Relicanth

The ocean waters were dark blue, contrasting the light blue skies above. Both were still. Below, small ripples showed the ocean remained active, but undisturbed. Above, there were no clouds, just a slow breeze that kept things from being stifling. The sun kept at a lazy pace in crossing the sky. Pokemon of the area were quiet. All in all, it was a sleepy passive day.

Near a small sandy island, a rough brown and tan fish Pokemon stayed at the surface of the water. The Relicanth was usually found at the bottom of the seas, but this one, named Dusty, was living under a human Trainer. He had grown accustomed to living at the surface of the water. As he ate microscopic plankton, food was no problem. It was a different kind of plankton, but just as edible. It didn't bother him.

Not much bothered him at all. Dusty knew that his kind was ancient. as long as the seas had been here, so had the Relicanths. At least, that's what his kind always said. And in all that time, they had never changed. They had never evolved, until some hyped up Pokemon that changed forms repeatedly for very short lives. A Relicanth could live a long time, and it would never change. They had never changed.

And thus, nothing was a surprise. Dusty could always know that if anything happened, some member of his race had probably seen it before. They had existed for a hundred million years, or so it was said. Because of that, some member of the Relicanth kind had to have seen some strange thing. In all, they had probably seen everything under the sun. Nothing should be a surprise and Dusty lived by that philosophy.

Like right now. Dusty's Trainer was kicking back in a reclining lawn chair, taking a nap. Said lawn chair was on top of the sea's waters. Attached to the bottom and sides of the chair were metal pipes, which made a support structure. That structure was attached to a harness, which the Relicanth was wearing around his body. With Dusty holding onto the lawn chair in this manner, the human could be there safely for hours at a time. Dusty did not mind. He simply stayed at the surface, lazily filtering plankton into his mouth.

The human was currently fishing, which meant he was leaving a line in the water as an excuse to take a long nap. An umbrella attached to the lawn chair helped shade his head from the sun. On this quiet sleepy day, it was the perfect opportunity for such kinds of fishing. They might catch something, or they might catch nothing. It didn't really matter. Restful days like this were necessary.

A splash interrupted the quiet day. The Relicanth opened his small eyes to see a bright blue Chinchou floating next to him. With its antenna bulbs flickering, she smiled. 'Hi there! Can I ask you something, huh, huh?"

Taking a deep breath, Dusty replied, "What is it?"

"So I've seen this line and hook hanging in the water for a long long time and I just wanted to know, what're you fishing for? Are you fishing for a partner? Cause I think I'd be good in battles! I'm looking for a Trainer. Is yours looking for a Chinchou like me?" she looked over hopefully, turning disappointed when the man was still sleeping.

"Hmmm… nope. We're fishing for dinner."

The Chinchou's eyes went wide. "What? You're looking to eat somebody? That's terrible, awful… you evil predators!" She dove back underwater in a fright.

Dusty just closed his eyes again. There was nothing to get worked up about in that exchange. Even discounting the fact that he couldn't eat anything he could see, predators were a natural part of life. It had happened since the beginning of time, since the Relicanth kind had been about. So, what was surprising about fishing for a meal? He quietly ignored the short chat.

Overhead, a Wingull flew by and landed on the man's umbrella. He squawked. "Oh my. Long flight. May I rest here, buddy?"

"I've got no problems with that," Dusty replied slowly.

A group of Magikarp then came swimming by. They were leaping out of the water, laughing and cheering. "That was awesome! We did great!"

"Yeah!" another called. "We'll be super-powered Magikarps in no time now!"

"I doubt that," the Wingull muttered.

Dusty watched the red fish swim on. It was nothing new. After all, everyone wanted to be more powerful in one way or another. He was just more concerned about relaxing today. His Trainer kept sleeping.

Time passed. A Coast Guard ship went by on its daily patrol. An actual fishing boat, this one carrying an impressive Wailord, passed them by. A party boat passed a short time later, all decorated with streamers, balloons, and signs congratulating someone's birthday. Ignoring anyone else who might be nearby, they shot off noisy bottle rockets and roman candles.

The Wingull covered his head with his wings. "Ugh. What's up with that racket? Some of us are sleeping here!"

Wondering, Dusty looked back at his Trainer. The man was still asleep. Grumbling a bit, but he wasn't letting the noise bother him. "It's nothing new," the Relicanth said. "Such things pass by often."

"With fireworks?" the Wingull grumbled.

"Not always. But it has happened before."

A short time later, someone's voice broke the quiet. "Row, row, row our boat… come on, we need to get to the meeting location!"

Dusty opened his eyes to see a wooden rowboat with three people in it. They were all wearing distinctive blue hoodies. Of the three, only two were actually rowing. "Can't you take a turn?" one of the rowers complained.

"Yeah, we've been at this since Lilycove," the other added.

"Can't," the third said. "I hurt my elbow pretty bad back there, so I don't want to break it. And since I'm the most important member of our trio, I must be exempt."

"So you say. Did you hurt it intentionally?"

"Of course not! Why would I hurt myself like that? And quit slacking. We've got more sea to cover."

Strange. But nothing new, Dusty considered. People were like that, both human and Pokemon.

"What're those twits thinking, crossing the Hoenn sea in a rowboat?" the Wingull asked. "They're going to get stranded."

"People do dumb things, it's not surprising," Dusty replied.

A minute later, while the rowboat was still struggling onward, a blaring siren of the Coast Guard ships pierced the air. The trio in the rowboat stopped, then tried to rush on in a panic. Then the party boat came back by, going at its full speed. No fireworks were being shot this time. Just behind them was the Coast Guard boat, screaming at them through a loudspeaker to stop in the name of Hoenn marine law. The two large boats passed by Dusty with his lawn-chair harness and the smaller rowboat without stopping.

"What's that about?" the Wingull grumbled. "I don't see how your human is getting any sleep."

"He does," Dusty said. "They probably got in trouble because of the fireworks."

After some time, the Coast Guard boat, the party boat, and even the rowboat moved on (the last to continued complaints from the 'leader' and the rowers). Dusty stayed where he was. The fishing line hadn't been tugged on at all during that afternoon, but there was no order to move. As the day quieted, it seemed like all was well.

Then a strange green and violet Pokemon crashed out of the ocean, looking back in a fright. The Wingull squawked in surprise. "Oh my gosh, is that the new immortal Pokemon Deoxys?"

"That's no big deal," Dusty said.

"No big deal?" the Wingull asked. "But it's a new immortal. Only the most powerful of Pokemon can become immortal."

"My kind has been around for a hundred million years," Dusty told him. "We've seen immortals come and go. It's nothing new."

Then a second immortal Pokemon, the small blue Manaphy, popped out of the water. "Aw come on!" she cried. "It's only for one day."

"No, absolutely not!" Deoxys stated, drawing back. "I'm not doing it."

"But it's for a good cause," she added, making her antenna orb flicker with disappointment.

He twitched in response. "I am not wearing a ball gown! You won't talk me into this one." He then vanished from the scene."

"Aw phooey." Manaphy dove back underwater.

There was a moment of silence. "What the fudge was that about?" the Wingull asked, his beak agape.

"It's got nothing to do with us," Dusty said calmly. "So don't worry."

The Wingull flew off the umbrella and came to circle over him. "Does anything surprise you?"

"Not much," he answered, shaking himself.

At that movement, his Trainer finally woke up. "Hmm? Is somethin' on the line?" He reeled back in and looked at the bait on the hook. "Bah."

"Honey!" A woman came down the beach from the house on the small sandy island nearby. "Are you going to have supper in tonight?"

"Mimi, your cooking is so bad, I can't even use it as fishing bait," the man called back.

Dusty's eyes popped open. "What? Did he seriously just say that?"

Back on shore, the woman got angry and yelled back at them. Apparently they were stuck outdoors tonight until they caught a new meal.

...

Ruby entry: Relicanth is a Pokemon species that existed for a hundred million years without ever changing its form. This ancient Pokemon feeds on microscopic organisms with its toothless mouth.

Posted for Father's Day, as a Pokemon I think my father would like. Several readers agree that a picture of Deoxys in a ball gown would be hilarious.