CHAPTER 60

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STRAX'S COMBAT SCHOOL FOR YOUNG LADIES

I was actually looking forward to dealing with Strax when I returned to 1890 after the horrible experience that I'd had on Undecimus. I just wanted to forget all about that as soon as possible.

I tried to put on my crazy Lily face to hide the pain that I was feeling from the recently reopened wound in my soul. Robin saw right through it though. I never have been able to fool that man about anything.

That's one of the things that I've always loved about him.

"Lily, do you want to talk about it?" Robin finally asked me when we were alone together.

"No, I'm fine," I said with a smile.

"No, you're not. I saw the devastated look on your face when you talked about your daughter, Lily," Robin pressed me.

"I'm okay," I said in a firmer voice with a slightly smaller smile this time.

"Lily, you need to talk about this in order to move past it. It's going to eat you up inside and come out in one way or another somehow sooner or later if you don't," Robin said in a concerned voice.

"I'm fine I said. Now let it go," I said through gritted teeth.

"I just want you to be yourself again. I don't like to see you in so much pain," Robin said with compassion.

Then I did something that up until then I'd never done to Robin before. I screamed at him as I said, "Shut up and stay out of my business! It has nothing to do with you anyway! Just leave me alone!"

I immediately regretted saying that as I quickly added an apology by saying, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that."

Robin looked hurt, but he was trying not to show it as he said, "That's why you need to talk about this, Lily. You've never talked to me like that before in all of the time that we've known each other."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm so sorry," I said as I embraced him and gave him a tender kiss.

"Please, Sekhmet. Let's talk about this," He pleaded.

I knew that he was serious when he called me that. He hadn't called me that in a billion years.

"I'm Lily, Robin. Sekhmet's long gone. The only part of her left is the insane version of her that I keep locked away in my mind," I insisted.

"No, she's not gone at all. You're still her, Lily. You can try to hide behind the crazy façade that you've invented for yourself, but you're still the same sweet vulnerable girl that you were back then deep down inside. That girl is in mourning yet again for her child. She needs to let it out and not keep playing this game where she's rock hard and has no emotions except for what she projects through a hollow façade. Talk to me about it, please," Robin said.

"I will. Not yet though. I can't just yet. I'm truly sorry for what I said. Do you forgive me?" I asked.

"Of course I do. I'd say that we had a pretty good track record. It was the first time that you've ever shouted at me in almost a year and a half. Some couples fight like cats and dogs on a constant basis so one little outburst after all of that time is not that big of a deal I think in comparison," Robin said with a warm smile.

"Thank you!" I said as I gave him another tender kiss and wrapped my arms around him.

"You can always talk to me about anything, Lily. I want you to know that," Robin said.

"I know it. I've just gotten so used to keeping things locked up inside that it's become second nature to me. I'll just have to learn to stop doing that now," I said.

Robin held me for a while as we stood there in silence, and then I finally said, "I guess it's okay if you call me Sekhmet sometimes. When we're in private you can anyway. Maybe I should stop hiding so much at least around you anyway. You at least deserve to see the real me if anyone does."

"I do see the real you, Sekhmet. I always see the real you whether you realize it or not. I just want you to stop thinking that you can hide her from me because you can't. I want you to always be completely honest with me about everything," Robin said.

"I will from now on. I promise," I said.

"Thank you," Robin said.

"I've hidden my true self from everyone for so long that I've forgotten who the real me is I think," I admitted.

"I'll just have to help you remember then," Robin said with a grin as he kissed me passionately.

As soon as he stopped, I said, "Do that again. It seemed to help some."

He obediently did so again, and afterwards I said with an evil grin, "That's knocking something loose I think. Please continue by all means."

He did so. Several times as a matter of fact. I'm not sure if it really helped me to remember who I used to be or not, but it certainly didn't hurt me any either.

I had to admit that talking to him some did help me to feel better so that I at least didn't feel like jumping off a bridge when I finally went back to work. I showed up bright and early in the morning hoping that I could get there before Strax in order to contain him somewhat.

No such luck though.

Strax was already there, and he was already talking to some of the girls. I just hoped that he wasn't scaring them to death. As it turned out, it was quite the opposite actually. They were laughing at him. They found him amusing it seemed.

"Hello, Noble Sekhmet. I was just telling the students about some of the many combat tactics that I will be teaching them today. Today will be a day to be long remembered," Strax said.

"I'm sure. I just hope that it won't be remembered as the day that I got run out of here on a rail," I said to myself in a low voice.

"He's quite funny, Miss Ceres. He just keeps talking about battles in outer space as if he really came from there. He's quite an excellent actor," one of my students said.

"Yes, he is. I just love his theatrical makeup as well. What play is he rehearsing for? Is it coming out soon? I'm sure that it will become a major hit if it does," another student commented.

After Strax went inside to begin his duties, I went along with this misconception of theirs as I said, "Yes, he is an actor; and he's working with me as a teaching assistant for extra income. Acting jobs don't pay that much you know. I'm glad that you all figured that out early and didn't really believe that he was an actual alien come here to teach you about combat in outer space. I mean that would just be absurd, wouldn't it? If he does happen to start talking about it though, just go along with it. He's very serious about what he does, and he may take offense if you don't play along. Be sure and pass that along to everyone else, will you?"

They all agreed to do exactly that as they started out the day. I hoped that this clever lie of mine might help to contain Strax somewhat, but I was sadly mistaken.

That will teach me to hire someone just because they say bad things about the Doctor. I mean if I'm going to start doing that then I might as well hire Davros or the Black Guardian to be my assistant.

Although by the time that Strax was through, Davros had started looking pretty good. I wondered if Oswin could get him to work for a cheap wage.

The day started out with Strax saying, "Hello, soldiers. I am your new teaching assistant, Strax. I decided to start out our first day together with something simple. This should be easy even for new recruits such as yourselves to learn."

Strax brought out a life-sized model of a Rutan and then proceeded to name, describe, and demonstrate one hundred different ways to kill one. He started by saying, "Now the first and best way to kill a Rutan is the tried and true blaster to the face."

Strax pulled out a gun and completely disintegrated the model in one blast. All of the girls gasped in fear as Strax said, "This is my own preferred method of death. Sometimes you won't have your gun available, however. That is what the other ninety-nine methods are for. Now let's go on to Method Number Two."

"There's nothing to worry about. That was just an illusion. A very sophisticated illusion," I said even as Strax brought out another Rutan model to demonstrate on.

Just as I got them calmed down from the first display, Strax proceeded to blow up the next model with a huge explosive device. The resulting shockwave knocked all of the girls in the front row out of their chairs!

"That's a pretty impressive illusion, isn't it?" I said with a nervous laugh.

The girls somehow seemed to buy that as they got back in their seats with very tense smiles on their faces, and Strax continued with his many different ways to kill a Rutan. My students' eyes got bigger and bigger as Strax went through one model after another as he ripped one apart with a rusty pocket knife, took another one apart with several well placed martial arts attacks that made it fall to pieces within moments, ripped yet another one apart with his bare teeth, and so on as he displayed to them many increasingly clever but ever more repulsive attacks that left many of my girls gagging in response.

As I was beginning to ponder where he was getting all of these models from and wondering if he got them wholesale, he finally scared the life out of even me with Method Number Thirty-Two. I couldn't believe what I was hearing so I asked him to repeat it just for clarification.

"Certainly, oh mighty Sekhmet! Method Number Thirty-Two for killing the thrice accursed Rutan scum is to set your spacecraft to self-destruct. I don't recommend doing this if you still need your spacecraft in order to kill more Rutans however," Strax said.

"Strax, are you telling me that you have a Sontaran spacecraft set to self-destruct somewhere around here?" I asked with some trepidation.

"Of course. How else are the new recruits going to learn without a proper demonstration?" Strax said as if it was no big deal.

"Turn it off right now!" I screamed in alarm.

"I don't understand. Have I done something wrong?" Strax asked in confusion.

"Mr. Strax, there you are. What have you been up to?" Jenny, the one who's Strax's friend not my granddaughter, said as she suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"I have merely been demonstrating my superior battle prowess to the newest recruits of the mighty Sekhmet's army as she instructed me to do. Now I seem to have done something to anger her. I'm not sure what that could have been, however," Strax said in puzzlement.

"He has a ship around here somewhere set to self-destruct," I said in a worried voice.

"Oh, Mr. Strax! You should have learned not to do that anymore after what happened the last time. You almost blew up half of London with that last one. Now you go shut that off right now," Jenny said firmly.

"Will that make you stop being cross with me?" Strax asked me.

"Yes, it will. If you do this, I'll love you until the day I die. Of course that's just an expression in my case, but I still mean it," I said with a nervous smile.

Strax immediately went to switch off the ship which was parked outside and had been rendered completely invisible. I sighed in relief as soon as Strax came back inside and told me that this had been done.

"Thank you," I said to Jenny.

"That's alright, Miss. I didn't want your class to get blown to smithereens any more than you did. Mr. Strax doesn't mean any real harm. He just gets a little bit over exuberant sometimes. He gets so excited about killing Rutans that he forgets that he's not actually in the war anymore. Sometimes you just have to make him face reality. He'll stop if you ask him with a firm but polite voice," Jenny explained.

"Strax, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to dismiss you. Thank you for your time here today though. It's been . . . interesting to say the least. Hasn't it, girls?" I said.

The girls all laughed nervously but said nothing. I think that said it all for them.

Strax looked at me with a sorrow filled and confused expression as he said, "I'm truly sorry if I did or said anything to offend you, Great Sekhmet."

"No, no. You're fine. It's okay. You're just not what I'm looking for. That's all. Thanks for your help though," I said with a reassuring smile on my face.

Strax seemed pleased by this answer as he saluted me and said, "It was an honor to serve under you, Mighty One!"

As Strax left and hopefully took his ship with him, I took Jenny aside as I asked," Would you like to be my teaching assistant? You handled him pretty well. After seeing that, I'm sure that you could easily handle any problems with my girls that might come along."

Jenny looked at me in surprise as she said, "I'll have to think it over, Miss. I already have a job you know."

"I know. Surely Vastra won't mind if you help me out some though. I mean I'll make sure that you get paid well, and I would really appreciate the assistance. If you've been dealing with someone like Strax this long, then you're more than qualified for this position. You're overqualified for it. Please?" I said as I practically begged her to come and work for me.

"I'll have to think it over. Can I get back with you about it tomorrow, Miss?" Jenny said.

"Of course you can. That'll be fine. You can come back here tomorrow morning and give me your answer," I said.

"Thank you, Miss. I'll just take Mr. Strax home now, and I'll be back early tomorrow to let you know my answer," Jenny said with a good natured air about her as she quickly left.

"Is she going to be your assistant from now on? I hope," one of my students asked.

"I'm working on it. Sorry about that, girls. Strax got just a little bit too much into his acting it seems. He became a little bit too immersed in the role. Don't worry though. He's gone now. Hopefully, we'll have someone a little less insane coming to work for us tomorrow. Oh, and girls? Please don't tell anyone else about this. Let's just keep this between us, okay?" I said.

They all laughed as they agreed to this. My girls must really love me is all I can say. That's good too because I certainly love all of them.

I somehow made it through the day without an assistant, and then I gratefully went back to the TARDIS. I collapsed in a heap on the bed as Robin said, "So how was your day?"

"Believe me, Robin. You don't even want to know," I said in a tired voice.

"I thought that you were going to start telling me everything from now on," Robin reminded me.

"Fine. Remember though. You asked for it," I said as I proceeded to tell him about the whole day that I had just suffered through.

Robin was looking at me in disbelief by the time that I finished as he said, "I hope that this Jenny takes you up on your offer. You certainly don't need to put up with any more applicants like Strax."

"No, I don't. If Jenny doesn't take the job, I might just consider Davros after all. He'd certainly be less destructive," I said with a grin.

Then I suddenly became serious as I said, "Robin, I'm ready."

I spent the next two hours telling Robin the story of my beautiful daughter as I told him several stories from her life. Then I slowly and painfully told him what happened to her the day that she died. At the end of it, I broke down in his arms like a child. I had to admit that it made me feel better to get all of that off of my chest though. I felt as if an enormous weight had been taken off of me, and it was only then that I fully realized for the first time just how much that I really needed Robin.

I had needed him for a long time and hadn't even realized it. It was as if my hearts hadn't really been working properly until I found him again. Now that I had, I was never going to let him go.

"She would have loved you, you know," I finally said as I lay there in silence with him later that night.

"I would have loved her too. After all, she was a part of you," Robin said.

"Don't ever leave me, Robin. I don't think that I'd survive it. Plus I'd have to hunt you down in the afterlife and drag you back kicking and screaming. Trust me, you don't want that," I said.

Robin smiled at me and laughed even as I said with a malicious grin, "You think I'm kidding, don't you? Let's hope for both of our sakes that you never have to find out."

"I'm not going anywhere, Lily. I wouldn't dare risk it," Robin said with a look of mock terror on his face.

"Good answer. I can see that I've trained you well," I said with a smile as I kissed him tenderly.

Next: Lily gets her answer from Jenny. Will Lily finally get her new teaching assistant or will she have to wind up asking Davros after all? Plus she finds out that maybe her daughter Aishwana isn't quite as dead as she thinks she is. Find out what I mean by that next time.