A/N Heeeeeey, so here is the next chapter, hope you like it and hope you are having a great week so far. I just have to endure two more days until thanksgiving break! Woohoo! Ima get my sleep on.
Chapter 11
I rested my head on my hand, supported by the arm rest on the door, tapping my right temple. My phone began to buzz and I pulled it out, after seeing that it was Alice, I answered and put it on speaker phone. Just in case it had something to do with another or this case.
"Eeeee-llo?" I answered in my best British imitation.
"Bella? Are you alright?!" She shouted worried.
I winced at her volume, "Alice, calm down or all of Seattle will hear you and there goes the secret. Yes I'm fine, you have nothing to worry about." I said putting the microphone close to my mouth.
Edward snatched the phone out of my hand, he put it close to his mouth and spoke dangerously calm and authoritative. "From this moment forward until I say otherwise we are off the grid."
"But Edward she-" Alice opposed.
"Off. the. Grid." He repeated.
"Yes sir." She answered quietly.
Okay maybe she should be worried, maybe I should be worried as well.
I looked at him, he looked pissed off, and I tried to defend myself. "Edward I don't see why-"
"Not another word." He interrupted. "You do not speak, understood?" He snapped. I sighed and turned back to the window. It looked like we were leaving the city, aw crap was he going to kill me in the woods?
I stretched my right foot in circles, I felt my blade press up against my leg, reassuring myself. Slowly the buildings thinned out until it was only trees flying by us. I stared out at the green and pondered over the possibilities of this ride.
i decided to entertain myself with my phone, but when I tried doing anything, it said I had no connection. I couldn't text, call, listen to music, it was pretty much dead, even the time had stopped changing. I didn't have my ear piece on anymore but I was pretty sure that didn't work either. I had been completely taken off the grid. I groaned and put my phone away, I didn't even have a book to read! I looked into the side mirror and saw my green eyes. Annoyed I took them out and put them back into their container.
"Finally, I thought you were never going to take off those damned things." Edward exclaimed through gritted teeth.
i turned to him startled, and opened my mouth to speak. But before i could, "No talking." He stated. I growled at him and crossed my arms frustrated . Why I didn't just speak out I had no idea, fear, annoyance, frustration it was all the same.
Minutes passed and it seemed like hours, who knows maybe they were hours, I had no way of telling, we turned off the main road and headed down a small dirt road. Yeah the whole killing in the woods thing seemed more likely by the minute. After what seemed like ages the car slowed down and came to a stop in front of a small, vine covered cottage. I heard Edwards door open and I watched him walk out, go around and drag me out. He led me by the elbow into the cottage and he slammed the door behind him. It was freezing in here, I rubbed my hands together and shoved them in my pockets trying to maintain warmth in my fingers.
He shoved passed me and started a fire in the fireplace, I sat on the edge of the armrest and watched him rub his hands together crouching by the fire.
Slowly i felt the warmth spread, but it was still cold, at least it was a start. Edward slowly stood and leaned against the mantle above the fireplace. "I told you to stay in HQ. Why must you be so difficult Isabella?" He uttered quietly.
I pursed my lips, ignoring him and instead staring out the window, watching the rain begin to fall again.
"Isabella, answer me. Why the hell did you go?" He repeated, his voice loosing its patience.
"Oh am I allowed to speak now?" I retorted annoyed.
"Damn it Swan! You could have been killed!" He shouted, turning to face me. His eyes narrowed and furious.
"As well as you!" I shouted back, "Many things could have happened, but we succeeded."
"That was sheer luck! Bella your life was in real danger, that man is one of the most feared men in Russia. Had I not been there, you would have been another victim! Which is precisely why I told you I'd handle it!" He shouted pacing the floor In front of the fireplace.
"Edward, my life has been in danger since the moment I met you. Do you think I do not know what the risk is? I realize the possibility of my death, but you have to realize that you are just as in danger as me. Maybe more, maybe less. None the less, had it not been for me, he would have never stepped outside and you wouldn't have caught him." I argued.
"I would have found a way." He mumbled.
"That is beside the point, whether you like to admit it or not, you need me. It makes things easier. It wasn't luck, it was cooperation from you and I."
"Bella. You. Could. Have. Died." He spat through gritted teeth.
"Of course I can! I'm only human! And no matter how much you try, you can never change that. Why can't you see this? What are you so afraid of?!" I retorted standing. Enough was enough, I would not fail this time. I had to make him see that I belonged here, at his side.
"We already went through this, I am not fond of repeating myself." He grumbled sitting down on the couch.
"No we did not go through this." I argued, stepping in front of him. "I can see your fears, your solitude, and all of it is unnecessary. First you don't a partner because it's another load to carry, fine then if that's what you're sticking with, I denounce being your partner." I stated loudly.
"Really?" He asked looking at me directly. I nodded and crossed my arms.
"As soon as we get back I'll have Carlisle move me to division 2, I'm sure they'll like the extra help. And I'm sure Jacob will be easier to work with." I stated seriously.
"No, no no! That's the same thing! You'll still be out there!" He shouted Frustrated. "I don't want you out here period."
"We'll I'm sorry Edward but that is not your decision. You may out rank everybody in division one, including me for that matter, but it is the head's decision that I stay a field agent, and I must follow my own orders." I stated in a grim tone.
"No, if you wanted to, you could convince him to assign you a different specialization." he stated shaking his head.
"But I don want to!" I shouted throwing my hands up, exasperated. "It's you! It's all you! The guys don't mind me there, the officers don't care about me anymore Now that I've passed. The head is delighted, and I want to help! It's only you that opposes me being here!" I shouted in one breath of air. I calmed myself down, breathing in deeply. "Why Edward. What is your problem? What are you hiding? What do you fear?!"
He was up so quickly, I missed it, the next thing I knew he was standing and had a tight grip around my wrists. "You. I fear losing you." He whispered so quietly I wouldn't have heard it had he not been inches away from me.
"Why?" I asked shocked.
"I need you." He whispered. "It's selfish, and I feel so stupid and weak, but i don't want anything to happen to you, because I need you alive, for me. You speak of my fear and isolation, how?" He asked shaking me. "How can you see into my eyes like open doors? How can you see into my core where I've become so numb? After all these years, there is nothing left but cold, despair, and darkness; yet you stand next to me and I become undone. Showing you the nothing on the inside, but you, you breathe into me warmth I've long been without. You look into me and fight to look deeper. There's no bottom in darkness Bella." He whispered torn. I stared at him, I could not speak a word. His eyes swam with emotions, he had such an intense look I was a bit afraid of looking into it for too long.
"If you don't believe that I can reach the bottom, then why fight against me? Why not just ignore me and let me go out there?" I asked slowly, remembering how to pronounce each word.
"Because I like to fool myself and hope. Hope that you can save me from the nothing I've become." He whispered sinking to his knees. He released his grip on me and I felt cold, though I was feet away from the fire, without his touch I felt an immense feeling of emptiness.
"Edward, the only way I can understand you, is by letting me be at your side."
"No, because I don't want you to understand me. I don't want you to feel the bitterness I do, the insanity I live through." He shook his head furiously.
i sighed and sat in front of him, criss cross and he stayed kneeling. He just didn't get it, did he? "Edward why don't you play baseball?" I asked curiously.
"What does that have to do with this?" He looked up at me confused.
"Just answer me," I sighed exasperated, "honestly." I added on.
He seemed to consider this and slowly sat down so we were eye to eye.
"I was preparing to play a game versus mike's team when I overheard some of the grown ups talking." He commenced, " after listening to a few words, I figured out they were talking about me. So I decided to hear what it was, they were talking about how I was just like my father. He was the fastest one of them, intelligent, and had a knack for reading minds. I heard them say they wouldn't be surprised if I chose to be a combat agent as we'll. Following my fathers footsteps was the topic of the conversation, then one of them said it was shame that I didn't have him to train me. That's when I realized that they weren't comparing me to my father, they were comparing me to one of their best agents. And they pitied the loss of skill he took with him. I was incredibly consumed by this, they saw me as another orphan to pity. That was when I decided to become a field agent. They said that they wouldn't be surprised if I became a combat agent like my father, so I decided to surprise them. I stopped playing baseball, his sport, I didn't become a combat agent, his specialization, and I became distant, I was no longer his pitied orphan." He finished and I remained silent.
After a couple of minutes I finally spoke, "You say you don't want me to live through what you lived through, you don't think nor do you want me to understand; but what you don't realize is I know exactly what you went through, and already understand you. You want to be Edward Cullen, not Edward Cullen II, just as much as I want to be Bella Sawn, not Renee Dwyer's daughter." I explained softly, fidgeting with my hands.
He remained quiet, "Edward maybe you don't want me with you, but I want to be here, and I..." I closed my eyes, and pushed away all my pride, "I need your help. I can't do this alone, no matter how much I try, I won't ever be enough. I just don't have the experience, and without you... I fear I might never have." I whispered.
I stared at my hands, "Course you can't, you need me." he finally spoke after moments of silence. i looked up to find him smirking, I rolled my eyes and smiled.
He sighed and I shook my head, "Partners?" I asked quietly. All my hope was in his answer, I hadn't been joking when I said i would transfer. I was willing to everything.
"Partners." He said giving me a sharp nod. I felt my whole self relax, the major struggle was over, but surely new ones would arise.
"Hey partner? Do you have any food?" I asked timidly, now that all my muscles weren't clenched, i had realized how hunger I was. When we left it was nearing 7:00 p.m. I hadn't eaten all day because I had running back and forth from our office, to Esme's, sending her the debriefing on the previous cases.
He chuckled and shook his head. "When aren't you hungry?" He chuckled.
"Hey, a girls got to eat." I defended frowning.
He shook his head once more and stood up, "I think I can fix something up." He offered me his hand, after I took it, he helped me up and led me into the kitchen.
"I didn't know you could cook?"
"Please, this is moi you're talking about, I can do everything." He answered smiling crookedly at me.
I rolled my eyes and took a look around. The cabin was small, it was just the living room where we had been at. The kitchen and a hallway with two doors. One the bedroom and the other the bathroom i assumed.
"Why did we come all the way out here?" I asked confused as to why he took the bother to drive all the way here.
"Hm? Oh cause I figured if I couldn't reason with you, I'd just leave you locked up here." he shrugged, rummaging through the cabinets.
"What?" I asked disbelieving.
"Don't worry, I'd stop by every month or so and bring you fresh supplies." He added on laughing.
"Ha ha." I mumbled rolling my eyes and crossing my arms, leaning against the counter top.
A/N Sooooooo? How was it? There will be a massive leap in the next chapter, and it will be done next ewe during break. A break which I completely need, and plan to enjoy. Speaking of plans, mocking jay part 1 is coming out this Friday and I am so psyched! I cannot wait to go watch it, but i am so gonna die when it ends cause i can bet you anything there going to leave it at a cliff hanger when Peeta and Katniss reencounter with one another. And I'll just watch and die in my seat from anxiety. Anyway see y'all soon and hope habe an awesome time.