Forty-One - Jellal Fernandes

Jellal sat down at the table, ignoring the fact that most everyone was looking his way. He tried to pretend there was some other reason they would be looking at him

"Ahh, the arriving separately trick," Gajeel said. "Nice one."

Jellal grimaced. Levy elbowed Gajeel in the side and he just snickered. Erza came in and sat down across the table from Jellal. He didn't look at her. He hoped she wasn't mad at him.

"So, what's for dinner, Mira?" she asked, breaking the silence everyone had fallen into.

Mira raised her eyebrows and smirked, but didn't comment on what she was surely thinking about. The rest of the night progressed the same way. No one said anything, but it was obvious everyone was thinking about the same thing. It seemed like Natsu kept wanting to speak, but Lucy would stop him every time. When dinner had finished, he just stopped listening to her.

"Who cares if they're making out or not?" he asked. Jellal glanced at Erza and she seemed to have looked up at him at the same time. Both of their faces were flushed red and everyone was looking at them. "I don't understand what the problem is! Everyone was fine when it was Bickslow and Lisanna and no one even saw that one coming! Everyone's been waiting for Jellal and-"

"You misunderstood what you saw, Natsu," Erza said quietly. "We are not together. We weren't kissing. Drop it."

She didn't look at Jellal and he couldn't tell what she was thinking. Was she saying these things because she didn't want them to be together or because she just wanted Natsu to stop embarrassing her? She didn't wait for any sort of response. She just walked off, leaving everyone to look over at Jellal. He wanted to go after Erza, but figured it might give the wrong impression.

"She's telling the truth," he said. "It's not what you thought. It was a hug."

"That wasn't a normal hug," Natsu argued.

"Natsu!" Lucy scolded.

"I'm serious," he said. "This is a normal hug." He grabbed Lucy and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her and patting her back. "See, normal," he said. "Very friendly. This," he went on, adjusting his hold so he could touch his nose to hers. "Not so normal."

"N-Natsu, what are you-?" Lucy started, her face turning red.

"See?" he asked. "It looks like we're gonna kiss!"

"That was unnecessary," Lucy said as Natsu released her.

"Well, we didn't," Jellal said, standing up. "We weren't going to, probably."

"Probably?" Gray echoed.

Jellal sighed. "We just..." he said. "We just aren't there."

"You seem upset by that," Levy noted.

"Of course I am," he said. "It's not easy to be in love with someone you can't be with."

"Juvia is confused," Juvia said. "Why can't Jellal be with Erza?"

"Yeah," Gajeel said. "What exactly is the problem?"

"You both obviously want to be together," Mira said. "So go for it."

"It's not that simple," Jellal sighed. "She's too good for me. All I want is for her to be happy."

"I'm sorry," Lucy said, "but that's really stupid."

"What?" Jellal asked, taken aback.

"You think she'll be happy without you?" Lucy asked. "Did you even take into account her feelings?"

"But-"

"If you truly only want her happiness," Lucy continued, "then you'd stop trying to keep her favorite person away from her. You'd stop making her have to bottle up her feelings for you."

"But she-"

"No," Lucy said. "You're smarter than this. And you're less selfish than this. Stop being self-destructive before you take Erza down with you."

"Whoa," Natsu said. "She told you."

"Like you're any better, Natsu," Levy said.

"What?!" he said. "I'm not like that!"

"Nah, you're just stupid," Gray said. "You don't even recognize your own feelings."

"Oh, you're one to talk!" Natsu said.

A fight broke out and Jellal used the commotion to escape to his room. He shut his door behind him and looked at the spot where he and Erza had stood together. He had almost kissed her again. It had been less than four weeks since they had kissed before, and he had almost given in to his own desires once again. He thought about what Lucy had said and wondered if he really was being stupid.

Erza had kissed him back before, and she had seemed more than willing to accept the second kiss. Despite all the things he had done, she still stuck with him. If she felt the same way he did, would it be better to let himself off the hook? If she would be happy, could he really let himself be happy too? He flopped down on his bed and fell asleep, contemplating his choices.