The guests sipped fizzy golden champagne and munched on hor d'oeuvres while they watched the couple float effortlessly across the dance hall. They oohed and aahed as the man twirled his partner, her skirt swaying with her. She wasn't just beautiful, with the biggest smile one's ever seen on her, she was transcendent. It's as if that was the night in which her image should be immortalised, because in that moment, she was perfection.
Her long, gorgeous dark hair had been swept up and twisted into a pale rose crown that adorned her head. The dress was extravagant, so richly detailed with delicate, meticulous beading for the corset before bleeding into heavy satin stitched like the feathers of a peacock for the skirt. It trailed behind her gracefully as she danced.
In a dark corner, covered by various guests, a man with jet-black hair kept his eyes on the couple as he stuffed as many mini lamb burgers as he could in his mouth.
Twenty six, twenty seven, twenty eight…
The click clack of high heels against the wooden boards alerted him of the arrival of another person. A blonde woman wearing a long, ice blue, chiffon bridesmaid's dress sidled up next to him. He ignored her and continued feeding himself.
"You're miserable," she said.
"That's an understatement," he snapped back, taking a break from the burgers to drink more of his Moët. He sighed afterwards and he felt her place a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't let it show," she whispered. "This day is about her."
He laughed bitterly. "You don't think I know that?"
Thaddeus finally faced Helga.
"Why are you saying all of this to me? I know."
Another sip of Moët.
"I know my place. Just go back to your fiancé and enjoy the night. Let me enjoy the free food from the menu I designed and drink all the alcohol from the wine list I created. It's one thing these expensive weddings are good for."
The touch on his shoulder became a grip.
"Yes. You are aware. It doesn't change the fact that you look like you'd murder her husband in a heartbeat," she said, her tone as resigned as he's ever heard it. "Come, join Arnold and me. We'll find someone to dance with you."
He was silent for quite a while. She just stood by him. The band was now playing Stevie Wonder's For Once in My Life and other couples have joined in. Rhonda's parents were doing some sort of shimmy. It made him smile.
"So, what do you say?" she said. "Joining us?"
The crowd had started to sing along.
He looked around at the gorgeous ballroom. There were sparkling chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. The room was a lit with the soft glow of hundreds of fairy lights nestled beautifully between sheer white cloth. The floral arrangement was tasteful with pastel carnations and bright yellow roses. He would know. It was how he imagined his wedding would be. Ironically, he had made most of these choices with Rhonda.
"I have to let it go, don't I?" Thaddeus asked, his voice cracked at the word go. It wasn't really a question, more of a statement of fact. It was the hesitation that was immensely painful.
In the background, the singer crooned "For once in my life I won't let sorrow hurt me, not like it's hurt me before."
His words echoed in Thaddeus' head.
She observed his profile. It broke Helga's heart to see her friend like this. She wrapped an arm around him and uttered, "Yes, sweetheart. I'm afraid this time you have to. It might sound crass or clichéd right now but there are other women out there… You might not feel the same passion for them but give them a chance, and of course, give it time. You'll see. It'll get better."
Her tone was so opposite of what people expected from Helga, in that moment she was maternal, nurturing, kind. Qualities that only her close friends knew she had.
He didn't give a reply. It was heart-wrenching watching a childhood friend completely defeated. His shoulders were hunched, his eyes were on the floor. He didn't cry but she could tell that if people weren't around, he would have. So she did what Phoebe would do if Helga was upset, she grasped his hand and pulled him to the source of the music.
"I'm not in the mood, Helga," he whispered.
"All the more reason to," she said.
When she had successfully pulled him to the dance floor, she hugged him and swayed him to the music, to let him know the she was there for him.
By the middle of the night, Helga had ended up dancing a tango with Arnold and Thaddeus had twirled three flower girls, all aged between five to eight, mostly Rhonda's cousins and nieces, around the dance floor. It lifted his spirits a little. He had to force a smile for them and bow like a royal before dancing with them. They all called him prince and he received thanks from the children's parents, grateful for the break, using the time to dance with each other.
He was dancing with a precocious little girl named Ashley when his depression reared its ugly head again.
"Where's your partner, prince?" she asked as her tiny hands grasped his.
"Uh, what do you mean?" he said. He twirled her again. Her adorable tiny feet fought to catch up.
She paused, trying to phrase the right words in her young mind. She gazed up at him with her bright blue eyes. "I mean, every adult is dancing with an adult. You've only danced with us. Where's your princess?"
He gulped. It would be a low point in his life if he started crying in front of this little girl.
She's in the corner of my eye, dancing with another man.
"Why should I dance with anyone else? When you're more fun than any princess," he said, lifting her up and then spinning her. Her laughter soothed his wounded soul. Ashley threw her hands up in the air and squealed.
She was still giggling when he placed her down, her tiny tiara was now askew atop her red curls. "My mother said never to trust anyone who flatters you too much."
He smiled, for real this time. "Your mother is a very smart woman."
Ashley was looking at someone behind him. She excitedly shrieked, "Aunt Rhonda!" The little girl burst into a run. As soon as she reached her aunt, she wrapped her short arms around her aunt's waist. The bride smiled before bending down to carry the child.
He could only watch as she made her way towards him with Ashley on her hip.
"You look like a princess, Aunt Rhonda," Ashley whispered in a voice that was loud enough for him to hear. He silently agreed.
"Thank you, dear," Rhonda said before glancing up at him. It was the first time that night that they had looked at each other. She was radiating pure happiness. It choked him.
"Who have you been dancing with?"
"Prince Thaddeus!" Ashley cried happily.
Rhonda laughed. "Well, well, well… You wouldn't mind if Aunt Rhonda steals Prince Thaddeus for one dance, would you?"
The little girl shook her head. "I'm thirsty anyway."
Her aunt laughed once again. "You little tyke. Go and find your mom." She landed a kiss on the girl's cheek before setting her down. The little tyke ran towards her mother, a tall redhead, who flashed Rhonda the finger discreetly.
The bride stuck her tongue out at her cousin.
"Classy," he finally said, finding his voice.
"As always. Besides, Lana will forgive me," she said.
Now that she was in front of him, the effect of her beauty was more potent. He focused on his breathing and hid his shaking hands behind his back.
"So, you've been popular with the kids," she teased.
He snorted. "Too popular. The bridesmaids might start thinking I'm a pedo. I've only been dancing with children the whole night."
She laughed at that, swatting his arm playfully.
"They're fun. And they seemed really bored. You know, with the adults being busy so…" he explained.
Rhonda was still smiling at him. She slipped her hands into his.
"You're a good man, Thaddeus," she said.
The first base notes of Captain and Tenille's Love Will Keep Us Together started to play. He took the lead and wrapped one arm around her waist. She let out a giggle at the suddenness of the gesture.
"I'm not that good," he said. It sounded more of a confession than he intended.
They began to sway to the music.
"Why can't you just accept a compliment?" she sighed. "Anyway, thanks for being a wonderful babysitter to the runts of my family."
"No problem," he replied. He concentrated on keeping rhythm and avoided all eye contact.
After a while, she asked, "Why are you so quiet?"
"Huh?"
"Nothing… Just, you've been really quiet since yesterday," she murmured.
"I'm just soaking up the view, and trying to stick this celebration to memory. You know how it is. I have to focus sometimes."
She stared at him. He looked away from her hazel eyes. When the part of the song that went "I will, I will, I will…" played, he spun her. The more dance moves he threw in, he figured, the more questions he could avoid.
However, when she came back to his arms, she was scowling.
"I really want you to have fun tonight," she said.
He suppressed the urge to scoff.
Really? This has been the worst night of my life. So far.
Instead, he lied. "I have been having fun. It's a beautiful reception. The view of Lake Vyrnwy is breathtaking."
After he uttered that, Rhonda placed her chin on his shoulder and her arms around his neck. He could smell her flowery perfume and sweet sweat.
She whispered, "I just want you to be happy."
He swallowed his sorrow.
"I know. I am. I'm happy for you," he said. No, insisted. And, he was. Even though he was also crushingly depressed at how everything turned out.
She let him go and shook her head.
"That's not it. I don't want you to be happy for me. I just want you to be happy."
That was the problem with happy people. They wanted everyone else to be happy. Like he said to Helga, he just wasn't in the mood. He didn't care for the way Rhonda shoved her joyous day in his face. He couldn't give her what she wanted. He couldn't pretend. So he said the only thing that was true. "You look really beautiful tonight, Rhonda. You make a lovely bride."
Rhonda gave him a half-smile. She caressed his face with her palm, then leaned into him to kiss him on the cheek. Her nude lipstick smudged onto his skin. He closed his eyes to savour the moment, placing a delicate hand on her back.
"Thank you, Thaddeus. You don't look so bad yourself," she said softly.
She pulled away.
"Have a great night."
His voice was gruff when he spoke. "You too."
With a wave, she walked away to join her husband. Eddy leaned in to whisper something in her ear and she laughed in response. Thaddeus couldn't hear her but he imagined the sound.
That night, he ended up in a hotel room with one of the bridesmaids, Eddy's cousin, Miranda. She was a screamer.